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Three days is the recommended time between wash (hopefully you used a clarifying shampoo) and relaxer. I trust that you gave yourself a protein treatment as well?
you COULD... but you might want to give your scalp a break. one of the reasons they suggest waiting at least 3 days after washing to relax the hair is to let your scalp rest after all that manipulation. same reason you shouldn't scratch the week before a relaxer. a recently manipulated scalp will burn worse than a scalp that's been left alone for a week or so.
my last relaxer, i washed my hair 4 days before putting the relaxer in, and parts of my scalp were on
My newgrowth can coil up pretty tight because of the water based moisturizer I use. So if its pretty thick, I will do a cowash and roller set to get a tad straighter so that the relaxer application isn't so rough. I just make sure not tough work the scalp very much, just a little massaging with my finger pads. Also, although I don't know your hair and you may have some heavy duty new growth I wouldn't relax any sooner than 8 weeks. HTH
it really differs from person to person. I've washed my hair and then relaxed the next day with no problems. I also relax every 6-8 weeks, which may seem early to some people, but for my hair it's necessary. But to answer the original question, if your scalp is sensitive and irritates easily, wait as long as you can between washing and relaxing. I think I just got a scalp of steel!