Should I mention this in my personals ad?

Should I mention "Ivy Leaguer" in my online dating ad?

  • Yes - just get it out of the way

    Votes: 7 21.2%

  • No - it's a turn-off

    Votes: 26 78.8%
  • Total voters
    33
  • Poll closed .
Glib Gurl

Glib Gurl

Well-Known Member
Yes, I'm already plotting my next move to find My Man :grin: I figure it will take my mind off of dwelling on Dutch Chocolate (who actually left me a message earlier this evening wanting to go out to dinner :spinning:). Anyways, I have a couple of dealbreakers, but they're not dealbreakers for ME . . . but moreso for men. For instance, I find that guys are cool until they find out that I'm uber-educated . . . like, for real, it shuts things down! So I'm wondering if I should just put "Ivy Leaguer" or something like that in my description to just get it out of the way? Or would that keep people from even reaching out initially?

Thoughts?

P.S. - I have already decided that I do have to put that other dealbreaker - my weight - out there early on. So, I will include a full body shot among my pictures. No point in beating around the bush.
 
I would so that the lames can keep it moving.Those who have balls will step.You will still get some slutbuckets who will try but they won't last long.Be weary of those who try to tell you that education doesn't matter esp if they don't have any.. and Go Glib..I hope to be in this situation next year trying to date and such
 
I wouldn't put Ivy League. I would just put the name of the school and the degree you got from there. But don't try to make it more than it is. Oh, and don't put all your eggs in one basket (ex. personal ads/online dating kinds of things). :)
 
Glib- I am so sorry about you and Dutch! Sorry I can't help with the personal add, I wouldn't even know where to begin.
 
I hate online dating. Don't give up on just meeting someone. You're beautiful Glib. I think you're so kute in your pics on fbook. But I know that doesn't matter. Well it doesn't to me unless you have an XY chromosome. Some girls in my class the other day told me how I had such a nice figure....I said thanx but I was just thinkin....maybe I'm only attractive to women.....

BUT back to online dating. Maybe it's just my age group but I hate it. I stopped talking to everyone since my life has been in disarray lately. I hate all men. :grin: I'm just saying. :look: This will pass but for now.... men are despondent, inconsiderate pricks that are put on this earth to screw things up. But it was one guy that had sort of sparked my interest. I met him on Okcupid.

Well we've been talking for a month and he has yet to take me out on a date except the time he cooked for me at his apartment. THEN he tells me that since I seem so stressed out with school lately I need some d***. I'm like....excuse me, I don't need to do anything but stay black and die, but honestly sexual activities are not "needs", and like I said before I'm not the type of girl to taste test. I give my body freely in due time to a man I'm in a long-lived committed relationship with and not before.

He texts me back: Well for me I think you need sex because I'm still workin on myself as a person for my last relationship into marriage. But at the same time I don't wanna deny myself intimacy with someone who I trust and am attracted to. That's just me.

I'm like: If you trust and are attracted to someone, then why just be f buddies. Why not explore them wholeheartedly and mentally and then reach other realms after an initial foundation has been built.

He said: A person may not be compatible with them relationship wise and that would defeat the purpose.

HUH?! So basically you're tellin me the girls you *** that you're not in a relationship you are not compatible with relationship-wise but you're looking for a relationship (last relationship that leads to marriage) so if we engaged in sex we would BOTH be wasting our time. See what I mean? Men are dumb.

Guys MY AGE (22-26) online think of dating services as a free booty call. I no likey at all. If i ever did online dating again it would be somewhere that you had to pay. Maybe it would weed out the d*ckheads
 
I would, so you don't get the dumb arses.

Sorry to hear about you and DC....real sorry. Don't jump in that pond too quickly, lest you compare all future mates to DC. Never a good way to start a romance.
 
Girl so sorry things ended. I have to say though, this is one of the reasons I'm not religious. Often divides more than unites in my opinion.

Anyway to the question. I would not go into great detail about your degree or Ivy League education. Rather I would describe yourself...something like lawyer who enjoys intellectual engagement. When folks lead with their Ivy credentials it's a big turn off to me even though I went to an Ivy equivalent school. I agree with putting in a full body shot.
 
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ambergirl said:
Girl so sorry things ended. I have to say though, this is one of the reasons I'm not religious. Often divides more than unites in my opinion.

Anyway to the question. I would not go into great detail about your degree or Ivy League education. Rather I would describe yourself...something like lawyer who enjoys intellectual engagement. When folks lead with their Ivy credentials it's a big turn off to me even though I went to an Ivy equivalent school. I agree with putting in a full body shot.
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Ooh I like that. I agree. I get turned off by that too. A dude came up to me when I was in DC and was like, "Hi. My name is XYZ and I'm a Morehouse Man." Umm...wtf that's supposed to mean to me? Want a cookie? Another just last month was like...I'm went Harvard the best college in the world. Shows how much you know. CAMBRIDGE is the best college for science (in my opinion). Go sit down. SO!? I could care less if you are Ivy Leagued or not. It's dumb Ivy Leaguers. I would rather know your hobbies, interest, and profession. Then I can see YOU as a person...not dumb credentials.
 
you should put down something about being an ivy leaguer or your education. if men are scared by it, good! it just helps to weed out the ones who are intimidated by intelligence and beauty! a real man won't be intimidated by your education.... a real (and smart) man will admire that about you.

i am super anti when it comes to online dating. i refuse to give them another red cent. but good luck to you and i am glad that you are already getting yourself prepped to meet the guy who's right for you. gotta keep moving! :)
 
I say put it out there. It's a part of who you are. No need to hide it or lead with it. Just share the fact along with other interesting information. Good luck Glib!
 
