What does she mean when she says he lacks vision? Does she have a vision for herself? It doesn't sound like it. Has it ever occurred to her that maybe he does have vision, but he can't move forward with it because her lack of contributions to their household leaves him little time to do anything else? She sounds selfish and lazy. Underneath all that she is probably battling depression. It sounds like she is still dealing with the effects of the rape.
Frankly, he wouldn't be missing much if she moved out. In fact, he might be better off.
I'm a SAHM and I don't think I could live my life the way your family member is living hers and have a clear conscious. I handle most things related to the house (cooking, cleaning, all shopping, help kids with homework, after school activities, field trips, parent/teacher conferences,classroom parent, etc...). Occasionally, I take the vehicle I drive to get cleaned if he doesn't have time, I take care of the flower beds in our yard, but I do NOT mow the lawn. That's not my thing. I'm sure I do more, but it escapes me right now. All of that is a full-time job for me. My husband's job is stressful and demanding. As his partner, I don't want him to come home to a messy home, kids needing help with homework, no food on the stove, etc... I want him to feel like our home is a place he can unwind and not go from dealing with stress on the job to dealing with stress because I'm not pulling my weight.