Should Our Goal be a White Picket Fence?

[SND411]

I sometimes hear Christians talk about their dream home, perfect family, and goal to have an overall "comfortable" life. But how is that possible if we are:

(1) In emnity with the world
(2) Strangers in the world

Can someone give some insight? Sorry if this topic has been talked about ad naseum.

 

[Poohbear]

I've wondered about this same subject as well before. I would like some insight on it as well. Should we strive for the "American Dream" while carrying out the "Great Commission"? Or does striving for the "American Dream" distract us or make us lose sight of glorifying God wholeheartedly?

 

[Bunny77]

I think that one can strive to live happily and still be dutiful to God... that being said, this doesn't mean that you need to have a McMansion, McBenz and a perfectly groomed husband/kids to do that.

Some of the happies, healthiest and emotionally rich families I've seen live on a farm and live off the land. They are "comfortable" in the fact that they are content -- yes, they have their financial ups and downs (like a bad crop season), but they get through those times, because such is life.

I don't think God wants us to suffer, but God doesn't need to give us expensive goods to give us this so-called comfortable life either.

 

[loolalooh]

I've had similar questions as well and don't really have an answer. I'll try to give my 2 cents though.

I don't think owning a "dream" home clashes with being in enmity or strangers of the world. Owning a 7-bedroom 6-car garage mansion while people are starving is another story, but owning a simple home is fine. I don't think God would frown upon that.

As for the "perfect" family, again, I don't think this desire clashes with our roles as Christians. God desires us (Christians) to be in community with each other. If I desire to marry a God-fearing man and raise God-fearing children (which is the perfect family for me), I don't think He would frown upon that. I think the issue comes in other areas, such as desiring a husband/family to cure low self-esteem or emptiness.

With that being said, the problem may lie in the definition of "dream" (as in dream home), "perfect" (as in perfect family), and "comfortable" (as in comfortable life). These definitions are subjective and I truly feel that genuine mature Christians have a definition that aligns with God's will. The closer believers are to God, the less they desire things of this world. To them pure joy and comfort is found in relationship with God and not in things of this world. Additionally, God blessing them with the commonly held view of the American Dream is just a bonus and not a requirement for them to feel "comfortable".

 

[Prudent1]

