********SIGH********** (kinda long)

[GodMadeMePretty]

Ladies, I don't know what to do. It's been over a year since my last relaxer. I have never figured out my hair type. I'm guessing it is about a 5. It doesn't fit neatly into ANY of the hair types. Anyway, I have two problems.

First, I'm lazy. Meaning, I don't want to do anything to my hair except wash it and put it into a ponytail. I don't want to take the time to blow dry my hair. And I don't want to take the hours that it would take to flat iron with my cheap ceramic plated flat iron. I don't want to go the extra effort to try to braid it and do a braid out because when I do, it looks pitiful which leads me to my next problem.

I am style challenged. Meaning, I have to keep my relaxed ends so that I can make a ponytail so I don't look crazy by the head.

So, I'm on the fence about whether I want to relax again or continue on this transitioning road. I have so MUCH hair. And it's DENSE. I feel like I have two heads of hair. And exercising is great for me but I certainly don't like having to rinse through my hair and having to detangle ALL this. Although I must say that the last conditioner wash and previous wash and conditioner were made much smoother with Suave coconut condition. Actually the addition of the Suave conditioner is what has me on the fence because I had decided to relax again. But the conditioner gave me hope.

I simply don't feel like doing my hair. Caring for my hair was effortless with the relaxer. I guess it is effortless now but it certainly looked a lot better then.

I don't even know what I'm saying. I just need my hair not to be so dang thick. If my strands were fine like my daughters, I would not be having this issue. But alas, it is not. I just needed to get that out. Thanks for listening.

Any suggestions are appreciated. I know I want another flat iron and am thinking about investing in one. Of course, that leads me to a third problem - I'm cheap.

 

[Sascha]

I don't have any suggestions but I just want you to know I understand. The only reasons that I'm hanging on to my relaxed ends is because if I couldn't easily put my hair back I would be one evil person

My hair is also very very thick. I'm determined to stay natural for at least 3 years so recently I have learned to flat twist and french braid. I am very style challenged so this is quite a feat. I have also been wearing 2 strand twists and styling and washing those. So I don't have to deal with my "out" hair every wash or rinse after working out. Ok, enough about me

I would think a long while before doing anything permanent but in the end just do what makes you happy

 

[UmSumayyah]

If I were you I'd get the relaxer. I'm super lazy about my hair as well (and have very thick hair too), and loved having it long. Half the reason I'm so mad about the stylist breaking off my hair is now I can't slap it into a bun and go--I have to make the effort to cornrow it.
I self-relax and even though it is the biggest pain, it's only once every 3 months and then its easy maintenance.
If you keep transitioning, which is certainly great (and you don't want to relax too fast and then regret it) I would go with low-maintenance styles like cornrows. Just get it cornrowed, or do it yourself every 2 weeks or so. Then you can daily rinse/condition wash as much as you want and keep your style. (great for workouts). In fact, why not do that for awhile while you give it some more thought.

 

[GodMadeMePretty]

Thanks, ladies. Sascha, I LOVE your twists. They are so thick. I've never seen anyone with twists so thick before so I always try to get mine to be thin like everybody else's so I KNOW that it would take hours if not days to do my entire head. I thought being thick would be ungly. But I LIKE those. I think it reminds of what we used to call dookie braids.

I also have this idea that I wouldn't look good with cornrows. You know with hair stuck down on my head. But I keep forgetting that it won't look any different (probably better) than me pulling my hair back to the nape of my neck with no ornamentation.

Are those twists or cornrows coming back into the ponytail. I'm going to have to try that although I can't part worth a flip. I like that style too. Glad to see someone else's flat twists that are as thick as mine. Because I have never seen any that thick, I never had the nerve to wear my thick ones out and it takes too long to do them any smaller.

 

[nurseN98]

Well first, ask yourself why were you transitioning in the first place and if that reason still holds. I transitioned because I realized I don't want a chemical sitting on my scalp that will burn me anymore..end of story. But if I was transitioning to give my hair a break or let it grow out, that would be a different story altogether.

