Someone Please Help Me.

[Oasis]

Someone please help me.

I’m seriously debating shaving my head yet again because I just don’t know what to do. I’ve tried everything and it still looks a smoky hot mess. It’s dry, dull, crunchy, has no elasticity whatsoever and extremely frizzy.

I also have a problem with stick straight ends if I even think about a wash n go. It isn’t heat damaged because I don’t use heat and they aren’t relaxed because my last relaxer was in Dec 06 and I’ve cut and shaved my head multiple times since then. If I cut them, the next time I wash my hair they'll just reappear.

I really don’t want to buy any new products because at this point, if the **** I have doesn’t work, I highly doubt anything else will.

Here are the products I have that don't work:

Shea Butter
Curls Milk Shake
Castor Oil
Glycerin
Garnier Frutis Leave-In
John Frieda Frizz Ease
S-curl Activator and Moisturizer
Activator Gel
Vo5 Moisture Milk
Suave Toast and Honey or Some bs
John Frieda Curl Ease Conditioner

Is there anything I can make or combine with the products I have to give me the results I want? Or should I just give up at acheiving a decent wash n go? I already know I won’t have cascading 3a curls down my back and there will be some frizz. With my hair type that's unavoidable.

Here are some pictures of my hair and the straight ends I speak of.


Saturated with conditioner

Dry

Attempted wash n go

top

right side

left side

Sorry this is so long but I’m in tears because I really want to stick this out. Any advice would be appreciated.

 

[*closer*2*my*dreams*]

Poor thing...it'll be ok. I guess the first thing is to figure out how you're using each product and how often.

From what it sounds like, you have way too many moisturizers and not enough protein, which would explain why your hair could be on the fritz. that's just my opinion, but i'm sure some of the other ladies will chime in soon...

 

[Fine 4s]

I'm not clear on what results you want but I'm going to make some assumptions...

Some folks have said raw Shea Butter did nothing for them. You might want to blend it with other products to form a customized butter.

By the length of your hair, you might have to give it more time as your texture might change. The stick straight ends will go away. I have some of those. But because I have more length, you hardly see them so no worries on that...

I wouldn't give up on finding the RIGHT product. You might have tons of products but without the RIGHT one, what you have is pointless (u know this already.) So cry about buying new/right products for you OR shave your head? Some people have had to throw out a whooooooole bunch of wrong products out. What a waste but well worth it...

Are WNGs your only style option? There folks here who don't do WNGs at all.

Give it some time I say, if you really can't stand it, put some braids in and do the crown n glory, or wear a wig for a big but whatever you do, just be patient and don't rush off cutting it off!!!!!

BTW, I like your hair and see nothing wrong with it IMHO.

 

[halee_J]

First off DONT SHAVE UR HEAD...This can be fixed. First off lemme ask when is the last time you used a clarifying/chelating shampoo? If never or not recently it may be time to use...Frizz ease and S-curl both have cones esp the Frizz ease... you may be suffering from buildup on the hair preventing moisture to enter.

Second do you deep condition? My hair type is similar to yours and If I don't...ALL HELL breaks loose. You may need to start/ increase the frequency of your DC's

Try using a chelating shampoo Kenra clarifying is good, there is also one by ION brand, ORS aloe shampoo is a good cheapie too. I would then follow this with a good moisturizing DC.I do mine with hot towels the steam makes my hair rediculously hydrated.


We've ALL been hereIt will get better

 

[RedVelvet310]

Sorry to hear that, the side of my hair used to be EXACTLY like that (scab hair from when I was relaxed I'm sure it was scalp damage because the sides received the most heat abuse and tension abuse from pulling it into ponytails.. plus mineral oil/petroleum abuse lol)

I...
1. Clarify my hair with CON (red label) and baking soda, the con shampoo is moisturizing and the baking soda clarifies so it clarifies but doesnt dry it out too much

2. I currently am still searching for a DC but right now I use Kercare Humectress.. its okay

3. What I truly believe keeps my hair moisturized (so sorry hun but these products are not on your list) and what I use AFTER I was and DC... a mix or Herbal Essences HH and Coconut Oil. I apply this to my hair when it dripping wet and when its dry my hair feels sooooo moisturized I love it =)

*Sorry for writing so much... but I know the feeling.. HE is pretty cheap too.. like $2 for a small bottle.. and the coconut oil will last your FOREVER... I use it as a leave-in and my hair is HEAVENLY soft.. moisturized and smells GREAT*

HTH, Bri xoxo

 

[honesty]

Someone please help me.

I’m seriously debating shaving my head yet again because I just don’t know what to do. I’ve tried everything and it still looks a smoky hot mess. It’s dry, dull, crunchy, has no elasticity whatsoever and extremely frizzy.

I also have a problem with stick straight ends if I even think about a wash n go. It isn’t heat damaged because I don’t use heat and they aren’t relaxed because my last relaxer was in Dec 06 and I’ve cut and shaved my head multiple times since then. If I cut them, the next time I wash my hair they'll just reappear.