I'll take a stab at it Afriprincess411.
You will hear me say over and over again, "A believer must regularly and frequently check his or her heart and know what is motivating them. That makes all the difference in the world! That said, we all have the same basic neccessities. Food, clothes, and shelter. Even though we are strangers and only passing through. We need those things for survival. Matt 6:8"...for your Father knows what you need before you ask him."
The other stuff is extra and simply b/c God is kind.
Psa 35:27
"...Let the LORD be magnified, which hath pleasure in the prosperity of his servant."
We are to constantly imitate Christ's actions, thoughts, behaviors, etc to the best of our ability knowing that the definition of striving will be custom.
Eph 1:5 Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children.
When our heart's motives are right, God can work through us. God puts his super on our natural and blessings start to manifest in a tangible way. God, the ultimate definition of creative, has customized each individual's journey. God who owns all and made all, made some extremely nice things. Heaven is comprised of only the best of the best. He put things here for his children to enjoy not for those who reject him to enjoy.
The average western believer has a poverty mindset where barely making ends meet equates to holiness. That is a huge misconception. Why would God our Father make precious gems or give man the knowledge needed to build and decorate nice homes and cars only to have his kids stand by and watch unbeliever's enjoy comfort while they go lacking?
Matt 7:9-11
9"Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? 10Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? 11If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!
What type of woman intentionally picks a husband knowing all along he won't work, is lazy, selfish, doesn't love her, and hates kids? A marriage is yet another relationship God created to help us understand his relationship to us. A good husband is a prophet, priest of the home, provider, and protector of his wife and kids. He is a type of little god over his responsibilities to his family.
It is ok to have nice things but it will never be acceptable for our things to own us. Anything you cannot imagine continuing to live w/o needs to be carefully considered. I have some very nice things. I was listing them as part of completing an insurance audit recently. The agent was amazed that I gave no special priority to any one thing over another. My stuff does not move me. It does not define me or give me my self worth. I am who God says I am. I have not always been this way. God has redirected my focus. Caused my mind to be renewed. I could not be the person I am w/o him.
It speaks volumes for God's ppl to live good, drive good, and eat good. Just as God related to farmers using farm examples, some of his creation understand and will listen to someone they perceive as having obtained a certain standard of living. It should all be a reflection of God's goodness and glory. Everything we do should further the Kingdom's agenda. I cannot give shelter to someone who needs it if my living quarters are barely able to accommodate me. I cannot be believable when I speak of the goodness and mercy of God in certain venues while wearing tattered clothing and appearing generally dishelveled. I cannot visit anyone in the hospital, meet them for one on one prayer, or take them to church, doctor's visits, to work, etc if my car is constantly breaking down or I have no money for cab fare, or monthly passes for mass transit etc. There are many ways God receives glory but some of them involve him showing favor to us and manifested blessings in the form of material things.
Once again, God looks inward to a person's very core.
1 Sam 16:7 But the LORD said to Samuel, "Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart."
He knows who can handle riches and wealth. Not everyone can. We have to make sure that while we are living our 'comfortable life' we do not disconnect from God's agenda and forget to be about his business (our calling) whatever that is for each of us.
I get where your thoughts are coming from. Point blank too many Christians are doing the same thing the children of Israel did. There is nothing new under the sun. When things are going our way, we forget God. The after effect is that we end up imitating those around us we should be different from. Then we have no witness or an anemic witness b/c we are doing/ living the same way they are except we put our time in at church to get our weekly 'feel good' fix. IOW, everything should point back to the Father. Everything including our comfortable (but never complacent) lives should shout "God did this for me and he can do it for you too!"
There are many examples of wealthy ppl who did good and advanced the kingdom with the wealth God allowed them to stewart or manage during their lives. Abraham, Job, Jacob, Solomon, David, the list goes on. All reflections of God the father. Great question.

Our goal should not be the picket fence. Our goal should be to develop a relationship with God where we ask and allow him to clearly show us what his goal(s) for us are. For some it will be the white picket fence. For some it will be evangelism etc. Then we should get busy yielding, praying, fasting, renewing, changing, reflecting, praising, and doing His will for our lives.

 

[Prudent1]

Totally OT:
Yay Bunny77!! I just saw your siggie! Congrats!

 

[Guitarhero]

Abraham was very wealthy and God continued to bless him so that he could bless others. But Abraham put God first. If one does the same, I see no reason not to desire to have a good home, loving family, higher education and all wonderful things that God either directly created from nothingness or allowed to be formed through our efforts. Of course, the goal should not be wealth but a spiritual relationship with God.

 

[Laela]

Pooh, that's a good question ...we should strive only to be more like Jesus.

Matthew 6:33 says:
But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.

These "things" are what God blesses us with -- good health, good relationships with others and even material wealth. He blesses us so that we can be a blessing to others. But as his children, he also takes care of our needs. I don't believe God will frown on me wanting a bigger place to accommodate a growing family, i.e., from an apartment to a house. He certainly won't be pleased if I want a big house with upgrades, that I can't afford, to show off in.
Material wealth and matters of the heart are not interdependent:

Joseph of Arimathea was wealthy; because he obeyed God, he was able to give Jesus a proper burial.

Ananias and Sapphira were wealthy; because of their greed and disobedience, they didn't live to see the money they were trying to steal from God!

I've wondered about this same subject as well before. I would like some insight on it as well. Should we strive for the "American Dream" while carrying out the "Great Commission"? Or does striving for the "American Dream" distract us or make us lose sight of glorifying God wholeheartedly?

