Self Confidence and Hair

[JazzyDez]

I remember back in my middle school/hs days when my hair was JACKED UP , it would cause me to feel so down and "unpretty". But if I got my weave done and it was looking right, you couldn't tell me nothing.

So that just got me to thinking...... if all black women knew and shared the knowledge that we share on this board, (resulting in beautiful, long, shiny, bouncy relaxed hair, or long, healthy, glowing, soft nautral hair or whatever type of healthy hair they desired), would black women in general have more self confidence overall? Whether we like the fact or not, hair isssues are such a major part of a black women's image that what we have or don't have can have a major impact on our self esteem/self confidence. I was wondering what your thoughts were on this. Do you think that if hair wasn't such an "issue" for us and we all had the hair that we desired that black women in general would have more self confidence?

 

[lovenharmony]

Good question JazzyDez, I've always wondered this myself. I wouldn't say more self-confident per se...I would say feel more accepted as a symbol of beauty as a whole. Our hair tends to seperate us from all other races, and hair being an important symbol of beauty (and femininity in general) caters to the euro-centric beliefs of long, flowing, "frizz free" hair as what makes you pretty. Actually there is a stigmatism of black women having "over self confidence and aggressive personalities" in the general public from my experience. I guess it stems from the the Afro-centric movement in the past .

When it all boils down to it, having self confidence depends on the individual in my opinion. Even if I was bald I would still have self confidence!

 

[Miel]

You just don't know how many times I've been like "Man, If I'd have known back then what I know about hair now!"

I Know from the depths of my very being that I would have been a different person. Without all that self-hating and insecurity I would have had more energy to focus on more positive things. I would have done more, spoken up more, I would have been more if I would have had the self confidence! And ladies, like it or not, we like to think like India Arie - I am not my hair- but so much of a woman's self confidence comes from knowing that she looks good and being comfortable with who she is. Alot of that comes from our hair.

 

[JazzyDez]

Good question JazzyDez, I've always wondered this myself. I wouldn't say more self-confident per se...I would say feel more accepted as a symbol of beauty as a whole. Our hair tends to seperate us from all other races, and hair being an important symbol of beauty (and femininity in general) caters to the euro-centric beliefs of long, flowing, "frizz free" hair as what makes you pretty. Actually there is a stigmatism of black women having "over self confidence and aggressive personalities" in the general public from my experience. I guess it stems from the the Afro-centric movement in the past .

When it all boils down to it, having self confidence depends on the individual in my opinion. Even if I was bald I would still have self confidence!

True, but I think for a lot of people, being viewed/accepted as a symbol of beauty goes hand in hand with having self confidence (not that you otherwise wouldnt have any).

As for the second part, I think that for many people who are bald and it was not by choice, but by over processing, ignorant stylists, tight ponytails, and a lack of knowledge of healthy hair practices I don't think that the self confidence would be an automatic thing, it would probably be something that would need to be built up, like through the parents teaching the children etc etc

 

[JazzyDez]

You just don't know how many times I've been like "Man, If I'd have known back then what I know about hair now!"

I Know from the depths of my very being that I would have been a different person. Without all that self-hating and insecurity I would have had more energy to focus on more positive things. I would have done more, spoken up more, I would have been more if I would have had the self confidence! And ladies, like it or not, we like to think like India Arie - I am not my hair- but so much of a woman's self confidence comes from knowing that she looks good and being comfortable with who she is. Alot of that comes from our hair.

Totally agree with the bolded!

 

[PinkPeony]

I agree with lovenharmony to the point that it depends on the individual and their self-esteeem .
Having said that I have to say that yes my confidence would have been different.
When I was around 18 I head a huge orangy-red fro and felt suuuper confident,still a bad hair day could easily ruin my day.
If I would have known back then how versatile and healthy my hair can be,how long I can grow it and how to work with it I would have been more confident.
Instead I often felt like a total fool that had no clue what to do with my own hair.

 

[JazzyDez]

Bizzump

 

[InnerSoul]

high school for me was the hardest... feeling accepted..and yes my hair was jacked .. if only I knew then what I know now.. I am pretty sure I would have had more self esteem and much self confidence. Society does place beauty value on hair...we live in that type of world. I feel beautiful when I see the progress of my hair...what it went thru due to my ignorance on hair care. My hair has come a long way but I still have a long way to go.

Now I am not saying those women who don't have any hair thru uncontrolled circumstances(alopecia,chemotherapy...)aren't beautiful b/c beauty does come from within.. but when I was growing up with out of control hormones...it didn't take much for my esteem to sink and for me to feel not pretty when my hair was always breaking thru negligence.

 

[tastesosweet]

I think in our society we have all of these "images of beauty" forced on us and a lot of time we can't relate--especially when it comes to our hair. I love this site because it helps us build out self-esteem by showcasing the variety and beauty of our hair. Gotta love that.

 

[MJ]

I feel a million times better when my hair looks nice. The length really doesn't matter. I

felt bangin with a fresh big chop, but miserable when my past shoulder length hair was breakin constantly. I loved my hair when it was first relaxed and curly. I felt fabulous when I went through my rebellion phase this past May and June and wore my TWA military style (everyday to a corporate job).

When my hair doesn't look good to me, it brings my self esteem down waaaaay low. Looking good is important and it really makes a difference in the way you feel about yourself.

It's not about whether the hair is relaxed, long, or short, a wig or weave, cornrows or extensions, it's about whether it looks good to the owner. If the owner loves it, it'll make their day .