Single father at a loss in dealing with daughter's natural hair

[Bublin]

So what is wrong with a salon???
It's a pick up line.

 

[silenttullip]

Yep give him youtube info and websites
If you decide to do her hair... It's simple... Pick up the girl if he trusts you enough and then do her hair... Take her home and call it a day.

 

[Eritreladiee]

Bring a couple of friends with you and maybe you could go to your church to do it. Churches usually have rooms that they use for classes so maybe you can invite them here. If he's crazy, I'm sure he wouldn't have the strength to to something bad in a church...

A church is a great suggestion actually-- only problem would've been that I'm Muslim No way I'd bring him to a mosque

I guess the part of this story that seems odd to me that he's going through all this trouble to get his daughter's hair ready for a dance. Well why didn't he ask for recommendations about a salon? And the part where he talks about losing inches where she went from WL to MBL - I don't know any men who would worry about that. It's not like all her hair came out so its almost like he's been reading hair board threads. Even if all his female relatives are relaxed, if this girl has so much hair, none of them have the savvy to pull her hair up in a simple bun or top knot? I don't know where you live but in my area it's still a bit too cold and windy to do hair in the park. Maybe offer to accompany him to a stylist so you can ask for things that he might not know about?

Well he did ask where I got my hair done, but I did it myself. Also asked where's a good place that could deal with her hair, but I told him that I couldn't recommend anything, because I honestly don't really use salons.

Since he is the one with the child he is taking a bigger risk of you being a creep than you are of him.

Anyway, I would refer him to some sources in town over internet.

The jargon on some of those sites, even the beginer ones are hard to follow.

I hear you, but at the end of the day, I'm a woman and he's a man.

You can't just recommend him to a salon or kitchen-tician who braids hair?

If you have to find a special public place to do this it's not worth it, this isn't a matter of life and death where you need to compromise your safety, we're just taking about a little girl needing her hair braided. It's hard for me to believe that a single black man doesn't have a few women lined up willing to do it for free (aunts, cousins, co-workers-, bright-eyed admirers, etc.).. just sayin.

Yes, I actually called the whole thing off. It's too complicated to deal with, and I don't wanna be out in public doing someones hair.

Listen to that little voice in your head. The little girl could be apart of his plan and he may do this all the time. I would not meet with him. If do choose to make sure he doesn't follow you home, know what kind of car you drive nor gains access to your license plate number. He could be a whack job. I'm sure he knows how to use the interet and can do some searches. He may not have women in his family because he could have killed them all. Girrrl follow your first mind. When he took the pic of you did he get a photo of your face or just the back of your head?

Yeah the pic he took was just of my hair, more of a side profile, but from a back angle. He even said that he'd be sure not to snap my face. Even showed me the pic right after.

OP did you get a bad feeling or not?

On the one hand be cautious, but on the other if you really feel you should help, then help. While I understand everyone being cautious, its sad that we are so on guard that we could not help someone who truely needs it.

Maybe he doesn't have any family in the area or ones that are willing to help. Not everyone has family where they are willing to really help you raise you child including things like doing hair :/

It really is sad, because I wish I didn't have to worry about all this extra stuff. But it is what it is.

-------
Anyway, thanks for the replies everyone. Just to let you guys know, I declined to help. I was leaning towards a no, because of safety, the extraness of doing hair in public, etc. But what confirmed it for me was his sending me a text during the day to wish me a happy women's day. It wasn't anything bad, but he was taking a step in the direction of getting comfortable, which I didn't like, so I replied with an apology for the short notice, and that I couldn't help out. He expressed his appreciation for the tips I did give him. Also, I decided that I won't be directing him to any sites, because I'm not up for the dialogue.

silenttullip- perhaps I'm paranoid, but there's no way in hell I'd ever take a child with me that I don't know

 

[Foxglove]

I'm sorry y'all but really? You would follow some random guy to God knows where to braid some girl's hair? That's how people end up on the news. It's good to be nice but you also need to be smart. People suggesting you bring a friend, I wouldn't put myself in a situation like that over a stranger, let along bring my friend into a position like that. We had to do the work to learn our own hair and it won't kill him to do the same. I would refer him to some websites, give him some product suggestions, but that's it. I wouldn't go anywhere public or not to braid his daughter's hair. They have salons that provide the same service

 

[Foxglove]

You can't just recommend him to a salon or kitchen-tician who braids hair?

If you have to find a special public place to do this it's not worth it, this isn't a matter of life and death where you need to compromise your safety, we're just taking about a little girl needing her hair braided. It's hard for me to believe that a single black man doesn't have a few women lined up willing to do it for free (aunts, cousins, co-workers-, bright-eyed admirers, etc.).. just sayin.

That's what I'm saying! Going to gym locker rooms, parks and ish over some stranger dude when there are many reputable salons that do the same thing

 

[wavezncurlz]

BTW:
There's a sticky thread of hair blog sites for kids on the kids hair board.

