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LoveBeautyKisses

LoveBeautyKisses

Well-Known Member
What do you do to keep guys breaking down the doors to get to your heart??? :lol:

What keeps thek running back for more.

Advice needed. :grin:
 
Personality
Minimal-to-no nagging
Ego stroking (I love to give compliments)
Being sweet and kind
Taking the time to really understand him
Good cook
Not clingy
When I see him I act like I haven't seen him in a month (I make sure I let him know that I enjoy being with him when we're together)
Being spontaneous whenever possible (without being out of character though)
Actually having things to talk about (whether family, career, hobbies or politics) EVERYtime we speak.. both me and the guys I date get tired of the "hey whats up" "nothing much" dialogue rather quickly :drunk:
 
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I'm going to ditto ego stroking. A friend of mine taught me how to do this (I was a late bloomer). Amazing the attentiveness that comes when they feel like we value them and really want to have them around.
 
Definitely cosign on ego stroking. Every time DH does something sweet I act like he moved the earth. It makes him feel important AND he keeps doing it. Win win

I LET him take care of me. I have a bad habit of wanting to do everything even though my energy level won't allow it. Sometimes I have to turn off the Superwoman thing and let him "rescue" me. Once again he feels appreciated and I get spoiled.
 
the biggest thing i try to do is be the kind of upbeat, positive person i would want to be around if i were someone else. this means keeping the negativity close to the chest. i try to keep complaints about my personal problems to a minimum. that doesnt mean we can't talk about things that matter to me or are weighing on me. it means that i always bring fun and happiness through the door instead of walking through it with a big chip on my shoulder and the first thing dropping out my mouth being "let me tell you what these aholes did today...." he is not here to be a sounding board for my problems.

i am constantly smiling and being playful. i make it my mission to have a good time. if we are together, i am going to have fun. period, that is my point in you being around me, and me being around you.

i show physical affection. i make him feel desired by me physically. tons of touches, constantly massaging his skin, his body.

as far as sex, i am very open and free about it. that isnt to be confused with freaky or kinky, because i'm neither of those things. but i'm not uptight about sex, and, again, my purpose is to have fun. it's not a chore, it's not something he has to beg for, it's not a bargaining tool. it's something we share together, and explore with each other. it's something i enjoy, and enjoy doing with him.

i dont particularly do ego stroking, like, deliberately. but i compliment him if there is something to be complimented.

i show interest in the things he is into, but not to the extent where i'm trying to mold into a similar person. i maintain my own individuality, but show openness to things he likes. i think it's better examine the sweater than to put it on, so to speak. i'm not trying to take over.

lastly, i defer to him when necessary. i tend to call the shots, but from time to time, i back off and defer to whatever he thinks, says, or wants, just to remind him, you da man, baby. i'll do what you want :yep: :kiss:
 
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umm.... listen to them. just sit, give really good eye contact and smile some and let them talk... let them get used to telling you things and confiding in you and after awhile they start telling you everything. sometimes they start talking too much and its annoying, but it's cute you know? helps them feel like they trust you and they feel connected to you and its sweet.

its counter-intuitive, but for potentials, when they're not around, i kind of ignore them. not when we're together. but when we're apart, i'm living my life... for most guys i respond to calls/texts kinda randomly... usually like a 2:1 ratio. i never used to do this before, but now i really think they like it... i think its like the thrill of the chase for them. i promise i'm not manipulative, i'm just really busy most of the time and forget to respond. but yeah, i think it might be that intermittent/variable reinforcement of behavior? with the mice? i know it sounds kinda mean, but it does work. and it gives you time to live your life.
 
I just be myself and he don't like it, he can kick all kinds of rocks. Quite frankly, I've run out of f@@ks when it comes to the rules "catching" a man. Ironically, that attracts them more. They seem to appreciate the fact I'm comfortable enough in my skin to be myself. The way I act on here is generally how I act in person.
 
Honestly, its when they feel you have no interest in them...men love a chase.

Like seriously, when you give off the energy that you dont give a damn and that you can take it or leave it, maaaaaaaaaaan they will do anything in their will to get you to care about them! They go nuts! Pull away and they pull forward...but thats nothing new...but it does work.
 
Space.

I think that is the single most important thing that I think has made me do quite well. I don't do it on purpose, it's a side benefit of my attraction/initial attachment style. I'm talking about in the early stages of getting to know each other and dating.
Most guys respond very well, feel free to fall for me with genuine space and it works quite fast.

