Should I feel insulted?

[Nice]

I have comtemplated whether I should post this or not but,I went to my regular salon (for a relaxer) 3 weeks ago in New York City. While paying my bill, I happened to mention that I was from the hair board (some of ladies from the hair board go to this salon too). The MAN that sits behind the counter had the nerve to say "but you don't have long hair". Ladies, I felt like crap

. I mean I don't have hair flowing down my back or anything (my hair touches my shoulder)but it kind of made me feel like I don't belong. I know that not every person on this board has long hair but I felt kind of insulted.

I preceded to tell the gentleman that no everyone woman on the hair board has long hair and that some of us are members b/c we want to achieve our maximum length and to get the good hair care tips.

 

[ladylibra_30]

since you asked...

imho, you should not feel insulted...why would you? did he tell a lie?

you could have replied...."not yet, brother, but i will have long hair soon. have yourself a nice day!"

sometimes people just need to be informed and if he did'nt say what he said in a 'mean-spirited' manner....then, i would'nt be insulted.

 

[aregee]

was it his tone that insulted you? i guess he just assumed that ONLY ladies with long hair frequented this board. i wouldn't sweat it. as you and i both know, the ladies on this board are very welcoming.

 

[Browndilocks]

It wasn't very nice of him to say that. I wouldn't feel insulted however. All you have to do is read the enscription to the LHCF logo to see that it says "Helping Women of Color Achieve Long Beautiful Hair".... achieve...

I could be wrong (since I've been a member for all of about one whole month), but it is my impression that this board is specifically for women in your position. Cheer up...your hair may not be as long as you want it to be, but you should always pride yourself in your hair care efforts. You were in a salon taking care of YOUR business and he was too busy running his mouth to be mindng his. Don't dignify his comments by allowing yourself to feel bad.

 

[melodee]

You definately belong!

 

[garr6982]

I agree with ladylibra_30! Although his comment was kinda off, he may not have meant anything by it. Being that I am a smart mouth when attacked, I usually try to weigh people's comments before getting them

! Some people are just obtuse and you have to help them out a litte

! As my mom says when people make rude/uninformed/off color remarks, "Child, they ain't got no neighbors"!

I think he got the point! How he acts after you schooled him will determine if he just didn't know or just being a

!

 

[patience]

I don't think you should feel insulted. If he didn't say it in a spiteful, demeaning tone, why should you feel insulted? Some folks really do just need to be informed...

 

[ChoclatePrincess]

I agree, no need to feel insulted. I believe your response to him was appropriate. If anything he should feel stupid for assuming that everyone on the board has long hair.

 

[debyjay]

Cheer up girlie.

He needs to work on his customer service skills! Even if he thought it he should not have said it out loud.

 

[Nice]

I think that I felt bothered by his comment because he pointed out something that I have been conscious about my entire life. I know that I don't have long hair (and personally, I don't think I ever will). As much as I would like to have long hair, my focus right now is trying to keep it healthy.

 

[Wolftrap]

Girl don't feel insulted. My hair is shoulder length and it has been that way all my life. But since finding this board I am determined to get it to grow. and for him to say your hair is not long is crazy because I think shoulder length is long. But I do understand where you are coming from. I have been conscious of my hair my whole life and sometimes people can make stupid comments but don't take it to heart just prove him wrong when you show up with your hair super long. Make sure you remind him of what he said to you too.

 

[KinksnCurlz]

i think i know who u r talking about Nice. He's a jokester... even tho he was wrong in saying that, i don't think he was trying to be facetious, just comical.
and u definately BELONG here so don't let this jack@ss deter you.

 

[Nice]

Girl, I was just waiting for you to respond b/c I knew that you would know exactly who I was talking about.

Overall, I think that he is a nice person but his comment kind of threw me off. And as I said b/4 he just happen to point out something that I have been conscious of my whole life.

 

[Healthb4Length]

Don't let haters steal your joy! Ignorance is bliss and his mean a$$ is in paradise. This is the perfect site for you because you learn so much from us, it's a real positive place for people who want healthy hair. I love this site because I don't feel vain or like a

when I discuss my hair obsessions with the other ladies cause I know they obsessed too

 

[KinksnCurlz]

Listen girl...
as long as you continuously take care of your hair AND eat rite your hair will grow! It will!
shoo, i know for a fact that if i didn't start taking care of my ishh, i'd still b having babysis cornrow my hair WHILE IT WAS WET!!! yes, we did that ALOT summer 2002

Big mistake, lost a lot of hair but i digress...
Bottom line is this, i started from nothing and i've got something. I mean, look at all the ladies (#1 inspiration is Adrienne0914) that started short, and winded up longggggggggg. Just keep doing what u r doing, ur hair will b flowing down ur back and when it is, make sure ole funnyboy remembers you

 

[ladylibra_30]

[ QUOTE ]
Nice said:
Girl, I was just waiting for you to respond b/c I knew that you would know exactly who I was talking about.

