SO over hair! - rant-

[LivingDol1]

this isn't really a brand new revelation... i've been keeping my hair in box braids since end of May, early June. my excuse has been not wanting to deal with summer humidity. now fall is here and i don't know what i want to do with my hair!

i am over the braids!! i can't wait to take them out! i think i will lose 5 lbs just from that. removing them carefully is going to take me 1-2 days if i'm focused... okay, now to my issues...

1) after i take out my braids, i'm going to have 7 months worth of NG. i have to decide if i want to go natural or keep relaxing. i've always relaxed when i wore it out except for like one occasion. but the thing that bugs me about relaxing is that my hair never gets straight enough. i don't understand the point of putting chemicals in my hair when it only loosens the curl a little... at least in my mind... and roller setting is a pain.. i know it's "healthier" but it takes me 5-6 hours from wash to dried set. and then my set frizzes sometimes. so i have to flat iron it to get it to not frizz.

2) my hair is straighter around my edges and curlier in the middle...(when relaxed and when natural... although i've only seen it natural once in my adult life...) and straighter at the nape. plus my hair is not thick. i have medium strands but you can see through my hair when in curls. so i don't really think a curly natural look would ever look good on me. i've tried braid outs and they look like crud.

3) i'm bored with my natural hair color. i want to lighten it up a bit. but i know coloring is damaging. but i'm bored... dammit.

4) irregardless of what direction i go in with my hair, i need to find a new stylist. i haven't seen my guy since march or april but it's drilled into my core that he needs to be replaced. i had a bad dream last night that when he trimmed my hair after my touch up, he gave me very bad layers!!! and when his mom confronted him about it, he said he did it for revenge!!!! yep, crazy i know, but a sign is a sign!!!

5) i've been thinking about getting a weave. the idea of putting my hair away and wearing some extensions sounds like such a lovely idea. i've never had a full weave before. i've been doing some research on BHM... but i don't know. i worry that my hair might break off... or that it won't blend... or that washing it will be a pain... or that someone is going to ask me if that's my real hair... when i know good and well that i have my own almost BSL hair....! and i pride myself of having my own hair... even though it's a PAIN in my BUTT to style!

6) also.... i hate bad hair days. i don't want to have to wear my hair up when i go out with my friends who all wear their hair down for a night out. hair up makes me look more mature... less edgy. it's never sexy. it's just... blah. sexy hair is down, not up! (at least in my opinion....on MY head... in my mind...)

i need a hair intervention or a 12 step program before i pull a Britney. HELP!!

 

[lilsparkle825]

breathe, girl, and congratulate yourself on where you are in your hair journey. i think we forget that one every once in a while

i say just get a sew-in to buy yourself more time. #2 sounds EXACTLY like you are describing my hair....silky on one side and looser (3c) on the edges, coarse and drier 4a in the middle/crown, and a silky 3b in the nape. all of it is fine strands. to tell you the truth, #1 sounds like me too...i was getting relaxers and my hair still mostly looked like no chemical had come near it unless i heat styled it. if you want a new color (at least temporarily), a weave is a great way to go. you know there are so many weaveologists on here and BHM who can help you pick a great one, depending on what color/texture you want. i promise you, post a pic and you will have your answer SOON. and just think, the braiding hair wasn't yours, so the only difference is this will be sewn into tracks instead. a well-done weave will be undetectable...and i have also noticed that as long as it isn't butt length, it will probably be undetectable as well. go for a cute bob like the ones Nichi rocks, and you will have that time to chill and think about it, as well as a really cute hairdo that will get you tons of compliments whether you are at work or out with those friends who wear their hair down (PS -- you don't have to wear your hair up EVERYDAY -- even the hardcore bunners take a day off every once in a while).

now get yourself a DVD (or maybe a season of your fave show on DVR/DVD), a glass of wine (sparkling cider if you don't drink), and a comb and get to taking those braids out. you've got length check photos to be postin' on here!

 

[LivingDol1]

^^^^ thank you thank you thank you!!! i am having some issues. i appreciate your response.

