Lol, we all can adopt you. That's what we are here for, to help. Describe your hair type, what you have been doing currently and what the problem is. Is the problem no progress? Surely if you have new growth your hair is growing, your problem must be retaining length.
Thanks sis, I love all y'all, but I need a go-to person. Here's my story :
My hair type is 4b.
After being natural for 7 years, I had a stylist texlax my hair with SE lye last year and lost a huge chunk of it. I have like a 4 inch wide area where I lost so much that I thought it might be health-related. I have about 1.5 inches of hair in that area. I'm able to cover it with a phony pony and I have slowly been trimming off the texlaxed part. My hair changed colors and is currently limp and crackly dry.
It is about neck-length right now. I went to a derm and he told me he thought it was the chemical that caused the breakage and recommended biotin for slow growth.
Since I've been here, I've jumped on every bandwagon (baggying, aveda, megatek, ayurvedic, oil rinses, mn, mtg, bt, msm, silica (did I leave anything out?)) that has come by and that is probably the reason for my current state. When I came here, my biggest struggle was getting past shoulder length. Even with wearing wigs over cornrows for a year, I still never got past shoulder length. I thought I wasn't retaining length, but since I can see my new growth now, I know that it is growing really, really slowly. I'm not even sure that I am getting .25 a month.
I cowash daily (I really like Lustrasilk Aloe vera cholesterol) and wear it in a wet bun with a phony pony most of the time. I also seem to have uncontrollable split ends. I'm obviously doing something really wrong.
For some reason, talking about this makes me feel really vulnerable
ETA: sorry for the long, dense post.
I need help with a regimen. 
Starting to feel like something is wrong with me.