SimpleKomplexity said:
Ooh I like that. I agree. I get turned off by that too. A dude came up to me when I was in DC and was like, "Hi. My name is XYZ and I'm a Morehouse Man." Umm...wtf that's supposed to mean to me? Want a cookie? Another just last month was like...I'm went Harvard the best college in the world. Shows how much you know. CAMBRIDGE is the best college for science (in my opinion). Go sit down. SO!? I could care less if you are Ivy Leagued or not. It's dumb Ivy Leaguers. I would rather know your hobbies, interest, and profession. Then I can see YOU as a person...not dumb credentials.
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@ first bolded

A guy approached me with a line similar to that recently. After he finished I said "oh, my husband graduated from there. I'm married but even when I was single I was never into fraternity boys. I was just never that cool".

@ second bolded

That would have been a better approach though I was still not interested. And don't believe I would have been if I were single. His approach was just wrong. When we walked off I told my daughter to stay away from guys like that. If they think they're cuter than you, that's a problem.
 
SimpleKomplexity said:
I hate online dating. Don't give up on just meeting someone. You're beautiful Glib. I think you're so kute in your pics on fbook. But I know that doesn't matter. Well it doesn't to me unless you have an XY chromosome. Some girls in my class the other day told me how I had such a nice figure....I said thanx but I was just thinkin....maybe I'm only attractive to women.....

BUT back to online dating. Maybe it's just my age group but I hate it. I stopped talking to everyone since my life has been in disarray lately. I hate all men. :grin: I'm just saying. :look: This will pass but for now.... men are despondent, inconsiderate pricks that are put on this earth to screw things up. But it was one guy that had sort of sparked my interest. I met him on Okcupid.

Well we've been talking for a month and he has yet to take me out on a date except the time he cooked for me at his apartment. THEN he tells me that since I seem so stressed out with school lately I need some d***. I'm like....excuse me, I don't need to do anything but stay black and die, but honestly sexual activities are not "needs", and like I said before I'm not the type of girl to taste test. I give my body freely in due time to a man I'm in a long-lived committed relationship with and not before.

He texts me back: Well for me I think you need sex because I'm still workin on myself as a person for my last relationship into marriage. But at the same time I don't wanna deny myself intimacy with someone who I trust and am attracted to. That's just me.

I'm like: If you trust and are attracted to someone, then why just be f buddies. Why not explore them wholeheartedly and mentally and then reach other realms after an initial foundation has been built.

He said: A person may not be compatible with them relationship wise and that would defeat the purpose.

HUH?! So basically you're tellin me the girls you *** that you're not in a relationship you are not compatible with relationship-wise but you're looking for a relationship (last relationship that leads to marriage) so if we engaged in sex we would BOTH be wasting our time. See what I mean? Men are dumb.

Guys MY AGE (22-26) online think of dating services as a free booty call. I no likey at all. If i ever did online dating again it would be somewhere that you had to pay. Maybe it would weed out the d*ckheads
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:drunk: :drunk: :drunk:

I hate men, too . . . see my latest blog post . . . .
 
Glib, I wrote on your blog...I'm so lazy to go finding it again lol...but I hope that was helpful info. Whatever your choice, you know you have a sound mind and you'll get the right one one day...may it be soon!

I'd put that I had an Ivy League education to weed out the freaks. It still might attract diff. kinds, tho.:look: Men are strange. But you don't want resentful folks who will string you along only to issue to stealth blow later on...just because they are jealous and wanna see you put down.

Oh, online dating....the things you go through. I have horror stories...absolute horror stories! Not for public eyes..tho.
 
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No I wouldn't put that. You can put that you're cerebral, like intellectual stimulation, read a lot, are looking for someone whose mind yours can spark with... lots of other things that make it clear.

"Ivy Leaguer" seems ostentatious, but most importantly, it's just a label that does not give much information about who you are.
 
Honestly Glib, I don't see any reason to put that out there. If they want to get freaked out by it, let them weed their own selves out. Going to an ivy-league school is not what defines you. You're not a warm, caring, compassionate and intelligent woman just because you went to an ivy (in fact, one could argue that you're those things in spite of going to an ivy-league school :giggle:). Personally I wouldn't put it in. There's no need to hide it if it comes up in the conversation but let it come up on its own, organically. Yeah, you might weed out the freaks, but you might also weed out the folks who feel it best to be humble and on the low about their accomplishments. :ohwell:
 
I went to an Ivy and I've gotta agree with naija. It's really not that deep and men who have an issue with it will weed themselves out another way. It's one thing if the application asks for level of education and let's you put your school (in the section where it lists your stats). It's another thing for you to write about it in your About Me section. It seems a bit pretentious. There are ways to let it be known you're smart without throwing out the IL moniker.
 
