Remind me to Keep my Mouth Shut

[PuffyBrown]

So I am talking to a friend at work that just happens to be a stylist. We were commenting on hair products. Everything going fine until I stated that I washed my hair twice a week. She was like, "oh your are washing your hair much" black people dont this or that... I am like blah h blah because I knew what she was going to say. Why did I tell her that I did not use shampoo anymore...I told her about the shikaiki poo bar, I said well I am not using shampoo anyway.....why did I tell her that I was doing CW's? I dont know whether or not to be frustrated or offended that people think that they can tell other people what to do.

In part I know that she meant well but also, at some point I wanted to be like so you are a damn stylist. I will say that she keeps her hair looking good. I am just "show" her what I am talking about and that it really doesnt make a difference that I wash my hair more than 1x per week. It was just frustrating hearing that like "she was right" and I was wrong. I hate that.
I was telling her my hair products and the one's that she "had not heard of" she was like sneering. I was like stupid A$$, just because she was getting on my nerves, but I didnt mean it. (I said it under my breath)
She has heard of Nexxus but she said that she had not heard of the Keraphix. I am like saying to myself. I just acted like I was listening to her.

She does use some really good products and she actually did a great job on my last perm and trim. I havent decided if she is going to leave my regular stylist and go to her. I really want to say just do my hair and shut up.



Anybody else having to deal with this right now?

 

[locabouthair]

Girl i dont tell nobody nothing about haircare. I learned to keep my mouth shut and to hide my products when my friend saw I was using s curl, which worked GREAT when I was natural. My friend (RIP) got on me HARD about using it. I'm like dag is it that serious?

Never again i said, never again.

I would have looked at her crazy too if she's a stylist and never heard of nexxus keraphix.

 

[Je Ne Sais Quoi]

Honestly I don't deal with this concern. No one gets on my case. Maybe because my hair is thriving and looking pretty great. Or maybe they just don't want to hear me talk about it so they keep quiet

 

[tiffers]

Stylists get on my nerves, thinkin they know everything. I'm like, if you know so damn much, why are 99% of your clients SL and above with weaves and brown gel-helmet hairdos?

 

[MizzBrown]

You shouldve kept your mouth shut! LOL

And what is with this washing black hair too often? My sister gets an attitude when she sees me washing it more than once a week.

****, if your hair is dirty you wash it! She can walk around with God knows what on her hair and scalp but not me. Not sanitary and not good for hair....at least not my hair.

I dont say anything. People comment and i say "thank you!" and keep it moving. They ask what i use i say "stuuufff, i cant remember, i try so much stuff..." or "just regular shampoo and conditioner".

And why are stylists so ignorant nowadays? I dont get it..My stylist is cool and i dont say much to her..just sit in the chair and let her do her magic. If she has any concerns she'll voice them.

 

[Firstborn2]

I feel your pain, my bestfriend is a stylist. Everytime I tell her about something I learned from this site, she looks at me and roll her I'z,asking me why am I taking haircare advice from ppl I don't know and who don't have a license, so when all of my hair fall out don't come crawling back to her for help. Leave haircare to the professional. But yet my hair is in the best health it has been in in years!!!

 

[JerriBlank]

You shouldve kept your mouth shut! LOL

And what is with this washing black hair too often? My sister gets an attitude when she sees me washing it more than once a week.

****, if your hair is dirty you wash it! She can walk around with God knows what on her hair and scalp but not me. Not sanitary and not good for hair....at least not my hair.

I dont say anything. People comment and i say "thank you!" and keep it moving. They ask what i use i say "stuuufff, i cant remember, i try so much stuff..." or "just regular shampoo and conditioner".

And why are stylists so ignorant nowadays? I dont get it..My stylist is cool and i dont say much to her..just sit in the chair and let her do her magic. If she has any concerns she'll voice them.

I do this sometimes when i know the person is just looking to criticize.

Stylists get on my nerves, thinkin they know everything. I'm like, if you know so damn much, why are 99% of your clients SL and above with weaves and brown gel-helmet hairdos?

Right!!! Isn't that evidence enough of how much your really know about "haircare?"

 

[kuwait]

Girl that is why i don't talk haircare with anyone!!!!! Honey, once she see's your hair dragging the floor, she will be begging you to give her haircare advise!

