Serious Dilemma...please help!

[MariposaMorena08]

My last relaxer was August of 2005, after a serious hair loss escapade I decided to go natural...again! I BC'd in February of this year and have loved my natural hair! I had missed the feel and texture of my natural hair. HOWEVER, I find myself wanting to texlax, or relax my hair. (Like Isis' hair!! Hello, Isis!) I cannot seem to make up my mind!! Before the BC, my hair reached my shoulder blades! I cannot keep going back and forth because I will *never* grow any hair!

I would just press it but I live in North Carolina, where the humidity is like an extra blanket on you in the summer time. My hair never held presses well. So that is not a real option for me right now. What makes you all (natural, texlaxed, relaxed sisters) decide how you will wear your hair?

 

[Isis]

What makes you all (natural, texlaxed, relaxed sisters) decide how you will wear your hair?

Hello MariposaMorena! You must have pulled me in here with my name!
Answering your question, I feel it's the mental image I have of myself of how I want to look. I keep my ideal image in mind and I focused on getting that look with the status of my hair, relaxed. The texlaxed part seemed to just "happen" and instead of trying to correct it, I went along with the flow. The tips and ideas I use from the hair boards and my regimen conform to my image and I keep my mind open to new ideas and techniques.

 

[1QTPie]

I wear my hair however I feel each day. Since I feel bored most days, I just pull it into a ponytail or I simply wash it and put on a headband. The crazier it looks, the more I like it. I just let it be, I figure that's the thing that makes me unique and special. No color, no relaxer, nothing, just some shea butter and out the door.

 

[hopeful]

Well, I just wanted to tell you that you are one of those lucky people who have gorgeous hair whether natural or relaxed. And I love the color! Why did you relax again the last time and why did you go natural again? Did you relax to show length? Did you go natural because you liked the look or because it seemed healthier that way? I would really ask myself the whys and try to answer honestly. Then I would do a long list of pros and cons for texturized, relaxed and natural and see which one has the most pros. I know it's hard to decide but I think it's worth a lot of thought and research on your part because like you said when you keep going back and forth it's hard to grow out your hair and that can be frustrating.

I also liked what Isis said, she really has a strong sense of who she is and what she wants.

I've decided to stay natural because I like natural hair in general a little better than relaxed (on me) and my hair can't take the chemicals. If I could grow long healthy hair as a relaxed head the decision would be a hard one.

Good luck and please let us know what you decide.

 

[Legend]

I experienced a similar dilemma after transitioning from April 2005-March 2006. I went to the salon on March 3rd for the last couple of inches those old, relaxed ends to be cut...and came out with it texlaxed! Why did I make this decision? I loved wearing my 4b hair unprocessed because it was fuller than it had been in years and had a nice color (like a #2 with natural reddish highlights). I was LOVING it!!! But, I found myself pressing it more often than I liked just to wear in a boring pony tail for work.

I decided to get my hair texlaxed mostly because I was tired of always burning myself trying to use heated appliances to coax my hair in a semblance or order because it grows in several directions (I have a few cowlicks, concave AND convex growth patterns—very odd ). Pressing also required a lot more maintenance and manipulation than I was comfortable with.

Once I’ve gained some more length and my hair is heavy enough to hang in one direction, I plan to stop relaxing again (in about 18 months). Having my hair texlaxed instead of super-straight will make the transition process a little easier down the road. So, I’m working off of a plan because I know how I’d like to wear my hair eventually, and texlaxing was the least...painful...way to go.

BTW, Your hair is georgeous, MariposaMorena!!!

 

[Cheleigh]

I went natural because I didn't want to be relaxed anymore-I didn't see the need. I prefer to wear my hair naturally coily/curly/kinky. It's easier to me have control over my own hair as a natural--I don't need to rely on products or technique for a good hair day. So it was the right decision for me.

Also, I rarely have the desire to wear my hair straight (haven't worn it straight since June 2005). If the urge suddenly hits me, a brief date with a flat iron will take care of that.

My hair grew just fine with a relaxer--it was arm pit length before I did the BC, so growth, breakage, etc. wasn't the reason I went natural.

 

[MariposaMorena08]

Wow, thanks for the comments and compliments! ((hugs)) Well, unfortunately, after making a pro/con list I am not any closer to making my mind up. I think that a good portion of my problem is that my hair seemed to grow faster when relaxed. When I was natural before, it took me 5 years just to get to shoulder-length, stretched. If I am going to work hard to grow my hair out, I want to see the results, to enjoy it.

Another problem is that I want to have a nice style when my natural hair does grow long. I do not like braids and I practically wore a puff the entire time before I relaxed again. I don't want to go back to that! My current job doesn't allow braids and twists anyway.

As of now I am leaning towards staying natural, but I really need some styling options. Thanks, you guys, do you have any other advie?

 

[Mizani_Mrs]

Hi MM! I just wanted to say that you look fabulous with your short natural hair. If you could be happy with natural hair then i'd say go for it. If you do decide to press, then u need to find a good professional who can do it who knows how to combat reversion. (I have a good stylist off of independence blvd, by the way...) If i had my hair cut and was starting over again. I would get a mild texlax. My 1st choice would be Phyto I, because your hair will still be full and thick. You would also still be able to wear it naturally curly. then you can blowdry it straight as you choose. Just do whatever would make u happy daily. i'm sure you will be just as gorgeous either way...