SAY NO!! Need Some Tips and Tricks!

[beans4reezy]

OK- I just made an appointment with my hair dresser. I am 77 weeks post and am going to get my hair relaxed on Friday. I just called her to confirm what she is doing to my hair.

She mentions, "of course, we'll need to shape with the style".....

WAIT! WHAT? UMMMMMMMMMM ​

About four years ago, a hairdresser recommended by my friend told me the same thing...I was growing my hair out and it finally hit my shoulders and she gasped and told me she needed to "shape" my hair. I ended up losing ALL of the progress I had made! Which led me to LCHF and for that I am forever grateful; but I do not want a repeat!

I am really non confrontational.

It is me...I am the dummy that would sit up there and let someone cut my hair because I am too afraid to speak up.

So before I come up in here on Friday with a thread that reads:

"HELP! THEY DONE CUT ALL MY HAIR!!!" ​

I need some tips, tricks, something to tell this heifer NOT to cut my hair. In the 77 weeks I've stretched...I did not play with my hair- my ends are good. Plus, my sister is one of her clients as well and my sister was in tears after a "trim" from this woman a couple of weeks ago. In fact, my sister, used to have long, thick, apl hair- but since going to this woman- I haven't seen any progress in my sisters hair. I told my sister, before, when you had long hair...who used to do it...she looks at me and says..."Me. I did my hair myself"...But, I digress

Any suggestions would be appreciated.

P.S- this is my LAST appointment with this woman. I am going to become reacquainted with relaxing my own hair. After 77 weeks of stretching, I simply don't need this added anxiety.

 

[JJamiah]

Go some where else first off.

Try to find a friend or family member whose hair you like and ask whom they use.

OH and great job on that 77 week stretch.

But please just be patient and find someone who will listen grab a mirror. Tell them a even layer as low as you can go and if you want layers slight layers.

 

[Darenia]

I personally don't like tricks and hints (tips)... I would just tell her up front "do not cut/trim my hair. All I want you to do is A B and C, that's it"

Tricks and hints leave too much room for interpretation.

 

[ChristmasCarol]

Can you take your sister or another friend with you to keep an eye on the stylist? If not...


RUN, FORREST, RUN!

 

[Chaosbutterfly]

When you get there, or really, you should have told her when she first brought it up, explain that you are trying to grow your hair out and don't want it to be trimmed at all. You should be polite, but also be very firm. Look her in the eye and keep your voice controlled and confident so that she knows that you're not playing. If she starts coming at your head with scissors, make sure you turn around, look at her, and remind her that you guys agreed not to trim anything earlier. As long as you keep an amiable and relaxed tone and she's not an unreasonable person, you shouldn't have any problems.

And don't let her turn you from the mirror. If she starts, tell her nicely that you prefer to face the mirror. If she asks why, don't say that you don't trust her LOL. Just say that it's fun or interesting to watch.

 

[Poranges]

Don't go to her period honestly. Find another good stylist, lay ground rules and get your touch up and then begin self relaxing.

If you must go to her, as soon as you get to the salon tell her EXACTLY what you want.
"I'd like my hair relaxed and set. Please do not trim any more than an inch, I'm not interested in getting it cut/shaped." Be respectful but firm in your tone.

 

[Solitude]

Ok...um...this lady is going to cut your hair so I don't have any advice except to cancel your appointment, unless you want your hair to be cut.

 

[beans4reezy]

When you get there, or really, you should have told her when she first brought it up, explain that you are trying to grow your hair out and don't want it to be trimmed at all. You should be polite, but also be very firm. Look her in the eye and keep your voice controlled and confident so that she knows that you're not playing. If she starts coming at your head with scissors, make sure you turn around, look at her, and remind her that you guys agreed not to trim anything earlier. As long as you keep an amiable and relaxed tone and she's not an unreasonable person, you shouldn't have any problems.

And don't let her turn you from the mirror. If she starts, tell her nicely that you prefer to face the mirror. If she asks why, don't say that you don't trust her LOL. Just say that it's fun or interesting to watch.

This is an awesome post, I'm just such a chicken. I really need to get over it and grow a back bone. You should see me...I'm over here at my desk biting my nails, sweat beads forming on my upper lip...

I'm so anxious

 

[Solitude]

beans4reezy

Do you have any tips for successfully stretching for so long? Thanks in advance...

 

[beans4reezy]

Ok...um...this lady is going to cut your hair so I don't have any advice except to cancel your appointment, unless you want your hair to be cut.

Thanks for your input.

Yes, her intentions are to cut, but I need to be woman enough to firmly, but politely tell her no. I do intend on leaving her, however, I'm sure she isn't the only hair dresser I will need to say no to on my journey. I need to learn to speak up for myself now.

 

[guyanesesista]

I say don't go to her. If you do go tell her you don't want your hair cut and if she insists tell her she won't get paid because you received a service you didn't ask for or that you'll cut her with them same scissors.

 

[Aicer]

Yea just don't go to her, find someone else if you're that nervous.

That's better than having all your progress cut off

 

[geejay]

Plus, my sister is one of her clients as well and my sister was in tears after a "trim" from this woman a couple of weeks ago. In fact, my sister, used to have long, thick, apl hair- but since going to this woman- I haven't seen any progress in my sisters hair.

