Should this be a deal breaker?

[determineddiva]

Ok ladies,

Someone from H.S ( which btw has been 20 yrs ago ) contacted me asking me if they could take me out. I agreed and the things have been developing every since. The problem is that he has called saying he was coming over 3 times and didnt. He did call and keep me aware of what was going on and why he couldnt come. One of the reasons was because he had his daughter. The mom was supposed to pick her up, but because it was snowing and slippery out she asked if he could bring her. After that he went home because he has to be at work at 2:30 a.m. The reasons arent far fetched, but I remember dealing with this in past relationship. Should I back off? Walk away or just hang in there?
What are your thoughts?

 

[ThickHair]

Nah, but I would watch the excuses and it he always has one then I would bounce. Just remember if you decide to get serious, it won't stop. Enjoy dating for now.

 

[LadyLeoSmile]

I don't think this should be a deal breaker, unless you just can't handle it. I don't think I can be the one to tell you what you can and can't deal with, only you know that. if the excuses and broken dates are things you can't deal with then you know it should be a done deal, if not then I say stick it out and see where it goes.

 

[Detroit2Dallas]

Well three times in a row he hasnt shown up? I would put my attention elsewhere. So you havent seen him at all since he called? Has this been a phone relationship?

 

[Taliah]

What does "coming over" mean? Coming over to take you out or coming over to hang out at your place?

 

[Rastafarai]

Ok ladies,

Someone from H.S ( which btw has been 20 yrs ago ) contacted me asking me if they could take me out. I agreed and the things have been developing every since. The problem is that he has called saying he was coming over 3 times and didnt. He did call and keep me aware of what was going on and why he couldnt come. One of the reasons was because he had his daughter. The mom was supposed to pick her up, but because it was snowing and slippery out she asked if he could bring her. After that he went home because he has to be at work at 2:30 a.m. The reasons arent far fetched, but I remember dealing with this in past relationship. Should I back off? Walk away or just hang in there?
What are your thoughts?

perplexedperplexederplexed

Not once. Not twice. But three times? AND he did not know he had to be at work for 2:30am the next morning BEFORE making plans with you? AND he has baggage?

Keep. It. Moving.

 

[antisocial]

For me, yes it would be a deal breaker. Three times something just came up?.......

A lot of times when men have these "scheduling conflicts" it's because they already have a wife/girlfriend.

He also gets the side eye for trying to make house dates

 

[JustKiya]

For me, it would be a deal-breaker , but then, I have some trust issues, and repeatedly disappointing me is not the business.

 

[sidney]

For me, yes it would be a deal breaker. Three times something just came up?.......

A lot of times when men have these "scheduling conflicts" it's because they already have a wife/girlfriend.

He also gets the side eye for trying to make house dates

This. When something "comes up" it just may be another woman.erplexed

 

[MD_Lady]

IMO, it depends on what the other 2 reasons are. Things do "come up" when children are in the picture (a main reason why people without children don't want to date someone who has them) so you have to understand that this will most likely continue. Only you can determine the number and nature of unscheduled changes in plans you are truly cool with.

 

[kbragg]

Something about this whole situation screams double life to me

 

[gabulldawg]

Ok ladies,

Someone from H.S ( which btw has been 20 yrs ago ) contacted me asking me if they could take me out. I agreed and the things have been developing every since. The problem is that he has called saying he was coming over 3 times and didnt. He did call and keep me aware of what was going on and why he couldnt come. One of the reasons was because he had his daughter. The mom was supposed to pick her up, but because it was snowing and slippery out she asked if he could bring her. After that he went home because he has to be at work at 2:30 a.m. The reasons arent far fetched, but I remember dealing with this in past relationship. Should I back off? Walk away or just hang in there?
What are your thoughts?

I also say DEALBREAKER. I absolutely HATE people who can't keep their word. That's never a good sign IMO.

I can't help but flashback to my sorry arse ex. Once he started pulling this crap it never stopped. When I had enough I finally called it quits.

 

[Peabody1]

For me it would probably be a deal breaker too. I think you have to go with your gut feeling though. Trust your intuition because we always know (admitting it to ourselves is another thing). I think when a man is interested in being serious he will make the time and find the time.

 

[Zaynab]

Something about this whole situation screams double life to me

Umm yeah. I think he has a wife or live -in or something.

OP Just keep checking it out. I don't like fickle people though so it would be hard for me to keep talking to him

 

[Covergirl5906]

deal breaker!!!!! he could have a woman like others have said...even if he doesn't and the reasons are legitamate...I feel like this: holla at me when you straighten out your stuff, so that so many "things" won't come up...I don't have time for things like this...

 

[determineddiva]

I just want to say thanks to everyone for you advice. I have decided to just move on! I have children but mine are 19yrs and 21yrs. I know that things come up but three times is too many for me. I'm feeling like there is someone else that he hasnt completely let go of, so yes this one is a deal breaker. Once again thanks everyone

 

[determineddiva]

Something about this whole situation screams double life to me

I agree with you ! and at our age no time for games.

 

[determineddiva]

I also say DEALBREAKER. I absolutely HATE people who can't keep their word. That's never a good sign IMO.

I can't help but flashback to my sorry arse ex. Once he started pulling this crap it never stopped. When I had enough I finally called it quits.

I agree with you my ex used to do the same thing. I thought i was just going off my past but I have decided that I will not put up with excuses, hell plain old lies