She says, "This is my partner, David . . . . "

[Glib Gurl]

What do you think about heterosexual couples referring to their mates as their "partners"? I understand wanting to have solidarity with same-sex couples who don't have the right to wed legally (in most states), but whenever I hear it, that just makes me go I feel like it's being extra - like, "Ooh, look at us we're so socially concious and aware that we refute the terms 'husband,' 'wife,' 'boyfriend,' 'girlfriend,' etc."

Anybody else feel that way? Or am I just being a homophobe/hater?

(BTW, my apologies to anyone who does refer to their mate as their "partner." I would love to hear your thoughts on this....)

 

[chicitygirl]

Some Europeans use the term partner to refer to platonic friends. For hetero people that use it, it doesn't bother me much. Especially for older people. Because when you get to a certain age, it sounds ridiculous to refer as someone as your boyfriend. I've never thought of it as trying too hard to be socially conscious. Some people hate the term significant other because it sounds awkward.

 

[NYAmicas]

I dont care.

 

[JFemme]

On occasion I am annoyed by the terms,my husband, my wife, my partner et cetera....

as they denote ownership on some level...

I prefer to be addressed by name and not my marital status in most cases.

We don't as a rule own others, only things...

My this, My that....

Who cares...(really)

 

[Mortons]

I've heard couples (all sexualities) use the word mate and partner. I think its cute, everyone doesnt have to feel the same way about the term husband and wife.

 

[january noir]

I don't get why it matters.

Partner, wife, husband, SO, ball-and-chain, etc. means the same. Someone has another someone gettin' on their nerves.

 

[naturalmanenyc]

I've never heard it used that way. My dad calls his buddies "partner" i.e., "Yeah, my partner Jimmy said" blah blah blah.

My friends/family tend to use girlfriend/boyfriend/fiancé/husband/wife.....or of course just "friend".

 

[Allandra]

It doesn't bother me.

 

[aribell]

If the couple is married, then it does strike me as odd...or at least as if they are actively trying to make a statement about something. If they are not married, though, it just seems like a way of expressing serious commitment to one another without using "husband," "boyfriend," etc. Actually, I think there's an age at which it becomes undignified to be anyone's "girlfriend." At that point I'd prefer something more like "significant other."

 

[Sweet C]

It depends on the context of how its used, sometimes it can confuse people.

For example, I work in a call center and this guy called and stated that he wanted to get insurance rates for his life partner. Well immediately I was about to give him the rates for a male, but I heard a female in the background. I had to sort of ask additional questions to get out of him whether his "partner" was a male of female and it turns out it was a female.

 

[Dak]

After a certain age, "boyfriend" starts sounding really lame. Too bad there isn't a better word for an older relationship.

 

[january noir]

After a certain age, "boyfriend" starts sounding really lame. Too bad there isn't a better word for an older relationship.

I know some older women who refer to their men as "gentleman friend" as to imply "more-than-just-a-friend." I think the term "significant other" is just fine.

 

[Ganjababy]

In the UK that is the preferred term for unmarried cohabitting couples, wether gay or hetero. A friend of mine from Australia said he found it strange cause in Australia only gay people refer to their SO's as partner.

 

[Natasha009]

I think of partner as being someone your in a committed relationship with but not married to, like a LT relationship. I do agree that after a certain age it sounds odd to be someone's gf / bf - I know my grandmother refers to my deceased step- grandfather as her 'late- partner". I guess it just depends where your from, I don't think people use it for any sinister reason lol.

I barely hear the term SO used anywhere except online, to me that is worse than partner (it sounds like you have more than one special other... like "oh, thats not my regular other, that's the significant other, the one I like better" ).

 

[MD_Lady]

The heterosexual couples I've heard say this have usually been living together for several (i.e. at least 10) years and are 30+. Given their situation, I can completely understand why they wouldn't want to use the terms boyfriend/girlfriend.

 

[JustKiya]

I don't mind partner, at all.

To me, it's a better descriptor of my marriage, to be honest, than 'husband' is.

I got used to it in Europe, where 'my partner Chris' could be a man or a woman - no matter what gender was saying it.

I do think it's a progressive term, but I would never think someone was 'flaunting' their progressiveness by using partner - if anything, I would assume their words live up to their politics.

 

[Vinyl]

It could just be that the person is bisexual/has gay friends/etc and is just used to using the term.

It doesn't bother me, at any rate. I use it all the time.

 

[Carrie A]

The homosexual community doesn't have a lock on the term partner. As long a I can remember it was a term for long term heterosexual couples. Common law marriage term for SO. Its also a term for a really close platonic friend in some cultures.

 

[Jhuidah]

I have a married friend who calls her husband her partner. Nothing wrong with the term used in any context.

 

[YankeeCandle]

It never occurred to me that people use the term partner to demonstrate solidarity with their same-sex counterparts. (If they do, good on them!)

But I see no problem whatsoever with the hetero use of the term partner. In fact, if I lived in the same household as my SO, I would use the term "partner."

And if I was married, I would also use the term "partner" interchangeably with "husband."

Anybody can be a husband or a wife, IMO. It doesn't take much to get a marriage license.

But a "partner" implies my equal and helpmeet in all things. It is a much more meaningful term to me and far more descriptive than "husband," "wife," "spouse," or even--dare I SAY it--"hubby."

 

[gabulldawg]

I use the term partner all the time when referring to my male boo. It's mainly because I'm not a big fan of the term boyfriend, and I don't like to use the phrase "significant other" in real life. I will usually just say it when referring to him with people we don't know, like if I'm making a doctor's appointment or something. With family and friends and people that know him I refer to him by his name, because they know what he means to me.

 

[Glib Gurl]

Hmmm . . . . All of these couples are young and newly married. (Also, at least one couple I know is very *showey* about their social-conciousness . . . the kind who brag about participating in marches or refusing to eat meat )

 

[GoingNatural]

I mean, a boyfriend, husband, girlfriend, wife.... that's your partner--whether at the time or for life. And for the aspects of marriage that isn't religious (in the eyes of the government) that truly is your business partner.

I think it's a good way to refer to someone especially when you start getting too old to call people your GF/BF

 

[frostydoll]

I think you're being a homophobe/hater

Seriously, using "partner" for some is a solidarity to gays and their "marriages." I actually like the term "partner" because it takes away from some of the connotations of husband and wife. Some people use "partner" if they aren't getting married but this is who they plan to spend the rest of their lives with.

I'll probably say husband or partner when I'm married... and it will depend on who I'm introducing him too lol.