 

[gone_fishing]

I just had a similar convo with my styliyst (she's mid forties) this weekend. She's a sweetheart but she loves to micromanage my hair. I'm just at APL and the first thing she tried to do was tell me I need to cut 4 inches of my hair. My hair is healthy so I wasn't understanding why. But, she told me that last 4 inches of hair is dead hair so I need to get rid of it so my hair can grow. erplexed She said if I don't...those 4 inches will fall off by themselves (I thought - fine - let's wait until that happens )

But, I didn't say anything - I just told her a trim - no more than half an inch thanks...and that's what she did (for the first time)

I'm thinking isn't just about ALL of my hair "dead" hair so to speak and my hair doesn't grow from my ends it grows from my scalp.

Anyways, I told her about my co-washing and my protein treatments and she also said I'm washing my hair too much. She said that's not necessary and using so much conditioner will "melt" - yes she said melt - my hair. I had never heard that before. Does anyone know what she's talking about?

I do it about every other day and I deep condition two times a week.

When I asked her not to use a fine toothed comb to do my wrap she got a little irritated but she did switch combs.

I really feel like the more I'm on this site - I'm learning more about hair (my hair anyways) than she knows. I wonder what they teach them at these schools. I mean do they really teach them blacks have limitations on hair, etc. etc. ?

I felt like it was a rather hostile visit even though she's a nice lady and I don't think I'll be going back to her anytime soon. At least not until May.

 

[PuffyBrown]

This is why it gets on my nerves so much because of what we have learned about hair on this site and have hair healthy as ever and most stylists clients customers have hair that is just on the brink of falling completly off their head. Dead hair...give me a break.

I just had a similar convo with my styliyst (she's mid forties) this weekend. She's a sweetheart but she loves to micromanage my hair. I'm just at APL and the first thing she tried to do was tell me I need to cut 4 inches of my hair. My hair is healthy so I wasn't understanding why. But, she told me that last 4 inches of hair is dead hair so I need to get rid of it so my hair can grow. erplexed She said if I don't...those 4 inches will fall off by themselves (I thought - fine - let's wait until that happens )

But, I didn't say anything - I just told her a trim - no more than half an inch thanks...and that's what she did (for the first time)

I'm thinking isn't just about ALL of my hair "dead" hair so to speak and my hair doesn't grow from my ends it grows from my scalp.

Anyways, I told her about my co-washing and my protein treatments and she also said I'm washing my hair too much. She said that's not necessary and using so much conditioner will "melt" - yes she said melt - my hair. I had never heard that before. Does anyone know what she's talking about?

I do it about every other day and I deep condition two times a week.

When I asked her not to use a fine toothed comb to do my wrap she got a little irritated but she did switch combs.

I really feel like the more I'm on this site - I'm learning more about hair (my hair anyways) than she knows. I wonder what they teach them at these schools. I mean do they really teach them blacks have limitations on hair, etc. etc. ?

I felt like it was a rather hostile visit even though she's a nice lady and I don't think I'll be going back to her anytime soon. At least not until May.

 

[Miss*Tress]

I don't discuss the products I use between salon visits with my stylist. I just once complimented him on the good advice he gave me about wearing protective styles at shoulder length. Stylists (even "bad" ones) do have professional pride and some may not know how to manifest it in a diplomatic manner when presented with alternative methods, hence the mockery and put-downs. This is a bit like the disdain a conventional GP might show for homeopathy or acupuncture.

When talking about hair care off the board, know your audience!

 

[wannabelong]

Yeah, I learned to keep my mouth shut too. My mom and my fiance are always making negative comments about me and my hair. So I know if they have negative comments then other people will too. I can't wait until I have hair grazing my butt then they'll shut their mouth.

 

[HoneyA]

I never told my stylist how I take care of my hair between salon visits but she and other people in the salon comment on how thick and long it is. I just don't want to get into a debate about what is right and what is wrong for our hair because I already know what's right for my hair and I'm sticking with that.

 

[cutenappygrl]

Wow - I thought I was the only one who has difficulty explaining my hair routine to people. I am embarrassed to say that i have gotten in the habit of just lying to people about my hair. I just tell them I use organic root stimulator products when I don't - not that there is anything wrong w/ those products. Just how do you explain prepooing w/ olive oil, shampooing w/ Dr. Bonners, twisting w/ a shea butter, aloe vera gel mix,, clarifying with baking soda/ACV, and etc. ORS seems to be the only thing people understand - so that's why I just say that. And when people ask me how often I wash it I say once a week and leave out water rinsing daily - b/c I know they won't get that either.