Believe me, I'm where you are at now, I have 3-6 inches of new growth and 5-8 inches of relaxed hair (due to breakage mind you, I haven't had a chance to even trim cause it just breaks off) and all I do is put my hair either up with the ends out or in a bun... One thing is that I have learned that the technique of the braidout and what you put on it is important too....but I rarely do those.

In anycase, you gotta decide if this is for you! And be honest....don't transition because your friends or because you see women on the board doing it. And don't feel like you have to keep going because you told everyone you were transitioning then just be miserable all the time. You should be comfortable with your choice because it is YOUR hair on YOUR head.

So with that, my first suggestion would be to experiment with braidouts one more time before calling it quits....they can be really cute when you finally find your own method. Also remeber that the finished product (all natural hair) will probably be easier to care for than the two textures. But other than that, to be relaxed may fit better into your lifestyle right now and you can go natural some other time.

Whatever you choose, you know the LHCF will back you 100%

 

[YOTEGRA]

Good Luck to you in whatever you decide.

 

[luv04]

yeah good luck if u like low maint. maybe u should get a texturizer? good luck though.

 

[blackhair]

Im transitionning and I am all EARS for tips.. What makes it simple for me is that I have cornrows all the time and between them just a nice bun. But the detangling part can be really hell.I did not do the big shop because the lenght helps me in doing buns. I do not see myself in a big afro at work

. Yet

 

[Enchantmt]

You know I've only been transitioning a lil over 2 months but one thing that helps my new growth when nothing else will is this mango and lime stuff I bought on a whim a couple of months ago. Its designed for natural folx and folx who loc/twist.
You can see the products here http://www.rastagroup.com/

I have the leave in moisturizer and the Cactus Oil Serum.. (I think its the serum, I'm at work right now, if its not right I will update my post.)

They both make my new growth very soft and manageable. I purchashed them at a local bss for maybe 3.50 or 4.50 each. I plan on replacing these products. Lime is a natural deodorizer too. I was leary after I got home because the products seemed a lil watery, I thought they would make my growth bushier but they coat VERY well, with no buildup, are very moisturizing and makes my new growth blend in well. My hair just feels soft after using them. I havent tried any of the other products but after these two performed well I'm eager to try them. Good luck and feel better!! :0

 

[Ayeshia]

Hey GMMP

I am very lazy with my hair...seriously Ive never had a style yet. All I do is shake n go's becasue Im extrely lazy and I dont feel like experimenting. Are you willing to chop now or is that not an option for you? Im assuming that you have almost the same amount of growth I have, prolly more than me because Ive trimmed about three times since my BC

 

[miss_brown]

[ QUOTE ]
nurseN98 said:
Well first, ask yourself why were you transitioning in the first place and if that reason still holds. I transitioned because I realized I don't want a chemical sitting on my scalp that will burn me anymore..end of story. But if I was transitioning to give my hair a break or let it grow out, that would be a different story altogether.

Believe me, I'm where you are at now, I have 3-6 inches of new growth and 5-8 inches of relaxed hair (due to breakage mind you, I haven't had a chance to even trim cause it just breaks off) and all I do is put my hair either up with the ends out or in a bun... One thing is that I have learned that the technique of the braidout and what you put on it is important too....but I rarely do those.

In anycase, you gotta decide if this is for you! And be honest....don't transition because your friends or because you see women on the board doing it. And don't feel like you have to keep going because you told everyone you were transitioning then just be miserable all the time. You should be comfortable with your choice because it is YOUR hair on YOUR head.

So with that, my first suggestion would be to experiment with braidouts one more time before calling it quits....they can be really cute when you finally find your own method. Also remeber that the finished product (all natural hair) will probably be easier to care for than the two textures. But other than that, to be relaxed may fit better into your lifestyle right now and you can go natural some other time.

Whatever you choose, you know the LHCF will back you 100%

[/ QUOTE ]

Excellent advice

This is exactly what I was thinking. GMMP, your reasons for transitioning should guide your decision of whether to relax again. If natural hair is something you've really wanted to try, then I say stick it out for 6 more months (wearing your bun or braids or whatever) and then reevaluate.

