Should I let him know

[TRINITY05]

I'm sure I can answer this question myself, but I wanted to hear from you ladies. I just found out that a friend of mine has been diagnosed with breast cancer and I want to visit her and take her some flowers. I dated her son for a very short while, it didn't work out so we became really good friends(we both basically moved on dating other people) but we still kept in contact with each other for a little while, in which he was tutoring me in math. His mom and I became good friends. I would really like to visit her, maybe have lunch and take her some flowers.

What do you think? I know I would feel better telling my husband about this because I don't want to keep anything from him. I need to know how should I tell him/ask him about going out there to see her.

 

[BrownEyez22]

I'm sure I can answer this question myself, but I wanted to hear from you ladies. I just found out that a friend of mine has been diagnosed with breast cancer and I want to visit her and take her some flowers. I dated her son for a very short while, it didn't work out so we became really good friends(we both basically moved on dating other people) but we still kept in contact with each other for a little while, in which he was tutoring me in math. His mom and I became good friends. I would really like to visit her, maybe have lunch and take her some flowers.

What do you think? I know I would feel better telling my husband about this because I don't want to keep anything from him. I need to know how should I tell him/ask him about going out there to see her.

You should be able to tell him plainly that so and so is sick and has been recently diagnosed with x and I thought it would be a good idea if I took her out to lunch, because I know ppl need support during these times etc.,
Just like you would any other friend.

I don't see why your DH would be upset about you visiting/ having lunch with the lady if your are such "good friends." Is there underlying drama from the past or anything that would give him a reason to say no? It sounds innocent to me, but I'm not married.

So maybe some of the married ladies will come in a give you advice.

 

[locabouthair]

I think you should tell your hubby.

I dont see why it would be an issue. The woman is you friend and she is sick. It's natural to want to visit a sick friend.

I hope she gets better.

 

[Vinyl]

Tell him. If you think he'll question your motives it'll only be more suspicious if you don't tell him.

 

[suburbanbushbabe]

Why is your dating her son have anything to do with it? I wouldn't even bring it up.

 

[TRINITY05]

You should be able to tell him plainly that so and so is sick and has been recently diagnosed with x and I thought it would be a good idea if I took her out to lunch, because I know ppl need support during these times etc.,
Just like you would any other friend.

I don't see why your DH would be upset about you visiting/ having lunch with the lady if your are such "good friends." Is there underlying drama from the past or anything that would give him a reason to say no? It sounds innocent to me, but I'm not married.

So maybe some of the married ladies will come in a give you advice.

No there is no drama from the past. You are right it shouldn't be a problem. I told him last night and he asked me some questions like Does the guy you were dating still live at home with his parents? I said no he lives with his girlfriend and son. He didn't officially say it was ok, but he didn't say it wasn't and after the conversation he seem to talk about something else.

 

[Irresistible]

No there is no drama from the past. You are right it shouldn't be a problem. I told him last night and he asked me some questions like Does the guy you were dating still live at home with his parents? I said no he lives with his girlfriend and son. He didn't officially say it was ok, but he didn't say it wasn't and after the conversation he seem to talk about something else.

can you both go? making the suggestion should ease his mind, then he can decline if he wants to support you in supporting her alone , which would probably be more comfortable, I think just giving him the option should take away any awkwardness

 

[LadyKaypnyc]

I don't think he would have a problem, she's sick and you care about her, not her son. Tell him, he probably won't mind.

 

[TRINITY05]

yes I mentioned it to him the other day and I told him he was welcome to come along. He really didn't give me an answer as far as how he felt about it. He did ask me questions like whether the son was still living at home.