 

[SND411]

I think that one can strive to live happily and still be dutiful to God... that being said, this doesn't mean that you need to have a McMansion, McBenz and a perfectly groomed husband/kids to do that.

Some of the happies, healthiest and emotionally rich families I've seen live on a farm and live off the land. They are "comfortable" in the fact that they are content -- yes, they have their financial ups and downs (like a bad crop season), but they get through those times, because such is life.

I don't think God wants us to suffer, but God doesn't need to give us expensive goods to give us this so-called comfortable life either.

But didn't Jesus say that if we to call ourselves His servants, we must suffer in this world?

 

[Prudent1]

Abraham was very wealthy and God continued to bless him so that he could bless others. But Abraham put God first. If one does the same, I see no reason not to desire to have a good home, loving family, higher education and all wonderful things that God either directly created from nothingness or allowed to be formed through our efforts. Of course, the goal should not be wealth but a spiritual relationship with God.

Amen Natchitoches!!

Pooh, that's a good question ...we should strive only to be more like Jesus.

Matthew 6:33 says:
But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.

These "things" are what God blesses us with -- good health, good relationships with others and even material wealth. He blesses us so that we can be a blessing to others. But as his children, he also takes care of our needs. I don't believe God will frown on me wanting a bigger place to accommodate a growing family, i.e., from an apartment to a house. He certainly won't be pleased if I want a big house with upgrades, that I can't afford, to show off in.
Material wealth and matters of the heart are not interdependent:

Joseph of Arimathea was wealthy; because he obeyed God, he was able to give Jesus a proper burial.

Ananias and Sapphira were wealthy; because of their greed and disobedience, they didn't live to see the money they were trying to steal from God!

Say on Laela!

 

[SND411]

I guess I'm asking this because a couple months ago, I visited Christians in Guatemala. One of the girls I met is in prison for 50 years for a crime she did not commit (she was falsely accused by a family in her own church of homicide, all the while she was singing in the choir at the time of the murder). She is in prison, but she has been a good witness to people. I saw so much testimony over there I could weep. Life is far from easy for the people I saw as true Christians (one of the pastors had his son killed by people he knew. but refused to turn them in and forgave them).

I guess I'm wondering why God supposedly grants a more comfortable life on average for Christians in the United States, but not in other areas of the world? Is this a coincidence?

 

[SND411]

Our goal should not be the picket fence. Our goal should be to develop a relationship with God where we ask and allow him to clearly show us what his goal(s) for us are. For some it will be the white picket fence. For some it will be evangelism etc. Then we should get busy yielding, praying, fasting, renewing, changing, reflecting, praising, and doing His will for our lives.

I loved your response, but let's be honest. Do we really believe most Christians who dream about their ideal house, car, etc, really desire these things to further the Kingdom of God? I feel it has more to do with society telling us we should want these things. Perhaps I'm wrong. But often when your lives are comfortable, you will find more complatency in your walk.

 

[SND411]

Pooh, that's a good question ...we should strive only to be more like Jesus.

Matthew 6:33 says:
But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.

These "things" are what God blesses us with -- good health, good relationships with others and even material wealth. He blesses us so that we can be a blessing to others. But as his children, he also takes care of our needs. I don't believe God will frown on me wanting a bigger place to accommodate a growing family, i.e., from an apartment to a house. He certainly won't be pleased if I want a big house with upgrades, that I can't afford, to show off in.
Material wealth and matters of the heart are not interdependent:

Joseph of Arimathea was wealthy; because he obeyed God, he was able to give Jesus a proper burial.

Ananias and Sapphira were wealthy; because of their greed and disobedience, they didn't live to see the money they were trying to steal from God!

Joseph of Arimathea was wealthy, but his life was probably far from comfortable. His own life was on the line as a follower of Jesus!

 

[nathansgirl1908]

I loved your response, but let's be honest. Do we really believe most Christians who dream about their ideal house, car, etc, really desire these things to further the Kingdom of God? I feel it has more to do with society telling us we should want these things. Perhaps I'm wrong. But often when your lives are comfortable, you will find more complatency in your walk.