 

[Cleve_gryl]

The only people I discuss hair and/or products with are you guys . No one else understands co-washing or DCing after every wash, let alone putting cooking oils or herbs in your hair. I just keep my treasures to myself...unless they ask, and then I still know they're going to look at me like .

 

[MizAvalon]

The only people I discuss hair and/or products with are you guys . No one else understands co-washing or DCing after every wash, let alone putting cooking oils or herbs in your hair. I just keep my treasures to myself...unless they ask, and then I still know they're going to look at me like .

Same here. I just don't even bother discussing haircare with anyone anymore.

Years ago I was thinking of trying Bed Head products and I asked my stylist at the time if she knew anything about them. She said that they were for people that want that "messy look".erplexed

If you don't know then just say you don't know. Sheesh.

 

[MrsQueeny]

I had this chick try to come at me sideways once too about my hair. Then I told her "I am obviously doing something right because my hair is growing and yours is still the same length it was when I cut mine." That shut her up real quick!!! Forget them. That is your hair and no one knows it better than you. Q

 

[JerriBlank]

I just had a similar convo with my styliyst (she's mid forties) this weekend. She's a sweetheart but she loves to micromanage my hair. I'm just at APL and the first thing she tried to do was tell me I need to cut 4 inches of my hair. My hair is healthy so I wasn't understanding why. But, she told me that last 4 inches of hair is dead hair so I need to get rid of it so my hair can grow. erplexed She said if I don't...those 4 inches will fall off by themselves (I thought - fine - let's wait until that happens )

But, I didn't say anything - I just told her a trim - no more than half an inch thanks...and that's what she did (for the first time)

I'm thinking isn't just about ALL of my hair "dead" hair so to speak and my hair doesn't grow from my ends it grows from my scalp.

Anyways, I told her about my co-washing and my protein treatments and she also said I'm washing my hair too much. She said that's not necessary and using so much conditioner will "melt" - yes she said melt - my hair. I had never heard that before. Does anyone know what she's talking about?

I do it about every other day and I deep condition two times a week.

When I asked her not to use a fine toothed comb to do my wrap she got a little irritated but she did switch combs.

I really feel like the more I'm on this site - I'm learning more about hair (my hair anyways) than she knows. I wonder what they teach them at these schools. I mean do they really teach them blacks have limitations on hair, etc. etc. ?

I felt like it was a rather hostile visit even though she's a nice lady and I don't think I'll be going back to her anytime soon. At least not until May.

WHAT IN THE HEEZY?????
Four inches???????
That is one of the most absurd things i have heard
She seems soooo pushy.I don't like that at all.
Adequate,hike your skirt up and run!

 

[Dposh167]

~I once told my friends I wash my hair every weekend...
and their response was:burning:. (they act like i told them i was shaving my head or sumthing.) "u wash ur hair every weeknd..oh nooo i would atleast wait every 2 weeks".


~Then one day in the salon my stylist asked what i was doing to my hair that made it get so much healthier....i told her quickly "i just stopped using mineral oil and petroletum" (thinking she must know what im talking about)

her response: "oh really...what's that?
me:

 

[wannabelong]

~I once told my friends I wash my hair every weekend...
and their response was:burning:. (they act like i told them i was shaving my head or sumthing.) "u wash ur hair every weeknd..oh nooo i would atleast wait every 2 weeks".


~Then one day in the salon my stylist asked what i was doing to my hair that made it get so much healthier....i told her quickly "i just stopped using mineral oil and petroletum" (thinking she must know what im talking about)

her response: "oh really...what's that?
me:

And these are supposed to be professionals who we should go to for hair care information. What are they learning in cosmotology school? I am truly amazed at the lack of knowledge they have. WOW!

 

[br0wney3z]

I am really done talking to people about my haircare. I was at work the other day and one of my co-workers stops by my cubicle and sees me perusing through the site, this is like the 3-4 time she has 'caught' me on here in the past few days. She had asked the first time what site I was on and I told her what the site is about etc. Mind you she claims she's a beautician, but I've never seen her hair b/c she stays in lacefronts (not that well done either).

Anyways, so this day she comes in and she starts in on how I am always on the site blah blah blah, wait till she gets her 'salon' up and running again b/c she is going to have me come in, and I'm thinking to myself . Then as if to challenge me, she asks me to name a few things I've learned about haircare since joining!!! So I start rattling off about protein treatments, protective styling, moisturizing, stretching etc etc. The more I go on, the more I see her face start to change; I soon realized that it is b/c this woman has NO idea what I'm talking about and she's suppose to be a stylist. At that point I just shut my mouth and quickly changed the subjects.....by asking her when she was getting her newest lacefront

 

[br0wney3z]

And these are supposed to be professionals who we should go to for hair care information. What are they learning in cosmotology school? I am truly amazed at the lack of knowledge they have. WOW!

