Saved from a Life of Lesbianism

divya

Well-Known Member
Lesbian, gang leader, prison inmate, abandoned in Jamaica, sexually assaulted at age nine by a female, raped at 13 by an older man and raped again by her brother-in-law. Michelle Smith's tale is a painful and harrowing one of a life gone terribly wrong

By Renee Cummings

Saturday, October 3rd 2009

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Michelle Smith has put God back in business. This is not your ordinary I-found-Jesus-Christ-and-got-saved story. If anything, it leaves you wondering whether Jesus Christ is still this good at performing miracles.

"I could feel the demonic forces leaving me," she said. "And when the spirit of lesbianism left me I saw myself as a woman again."

She had prayed for two weeks straight - begging the Holy Spirit. "God if you are real I want to know. I want to know you Lord." It was a desperate cry. "Let me know you. I want to know you." she begged.

Then, one strange Sunday, she ran up to the altar. "I started to talk in tongues. A volcano erupted from the pit of my stomach. I was thinking in English, but it wasn't coming out in English," she said. As I sat watching her and wondering to myself what was really going on here? she quickly assured me, "I'm a rational thinking woman. I'm not crazy."

"I came into the church a man and people saw me leaving as a woman."

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She was dead serious when she said she used to walk like a man, talk like a man, act like a man, dress like a man, and pursue women like a man. "I used to wear boxers. I used to wear men's socks. I never wore anything feminine," she revealed. "I was the biggest lesbian in Jamaica."

In homophobic Jamaica, Smith said, "she was brazen with it."

Being female was certainly a chromosomal bore for Smith. She had other plans for her libido. "I had penis envy." For as long as she could remember, Smith believed she was a man trapped in a woman's body. "I thought I was a man. I wanted to take hormone shots."

The female body in which she was born didn't match her own inner conviction and mental image of the man she thought she was. She lived her life off the sensation of thinking she was a man. But she felt a different kind of sensation that morning when the Holy Spirit touched her. "I felt every sin I committed," she said. That same Sunday six years ago she looked deep into the mirror hoping to find answers. What she found in the mirror was even more shocking. "I didn't see the man I thought I was. I saw a confused woman. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know who I was."

She was not a believer and had always questioned the Bible "up until this life transforming moment." "My body felt like a new body. I no longer saw myself as a man. I saw curves on me!" She was petrified. "I was talking to God and he was talking back to me," she said. "I was crying and sobbing."

Smith confessed that she was always very indifferent about God. She wasn't raised in a Christian home but had tried to find God once before when she was in prison, in Holland, on a drug trafficking charge. And a time before that, she had called His name a few times, in sheer panic, after smoking a deadly dose of crack cocaine that nearly, according to her, "knocked her heart out."

Over the years, she had come up with so many justifications for her illicit lifestyle.

"But what I had was an inferior mindset."

She described herself as a "sponge" soaking up everything negative in her environment. "Growing up, there was emptiness in my life, a void that I was trying to fill."

She gravitated to a criminal crowd and repeatedly broke the law to get money and respect.

Forty-one years ago, her Trinidadian mother conceived her and left her in Jamaica. Her father is Jamaican. She grew up motherless and often fatherless since her father spent most of his days asleep and nights in a small raunchy club of which he was the proprietor. Her home life was in chaos and school couldn't hold her attention. Her father tried sending her away to stay with family. Not even that worked.

Her early memories of her mother are scattered. But she does remember buying drugs for her mother and actually doing drugs with her mother on one of her few visits to Jamaica. She explained that she never knew love but she knew every dysfunction a family could possibly have. She was molested by a female cousin at nine and raped by an older man at 13. She was also raped by her brother-in-law. Fill in the blanks.

At a young age she became the breadwinner of the family. She hustled a few older men in between for some cash here and there. She got herself in all kinds of trouble. Still in her early teens, Smith was seduced by a stripper and held against her will and forced to perform sexual acts and assist the stripper in servicing her clientele.

