Singleness vs. Marriage (Both ladies, please come on in)

[cocoberry10]

Hi Ladies:

Short question: Do we have the right to say no to marriage (or anything else), if God wants it for us?

This is kinda hard for me to write, since I've been privately struggling with this for a while, but I thought I could share it with you all. There have been so many wonderful posts about marriage, dating and preparing yourself for marriage. I am a single woman in my early/mid 20's and I've read some of the posts. However, I'm not sure that I want to get married.

It's not a matter of it being God's will or not, because I accept God's will for me (whatever it is). Something in me makes me feel like IT IS God's will for me to get married, but over the last year, I have felt the desire to be partnered with someone leave my spirit almost entirely.

It's strange, b/c this didn't happen as the result of a bad upbringing, bad relationship or traumatic experience. I had a really good childhood, loving parents who have been married for 34 years, and most of the few men I've dated have been extremely respectful. Even the one jerk was a lot better than most guys, and I wasn't hurt by him .

I'm starting to wonder if this is Satan trying to distract me, because God really does want me to prepare myself to be a wife.

Normally, ladies are posting about not being sure if it's God's plan for them to have a mate. I guess my question is, what if you feel really strongly that it is God's plan, but you don't want it? Do we have the right to say no to marriage (or anything else), if God wants it for us?

 

[PaperClip]

As a single female in my upper 30s who desires to be married, we all have the "right" to make our own choices through free will. God knows what we will choose but He doesn't make us choose. When He created us, He gave us the power of decision.

Marriage is honorable. That's all I got right now.... sorry I don't know what else to say other than maybe this is a time where the Lord is drawing you closer to Him for a variety of reasons and purposes.

 

[HWAY]

I agree with RelaxerRehab. I didn't get married until I was 35. I claimed to have commitmentphobia but I knew I was meant for marriage. Marriage is honorable but some can make room for singleness. I used my single state to draw close to God, travel and do things I wanted to do. Maybe now is not the time for marriage. Is there some goal you're trying to reach? Take advantage of your single state and reach for that goal. You will grow and may discover a man who makes you want to be married.

 

[cocoberry10]

As a single female in my upper 30s who desires to be married, we all have the "right" to make our own choices through free will. God knows what we will choose but He doesn't make us choose. When He created us, He gave us the power of decision.

Marriage is honorable. That's all I got right now.... sorry I don't know what else to say other than maybe this is a time where the Lord is drawing you closer to Him for a variety of reasons and purposes.

Thanks for your advice.

 

[cocoberry10]

I agree with RelaxerRehab. I didn't get married until I was 35. I claimed to have commitmentphobia but I knew I was meant for marriage. Marriage is honorable but some can make room for singleness. I used my single state to draw close to God, travel and do things I wanted to do. Maybe now is not the time for marriage. Is there some goal you're trying to reach? Take advantage of your single state and reach for that goal. You will grow and may discover a man who makes you want to be married[/B].

This is very good advice, especially the bolded parts.

 

[Southernbella.]

I agree about free will. You have the right to choose whatever outcome you are happy with. God doesn't force us to do anything.

That said, I would say you're in a great place. Many single women I know are stressed about when they'll get married. You are obviously content, and that's a wonderful thing. I agree that you should use this time to do what you want to do. The thing is, once you stop thinking about it one way or the other, that's when it becomes perfectly clear what you're supposed to do!

 

[cocoberry10]

I agree about free will. You have the right to choose whatever outcome you are happy with. God doesn't force us to do anything.

That said, I would say you're in a great place. Many single women I know are stressed about when they'll get married. You are obviously content, and that's a wonderful thing. I agree that you should use this time to do what you want to do. The thing is, once you stop thinking about it one way or the other, that's when it becomes perfectly clear what you're supposed to do!

Thanks, this is excellent advice !

 

[alexstin]

As you seek the Father. His desires become yours. If God truly wants you to do something and you are surrendered to Him. It will happen in His time.

I've seen it happen time and again in my life. There were things I was completely against doing. Days, weeks and months of walking with the Father got me to the point where, what I was initially deadset against seemed like the best thing in the world.

You don't ever have to worry about God forcing you to do anything.If you just surrender, watch Him be formed in you daily.

 

[cocoberry10]

As you seek the Father. His desires become yours. If God truly wants you to do something and you are surrendered to Him. It will happen in His time.

I've seen it happen time and again in my life. There were things I was completely against doing. Days, weeks and months of walking with the Father got me to the point where, what I was initially deadset against seemed like the best thing in the world.

You don't ever have to worry about God forcing you to do anything.If you just surrender, watch Him be formed in you daily.

This was powerful. Thanks alexstin

 

[Shimmie]

Hi Coco

I agree with the words given to you about 'surrender'...surrendering and trusting your life to God.

I can share with you that I've been where you are, many times. I was in a place where I did not desire marriage or to be in any type of relationship other than the one that I had with the Lord.

When I found Him, I was at so much peace and my life was so different, that I ddn't want to leave outside of its protective boundaries.

Later, much later, the Lord began to prepare me to 'love' again. And He began to show me this love with someone outside of my race. A love that I never knew or expected to happen. But this came from surrendering my life to Jesus, completely.

God will never force you against yours or His will. He leaves the choice to us. Yet sometimes (actually most times with me ) the Lord has a wonderful way of moving us to His way of thinking; with me, no matter how often I've said 'no.' It's always been wonderful.

I guess what I'm saying is, be true to what you are feeling. Don't suppress it. Don't ever feel guilty about your feelings. God says we are to worship Him in spirit and in truth. What you feel is what you feel. While none of us can tell you what or how to feel, yet Jesus...Hmmmm, I don't mind the changes He's placed into my heart.