I don't think those things further the kingdom, but the money that is necessary to buy them certainly can further the kingdom.

I have no problem with desiring to have those nice things. I desire the wealth necessary to have those things. However, I also desire to use that wealth in a way that does serve the interests of the kingdom. I don't think the two have to be mutually exclusive.

 

[Bunny77]

But didn't Jesus say that if we to call ourselves His servants, we must suffer in this world?

I see that as a different type of suffering than from what I'm talking about.

For example, if one has a skill that was learned through education, practice, training, and that skill can provide a comfortable living for that person and possibly his/her family, then I don't think God would say, "Nope, you can't do that. You have to be poor and struggle and barely be able to put food on the table."

I'm thinking mostly of some poorer people I know whose poor choices have put them in a situation of struggle, yet they say it's God's will.


I think your example of the Guatemalan prisoners is totally different from what I meant about God not wanting his children to suffer. If one is working for His glory and suffers in the process, that's a different situation from the above.

 

[Laela]

Your statement only underscores what I'm saying. Wealth doesn't equate to comfort; it is only the Holy Spirit who brings true comfort - from Satanic attacks to the body, persecution, heartache, hurt and pain from those who reject Jesus. This is the "suffering" followers of Christ must endure.

Again, it's a matter of the heart concerning wealth. Ananias and his wife were members of the Early Church, followers of Jesus' teachings; but they loved their wealth more than they loved God and were punished for it.

Joseph of Arimathea was wealthy, but his life was probably far from comfortable. His own life was on the line as a follower of Jesus!

 

[Prudent1]

I loved your response, but let's be honest. Do we really believe most Christians who dream about their ideal house, car, etc, really desire these things to further the Kingdom of God? I feel it has more to do with society telling us we should want these things. Perhaps I'm wrong. But often when your lives are comfortable, you will find more complatency in your walk.

ITA-I'll be bluntly honest. Sadly many Christians are complacent and go on cruise control. You know God bless me, my family, and the rest of y'all can go get your own( I actually was visiting a church when a prominent member said that when a question very similar to yours was posed). Most ppl do not desire those things to further the Kingdom for a variety of reasons. One of them could be ignorance. Another could be selfishness. What if God asked me to sell/ donate 'x' and give proceeds to a certain ministry or someone I don't like? At one point I did not understand the concept of being blessed to be a blessing b/c no one taught me that growing up and I was not seeking any info/input from God at the time. It can and does often have something to do with what society says.
Here is some other stuff western society says:
-everybody should have 1.5 kids and no more cause that's being educated and not overpopulating the planet and all
-get on BC at 12 (cause you know kids are going to be kids and all civilized ppl do it)
-travel the world sowing wild oats for 5.09 years(= fun) before resigning to the dreaded marriage(= not fun)
-not dare get married while college aged
-black girls can't have their own long hair
-there are yt hair products and AA hair products period
-everyone should be open minded unless they are disagreeing~ then whoever yells the loudest or deviates off topic the most and comes up w/ the most derogatory comments is right (What, it works in DC.)
-become a Christian no earlier than 58 so God won't stop you from having fun (killjoy that he is) and other misc stuff that no one pauses to consider who told us such and such. :scratchch :heated: We must constantly think about what we are thinking about and weigh where that info came from!
Now, I'm being a little facetious but you get my point. A person must check their motives and ask questions like the ones that get asked here in the CF. They should make sure they seek God first and then diligently implement his plan. In the end there is no one size fits all for life journeys but we should all arrive at the same destination after living a life of obedience to him. It's up to us how far we go with this thing. Some will make it into the kingdom as if escaping from a fire. Remember the parable of the sower nad the talents. Some will produce different yields even though all started out on the same playing field. I just got to allow God to keep me in check so when I am giving my account I don't get the eternal side-eye:burning:.