Setbacks-Transitioning Mistakes

[Tylers-mom]

Hello-

I'm currently transitioning from being texlaxed/relaxed to being natural. I have about 2-3 inches of natural hair, 4-5 inches of texlaxed hair and about 2-3 inches of straggly relaxed hair. The relaxed ends are creating major headaches for me and I'm tempted to just cut them!! The texlaxed portion is fine.

What mistakes have you made during your transition to become natural that affected your length or the health of your hair?
Please share....thanks ladies!

 

[KurlyNinja]

Subscribing...

 

[Miss_C]

Trying to straighten all the time. It gave me heat damage in the front. The humidity took care of that.

 

[Imani]

I'm almost 1 year post relaxer and so far I haven't really had any major setbacks (except a stylist whacking off too much of my hair). I've used heat extensively with no adverse affects.

I would like to hear others stories tho.

 

[**SaSSy**]

During my first transition many moons ago I made the mistake of not discovering LHCF or some similar forum for haircare. This time around I haven't made pretty much any because I knew before I decided to transition to cut out all forms of direct hair, and to make sure I keep the line of demarcation very moisturized, but strong. That is the most important thing to keep in mind while transitioning. You should really get rid of those relaxed ends and just focus on the texlaxed and natural texture. It would make detangling and styling so much easier in the long run.

 

[tricie]

I have been transitioning for a year and haven't experienced any issues...that I can tell. Bumping for you...great thread, OP!

 

[LaFemmeNaturelle]

I'm entering my 9th month and I haven't had any setbacks but would love to hear some stories!

 

[brownstallion]

I was trying to hold on to my what I thought was only bsl but I recently flat ironed my hair and it was way pass my bra but, It was a hassle to detangle and my ends where kind of messy so I chopped about 4 inches. I miss my hair but it's much easier to manage 2 textures. I'm 13 months post with half of my hair relaxed and the other natural.

 

[NicBenny]

bumping .... we need more stories.

 

[chrisanddonniesmommy]

Women, I want stories!!!!

I'm going into my third month of transitioning. I haven't experienced any setbacks thus far.

 

[AHeadOfCoils]

Simple.. I BCd too early. I wasn't mentally prepared so I freaked and got a relaxer. LOL. The relaxer DID NOT TAKE so I am still 'natural' though. I just had it cut into a cute style and I LOVE IT!! I think I am going to be a part of the forever TWA club. I love my short hair!!

 

[Daeuiel]

During my first transition many moons ago I made the mistake of not discovering LHCF or some similar forum for haircare. This time around I haven't made pretty much any because I knew before I decided to transition to cut out all forms of direct hair, and to make sure I keep the line of demarcation very moisturized, but strong. That is the most important thing to keep in mind while transitioning. You should really get rid of those relaxed ends and just focus on the texlaxed and natural texture. It would make detangling and styling so much easier in the long run.

If I hadn't discovered LHCF I probably NEVER would have thought of transitioning. Would have spent my whole life relaxing & heat torturing my shoulder length hair and wondering why I never seemed to retain any length. Other members have shown me by example that your natural hair can be beautiful and easily managed. I've cut out all direct heat, moisturized my hair properly and deep conditioning when necessary. Also very little manipulation, only combing when wet and with a large tooth comb. I'll probably find it difficult to resist washing it too often, but I expect to retain a lot more growth than I would have before.

 

[sky035]

Subscribing....

 

[Bun Mistress]

No actual setbacks but things I know now:

After about month 8 no wet sets, too many tangles and this texture between my relaxed and 4B hair was too obvious.

wash in sections or I will be sorry

no cowashing/wash n go's learned my lesson....

keep my hair detangled at all times

the best moisturized is a good DC there is nothing that can make up for this!!!

 

[NicBenny]

I'm a long term transitioner, last relaxer in March. This Tuesday, while washing my hair, my relaxed strands got so tangled and knotted at the ends that they sort of locked. I was able to work out all of the knots, except for one large chunk that got so knotted that it looked like a dreadlock. The thing is, it had about 3 inches of my hair that I was unable to undo. In a attempt to save what I could, I eased as much hair out of the knot as possible, but lost about 3 inches in one section of my hair.

The following morning, I got it straighten and while its not completely noticeable unless I comb it out...you can see the missing hair (see attached).

My advise would be to detangle detangle detangle. Now, I'm going to cut my hair to SL.

 

[NikkiQ]

 

[Ese88]

getting my hair blow dried twice prior to putting in kinky twists.it messed up my natural texture and i stopped transitioning.

