Sharpened
A fleck on His Sword
To be straight up honest, I don't want to post this. Here I am, meditating on the Father this morning and the words (including the title) pop up, along with the associated emotions. I am cringing at the thought of another lecture from someone about this issue.
It is a recurring theme: I give someone information; it gets either ignored, pooh-poohed, or outright rejected; sometime later, the person gushes over receiving the very information they got elsewhere, totally forgetting that I had mentioned it first, sometimes several times. Occasionally, I remind the person about what I said, other times, I just complain to DH. The reason why it is an issue for me is because I am not in the church and religion system, so I feel invalidated by believers because of that.
One guy I had listened to the past two years, Arthur Burk, calls it a legitimacy lie - a belief that you must do something to be seen as valid in the eyes of Yah and men. Our legitimacy should only come from the Father's love and His work in us, nowhere else. The soul always wanted to lead, instead of being in subjection to the Spirit, causing a loss of humility. Humility is caring about what Father Yah thinks about oneself above everything else.
"There is no glory in sowing seeds." That is the word I got today, meaning "no recognition, get over it." The Father had a few people with different speaking styles try to get this through my head. The adversary definitely went out of his way to mock me through others (praise or rejection). With His help, the old roots of this problems will be dug out and burned. Throw the seed and keep it moving!
It is a recurring theme: I give someone information; it gets either ignored, pooh-poohed, or outright rejected; sometime later, the person gushes over receiving the very information they got elsewhere, totally forgetting that I had mentioned it first, sometimes several times. Occasionally, I remind the person about what I said, other times, I just complain to DH. The reason why it is an issue for me is because I am not in the church and religion system, so I feel invalidated by believers because of that.
One guy I had listened to the past two years, Arthur Burk, calls it a legitimacy lie - a belief that you must do something to be seen as valid in the eyes of Yah and men. Our legitimacy should only come from the Father's love and His work in us, nowhere else. The soul always wanted to lead, instead of being in subjection to the Spirit, causing a loss of humility. Humility is caring about what Father Yah thinks about oneself above everything else.
"There is no glory in sowing seeds." That is the word I got today, meaning "no recognition, get over it." The Father had a few people with different speaking styles try to get this through my head. The adversary definitely went out of his way to mock me through others (praise or rejection). With His help, the old roots of this problems will be dug out and burned. Throw the seed and keep it moving!
and it was not funny at the time either. I can laugh now because I see what God was doing. I would genuinely be all excited to share something with different (hair questions, spiritual stuff, parenting, etc) ppl based on situations I knew they were going through. Never without them approaching me first and never because I was hoping to be the spot light. You know how it is, we know of the goodness of God and want to see others set free and have joy in this life. Then they would side eye me and at some later time be all googley eyed after convos with others. I once overhead a church member practically speak in tongues after the first lady told her the exact same thing I told her a few months back. 
Anyway, what I later learned was that God was preparing me for where I am now in life. I needed thicker skin to go where He was leading. Trust me I am soooo thankful because there are many situations I face that are cut throat. There is no way I would be able to thrive without Him....Ask God to show you what you should learn from this 'opportunity' for growth He is providing and know that your labor is not in vain! 
