Single for life?????
- Thread starter ebonyhair
- Start date
SvelteVelvet
Well-Known Member
Through my experiences, especially recent I've realized my tolerance continues to get lower and lower and my standards in a man are getting higher and higher. Though I have a strong faith that there is a man I'll be able to have a family with because I do have a strong desire to be a mother..With what the men I meet have to offer I'm finding I totally enjoy being single over having a relationship, I prefer it. Again this is based on my past experience, I've still got that faith but those knuckleheads have made it extremely hard for the next man to snatch me from my singledom.
I get where you are coming from.
I get where you are coming from.
MissNina
Libra Girl
I think it depends on how old you are or what exactly you have been through. If you've been through years upon years of relationship hell, I can understand it. If you're under 50 I don't really think it's the smartest thing. I think everyone gets to that point at one time but then they meet someone that makes them re-evaluate their position.
gabulldawg
Well-Known Member
At this point in my life, I definitely think I may be single forever, or at least for a loooooooooooong while. It's hard to get serious with someone only for it to not work out. I don't see how people can do this over and over again in a lifetime. 
I don't let myself think for even a moment that I will never get married. I feel 100% certain that I will because it is something that I desire and something that I have prayed about.
Whenever I get discouraged, I just remind myself to focus on being the best woman that I can be in order to be prepared when I meet the right One. Reading books about marriage and relationships can also help you see how sometimes it's actually you and the signals/ language that you are using to communicate with men and not actually just them being "knuckleheads."
"How To Marry the Man of Your Choice" by Margaret Kent is a great book for when you are serious about finding a husband. I'm not that serious about it at the moment, but has helped me improve my communication with men and refine my expectations.
Whenever I get discouraged, I just remind myself to focus on being the best woman that I can be in order to be prepared when I meet the right One. Reading books about marriage and relationships can also help you see how sometimes it's actually you and the signals/ language that you are using to communicate with men and not actually just them being "knuckleheads."
"How To Marry the Man of Your Choice" by Margaret Kent is a great book for when you are serious about finding a husband. I'm not that serious about it at the moment, but has helped me improve my communication with men and refine my expectations.
~~HoneyComb~~
Well-Known Member
You're willing to throw in the towel over one bad date?
What happened?
What happened?
JustKiya
Well-Known Member
I met my husband 2 months after I hit that 'Screw men, screw marriage, I'll be single forfreaking EVER' point.
I think I had to release the desire for it before I could get what I really needed. Or, maybe my search had given me an edge of desparation. I dunno.... but you never know what (or who) tomorrow will bring.
I think I had to release the desire for it before I could get what I really needed. Or, maybe my search had given me an edge of desparation. I dunno.... but you never know what (or who) tomorrow will bring.
Carolina18
New Member
au contraire.... they'll help him stand out and ensure that in the interim, you don't get sidetracked by people who are not supposed to be in your life. Well, that's what I'd like to think anyway, lol.
I do understand the frustration expressed in this thread towards failed relationships and the pointlessness of them all, which I think in many cases stems from us not having a clear relationship/ marriage plan from the get-go. We get into relationships thinking that we'll 'try them out', or because we're 'feeling a guy', 'he's cute' or whatever, and then find ourselves frustrated later on when it doesn't go anywhere once our feelings deepen and we've invested a lot in the relationship.
It's not something we're supposed to do over and over again, and that IMO is one of the disadvantages of casual dating - it brings with it a 'discard' provision that people take into marriage. So, the moment people hit a rough period, they do what they did in previous relationships - leave, and look for someone else. That's what they've learnt to do.
So, perhaps getting 'burned' is a good thing, cause it forces you to rethink your priorities and be more purposeful about dating, so you stop wasting your time. Perhaps then you start to consider whether you can see yourself with that person in the long-term; whether they also have marriage in their plans, and what part they intend for you to play in that.
This is not directed at you OP... just my general $0.02
Last edited:
Carolina18
New Member
I looked up the book on Amazon, but the negative reviews are a bit disconcerting. Is the info true? http://www.amazon.com/How-Marry-Man...?ie=UTF8&showViewpoints=0&filterBy=addOneStar
MissNina
Libra Girl
At this point in my life, I definitely think I may be single forever, or at least for a loooooooooooong while. It's hard to get serious with someone only for it to not work out. I don't see how people can do this over and over again in a lifetime.
Casually dating is the key to relationship happiness! I swear by it
blue_flower
Well-Known Member
What didnt happen? Let me give you some background info-I'm 28-he's 40-We met at work/ Went on one date two weeks ago to a party so no money involved (It went well) and we went out last night. We both work for the school board and at work this man is professional, respectful, FINE as hell and seemed like a GREAT catch.