 

[pretty_pink1908]

this is my first post & i have to comment on this...im transitioning now its been over 12months since my last relaxer...this is my second time transitioning because in March/April 09 i gave myself a relaxer out of frustration because i didn't know how to care for my hair, it was breaking badly so i just gave up which, relaxing damaged hair just made it worse. before that incident i had been what i thought was transitioning since about June 07. The biggest mistakes I made were not researching, trying every bandwagon and not treating the two textures as such. i was taking advice from my natural friends and treating my hair like it was natural and at the same time still doing some of the same things i was doing when it was fully relaxed. so after the bad relaxer i cut my hair to my ears and started transitioning again...this time more informed...now my hair is super healthy and back past my shoulders. im still learning about my hair but this time around is much better and i havent had a set back since. sorry so long lol.

 

[MiWay]

I think changing my mindset was my biggest hurdle.

During my first attempt at transitioning (I think June 2008), I did no research. I saw a few people on LHCF did it and I figured I could do it too. My normal relaxer stretch was somewhere between 12 and 16 weeks, but after that, things went downhill. I was not prepared for my natural hair or ready to face that it was going to very different from my relaxed hair. I think I wore buns for a little while and then started going to the Dominican salon to avoid dealing with the two textures. As the curls continued to grow in, all I could think about was how to get rid of them. That rattail comb and round brush were my worst enemies! While my hair was growing, it was getting thinner. All that pulling and tugging and heat was breaking my hair at the line of demarcation and/or just ripping it out. And I did not want to trim at all because I didn’t want to lose my length. By the time I reached month 6, I just gave up and relaxed. My hair was longer, but much thinner, so I avoided straight styles for a while.

I started my second transition in July 2009. I am now 58 weeks post and loving it! I haven’t BC’d yet, but I plan to very soon. This time around, I didn’t just jump into it; I did some research, and read about other people’s journeys, successes, and failures, and something just clicked. Since I was not ready to BC right away, I maintained my hair by blowdrying and flatironing it (with a good heat protectant, of course) every 7-10 days. It caused less stress at the line of demarcation, and I haven't noticed any heat damage. I have trimmed twice since I started my journey. I had about 2-3 inches cut both times, which is a big deal because I hate cutting/trimming my hair; I was one of those people who thought having long hair was better than keeping my ends in good shape.

Lessons learned:

• All products that work great on my relaxed hair, don’t work as well or the same on my natural hair.
• Washing my hair sections is the truth. I hardly lose any hair on wash day and it’s so much easier to handle.
• My hair needs a break from heat. I have started implementing Carusos or other styles into my regimen to avoid using so much heat.
• Blowdrying first makes (some) styling a lot easier.
• Pre-pooing with coconut oil or conditioner makes a world of difference when it comes to detangling.
• Trims are not the enemy; my hair will grow back.
• The only comb I let touch my hair is my shower comb. I may use my rattail comb to make a part, but that's it.
• It's okay if every strand of my hair is not slicked back/laid down.

The more my curls grow in, the more I want to avoid straight styles. My mindset is really changing, and it's scary. My biggest fear is that I will not know what to do with my hair once I’m fully natural, so I continue to read other transitioners’ posts so I can be ahead of the game (hopefully) when I finally BC. I never thought I’d get to the point I wouldn’t care about my length so much and be 100% ready to get rid of the relaxed ends.

 

[Alta Angel]

Setbacks:
Hair envy: Learning to accept my texture and all its highs and lows.
Product Junkyism: I learned early on not to jump on every bandwagon and not to force my hair to be something that it is not.
Complicated regimens: Later I learned that less is more!
Not washing hair in braids: Tangle city!
Being rough with relaxed ends: I figured that I was cutting them off anyway, so why bother taking the time to be gentle? I stopped this during month 1 of my transition!
Seeking approval/acceptance from others: For many, going natural is taboo and incomprehensible. So many people told me to leave my long, relaxed hair alone or expressed negativity...my mother, some friends, and coworkers. I let all of them know where they could go and how they could do it... in my best Claire Huxtable impersonation!

Best Practices:
Purchasing a steamer is the best investment that I have made during my transition.
Water, Olive oil, Castor Oil, and Aloe vera juice/gel are my favorite natural ingredients.
Discovering ph balance (Kimmaytubes leave in recipe)
Lastly, whatever I am doing seems to be working. Several former naysayers are now transitioning with me!

 

[Anonymous1]

bump...................................