Some advice from an old married lady.

I'd say define your self as an Ivy Leaguer only if that is a major part of your identity. Otherwise, it comes off as self-important and a turn-off to a lot of smart people. For me, IL identity stopped being a significant part of me somewhere around Freshman year but I know there are people in 70's who still define themselves by where they went to college. Instead, I'd recommend highlighting the cerebral things you like to do that may be intimidating to someone who has less or different formal education (e.g., "I read The Economist cover to cover every week and you should too."; "Looking for someone who enjoys wines and spirits and knows his Armagnacs."; "I like art house films and The Red Balloon made me cry.") and showing your smarts rather than just asserting them.

Good luck.
 
I wouldn't put that. It'll come out after the first few exchanges and definitely in the first convo. For me, I would be concerned that it would make me appear arrogant. How they act when they find out will clue you in. Otherwise, if they're educated and confident it won't matter one way or the other to them. Funny, my bf figured out i went to an ivy just because of my "profession" (grad student) and the city in which I live (Cambridge, MA). He actually considered it a plus.
 
I actually didn't mention the degree I'm pursuing or the school from which I'm getting it until he asks. He'll knows before you even move beyond email exchanges so there is not need to put it out there. My bf actually guessed based on my profession "grad student" and the city in which I live (cambridge, ma). He considered a plus, mentioned he'd visited and we kept it moving. you don't want to seem arrogant by saying that b/c it might turn off even men who are educated but down to earth and want a woman who isn't defined by a school/career but down to earth as well.
 
Sorry to hear about you and Dutch. Hoping that the future brings you a man that deserves you and cherishes you.
 
Hey, sorry about DC Glib. Don't they have Ivy alum mixers - for grads only in the area?

Anywho. Online dating the second go around was a real turn off but I would put more indirect references in your profile. Otherwise you will get a lot of challenge responses- people with no degree responding to say how they disagree with your requirements. Most sites have a place to register your level of education and it will appear in the profile. Then you can add things like the last (intellectual) book you read or the how much you enjoy Shakespeare, or Keats lol. Maybe menton your school's football team name like Go Bulldogs! - especially if they are doing well. That will catch the eye of other Ivy's. But make it light and fun.
 
I would not put it out there. It may make you seem bougie even to guys who could handle it.

OK, I'm going to say this even though I know it may be an unpopular opinion. I have read most of your post about dutch chocolate. The vibe that I got was that, it was going to end like it did. I have no sympathy to offer because I think it's best that it happens sooner than later so that you can move on to the next chapter of your life. Best wishes with your personal ad.
 
Keen said:
I would not put it out there. It may make you seem bougie even to guys who could handle it.

OK, I'm going to say this even though I know it may be an unpopular opinion. I have read most of your post about dutch chocolate. The vibe that I got was that, it was going to end like it did. I have no sympathy to offer because I think it's best that it happens sooner than later so that you can move on to the next chapter of your life. Best wishes with your personal ad.
Click to expand...

The union seemed mismatched and it had nothing to do with race or religion or even weight. It was like apples and potatoes.
 
Glib, I think you should put it in your advert or at least say what university you went to and that you're looking for someone with a similar education background?

The reason you're posting is to find someone who meets some, most or all of your requirements. You will waste a lot of time talking and meeting with men who you know deep down in your heart do not match what you're looking for... or they do not even come close.

The weight requirement is a good idea too. Athletic could mean anything from long distance runner to sumo wrestler lol

Glib, you sound like a woman who knows what she wants and you will get what you want in due time :-) I admire your confidence.

I've been thinking about putting my 'race' requirements on my profile. It would stop the men who are not my type from contacting me and wasting both their time and mine... I wish it was not seen as controversial to put what you want out there. It seems that only one specific group of women are called snobs for having a dating criteria.

Let us know how you get on with your personal ad.
 
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Keen said:
I would not put it out there. It may make you seem bougie even to guys who could handle it.



OK, I'm going to say this even though I know it may be an unpopular opinion. I have read most of your post about dutch chocolate. The vibe that I got was that, it was going to end like it did. I have no sympathy to offer because I think it's best that it happens sooner than later so that you can move on to the next chapter of your life. Best wishes with your personal ad.
Click to expand...


derring-do said:
The union seemed mismatched and it had nothing to do with race or religion or even weight. It was like apples and potatoes.
Click to expand...



Um, so let me get this straight. You came into this thread (which had nothing to do really with Dutch Chocolate) to say that you didn't approve of my relationship with him. Mmmkay . . . .
 
@ above
you got that right~:perplexed

Keep your head up,lady.........
dating a lot of guys can be fun....when you're ready... go on out there
:)
 
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