If #2 is you, you might just be my hair twin. i always hate how the nape hangs waaay longer than the rest of my hair when wet. it is seriously annoying. and paying 90 bucks for a mizani butter blends touch up is not solving my issues. the curl remains.

and it definitely doesn't help when that person who slaps on my relaxer also chops off 1.5 inches of hair every time i get a friggin' trim and i never can get to MBL. my ultimate goal is BSL, blunt ends... and maybe with a side bang once i get there. i need to find a responsible trimmer. I know Whimsy posted a good one. must do a search.

i also can't stand that when my hair dresser blows out my roller set, he somehow creates a fake bald spot on my head. every time i come home from the salon, i have to go fix it in the mirror. the only reason i can figure this happens is because he's so damn short. when i blow out and flat iron my hair, i don't have a bald spot. i want to kill my hair dresser. he can't even wrap a head. :grr:

i think i may get a sew in. it'll be like a mental health break. i've been watching too much reality TV, so you can only imagine how many sew ins i've been looking at. from the kardashians to the simmons girls... i have some hair envy. perfect every day hair envy.

i like kerry washington's hair as weave inspiration:

or the simmons' girls... but not as long...:

i wonder if 2+ inches of flat ironed roots will hold up with a weave. i am not sure i want to relax my hair again. i might really not. i had such pretty natural hair when I was 7... my mom used to set my hair and then blow it out and make it poofy like peggy bundy. i miss those days.

 

[EbonyCPrincess]

AWWWWWWWW, OP - *hugs*

1) relaxers don't get my 4b hair straight either but loosens it enough to make it a texture that is easier for me to manage and requires less time. as for the rollersetting - you don't always have to wear your hair straight even if you are relaxed, my good faithful is to airdry for a couple hours while i clean or do laundry or whatever.....then i do a braidout.

2) most people say that going natural gives their hair a thicker appearance. that was my experience as well. I, like you, transitioned once in my adult life as well and my already thick hair seems even thickER.

3 & 4) color, i do not do, EVER because i am relaxed and feel that its best for me to do ONE or the OTHER. when i get bored i do clip ins, or sew in a couple of wefts of color.

5 & 6) I too get bored with my hair. I like changing up my look! I am currently in a weave and those women over on the weave section of BHM have some AWESOME info. I was able to successfully do my first install and learned so much. I'm just like you because I go through periods of UGHHHH what do I want to do with this head. I am never sick of my length, just bored with my style - braids, weave, wigs, rockin my real hair, curly, straight, etc...so I feel your pain girl!

I think a weave is a nice idea - gives you the option to consistently wear your hair down, put heat on it everyday if you want without doing a thing wrong to your real hair. I'm enjoying mine right now.

I also think its good NOT to relax since you seem undecided and are gonna be putting your hair up anyways. A lot of the women BKT their leave out (if they have one) to blend with the weave to blend the natural or NG texture. Good luck and like lilsparkle said - BREATHE and congratulate yourself for the past 7 months of healthy hair care practices and protective styling!

 

[Nonie]

#2 is common to a lot of people who wear their hair pulled back into a puff or a pony tail, especially if they brush their hair all around to get it into that style. So your hair may actually not be like that when all's said and done. It might be curlier than you thought.

#4 made me chuckle, especially at his mama getting involved.

#5 seems like a good idea to me too. I guess you'll have to comb through the weave threads to learn all you can about washing and caring for your hair. As for people asking you if that is your hair, you just have to get over that. You KNOW your hair is beautiful so what does it matter if it isn't yours. In fact, I think it's awesome when people ask and you say no it isn't and then one day they refer to the weave you're wearing and you correct them and say, "No this time, this is all me." Kinda like how we all got used to Oprah being in a weave and then one day BAM and it's all hers and it's beautifully healthy. Booyah!

#6 If you wore a weave down while your friends wore their own hair down each time you guys went out, guess who'd end up with the healthier hair that has minimal split ends in the long run. So live wildly in the weave while you protect your hair. And then the day you'll be going out to some formal event where elegance is the name of the game, you can let down your hair and show off what's been going on under cover while everyone else was abusing their hair.

 

[Tiye]

1) If you pull a Britt then how will you stack up against your friends?
2) Why are you paying a stylist you don't like and don't even like his work?
3) Color doesn't have to be damaging. If you want to go from jet black to platinum blond in one sitting that might be a problem. But within reason there's enough color treatment conditioner in the world to keep your hair in shape.
4) Every now and again people are going to ask if you're wearing a weave or what kind of hair you have. Sometimes they'll ask even when it's your own hair. It's no big deal.
5) Being over hair is good - that means you know to keep it simple and that's when your hair is most likely to thrive.

 

[LivingDol1]

1) If you pull a Britt then how will you stack up against your friends?
lmao! true... although baldness might be the true test of beauty... i don't wanna feel the wind on my scalp like that... never!!!

2) Why are you paying a stylist you don't like and don't even like his work?
You know... it was hard to find this salon in the first place... his mom suggested i go to him. actually, the only good and perfect relaxer i got was from his mom. i'd go to his mom but i feel like that's... i dunno, cheating? he could do maybe 3 out of 5 things well and i just settled... and they had free pizza! anyway, they're dumped and i have 2 other salons in mind that i want to check out....