I really don’t want to buy any new products because at this point, if the **** I have doesn’t work, I highly doubt anything else will.

Here are the products I have that don't work:

Shea Butter
Curls Milk Shake
Castor Oil
Glycerin
Garnier Frutis Leave-In
John Frieda Frizz Ease
S-curl Activator and Moisturizer
Activator Gel
Vo5 Moisture Milk
Suave Toast and Honey or Some bs
John Frieda Curl Ease Conditioner

Is there anything I can make or combine with the products I have to give me the results I want? Or should I just give up at acheiving a decent wash n go? I already know I won’t have cascading 3a curls down my back and there will be some frizz. With my hair type that's unavoidable.

Here are some pictures of my hair and the straight ends I speak of.


Saturated with conditioner

Dry

Attempted wash n go

top

right side

left side

Sorry this is so long but I’m in tears because I really want to stick this out. Any advice would be appreciated.

First of all, don't loose heart! I am new to the forums but have been natural almost 4 years. I have to admit i have never worn my hair very short becuase i transitioned for 13 months before i did the bc. I find that my hair was dry becuase i was not moisturizing it properly. It took me a long time to figure that out. So i began to DC weekly ( with you length you could have do Conditioner washes during the week as well.) Then it started to feel hard and crunchy and i didn't know why. So i accidently washed it with shampoo ( i thought it was conditioner at first) and my hari was much softer after the following DC because i realized it was product build up that was causes
the hardness in my hair. So i realize di need to use a gentle shampoo at least once a month. Jojoba oil, olive oil, and at time shea butter and Oyin burnt sugar pomade make my twists shine as well.
But everyones texture is different, different things work for different people but try to not get caught up with thinking that nothing is working. I guess its first important to think about what look you are wanting to acheive vs what your hair wants to do. I just let my hair dictate its own path but just try to keep it moisturized. Lekair cholesterol and Nexuss Huctress and lets ORS paks..have all left my hair feeling soft and i have type 4b hair.

Also, wearing braids for a while would give you hair a chance to grow and maybe make you feel like you have more options.

So basically, make sure you hair is clean ( no product build up), well moisturized ( DC and oils), maybe give it a break through braids and don't get too discouraged, we've all been there, trust me. Hope this helps, I wish you the best

 

[Jaelin]

I can't really give advice on your specific products re texture since I am a type 4 and I've never done a wash and go. I feel your pain where the straight ends are concerned because once mine dries there is no curl to it at all. I do use some of the same products i.e. shea butter, garnier fructis. Do you use all of those products at the same time? I am wondering if maybe less products might work out better. Have the basics and try just one addition for a while and see what happens?

I never cut my hair as short as yours but maybe you should think about wearing braids/wig etc. this way you can put it out of your mind until it gets longer and you can try another style. I wore mine in cornrows and braids and then switched to twists practically all of the time. I don't see the point of cutting once again if the same problem comes up. Cutting won't make the problem go away. You may have to face the prospect that you won't get the look you want.

 

[Oasis]

I can't really give advice on your specific products re texture since I am a type 4 and I've never done a wash and go.

I'm type 4 too as far as I know.

I never cut my hair as short as yours but maybe you should think about wearing braids/wig etc. this way you can put it out of your mind until it gets longer and you can try another style.

I wore my hair in kinky twists for a few months but I got tired of them. I really want to learn how to take care of my hair without resorting to wigs and weaves. I used to be the microbraid queen and I don't want to go back to that but I may have to.

You may have to face the prospect that you won't get the look you want.

I'm trying, but once I think I've accepted my hair, I see a cute lil WNG and it all goes down the drain.

I'm not clear on what results you want but I'm going to make some assumptions...

I don't know what I want either, just something that doesn't look a hot mess.

Are WNGs your only style option? There folks here who don't do WNGs at all.

No, but I'd like for them to be an option.

BTW, I like your hair and see nothing wrong with it IMHO.

Thanks.

Poor thing...it'll be ok. I guess the first thing is to figure out how you're using each product and how often.

From what it sounds like, you have way too many moisturizers and not enough protein, which would explain why your hair could be on the fritz. that's just my opinion, but i'm sure some of the other ladies will chime in soon...

Okay, I'll try to do a protein treatment and see what happens.

Thanks for all the advice. I just reread my original post and I sound like such a drama queen.

 

[SEMO]

You could try bagging your hair over night with conditioner (I recommend an ORS pak) and then using a blow dryer to heat your hair (with the cap still on) with a handheld blow dryer.

I agree with the other ladies that you should try clarifying (I use Suave Professionals clarifying shampoo). I hope something someone's said will help you out.

 

[anon123]

Don't cut off all your hair because of some straight ends. Lots of people have those and it is just part of their hair. They should be a little less noticeable as your hair grows out. Just give your hair some time. I spent all last winter (and Chicago's winter is loooong) with hair that didn't feel soft or moisturized to me. Oh well. Nothing catastrophic happened. Just give it some time, try some different methods, but don't buy a ton more products. I agree that if someone tries 50 things and none of them are doing much, the 51st is really unlikely to do a whole lot differently.