 

[WhoIAm]

Yeah, I say send him to a few websites. Beads, Braids and Beyond is a favorite of mine. Blessed Curly Girls is another I like. I don't even have kids and I read both blogs, lol.

And I'm paranoid about these kindsa things too but let me just warn you. A fashion blogger (Juanette...I would link you to the post but that would take a lot of digging) met a guy the same way (she's natural too) and they exchanged numbers. Randomly she happened to be telling her girlfriend about it and she was like "Omg, did he look like ____? And did he say ____?" Turns out this guy was using these lines to pick up women. He really did have a daughter, may have really even been single. Not at all saying you've run into their same dude but just letting you know that you aren't crazy to be cautious. There are some crazies out there!

That's exactly what I thought of when I read this. Eritreladiee, if you're in Dallas, RUN.

http://http://fashionnette-work.blogspot.com/2011/04/in-fashionistas-closet-dressing-in-dark.html

http://http://fashionnette-work.blogspot.com/2011/04/in-fashionistas-closet-long-and-short.html

Read between the pictures.

 

[natural2008]

Eritreladiee - wheeeee girl I'm glad u said no. I wouldn't even pick up his daughter and take her anywhere because y'all know kids remember everything and can tell you all every single last detail about stuff, lol. I'm soooo glad u declined :0).

 

[LunaGorgeous]

I'm glad you listened to that voice in you. No situation like that is worth all the potential dangers it brings. As far as having to worry about protecting one's self instead of helping a stranger? Unfortunately it IS necessary because the world IS that ugly. Doesn't mean that person is cold-hearted though. Sadly no one can/should have your own back better than you can/should.

 

[fairyhairy]

Who knows you might help save a sole as well as hair.

what's wrong their shoes? just messing, um yeah pickup line for sure, guys are getting rather inventive these days. Targeting the right audience with the right lines

 

[Shadiyah]

A church is a great suggestion actually-- only problem would've been that I'm Muslim No way I'd bring him to a mosque

Eritreladiee if you are muslim then the answer is very very easy. No you gave him all the information that he needed in the store. You know that you can not meet with that man. He should have ask you to talk to his daughter it is her that will be taking care of her hair and she is old enough to talk with you and she has mbl hair which means someone is taking care of it, I can not believe that she didn't open her mouth the whole time you were talking to him about hair.

 

[Shadiyah]

That's exactly what I thought of when I read this. Eritreladiee, if you're in Dallas, RUN.

http://http://fashionnette-work.blogspot.com/2011/04/in-fashionistas-closet-dressing-in-dark.html

http://http://fashionnette-work.blogspot.com/2011/04/in-fashionistas-closet-long-and-short.html

Read between the pictures.

Could not bring up the sites

 

[Eritreladiee]

@Eritreladiee if you are muslim then the answer is very very easy. No you gave him all the information that he needed in the store. You know that you can not meet with that man. He should have ask you to talk to his daughter it is her that will be taking care of her hair and she is old enough to talk with you and she has mbl hair which means someone is taking care of it, I can not believe that she didn't open her mouth the whole time you were talking to him about hair.

No worries, I'm not meeting with anyone

The little girl wasn't silent the whole time, she did tell me what products she uses, and quite a few other things...

As for her hair being long-- well, it looked like she acquired her length through extremely low manipulation hair styles.

 

[krissyhair]

This thread brings a lot of memories for me. I was once that unfortunate, matted waist length haired little girl and my dad was the single dad with no clue how to use a comb.

It's important for a young woman to have a female influence who REALLY cares about her and teaches her how to care for herself. For most of my childhood, I looked a HOT MESS with mismatched colored knockers, crooked parts, little boys clothing, a split chapped lip and hanes v neck shirts instead of a training bra.

It was years until I learned to take care of myself, and years before I had any good female friends to influence me. I was in high school when I discovered healthy hair care websites, and it wasn't until recently after I graduated college that I really began to feel feminine and learn to love and appreciate myself.

Because of that history, I know what I would do in that situation. I would make every effort to give a young girl anything she needs in order to feel more beautiful, cared for and respected, especially if her or her parent/guardian asked.

 

[ScorpioBeauty09]

I'd recommend the salon I go to to get my hair braided, twisted, straightened etc. (I actually have my braider come to my house but I wouldn't tell him that.) From there, the stylists can give him pointers on taking care of his daughter's hair.

 

[SuchaLady]

I know this is old but I probably would've done the girls hair. I must be too nice.

 

[Lilmama1011]

I know this is old but I probably would've done the girls hair. I must be too nice.

I would have too and showed him some simple styles to do and he work his self up to doing more advanced styles

 

[FelaShrine]

^where? in his house?

 

[TopShelf]

why couldn't he just take her to a salon and be done with it?

 

[greenandchic]

I know this is old but I probably would've done the girls hair. I must be too nice.

I would have too, LOL - Probably because its been about 20+ years since I've had a chance to do anyone's hair but mine.