 

[naturallygoldie]

going on 23 months and the only "set back" was chopping from wl to sl at month 6/7 at from mbl to above bra strap/below apl around the one year mark (i had some good growth spurts that I just tossed to the wind unnecessarily)

my hair type?? IDK.the type that's curly/wavy..fine and loves to tangle. My reggie: wash > dc > rollerset > flatiron > doobie...maybe on a whim i'll do a wet bun but my hair doesn't like air drying

My advice to you is to do as much research as you possibly can as to what works for your hair. Once you find the right combination of products/styling *stick with it*. Listen to your hair. Don't force your hair to do something that it doesn't want to

 

[havilland]

i transitioned from bone-laxed to texlaxed. my biggest mistake was not cutting my relaxed ends sooner. i transitioned for 3 years. i think once i assess the journey, i could have preserved length for 2 years at the most. at that point the relaxed ends were thinning and causing a problem for me. detangling was a chore. the ends made any style look sickly. at year 2 i should have cut them clean away. but i held onto them and they caused a setback.

if i had cut them as soon as they became a problem, in the short run i would have lost length, but i would have gained it back in retention if i had cut them sooner....so basically i spent a year trying to recover.

 

[havilland]

oh yeah....and always prepoo with oils.

keep a bottle of rosewater and glycerin for those days when your new growth won't budge. i find that a little glycerin spritz at night and the next morning my new growth is soft and buttery. makes detangling much less traumatic.

and wash in braids or twists. this is a must for me at 10 weeks post. ( i stretch 5-10 months at a time depending on my mood, so i spend alot of time dealing with two textures even though i am texlaxed.)

 

[brownstallion]

Trying to straighten all the time. It gave me heat damage in the front. The humidity took care of that.

Same here, I am unable to wear a wash n go with all my hair out, so I clip the front back. My sister pointed out that the front of the hair is also always pulled back in ponytails, scarf, and other way so it adds to the front hair that has no texture or less texture. I thought it that was possible too.

My mistakes were not detangling my hair good enough, although i thought I did. I suffered breakage in which I'm still nursing. I was more concerned with length when I should have Bced at the first sign of breakage.

 

[brownstallion]

I was trying to hold on to my what I thought was only bsl but I recently flat ironed my hair and it was way pass my bra but, It was a hassle to detangle and my ends where kind of messy so I chopped about 4 inches. I miss my hair but it's much easier to manage 2 textures. I'm 13 months post with half of my hair relaxed and the other natural.

I posted on this thread last year!!

 

[lolascurls]

I am now almost 20 months post. I haven't had much in the way of setbacks but I have learned some things
1) Wash hair in braided or twisted sections
2) Co-washing is what my hair loves.
3) Protein deep conditioners keep my demarcation line strong (helped whilst I was texlaxing too)
4) Aloe vera juice is amazingly moisturizing and is the perfect pH for my hair!
5) To simplify my regimen: I was co-washing several times a week, applying sunflower oils here or there, deep conditioning and applying all sorts of leave-ins in the week. I am tired! I just DC once every 2 weeks and follow with a clarifying conditioner and baking soda mix.
6) My hair really felt cleaned by bentonite clay.
7) It's ok to pamper my hair with some natural products. My hair stays fuller and thicker that way.
8) Keep lots of inspiration on your computer, phone or in your room. I will keep you going!
9) Switch up your protective styles: I started with buns mainly, went to wigs then kinky twists and single braids. Now on to two-strand twists with my own hair!
10) Keep you eyes peeled for more threads on natural hair and natural blogs. I do have a transitioning blog though.

 

[westNDNbeauty]

believing the heutiful steamer really does moisturizes 5x better and forgoing my overnight dc and then flat ironing. huge set back!

 

[pbuckley]

I recently big chopped after a 15 month transition. I transitioned the entire time with Dominican blowouts on a bi-weey basis. major setback I have heat damage on one portion of hair on the left side. I learned I should have alternated at the very least with some type of no heat hairstyle.

 

[Soquin]

I went natural four years ago. It was a gradual transition as I slowly let my relaxed ends grow off. I've had several setbacks and was extremely uneducated about how to take care of my hair. I would constantly straighten my hair on 450 degrees, using no heat protectant. I did this 3-5 times a week. In addition to fighting against my natural curls, I failed to wrap my hair.The few weeks. I wore my hair curly I washed my hair every single day and left the conditioner in so that my hair would stay moisturized... Little did I know that this routine would over process my hair.

Finally, my sister and i decided to put blonde highlights in my hair a year ago... While it was very cute, I used loreal, which bleaches and strips the hair (adding no moisture). My hair split all the wAy up to the shaft. I continued to fry my hair several times a week. With the way i treated my hair... Its a wonder i didnt go bald!

Now my hair is a few inches past my shoulders and I have an inch of blonde highlights.. My hair is very healthy. I moisturize daily and wash (and deep condition $weekly.

Despite my many setbacks, I am on my way to long healthy hair!