IMO lot of women have men want to escape earlier than hoped, or not treat it seriously because they don't give the man enough space to fall in love with them.
 
Just thought of another thing...timing.


IMO, it doesnt matter what you do. If he's not ready for a relationship, you can bag it up ladies. I once read how it really doesnt matter who the woman is...if the man is ready to settle down, he'll more than likely plan on a serious commitment with that woman he just happens to be with at the time he is ready. And she lucks out because she just happens to be at the right place at the right time.


 
laCriolla said:
HOW? do tell
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Not laCriolla but I'll bite.

Say your SO cooks you dinner and the food is good. Just be extra appreciative. Instead of just "Thanks babe." it's "wow! That was so considerate of you and it was delicious!" followed by a big hug and kiss. Kinda exaggerate the appreciation a little bit (I'm not sure exaggerate is the right word. Emphasize?). Men thrive on appreciation, they want to know that when they do something special for you, you notice them going out of their way.

Now if the food was bad? "Thanks for cooking tonight, that was so sweet. Next time I think we should cook together" :look: with a big hug and kiss.

Sn: my DH is also very generous with praise, so it's not one sided.
 
MixedBerry said:
Just thought of another thing...timing.


IMO, it doesnt matter what you do. If he's not ready for a relationship, you can bag it up ladies. I once read how it really doesnt matter who the woman is...if the man is ready to settle down, he'll more than likely plan on a serious commitment with that woman he just happens to be with at the time he is ready. And she lucks out because she just happens to be at the right place at the right time.
Click to expand...

idk about this. my bf was casually dating some woman right before we started going out... they had been seeing each other for 3 months and he broke it off with her bc she wanted a more serious relationship and he told her he didnt. we went out for about a month or so then he asked to be my boyfriend.

i think there's something to be said for the wrong time, but i also think there's something to be said for the wrong woman too.
 
meesch said:
idk about this. my bf was casually dating some woman right before we started going out... they had been seeing each other for 3 months and he broke it off with her bc she wanted a more serious relationship and he told her he didnt. we went out for about a month or so then he asked to be my boyfriend.

i think there's something to be said for the wrong time, but i also think there's something to be said for the wrong woman too.
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My point exactly!
He asked you because he was ready!! LOL Thats exactly the point I was making!
 
MixedBerry said:
My point exactly!
He asked you because he was ready!! LOL Thats exactly the point I was making!
Click to expand...

eh. i dont see it that way. he dated two women within the same time frame, at the same stage in his life. he made a choice. i don't see that as timing.
 
IMO men (or women) can be open to a relationship "if the right person comes along", but still ****, or short term with people deemed unsuitable for a LTR. There's a state of mind between just looking for casual and only looking for only a serious relationship.

Anyone, or study pretending people don't operate like that sometimes is inaccurate to me. Although it's more soothing to the ego to believe it's always down to luck.:look: I've been on the recieving end of a few men who were looking for the one, but thought I wasn't quite right after a little while and consideration. They didn't even try to sleep with me, though they were very attracted and we got on really well. Were just honest that they wanted to settle down with someone with similar interests, or similar views etc..

It is luck sometimes though:yep:. Like one of my ex friends married someone recently. He said that all his male friends were married and he felt left behind. In a sense the next woman he got on with he married, so she's lucky rather than the special woman. I think those types of things can happen when a guy gets to a certain age. Not all men are like that though. I've seen men slotting women into catergories too much for them not to distiguish between women they would like to settle down with. Also those guys where the women they short term and sex with look, act and seem totally different to the women they LTR, or marry.

Anyways, if a man doesn't want to settle down with someone it's best to move on in any case. I agree with that. There's nothing that can be done from the womans side. Whether its bad timing, you're not the right match, or a combination of the two.
 
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laCriolla said:
HOW? do tell
Click to expand...

Similar to what Anakinsmomma said.

Another example is complimenting their appearance. Any little thing. My guy gets a haircut, I say "Mmm, you got your haircut? Nice."(in a suggestive way) If he gets dressed up or if I see what he's wearing for work, I say "You look really nice." or "I like that (insert random clothing item) on you."

It may seem like basic complementing but I think it becomes ego stroking when you do it more frequently and based on the way you deliver it. I won't hesitate to let a guy that I'm dating know that I love his look, think he's sexy, appreciate what he does for me, think that he's great in a way that may be suggestive or doting. As long as I genuinely mean it.
 
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