This is a MAJOR red flag. I would strongly urge you to consider the evidence of your sister's experience and rethink this visit. The problems this stylist represents may go beyond being scissor-happy and into poor hair care skills.

If you do go to her (please don't!), discuss what services you want and don't want before you sit in the chair.

 

[melissa-bee]

Can you just say to her you only want your hair relaxed and straightened but no style and cut?
You could make up something like you are putting your hair in braids or something and the ends do not matter.

 

[napbella]

You already said you are non-confrontational, so you don't really want to even deal with this. You know in your heart she is going to cut your hair, she already jacked your sister, what more evidence do you need. You've done a great job with your stretch--just find someone else or maybe ask your sister. Everyone here knows what will happen if you end up going to her.

 

[discodumpling]

Tell her exactly what you want done. Then tell her if she cuts ANYTHING you will CUT HER and smile sweetly when you say it!

77 weeks is nothing to sneeze at. I think you should leave the salon with exactly hpw much hair you cam in with. Go home and sleep on it (literally & figuratively) before deciding just how much to cut/trim. DO NOT LET THIS STRANGE STYLIST *** UP YOUR PROGRESS~!!!

 

[reeko43]

To me the issue to.be addressed is that fact that you have problems saying no regarding YOUR hair. When you get over whatever it is that is.keeping you from.being assertive about.what matters to.you, you will not need tips.or tricks. I think that others gave you great advice to.go to someone else and state up front what you want and don't want. If you.can't you should hold off on getting your hair done until you can stand up for yourself.

 

[ToSelahWithLove]

I agree with many of the other posters when they say to go to another stylist. If you know you are non-confrontational and that she has already decided to cut your hair no matter what you said earlier, then that's going to be a no-win situation for you.

If going to another stylist is really not an option... well... don't fall asleep in the chair. Vigilance, always! LOL

 

[ToSelahWithLove]

Can you just say to her you only want your hair relaxed and straightened but no style and cut?
You could make up something like you are putting your hair in braids or something and the ends do not matter.

I forgot about this! I've used that to avoid a bad press before -- I was new to her, and she started off badly (was using bad methods when combing my hair out and spouting that ridiculous "how to grow hair" ish, i.e. keep it dirty) and I knew she was going to suck, so I told her to forget the press and just blowdry me, since I was going to go get it braided right after. I then went to another salon to get it pressed. A hassle, yes. But hey. At least I didn't risk her messing me up.

 

[Leeda.the.Paladin]

Don't go to her. Do a search and find all of the posts of ladies crying over "trims" even tho they told the stylists not to.


Sent from my iPhone using LHCF

 

[goodwinmd1]

I wouldn't go to her. Where are you from? Maybe someone here knows a great stylist you can get your relaxer from.

 

[*CherryPie*]

Go to her and get your hair cut off. Because if you're grown and can't tell somebody who's about to cut your hair off no, then maybe you'll learn after it's cut off. Or, go somewhere else if you're that frightened. But if you're scared of everybody, learn to do it yourself.

 

[tolly]

if you must go to her don't allow her trim at all, not even half an inch, she'll just mess up your progress. You can trim your hair yourself later. Just to add my post to all the above warning you

 

[niqu92]

could u ask your sis to relax it for you???at 77 wks i would want someone i trust to relax it because they might get impatient and just relax your whole head including your already relaxed ends

and then after you can go to a dominican salon and get it styled?i mentioned a dominican salon because ive seen people walk into dominican salons with freshly washed hair and just asked for it to be roller setted/styled

 

[SmilingElephant]

DON'T GO!

Do it yourself!

 

[beans4reezy]

I wouldn't go to her. Where are you from? Maybe someone here knows a great stylist you can get your relaxer from.

I'm in Long Island, NY. The reason I go to her is because she applies the Jazma Wash N Wear relaxer and I haven't found another hair dresser in Brooklyn or Queens that is certified to apply it.

 

[beans4reezy]

Can you just say to her you only want your hair relaxed and straightened but no style and cut?
You could make up something like you are putting your hair in braids or something and the ends do not matter.

I love this right here! Love it. I will ask her to relax and straighten, that's it and walk my happy behind into a Domincan salon. That's it. That "shape your hair for the style" nonsense just doesn't sit well with me.

I will have her relax, blow dry, and I'm out.

 

[Tamster]

If you have to go to this woman, tell her you do not want a trim AT ALL. just dont get your hair trimmed. No scissors sshould be anywhere near your head. either dothat, or just find another stylist

 

[southerncitygirl]

find someone else to do your hair. you can go to a place like jcpenney's salon, supercuts or hair cuttery for a trim and they will cut off exactly what you ask. or you can get a relaxer and style and trim yourself.

 

[beans4reezy]

@beans4reezy

Do you have any tips for successfully stretching for so long? Thanks in advance...

Best advice I can give is low manipulation and weekly, to bi weekly light protien, then moisturizing treatments.

Usually, I bun my hair for the week, or pin it up and every week, I would use the Aphogee 2 min reconstrutor and would follow that up with any moisturizing DC I have on hand.

But I don't comb/style daily and my moisture game is on point. I moisturize every single day.

HTH