One day she ran away, ended up on the streets, and stayed there. She became a stone cold criminal. "I lived a gang leader lifestyle," she said in a strong Jamaican accent taking me on a mind-blowing mental trip into her gruesome gangster days. "My eyes used to be like steel but they became soft again."

Her just released book From Lesbianism to Grace is about the power of change. If miracles do happen then Michelle Smith's story is living proof. Hell was where she called home and now she is speaking of heaven. From a wretched soul living life in the underbelly of society, she has made it to the pulpit preaching on the unintended consequences of "being seduced by her own lust."

She has not had any kind of sex or any sexual contact for the last six years, since the Sunday she was saved.

"I no longer need sex to survive."

For the first time in her adult life men now look appealing and interesting. "I didn't like men but with my re-birth I now find them attractive. I now feel comfortable around them."

As she strives to cultivate her femininity, Smith says her book is for "people suffering in silence who are ashamed. This books is about hope," she smiled. She also hopes to find true love, marriage, and possibly a family of her own. "I'm looking for someone on my level."

Now living in Trinidad and working as a missionary with Evangelical Outreach International, Smith, an ordained reverend, teaches religious instruction at several schools in South Trinidad. She describes her transformation as a metamorphosis "a cocoon releasing a butterfly. " "It's wonderful to be me. I no longer have an inferior mindset. I'm no longer confused. I am now very much alive." Â

From Lesbianism to Grace is available online at Book Publisher, Book Publishers, Publishing Your Book, Publishing Companies, Christian Book Publisher, Christian Book Publishers, Christian Publishing | Tate Publishing and to order the book locally call 657-0302 or 330-8009.

Renee Cummings MA, MS, MSEd, CRC is a criminologist, psychologist, rehabilitation specialist, and substance abuse therapist. She is also a television and radio personality who just cannot get journalism out of her blood.

Trinidad News, Trinidad Newspaper, Trinidad Sports, Trinidad politics, Trinidad and Tobago, Tobago News, Trinidad classifieds, Trinidad TV, Sports, Business
 
That's a very powerful testimony! Satan tried hard to keep this one from doing what she was born to do...serve God and bring others to Him. Praise God for her breakthrough.

Thanks for posting this powerful testimony, divya! :bighug:

:rosebud:
 
That's a very powerful testimony! Satan tried hard to keep this one from doing what she was born to do...serve God and bring others to Him. Praise God for her breakthrough.

Thanks for posting this powerful testimony, divya! :bighug:

:rosebud:

You're welcome! Isn't it wonderful? The devil would have us believe that certain lifestyles are unchangeable but our God is greater than that!!! She is a living testimony of the power of our God!
 
Thank you for sharing this post Divya...

God is still God and He is more powerful than any bondage in any human life and this is proof of it. Contrary to anyone's denial, God can and does and will deliver his beloved humanity from any sin or bondage. He love is just that strong for each of us, no matter who we are or whatever sin we are in.

There are several powerful testimonies of those who have been fully delivered from the sin of this lifestyle. satan is wrong; he cannot keep God's deliverance withheld from those who seek it.

Here are a few others whose lives have been changed and by the love and power of God:

www.theevidenceministry.com

www.peoplecanchange.com

www.lovewonout.com

Right now the enemy has been rooting far to many 'seeds' of deception that a gay lifestyle is to be nothing other than accepted and cannot be corrected. But then, the devil is a liar and there is no truth in him.

There IS indeed freedom and deliverance for anyone who wants it from anything and my heartfelt prayers and support are wtih them all, 1000%.

No sin is set in stone. None, absolutely none. Neither can any sin stand against the Blood of Jesus for sin is not of God, therefore it cannot stand, there is freedom from it all no matter what it is; homosexuality is not the DNA of any human being, therefore there is deliverance.

Jesus loves homosexuals and He died to set them free along with everyone else; for they are no less loved and adored by God.

Praise the Name of Jesus! When Jesus died on the cross He died for deliverance of ALL sins, not some, but 'all'. Bless His Holy Name, Jesus.

For anyone in any sin, there is therefore no condemation, only God's love and His powerful deliverance and restoration. :Rose:
 
Thank you for sharing this post Divya...

