Religion and Relationships

[TinyBlu]

I was reading another thread and someone mentioned the impact of religion on relationships and it got me thinking....

How important is it.... especially in the black community?

Let me start off by clarifying that I am a Southern Girl, born and raised in the South and your religion is something you wear like a badge in the south. So much so that it has definitely deterred me from relationships.

At the age of 30, I really struck out on my own and realized that I just didn't fit the mold of traditional religion. Rather, I am more of an open minded, higher power, love mother earth, meditation type of girl... this is definitely a turn off for black men. (at least Southern Ones). Pair that with my raw foods eating habits and love of nature and hiking, and you have someone who has put herself in the category of "find you a white boy..."

So.... outside of relocating (I HATE the South) which is not an option for me at this time, my options are limited?

Who else has run into similar issues or the other way around?

Do you find that your LOVE of religion has created dating challenges for you (i.e. "equally yoked" mentality, abstinence, etc.)

Or do you find that your seemingly non-traditional religious practices or beliefs have created issues in the dating world?

 

[LovelyNaps26]

Yes, religion has created challenges but the opposite issues you face. I am a Christian and from your post you might fair well in liberal New England and I in the South. Even some of the Christians I've met are pretty liberal and intellectual. I can throw a stone and hit several organic/vegan cafes/markets and the Prius and bicycle seem like the most common modes of transportation Living in one of the most politically liberal and socially liberal places in the country can make finding an equally minded partner interesting to say the least, if one is a Bible believing Christian. I don't think everyone in the South is conservative as I know everyone in my city isn't liberal but there are definite regional differences in general attitudes.

Btw, I'm dating someone right now...who is from the south.

 

[Imani]

Yep, I'm in the same boat as you. A lot of (blk) people down south think some of my interests/eating habits/beliefs are weird/"white". And yes, religion is super important down here to most people. Aren't u in Charlotte, OP? I would think you'd be able to find at least one person who's compatible since its a decent sized city.

Soon I will be relocating to DMV. And will be discussing religion up front when I date someone to go ahead and get it out on the table so as not to waste either person's time.

 

[BlackMasterPiece]

I live in NY so me being more spiritual but not religious, eating clean, being health conscious and looking at things more open-mindedly is just run of the mill. I dont even have to bring it up. What's funny is how people react when they find out I'm a virgin for non-religious reasons that always a doozy.

But yea OP, you need to move up here to the New England area. Your post makes me feel like I wouldn't even wanna vacation in the south

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[TinyBlu]

Yep, I'm in the same boat as you. A lot of (blk) people down south think some of my interests/eating habits/beliefs are weird/"white". And yes, religion is super important down here to most people. Aren't u in Charlotte, OP? I would think you'd be able to find at least one person who's compatible since its a decent sized city.

Soon I will be relocating to DMV. And will be discussing religion up front when I date someone to go ahead and get it out on the table so as not to waste either person's time.

Yes I am in Charlotte, and it is a big "Southern" city with a church on every corner. The only thing men care about here is if you can make collard greens after Sunday service and if you have baby making hips.

Seriously... the question almost always comes up within the first three dates.

Having grown up in the South, there was a time when I didn't think it was out of the ordinary. Then I met some folks from out West and up North and they were sorely offended by the question. Interesting....

 

[TinyBlu]

I live in NY so me being more spiritual but not religious, eating clean, being health conscious and looking at things more open-mindedly is just run of the mill. I dont even have to bring it up. What's funny is how people react when they find out I'm a virgin for non-religious reasons that always a doozy.

But yea OP, you need to move up here to the New England area. Your post makes me feel like I wouldn't even wanna vacation in the south

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I absolutely LOVE the mentality of Yankees (smile)!!! But that weather.... I HATE SNOW!!!!!

I am seriously thinking of relocating to the West. People seem to be way more open minded and health conscious there as well (must we deep fry everything people? GOODNESS!!!)

Feel free to visit, but you will be asked where you attend church rather quickly.... just sayin

 

[Imani]

I absolutely LOVE the mentality of Yankees (smile)!!! But that weather.... I HATE SNOW!!!!!

I am seriously thinking of relocating to the West. People seem to be way more open minded and health conscious there as well (must we deep fry everything people? GOODNESS!!!)

Feel free to visit, but you will be asked where you attend church rather quickly.... just sayin

I actually wanted to move to Cali but more jobs in my field in DMV.

I hate when black people ask if u have "found a church home"?. Like wow how presumptuous of u to assume I go to church.

I feel u on the southern cities. I've lived in or near atl for quite some time and its the same here. They want thick church going women who cook soul food.


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[ladysaraii]

I actually wanted to move to Cali but more jobs in my field in DMV.

I hate when black people ask if u have "found a church home"?. Like wow how presumptuous of u to assume I go to church.

I feel u on the southern cities. I've lived in or near atl for quite some time and its the same here. They want thick church going women who cook soul food.


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Yes!

My dad told me that i should just go to church b/c that's what a lot of my peers do so i should do it as well, even if it was just so I wouldn't be left out of things.

Really? erplexed

 

[TinyBlu]

Don't you know that's where to meet the menseses?

No thanks!!! No church boys for the kid. In fact, I have had more trouble with them keeping their hands to themselves than any of the heathens I've dated!!!!