Single women and the pressure of parents.....

B

bluediamond0829

Well-Known Member
Okay i was just on the phone with my mom and just started noticing my mom is getting a little pushy about me being in a relationship or to date---but now she is wanting me to look into go on websites like match.com and eharmony.com to find a date and i guess to find a relationship. I was just on the phone with her and yes im alone again and have been single for 5+ years, and for the most part the guys that i do meet end up bein nothing really to them.

So i was just tellin her that me and one of my girlfriend's was going to go out to dinner today but since i was feeling under the weather that we could try going tomorrow, my mom threw a dang on fit...but ive never heard her say or get like this but i knew it was coming....she was just like dont say nothing when people start talking about you being a certain way and always hanging out with your girlfriend's all the time.. and then she went on to say i need a man and how she cant wait until i meet a man to start spending my time with a man. I just started laughing at her cuz it was funny. Its just hard to meet men and especially quality men that want the same. Just didn't need that today of all days.....

I could only think about what my Nana is saying also....

Has anyone in your family done this to any of you before?
 
I've personally never experienced it...but plenty of my friends have...their parents really thought it was inappropriate 4 them 2 b approaching their mid 20s w/no prospects...

I would try not 2 let it get 2 me...our parents r from a diff generation
 
I am so glad my mother isn't like that. She is so chill and laid back and she is 74, but she is with it. I feel bad when I hear other woman talking about how much pressure is on them to get married, have children...........

One of the church ladies told my mom, that she had the prefect guy for me. My mother said she ask her "Did ThickHair ask you to set her up with someone?" The woman said no and my mom told her then it wasn't a good idea unless she got my permission. Score one for Momma ThickHair. This dude was butt anyway, he was her 2nd nephews, cousin's brother's, friend, fresh out the Pen who needed a good woman. Negro puh-leaze. He changed,...................
 
Last edited:
Yes i told her about herself i told her i had two guys that i was liking---and she turned around and said well what are you waitin on tell them...LOL

I really am hoping it doesnt get bad over time if i dont meet someone on her time schedule....and this is the first time ive heard her get like this.
 
It happen to me and honestly I just kept doing me...fastforward 4 years later. I've been married and now a mom. Don't worry about it. Just enjoy life as much as you can. One thing that I did do that most people don't do is change somethings I wanted on my list of must have in a man. Not really changed but moved lower on the list. Because looks was 1st and I moved it to #3.:look:
 
ThickHair said:
I am so glad my mother isn't like that. She is so chill and laid back and she is 74, but she is with it. I feel bad when I hear other woman talking about how much pressure is on them to get married, have children...........

One of the church ladies told my mom, that she had the prefect guy for me. My mother said she ask her "Did ThickHair ask you to set her up with someone?" The woman said no and my mom told her then it wasn't a good idea unless she got my permission. Score one for Momma ThickHair. This dude was butt anyway, he was her 2nd nephews, cousin's brother's, friend, fresh out the Pen who needed a good woman. Negro puh-leaze. He changed,...................
Click to expand...

Oh wow good for Momma :)
 
ms.sweetevie said:
It happen to me and honestly I just kept doing me...fastforward 4 years later. I've been married and now a mom. Don't worry about it. Just enjoy life as much as you can. One thing that I did do that most people don't do is change somethings I wanted on my list of must have in a man. Not really changed but moved lower on the list. Because looks was 1st and I moved it to #3.:look:
Click to expand...

Yes i do have somethings that I have changed on my list---but ive never been big on having a list of things that a man has to have..of course the most important and the obvious is Loving God, having goals and being motivated, Loving his family(parents and siblings) and of course I have to be attracted to him, has to have a career, but I've never been one that put height and some other things that some women are really picky about as high priority.
 
I feel your pain. My Mom comes at me out the side of her neck like that quite often. No disrespect to my Mom. I love her dearly but nagging me about a man is not going to make a good man magically appear. So, I politely remind her that I'd rather be happily single than miserably married. Our Mr. Rights are out there. We just havent' met them yet, but all things in due time :yep:
 
My mom is gently pressuring my sister and I to get married and have babies. I'm 33 my sister is 30.

But what can I say, it there is no QUALITY prospects.....
 
bluediamond0829 said:
Yes i do have somethings that I have changed on my list---but ive never been big on having a list of things that a man has to have..of course the most important and the obvious is Loving God, having goals and being motivated, Loving his family(parents and siblings) and of course I have to be attracted to him, has to have a career, but I've never been one that put height and some other things that some women are really picky about as high priority.
Click to expand...

