Second choice
- Thread starter CarLiTa
- Start date
Ms_Delikate
Well-Known Member
I have never felt this way...but if I did then the relationship would not work...I am just not the type that would be comfortable playing that role
winterinatl
All natural!
As soon as I get the feeling I am someone's second choice I stop dating them. That is just self torture, I couldn't do it knowing I am someone else's FIRST choice 
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Keen
Well-Known Member
As soon as I get the feeling I am someone's second choice I stop dating them. That is just self torture, I couldn't do it knowing I am someone else's FIRST choice
Yep. This guy actually told me that he was trying to keep life moving since this girl wasn't feeling him. Needless to say, we didn't have a second date.
Nope, I've never felt that way because I'm not Backburner ***** material. With every guy I deal with, it is clear that I am the #1 choice, the girl of the man's dreams, the love of his life and that he feels lucky to just be around me. Anything else is completely unacceptable. I have dumped guys with whom I was first choice but who weren't giving me enough attention--God knows what I'd do to a man who had the nerve to make me feel like second choice.
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JFemme
Well-Known Member
Girl, I snapped my fanguhs after typing that.(Not BBMaterial)
loooooooooooove it.....!!!!!!!!!!!!
I really believe that more of us have to say that and mean it. "Nukka, I will not be your back-up plan because I ain't no backburner *****."Girl, I snapped my fanguhs after typing that.
I 100% agree.
JFemme
Well-Known Member
Listen to your gut, its your inner guidance system provided by mother nature, no less..
Bounce...
We choose the men in our lives...If you want to be number one, you must get your confidence, priorities in line ...and choose better, dear..
{{{hugs}}} All the best..
Jf
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Personally, I don't need overt statements/actions before I get the hell out of situations. My intuition is all I need. It'd be one thing if you didn't sense anything. But you do, so would you rather be humiliated before leaving him? Why don't you trust yourself? As for his denial: "The heart of man is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: Who can know it?" Jer. 17:9. People lie.
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I met a guy who said that dating is a chain of second choices... and when I stopped and thought about it, it's kinda funny (funny - interesting)
Just think - there's this couple at the top of "whatever" chain. Dude is interested in her, but she's in a relationship, so he dates someone else (second choice). There's a girl who's interested in THAT dude, but he's dating someone else, so she dates someone else. And on and on and on.
"Second Choice" sounds so negative. What about "unforeseen opportunity"? Sure, dude didn't initially have his eye on you - it was on someone else. But then you came along and presented an opportunity that he had never considered before...
I'm definitely not leftovers, but I might be a main dish that someone's never considered before...
The question is - do you feel like that unforeseen opportunity or more like "something to do"?? If you're feeling like an unforeseen opportunity - stick it out. If you're feeling like "something to do" and you don't like the feeling, keep it moving.
Folks may not like to admit it - we date guys sometimes because we have nothing better to do, or because a particular guy presents an opportunity to do something WITH somebody (in other words - activities). Why do we act like men are any different!? And there's nothing wrong with that.
And keep in mind, there's always the flip side. Have you ever had your eye on someone in particular - and when you actually got to "taste" and "experience" that person, it just wasn't what you thought??
I dunno, there's a lot of different ways to look at the situation. The question is - how is it making you feel? If you're feeling more down then up about it, its time to move on to the next!
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