Overall, I think that he is a nice person but his comment kind of threw me off. And as I said b/4 he just happen to point out something that I have been conscious of my whole life.

[/ QUOTE ]


yes, you DO belong here.....

word to the wise (i'm practising this).....NEVER let 'em see you sweat

 

[sengschick]

I would have been insulted. You don't just say something like that w/o being mean spirited. But don't let it get you down... you'd be surprised by the people who aren't supportive. My own dear mother said to me on Mother's Day, that my hair "didn't look any longer". I was so taken aback by the comment, but I rebutted quickly and told her it had only been a month & asked how quickly her hair grew in a month.

I know I was wrong, but that was so uncalled for and in front of guests too. Ugh. And I'm far from bald headed and my hair was in a cute braid out up-do, so I felt like it was a knock again a natural style. But that's cool to each his own. If my hair was ear length it would still be full, lush and fierce, so know that people may work to discourage you but only you can let them. Keep Ya Head Up! And make sure when you do have "long hair" that you slap his a$$ w/it.

 

[pookeylou]

I wouldn't feel bad. It may be the truth...but should you only be on this forum if you HAVE long hair...or is the goal here to ACHEIVE long hair?

I joined a NATURAL ONLY hair site BEFORE I was completely natural. Made sense to me...because that was my EVENTUAL goal.

I wouldnt feel bad.

 

[jainygirl]

girl you definitely belong. Every single person that's a member of this board belongs

Some people dont know how to talk to folks, it's all open mouth insert foot for them every time.

 

[JenJen2721]

I can understand why you feel somewhat insulted. He didn't have to point out that you didn't have long hair. As if you didn't know. I think it was very rude.

A white friend of my made me mad yesterday...she walked over to my desk while I was reading the board and said, "LONG HAIR FORUM???? What are you gonna get some of those long braids again??? Like the only way I could have long hair is through the use of extensions.

I just don't even want to talk to her for a while. This is not the first ignorant comment she's made.

 

[Nice]

You ladies are the best

!

 

[Bobbie]

I can understand as well. Sometimes people can be insensitive to those who have short hair and want to grow it out long.

Brush it off, girl. Just make sure to stop by and make him eat his words when your hair is down your back!

 

[A_Christian]

Don't feel bad, this board is for everybody! Some people thrive off of making rude comments toward others. You've got a nice length to be proud of.

 

[LuvLiLocks]

Nice, don't have a negative attitude or be put out by someone who simply doesn't know the real deal, chin up. Don't feel that you can't achieve your goal. My hair is a little over 4 inches long, yes, 4 inches!!!, and that is the longest point!, and I am definitely going to get mine! I belong on this forum, and so do you. We are in the midst of women who have tried and proven methods of hair success, what better place to be?

 

[A_Christian]

I'd also like to add that it is very possible to grow long hair even if you've never had it. When I was younger almost all of my hair broke off to about 2-3 inches due to a bad experience with a relaxer. After a lot of prayer

and eventually finding this board, it is now at the middle of my bra-strap and heading toward my goal. There are a lot of us here who currently have the longest length we've ever had (who didn't have long hair during childhood). We are all capable of reaching our goals. Don't give up!

 

[MizAvalon]

I probably would have been insulted, but that's because I'm really sensitive about my hair and always have been. That comes from being teased a lot as a child about it. Even now, that it's past bra-strap and healthy, I'm still funny about people asking too many questions or trying to touch it.

 

[candibaby]

[ QUOTE ]
jainygirl said:
girl you definitely belong. Every single person that's a member of this board belongs

Some people dont know how to talk to folks, it's all open mouth insert foot for them every time.

[/ QUOTE ]

 

[SandySea]

I think that the comment was in poor taste, as they say "make sure your brain is in gear before for you put your mouth in motion." However, don't let it bother you. I'm sure you're beautiful with shoulder length hair, short hair, long hair, etc. Don't be conscious about it, keep taking care of your hair and as some commercial says, "love the skin you're in."

 

[skegeesmb]

Yup, you belong. When I first joined I had shaved hair cut. Don't worry, not all of us had long hair when we joined. Many did, but I happened to be one of the ones who didn't.

 

[ChildlikeEmpress]

I certainly don't have long hair yet, but I know I've found a home here.

Don't worry about it. You do belong here, and you gave him exactly the right answer.

~Rochelle.