So we signed up for pre-marital counseling

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nychaelasymone

Well-Known Member
last night at church (6 months) and I'm nervous for some reason. I'm glad we're doing it but its scaring the hooohaaa's outta me. I told myslef no matter what, be honest with myself, him and Pastor and if we make it -Praise the Lord...there will be a wedding at the end of the year and if not, Praise God, I didn't marry the wrong man........:perplexed :crying3: :look: I told my fam....which was probably the wrong move, but they are all excited. I don't think I can get excited until this is over......I need a hug.
 
How would me and my So go about signing up for pre-marital counseling? Does it have to be with a pastor?
 
E_Williams20 said:
How would me and my So go about signing up for pre-marital counseling? Does it have to be with a pastor?
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No it doesn't need to be with a Pastor but many family life centers offer it. I'm not sure where you're from but a good place to start is with volunteer family organizations they can point you in the right directions. Also many churches offer classes.
 
Don't be scared! Everything will be fine. Trust me, I learned so much from pre-marital counseling. I'm so glad that my husband and I went through counseling before marriage. Our church required that we have pre-marital counseling before the wedding. I learned a lot and I still refer back to things that I learned in pre-marital counseling.
 
nychaelasymone said:
last night at church (6 months) and I'm nervous for some reason. I'm glad we're doing it but its scaring the hooohaaa's outta me. I told myslef no matter what, be honest with myself, him and Pastor and if we make it -Praise the Lord...there will be a wedding at the end of the year and if not, Praise God, I didn't marry the wrong man........:perplexed :crying3: :look: I told my fam....which was probably the wrong move, but they are all excited. I don't think I can get excited until this is over......I need a hug.
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You guys are very smart to do this. :yep: Best wishes ! :bighug:
 
Me and my SO are about to make the same move. Congrats on doing this! Many people don't realize how important counseling is before marriage, especially nowadays.
 
COngrats on making such a wonderful decision. Dont be scared. Counseling sessions are usually fun and definitely insightful. I think it is soooooooo crucial because the worlds definition of marriage is TOTALLY different from God's definition. What you will learn in counseling will be eye-opening and help you no matter what decision you make. Good luck and God bless both of you!!!!
 
misskris816 said:
Who ever decided to get pre-marital counseling deserves a pat on the back. Good luck to you and yours.
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Agreed. This is one of the best decisions you could make.

HOWEVER, please, please, please check the credentials of your counselor. Not every pastor or minister is qualified to do relationship/marital counseling. Please be sure you use someone who is a qualified and licensed MFT and has experience in pre-marital counseling.

Good luck!
 
FH and I start in Jan and I'm nervous. We had wanted it sooner but the pastor was like he prefers to have it lead up to the wedding. We were like....we don't want to pay for a wedding and all and then hate each other by the time we're done with counseling and not want to go through with it.

Oh well, I'm nervous but I'm happy because potentially losing a few K's wouldn't compare to committing to the wrong person. Most couples I've spoken to said it made them closer.
 
It sounds scary but totally worth it. Though as scary as it sounds, I know it would do nothing but HELP you guys. Best of wishes to you and yours! :kiss:
 
Thank you ladies. I'm feeling a little better about it.....at the end of the day it's a good thing. My church is well qualified and my pastor does not play w/ marriage. The man refuses to marry anyone who is divorced, unless they are re-marrying their original spouse. He takes it seriously. It's a 6 month course that is let by a group of qualified individuals. I'm actually comfortable with that part.

Lawd....help me to hold out!!!!! relax, relate, release!!! it's gonna be alright (I'm talking to myself)
 
nychaelasymone said:
Thank you ladies. I'm feeling a little better about it.....at the end of the day it's a good thing. My church is well qualified and my pastor does not play w/ marriage. The man refuses to marry anyone who is divorced, unless they are re-marrying their original spouse. He takes it seriously. It's a 6 month course that is let by a group of qualified individuals. I'm actually comfortable with that part.

Lawd....help me to hold out!!!!! relax, relate, release!!! it's gonna be alright (I'm talking to myself)
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Oh he aint playin!!!!
 
nychaelasymone said:
No it doesn't need to be with a Pastor but many family life centers offer it. I'm not sure where you're from but a good place to start is with volunteer family organizations they can point you in the right directions. Also many churches offer classes.
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Do the courses you researched cover legal and financial stuff like
major joint purchases (real estate, cars), debt management, budgeting, prenups, setting up trust funds for kids, inheritances, paying for elder care? What the ratio of spiritual to legal/financial advice?

A pastor gave my cousin and his fiance really AWFUL advice regarding a prenup. They're not consulting with a qualified lawyer. :nono:

There's probably not a one-stop-shop for all this stuff. I don't know what's typical.
 
aqualung said:
Do the courses you researched cover legal and financial stuff like
major joint purchases (real estate, cars), debt management, budgeting, prenups, setting up trust funds for kids, inheritances, paying for elder care? What the ratio of spiritual to legal/financial advice?

A pastor gave my cousin and his fiance really AWFUL advice regarding a prenup. They're not consulting with a qualified lawyer. :nono:

There's probably not a one-stop-shop for all this stuff. I don't know what's typical.
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The class covers everything you stated above, except pre-nups. I can't give you a %age but my class is well balanced and rooted in the Word.
 
Hugs. Whatever comes from it is a blessing.

Me ex-SO's mom went through premarital counseling at her church and the pastor urged her not to marry the man. Hubby was out of the house about 4 months after a HUGE wedding and they were divorced shortly thereafter.
 
Congratulations. This is an excellent decision. Please take it seriously and if you can do it with a qualified married couple, it really nailed it home for us to have both of them there being open and honest in talking to us.

My hubby and I went through it twice (kinda). We talked a LOT before counseling and yet we still discovered new things during the sessions. Our second set of sessions was with the priest who married us. His rule is never to marry a couple who hasnt gone through a few sessions with him, but he ended up cutting his sessions short for us because he realized we had done so much work already, he told us how proud he was. He even said so during our ceremony.

On my wedding day everyone kept saying how calm I was and I thought, goodness . . . in my heart this man is already my husband from everything we've said and done to prepare for this thing.

My point is: if you are both in agreement pre-marital counseling is a good thing, then I think you are already taken a major step towards something great.
 
I recommend anyone whose getting married to get pre-counseling. Even my pastor advises. I heard couple's learned a lot about each other.
 
loved said:
Hugs. Whatever comes from it is a blessing.

Me ex-SO's mom went through premarital counseling at her church and the pastor urged her not to marry the man. Hubby was out of the house about 4 months after a HUGE wedding and they were divorced shortly thereafter.
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Honey, that happened to a friend of my mom who is also a member of our church. Her friend and fiancee went through pre-maritial counseling. Our pastor told her not to marry this man because he's too controlling but she married him anyway. During their marriage he became verbally abusive and controlling like our pastor said. But she divorced him thank God.

If I decide to get married my fiancee and I will go through pre-counseling. If he's not for it then I'm not going to marry him. I just feel it will save a lot of drama and heartache. Plus, that tells me that he's not taking the marriage seriously.
 
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