God is still God and He is more powerful than any bondage in any human life and this is proof of it. Contrary to anyone's denial, God can and does and will deliver his beloved humanity from any sin or bondage. He love is just that strong for each of us, no matter who we are or whatever sin we are in.

There are several powerful testimonies of those who have been fully delivered from the sin of this lifestyle. satan is wrong; he cannot keep God's deliverance withheld from those who seek it.

Here are a few others whose lives have been changed and by the love and power of God:

www.theevidenceministry.com

www.peoplecanchange.com

www.lovewonout.com

Right now the enemy has been rooting far to many 'seeds' of deception that a gay lifestyle is to be nothing other than accepted and cannot be corrected. But then, the devil is a liar and there is no truth in him.

There IS indeed freedom and deliverance for anyone who wants it from anything and my heartfelt prayers and support are wtih them all, 1000%.

No sin is set in stone. None, absolutely none. Neither can any sin stand against the Blood of Jesus for sin is not of God, therefore it cannot stand, there is freedom from it all no matter what it is; homosexuality is not the DNA of any human being, therefore there is deliverance.

Jesus loves homosexuals and He died to set them free along with everyone else; for they are no less loved and adored by God.

Praise the Name of Jesus! When Jesus died on the cross He died for deliverance of ALL sins, not some, but 'all'. Bless His Holy Name, Jesus.

For anyone in any sin, there is therefore no condemation, only God's love and His powerful deliverance and restoration. :Rose:

Beautiful...this is a truly Christian perspective. Homosexuals need to know they are loved by God and by those who truly strive adopt His character. And most of all, all of us need to know that the Lord can do for anything of us if we only allow Him to take control.
Thank you sharing those websites. So many people have overcome by the grace of God.

:bighug:
 
Beautiful...this is a truly Christian perspective. Homosexuals need to know they are loved by God and by those who truly strive adopt His character. And most of all, all of us need to know that the Lord can do for anything of us if we only allow Him to take control.
Thank you sharing those websites. So many people have overcome by the grace of God.

:bighug:
Thanks Divya... this is such an important message. Thank you so much for posting this thread.

I praise God that only His love shines through and that it helps someone to be set free and not be ashamed or hinderd. For they are truly loved. :Rose:
 
I wonder how many homosexuals male and female have a history of sexual abuse in their lives? It seems that more and more are coming out with sexual abuse history. Her Testimony is awesome.

ETA: I see that she is a counselor, I am certain that she had a chance to work out those childhood issues of rejection etc. Bishop was talking about how some things are spiritual and others are clinical. We can cast out the demons but we have to deal with what's left, low-self esteem, abuse etc. CAst it out and then talk it out!
 
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What a great story of deliverance, thanks for sharing. God can do everything but fail.
 
The "world" hates to see stories like this... One thing that I don't like is the new movement of homosexuality, and how it is supposed to be genetic, etc. The abuse to me is a part of the story that is never told, as most homosexuals that I know(I know this is not true for all) have been abused as children... Stories like this are like a slap in Satan's face. God still wins!!!
 
There's hope and help for all of us. Nothing that any of us has ever done can separate us from the love of God.

Sending hugs and hope.
 
Amen, Yodie,

Whether it's lesbianism or alcoholism or a broken marriage or unmanageable children or lost loves or dealing with a death or an untamed tongue or selfishness or wrecked finances or spiritual complacency or infertility or stress... the list could go on and on.

We all have burdens to bear, our own demons to fight, our own challenges and no one problem is worst or better than another. If none of us had problems, we'd not be human....

but when we surrender those problems to God...his Grace brings peace in our hearts and an understanding that nothing in life bring. No pill, no doctor, no drink, no person or thing can bring that kind of peace in our lives...Only Jesus can.

Only in God's arms we can still have problems and count them all joy! It's a great way to live.

God bless
:bighug:

There's hope and help for all of us. Nothing that any of us has ever done can separate us from the love of God.

Sending hugs and hope.
 
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