We decided to go to TGIF Fridays- he ordered an appertizer and he was like-lets just share this. I went along with it and was like ok cool. So finaly the check comes and this fool starts looking around.....so after it was CLEAR that he had no intention on paying the 19.00 dollar check I gave the waiter my cc. Like an ediot I forgot to activate that card after receiving it in the mail the day before so it was returned to me by the waiter. I offered to use another card and at this point with an attitude he says "Fine I will get my wallet from the car" Why is his wallet in his car?????? When he passes me going to his car he mumbles..."I should leave ur ***!Ok finally he comes back in and pays. I ended up leaving seven dollars for the tip which he picked up five and pocketed on the way out. The entire night I noticed a drink in the cupholder which I realized was alchohol when a cop pulled up behind us and he handed the cup to me and was like-"hold this hold this" Luckily we didnt get stopped. Finally he pulls up in front of my house and asks If he can come in. I was like No Im tired and walked away. He then shouts "This is the last time you will EVER hear from me!.....then he calls an hour later to apologize.
erplexed
ARE YOU FOR REAL?! Consider it a good thing he doesn't want to see you again!
Carolina18
New Member
Oh my word @ the OP's date. I have no words.
gabulldawg
Well-Known Member
WOW, ebonyhair! That sounds AWFUL!! These "men" are a trip nowadays... I hope you aren't planning on seeing or talking to him again. If I were you I would just do my best to avoid him at work, too.
These "men" are a trip nowadays... I hope you aren't planning on seeing or talking to him again. If I were you I would just do my best to avoid him at work, too.
gabulldawg
Well-Known Member
Casually dating is the key to relationship happiness! I swear by it
ITA with you, and that's what I did until I was a senior in college. Then I met a guy and got serious with him after a few months of dating and getting to know him, thinking it would become serious. We dated for four years. You can't predict whether or not a relationship will work out.
SvelteVelvet
Well-Known Member
Touche` at the bolded. And thanks for the encouraging words. My faith is strong but I get discouraged at times when I think about it. But like you said, they all made it easier for me to recognize that special man when he comes along. 
Bunny77
New Member
I can totally agree with this.
I have no problem with casual dating IF it remains very casual until the man proves that he is interested in and ready for a relationship. Until a man steps up and does this, I don't consider him as a prospect and I just see the date as fun. In the past, I would try to give so many dudes "a chance" who should have just been 1-2 date wonders. And some don't even need to get a first date!
I think it all depends on one's definition of casual dating as well. Casual dating doesn't involve sex for me -- it's going out on a date with someone with no expectations beyond us having a good time, although my eyes and ears are open to see if he has potential for more.
What you're calling casual dating is what I consider friends with benefits... and yes, women by and large need to really let that go if they want something more.
Anyway, I feel ya... which is why I'm being very careful lbefore entering another relationship. The next man should be someone I see myself marrying.
~~HoneyComb~~
Well-Known Member
What didnt happen? Let me give you some background info-I'm 28-he's 40-We met at work/ Went on one date two weeks ago to a party so no money involved (It went well) and we went out last night. We both work for the school board and at work this man is professional, respectful, FINE as hell and seemed like a GREAT catch.
We decided to go to TGIF Fridays- he ordered an appertizer and he was like-lets just share this. I went along with it and was like ok cool. So finaly the check comes and this fool starts looking around.....so after it was CLEAR that he had no intention on paying the 19.00 dollar check I gave the waiter my cc. Like an ediot I forgot to activate that card after receiving it in the mail the day before so it was returned to me by the waiter. I offered to use another card and at this point with an attitude he says "Fine I will get my wallet from the car" Why is his wallet in his car?????? When he passes me going to his car he mumbles..."I should leave ur ***!
You have got to be kidding me
erplexed!!!!What a nightmare
Now I see your point, it's gonna take a minute to shake that date off.
1Aleeesha
New Member
If something were to happen to my husband for these reasons I would be single for life... I know quite a few people and have heard so many horror stories that I'm convinced that I was blessed for my first relationship to be my first marriage and it worked out for us. The way things look around me it seems like they are having a hard time finding a good man to settle down with. Some of my acquaintances fat, some not...Some good looking... Some not and they all face the same issues - not being able to get a good man.
Ms_Delikate
Well-Known Member
OMG...That is the one of the worse dates I have ever heard about...WOW...Just WOW!!..I am sorry O.P.
..I am sorry O.P.What didnt happen? Let me give you some background info-I'm 28-he's 40-We met at work/ Went on one date two weeks ago to a party so no money involved (It went well) and we went out last night. We both work for the school board and at work this man is professional, respectful, FINE as hell and seemed like a GREAT catch.
We decided to go to TGIF Fridays- he ordered an appertizer and he was like-lets just share this. I went along with it and was like ok cool. So finaly the check comes and this fool starts looking around.....so after it was CLEAR that he had no intention on paying the 19.00 dollar check I gave the waiter my cc. Like an ediot I forgot to activate that card after receiving it in the mail the day before so it was returned to me by the waiter. I offered to use another card and at this point with an attitude he says "Fine I will get my wallet from the car" Why is his wallet in his car?????? When he passes me going to his car he mumbles..."I should leave ur ***!
Ms_Delikate
Well-Known Member
Bunny77...You and I are >>>>>>here<<<<<<. I am dating for fun until someone pulls ahead of the pack and believe me. I am having fun...That friends with benefits thing.
.
MissNina
Libra Girl
ITA with you, and that's what I did until I was a senior in college. Then I met a guy and got serious with him after a few months of dating and getting to know him, thinking it would become serious. We dated for four years. You can't predict whether or not a relationship will work out.
Exactly. I feel you, girl. That is why you always keep your options open until it does