3) Color doesn't have to be damaging. If you want to go from jet black to platinum blond in one sitting that might be a problem. But within reason there's enough color treatment conditioner in the world to keep your hair in shape.
4) Every now and again people are going to ask if you're wearing a weave or what kind of hair you have. Sometimes they'll ask even when it's your own hair. It's no big deal.
true that. people ask me if my braids are real. i always tell them that they are mine b/c i paid for them. rude annoying strangers....

5) Being over hair is good - that means you know to keep it simple and that's when your hair is most likely to thrive.

i just wish i knew how to keep it cute while keeping it simple. i will learn. *sigh*

 

[LivingDol1]

#2 is common to a lot of people who wear their hair pulled back into a puff or a pony tail, especially if they brush their hair all around to get it into that style. So your hair may actually not be like that when all's said and done. It might be curlier than you thought.

OMG, i have never thought about it like that.... constant smoothing of those areas could be totally why my perimeter is straighter... so weird...!!! i even chopped off the hair on my nape once... like 15 years ago. it still grew back mad fast and loose. ugh.

#6 If you wore a weave down while your friends wore their own hair down each time you guys went out, guess who'd end up with the healthier hair that has minimal split ends in the long run. So live wildly in the weave while you protect your hair. And then the day you'll be going out to some formal event where elegance is the name of the game, you can let down your hair and show off what's been going on under cover while everyone else was abusing their hair.

true that...

 

[lilsparkle825]

^^^^ thank you thank you thank you!!! i am having some issues. i appreciate your response.

If #2 is you, you might just be my hair twin. i always hate how the nape hangs waaay longer than the rest of my hair when wet. it is seriously annoying. and paying 90 bucks for a mizani butter blends touch up is not solving my issues. the curl remains.

this is absolutely me. i remember when i was in the 5th grade i chopped off my nape because i thought it was growing in way longer and i wanted to wear my hair down without that "mullet" thing going on ....it was just my looser silky hair in the back hanging lower than the rest. i also remember going to my aunt's salon to get my hair done -- she tried a wet wrap, or whatever it's called, and it was a total fail since my hair curled up as soon as she tried to wrap it, despite the fact that she had just left the relaxer in my hair for dang near 30 minutes. it just wasn't having it!!

those weaves are cute. i watch a lot of e! and mtv (hehe) so i am always looking at the kardashians' hair and other random celebs. if weaves didn't give my SO such a visceral reaction (LOL), i'd definitely go for something like this:


i can't believe i didn't think about the BKT idea....i have seen that a lot on BHM, and it would really cut down on a) the fear of it not blending and b) the process you'd have to go through to get your hair as straight as the weave. of course you know if you go this route, we're gonna need pics. it's only fair.

 

[tHENATuRALhAiRpRoJEcT]

i love your rant so much!!! i'm ROFLMAO!!!!!<<< b/c i feel your pain.. and i love that so much personality jumps thru the screen in your words

i usually fall asleep on the third line!! <<<ESPECIALLY ON MY OWN POSTS!!!

i say sass it up with weaves, micro's until you decide what the deal is fo' you!
color.... I WILL MAKE COLOR A HEALTHY ALTERNATIVE FOR ME can't live w/out the low/highlights, bronze's, chestnut blonde's.... love love love but for me that means NO direct HEAT... and optimal treatment for my hair from then on
if you decide to color.... look me up, let's jump the broom together!

p.s......Nonie stop stalking my siggy!!!

 

[LivingDol1]

^^^^ i believe i will go the weave route. yes, the BKT idea for the leave out sounds pretty good right? especially since it wears off. i am very tempted to just make a decision and just grow out my hair natural... and just be a "BKTed natural"... but if i want to color eventually, could i BKT? i've never looked into that but i am curious... *more research*

well, I just got my halloween costume in the mail today(it caused quite the ruckus in the office) and realize that i can't put anything in my head until after oct 31st because i'm going to be this for halloween:

so i have until then to buy up some lovely hair, have consultations to find a weavologist, and a new hairstylist to replace the Trim Freaker. Halloween is always a lovely time for transformations.

 

[Nonie]

tHeHaIRLaB, you need to stop following me w/ that foolishness. I was here first, stalker!

 

[Nonie]

well, I just got my halloween costume in the mail today(it caused quite the ruckus in the office) and realize that i can't put anything in my head until after oct 31st because i'm going to be this for halloween:

I'm so jealous I didn't think of that first. I'm in tears. I thought I was the only one who comes up with some crazy sh** at Halloween. That is the coolest outfit ever!

I. Can't. Breeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeve!

 

[LivingDol1]

nonie, you too can be gaga from the 2009 vmas! just google lady gaga red lace costume and some option pop up under "shopping".