Did you see anyone in the dating thread? There were some cuties with great credentials on paper.:yep:
 
Okay I am guilty as charged. Yes guility guilty guilty. I have one married daughter and now I am working to get the others one married off. ASAP. Just grin and bare it cause it is not going to stop let me tell you. I know it sucks but it is not going to stop.

But too bad they are not out shopping prospects like we do in our community. When a young woman is of marriageable age now with the age of technology there are email BLASTS to our community all over the world.

My foster daughters I don't know they are not Jewish and will probably marry Christian man. That is fine. But believe me all the boys I searched my Bio daughter I know they have Gentile friends that are like minded. No broke arse scrubs, uneducated, under educated baby daddys, lazy bad credit with issues need not apply. If you think that you can get away with something I will find out just because they are not my BIO you still get treated the same. Total background check. Yeah I am the crazy mama. Yep thats me. Daddy worse than me.

I am suprised that most parents don't know other parents with kids the same age like in Church or something.

Just a thought
 
thank goodness my parents aren't like that. My mom just keeps telling me "There's someone for everybody." "You will get someone one day." "You just haven't met the right guy yet." Same thing from my dad. However, I could see the uncertainty in their eyes when they say it, but they will never pressure me. They know my focus is on school and career right now. I sometimes joke with them that I will probably never get married and have grandbabies and maybe they should have had more than one child so they wouldn't have to just depend on me. They never laugh.
 
Last edited:
Yes, it happened to me. I had already joined match.com and eharmony.com and the other one just for black folks (I forget the name?)... I met some real losers and I was kind of down and out, spending my weekends at home.

My mom comes to me with this whole spiel about how I was going to be '35 and on the couch single.' :nono: It made me SO mad. Matter of fact, it pissed me off so bad that I purposely went to this mixer thing (wouldn't have gone otherwise) where I met my now boyfriend. I typed all that out to say that it's BAD TIMING yes, but she probably just wants to see you happy. Hang in there girl!!!!
 
You know Almaz, I'm not mad at you because you are at least DOING something instead of just telling your girls to "get a man."

My parents never pressured me, thank goodness, and they did attempt a few set-ups, but all of them turned out to be booty. Some dudes my mom shouldn't have even TRIED to set me up with... others were okay, but they never took me on a date... just phone called and Facebooked a lot.

Whatever.
 
Baby yes as soon as my daughter finished school I was on the Family and community Website blasting her stats to everyone who had a son of marriageable age. We also have huge conferences for people in the community. East African Jews especially focused on Asmarinos and their extended families.

Well my child me a nice man from the community at the conference in Chicago last year they hit it off and okay now they are hitched and they seem to be doing quite well together. Thank G-d it all worked out. But if people are not going to be proactive then they should not say anything

Just a thought Man if you were my daughters you would have all been hitched by now. Just saying :grin:



Bunny77 said:
You know Almaz, I'm not mad at you because you are at least DOING something instead of just telling your girls to "get a man."

My parents never pressured me, thank goodness, and they did attempt a few set-ups, but all of them turned out to be booty. Some dudes my mom shouldn't have even TRIED to set me up with... others were okay, but they never took me on a date... just phone called and Facebooked a lot.

Whatever.
Click to expand...
 
I cant wait to see the look on the face of my Nigerian parents when I tell them I plan to never get married.
 
OMG girl you are actually going to take the risk and TELL them instead riding the single thing out saying well mom and dad we didn't click. Boy that is a hard situation to deal with. That is like trying to take stink out of a pile of ****

just saying



AfriPrincess411 said:
I cant wait to see the look on the face of my Nigerian parents when I tell them I plan to never get married.
Click to expand...
 
Almaz said:
OMG girl you are actually going to take the risk and TELL them instead riding the single thing out saying well mom and dad we didn't click. Boy that is a hard situation to deal with. That is like trying to take stink out of a pile of ****

just saying
Click to expand...

I'll probably do that for the next ten years (I'm 19). But after a long while, they're going to be wondering a few things....
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

S
Feeling the Pressure
Replies
2
Views
81
MizAvalon
MizAvalon
CherryCherryBoomBoom
Single women must stay hidden?
Replies
24
Views
415
luckiestdestiny
luckiestdestiny
jhcprincess
How Long Before Meeting the Parents?
Replies
1
Views
113
ChasingBliss
ChasingBliss
foxxymami
Pressure to get married to your current SO
Replies
1
Views
90
drasgrl
drasgrl
SvelteVelvet
Men Eager to Meet The Parents
Replies
9
Views
185
Ramya
Ramya
Back
Top