I also think cutting off relaxed ends whenever the person is ready is important during the transition

Dealing with the two textures is the hardest part of transitioning. Once I got rid of those ends, dealing with my natural hair was MUCH easier. Good luck with whatever you do.

 

[Divastate]

I don't have any advice as far as what you should do- but before I did my big chop I was convinced my hair was 4b but it turned out that it wasn't. There's really no way of telling what your hair type will be until you've chopped and like MissBrown dealing with my natural hair was far easier than trying to deal with 2 textures. My natural hair has been far easier than my relaxed hair ever was and I am the ultimate in lazy- I can count the number of hairstyles I've done myself over my 3 years of being natural on 1 hand. Good luck!

 

[Innocent_Kiss]

Maybe it's not working out because you're treating your natural hair if it was relaxed? Natural hair won't 'act' like relaxed hair. Like everyone else stressed, do what's right for you.

 

[lovelymissyoli]

I’m also very styled challenged and I hear you on holding onto your relaxed ends until you are ready, so here is my two cents:

Find a style that you like and hold on to it. Since you love your ponytail spice it up with some curls or accessories. You have relaxed ends like I do so try putting perm rods on them and then pick it out into a nice fro or just rock the curls by themselves. If you don’t like that, try rollersetting for a straight look once in a while or to even tame your hair since you seem to have a lot of it. Since I have begun experimenting with my hair I’m finding what works and what doesn’t. Believe me my arms get tired but its well worth it for the sake of my hair. It does take a lot of time but once you find a style that works, that’s priceless

. If all else fails try braids: individuals of course, since you already have cornrows. Seeing as you said you don’t want to care for your hair you can put individual braids in any style you want or just pull them back and go on with your day.

Also, you say your hair is too thick. Well I have the same problem but a lot of the ladies on this board suggested that I style my hair when it’s wet or pull it back in the shower and given that you said you don’t want to blow dry it, this will cut that waste of time out. You mentioned using your flat iron and blow dryer, are you trying to cut out heat? If you are maybe you limit the use and find ways to style your hair without it. If you don’t you will become reliant on those tools and your hair will suffer in the long run.

You also mentioned that you want to relax again. Why did you stop? What are your reasons for transitioning? Do you think that if you relax you’ll start to style your hair or are you going to have the same problems again?

Whatever you decide to do think about it first but I hope you find a solution. HTH

 

[GodMadeMePretty]

Thanks, ladies.

I kinda fell into transitioning. At first, it was just a stretching to 4 months, then to 6. At 6 months, I realized that I really like my natural hair. It's soft and all. I've been natural before back when pressing was really the only *in* thing to do (1990 or so). I just sometimes wish it were less thick, less dense. I want to easily maneuver it to an off the nape pony, but I have to work entirely tooooo hard for that. Like Sascha said.

I love my daughter's natural hair. I love the BLACKNESS of my natural hair. That's why I'm transitioning. I WANT natural hair. I just don't want to HAVE to deal with it. I think it's the two textures. They don't like each other. And I'm ashamed of my relaxed ends. They look anorexic against my roots. But I'm too afraid to chop it off. I'm not ready for dealing with short hair. I've never had really short hair and with shrinkage, that's what I will have. I've had my hair cut to about 6 inches (a scissor happy stylist's version of a trim

who also in the same visit RUINED my scalp) but it was relaxed. I haven't used heat since the first week in July and that was a total waste of time. Cheap tools will keep me frustrated.

I'm going to steal one of Sascha's ideas and WORK my hair up into a high ponytail and put some rods in it. I think I can do that. I think some of my problem is that I have NO hair accessories that will handle my hair the way I want it to. So, I'm off to get some brastrap headbands and some scarves. If I had some of those, I'd be more comfortable wearing my hair out more no matter how it really looked. At least the hair accessory will distract people from the homeliness of the style.

I'll at least FEEL that my hair is pretty even when it's not styled to my liking.

Thanks to all for the suggestions.