I was just thinking the same thing the other day. Not to say anything bad about the education that they receive and all, but I feel like half the ladies on here (if not more) could be able to start a business based on the knowledge learned from this site alone. I mean really though, I would love to sit in on a class about relaxing techinques just to see what the heck they are telling these ppl.

 

[wannabelong]

I was just thinking the same thing the other day. Not to say anything bad about the education that they receive and all, but I feel like half the ladies on here (if not more) could be able to start a business based on the knowledge learned from this site alone. I mean really though, I would love to sit in on a class about relaxing techinques just to see what the heck they are telling these ppl.

Exactly, that's why I fired my stylist after finding this site. I look back on all my salon visits with horror. She did so many things wrong but then again, I didn't know any better either so I can't put all the blame on her. If I ever go to a stylist again, he/she'll have to be one of Nikos' cousins.

 

[NYAmicas]

I like to share all I've learned but it seems like people just want to stay in the dark. This weekend I allowed my SIL to put a relaxer in my hair. Now my hair is super thick and I hadn't done a good job when I relaxed it before so it was looking a hot mess when we went to her house. I tried to avoid letting her do it but I was tired of struggling with it and they pressured me so I let them. Everyone is watching as she is figting through the tangles and I'm telling them about stretching and they're looking horrified. My husband is sitting there smiling with glee because he doesnt agree with me about the stretching either. Now my SIL can style but she doesnt know a thing about proper hair care. Her edges are gone and she is bald in some places while her 3 year old daughter has relaxed hair that is pretty short and thin.

So she's ripping through my hair to get the relaxer through til I politely gave her a new comb-she still was ripping through with my comb. I think because I have so much hair and to them its long, all the hair being torn out doesnt matter. My hair was on FIRE but she wanted to keep combing it through. Finally I went to wash it out and there is NO CONDITIONER in the house. Shampoo up the hizzle but no Conditioner. I cant tell them anything because even though my hair is growing I have a hard time maintaining it so they wont listen.

And my SIL is going to cosmetology school.

 

[Dposh167]

Exactly, that's why I fired my stylist after finding this site.

u did!!! that's too funny!

i didn't fire mine cuz she does my relaxers very well. But I stopped letting her do everything else. I told her she can relax it, rollerset it, and wrap it...BUT THAT'S IT!.(if i'm having a good day i'll let her finger comb the curls out cuz she likes to use small width combs). BUT THAT'S ALL!. no trim, not style, no nothing else.

All the other ladies walk outta the salon with their nice stylish hairstyles and I'm walking out in nothing but a wrap and bobby pins. i don't care tho, cuz when i look back at the floor, I KNOW that none of that hair is mine.

 

[SUPER SWEET]

I've gotten in the bitter debates with stylists and women about hair care practices. At my old job I would see such hair abominations I would get sick I have been suprised by how my old city doesnt embrace rollersets and protein treatments

 

[ladylibra]

this is my new analogy... a stylist is like a cosmetic surgeon. their expertise is making you look good, not necessarily about making you healthy.

 

[blue_flower]

Stylists get on my nerves, thinkin they know everything. I'm like, if you know so damn much, why are 99% of your clients SL and above with weaves and brown gel-helmet hairdos?

THANK YOU!!!

 

[tbaby_8]

As I have said on other threads, stylist are not taught a whole lot about different products and they don't spend enough time on them either. They teach cosmetology students enough to pass state board. Everything else a stylist learns is either from trial and error or from other stylist. Sometimes they learn good things, but alot of times they learn terrible techniques. And many stylist become set in their ways and start becoming money hungry and do not want to learn new ways of doing things and will not change their methods for anyone, not even to benefit their clients. It is sad. But not all stylist are bad. Some(far and few between) do want to help their clients gain and maintain healthy hair. But we get a bad rap from bad, money hungry, triflin stylist.

 

[blue_flower]

I've gotten in the bitter debates with stylists and women about hair care practices. At my old job I would see such hair abominations I would get sick I have been suprised by how my old city doesnt embrace rollersets and protein treatments

No one in my city even knows what a rollerset is.