Relaxer Mishaps, Past and Present

[Honey Bee]

I keep hearing about terrible perming experiences, like having to leave it on until it burned so badly that you cried, or scabs on scalps, etc. My question is:

What on earth were you doing?!?

I've had a perm, on and off, but mostly on, since I was 10. I never got burns on my scalp, or cried from the pain, or any of those horror stories. My hair never fell out due to the perming process.

I'm asking because, for a hair board hosting both relaxed and natural ladies, there seems to be a lot of misinformation floating around about a chemical process most of us have tried at least once. A compendium of horror stories might prove useful to newbies, or people considering relaxing.

I understand that caring for processed hair (bleached, relaxed, whatever) is a chore at which many fail, including myself, but that's a different topic. So, this is the format, and I'll start it off.

What's your hair type?
Still don't really know, I think 4 a (that's ball-point pen, spring-sized curls, right?).

When did you get your first perm?
Age 10.

Did you get it done by a professional (whether at home or the salon), or a family member/friend? If you chose the latter, were they familiar with the process?
A family friend who seemed to know what she was doing, since my mother let her do it. After that, my mother did it most of the time, but occasionally, I would do it myself, or let the Dominicans do it.

Lye or no-lye? Did you ever switch?
No-lye, always.

On average, did you follow the instructions? or did you add stuff, leave it on longer, etc?
I followed the instructions and left it on the exact amount of time recommended for my hair type.

On average, was your hair in good shape? Were you dc'ing, sleeping in a silk scarf, doing all the right stuff?
Yes and no. I vaguely recall dc'ing, but it was rare, and I slept in a cotton bandana. So, no, my hair was basically stumbling along.

Please share your horror stories, and what you think contributed to them.
None. It never grew past APL, due to substandard maintenance on my part, but not the perm itself.

What are you doing with your hair now?
I'm transitioning to texlaxed, so I can wash and go.

 

[Letta]

I keep hearing about terrible perming experiences, like having to leave it on until it burned so badly that you cried, or scabs on scalps, etc. My question is:

What on earth were you doing?!?

What's your hair type?
I'm not exactly sure but it seems like I have a bit everything

When did you get your first perm?
Like 5 or 6

Did you get it done by a professional (whether at home or the salon), or a family member/friend? If you chose the latter, were they familiar with the process?
I mostly got it done by a professional but I have had the kiddie kind done by my mom and by a family friend. I used 2 sing the little JUST FOR ME song

Lye or no-lye? Did you ever switch?
IDK. I just sat & let them do what they wanted

On average, did you follow the instructions? or did you add stuff, leave it on longer, etc?
They always wanted to leave it on a little longer and it would always go like this:
me: oh it burns can we wash it now?
them: wait a little bit its not that bad.
me*after lik 30 sec*: um...is it time now it really burns?
them: are u sure? I want it in just a little longer
me*after another 25-30 sec* TAKE IT OUT PLEASE I CANT TAKE IT
them: fine okay
On average, was your hair in good shape? Were you dc'ing, sleeping in a silk scarf, doing all the right stuff?
My hair was not in good shape once it was up to me 2 do my own hair. I always 4got 2 tie my hair down or it would come off. I never dc'd

Please share your horror stories, and what you think contributed to them.
The more I got relaxers the more my hair got shorter. It was bad enough my stylist was scissor happy but my hair was breaking off so much. One time they left the relaxer on so long that it destroyed my scalp. My scalp was soooooo raw. Everytime they ran a comb, their fingers, anything through my hair it felt like my scalp was going to burst into flames and fall off and have my brain exposed like those horrible halloween candies. It took almost a month before my scalp stopped being so sensitive. I was scared after that but ended up eventually getting a touch up like clock work

 

[Americka]

What's your hair type?
4a/b

When did you get your first perm?
I had a Jheri curl at 12 and a relaxer at 16.

Did you get it done by a professional (whether at home or the salon), or a family member/friend? If you chose the latter, were they familiar with the process?
A professional handled my chemical services until I was almost 19, then I began to self-relax.

Lye or no-lye? Did you ever switch?
The stylist used lye, but I use only no-lye.

On average, did you follow the instructions? or did you add stuff, leave it on longer, etc?
I thoroughly read the instructions, but I always left the product on longer than required. I never added anything until I found LHCF.

On average, was your hair in good shape? Were you dc'ing, sleeping in a silk scarf, doing all the right stuff?
My hair was not in good shape and even though it was breaking, it would grow beyond shoulder length. I never moisturized, rarely dc'd, occasionally hot oiled, and used a satin pillow case. Plus when I relaxed EVERY four weeks, I always smoothed the relaxer from root to tip. I did this for almost two decades.

Please share your horror stories, and what you think contributed to them.
No horror stories to share. My hair was in poor condition because I chose poor habits. Once I found LHCF and acknowledged the error of my ways, things began to change immediately. I use heat once a week at the most, dc with every wash, moisturize and seal daily, and sleep with a satin wrap and scarf.

 

[Honey Bee]

me*after another 25-30 sec* TAKE IT OUT PLEASE I CANT TAKE IT
them: fine okay

That's foul, and you were supposed to pay those people?! Wow. Stylists get away with treating people any ol' kinda way.

One time they left the relaxer on so long that it destroyed my scalp. My scalp was soooooo raw. Everytime they ran a comb, their fingers, anything through my hair it felt like my scalp was going to burst into flames and fall off and have my brain exposed like those horrible halloween candies.

This is the kind of story I wanted to hear. How long was it left on?

@Americka, your experience mirrors mine in some ways.

 

[Letta]

That's foul, and you were supposed to pay those people?! Wow. Stylists get away with treating people any ol' kinda way.


This is the kind of story I wanted to hear. How long was it left on?

@Americka, your experience mirrors mine in some ways.

I don't even remember. I think my mind blocked it. I was about 11 or 12 at the time I think. I was so stuck on how much it burned that I couldn't even note the time.

People say pain is beauty but no child needs to go through that. At the time I thought relaxers were gonna make me look like all the other girls but even after the relaxer it never did. My dad is nigerian and my mom is black so its a unique blend that I never saw in my friends. I had my first dominican blow out @ 18 and SWORE I was never gonna do that **** again and my mom tricked me into one 4 my graduation. I thought we were going somewhere else THAT **** was just as bad as when I had that bad relaxer. There was lik a 9 or 10 yr old black girl in there and she was flinching or anything but her hair was waist length. So I'm assuming she'd been going so long her scalp was used to it. But after I was done I felt sorry for her. Thats a lot of pain to go through regardless of how long your hair is.

 

[30something]

Thats why i really hate the relaxer process.. it starts burning and they make you wait... my hair is probably already bone straight by that point. I remember one time i they washed it out (early, because of the burning) and it was just as bone straight as any other time

Only mishaps I have is intense burning :burning::burning::burning::burning:... like 9/10 times i get it done. I'm planning to only get a relaxer 4 times a year. Good thing i really like my growth.

 

[prospurr4]

I agree...some of the relaxer horror stories I read about are amazing. I feel blessed that I'm never even come close to some of these situations.

What's your hair type?
4b

When did you get your first perm?
Age 20

Did you get it done by a professional (whether at home or the salon), or a family member/friend? If you chose the latter, were they familiar with the process?
First relaxer was done by a professional at a salon; subsequent touch-ups were done by me.

Lye or no-lye? Did you ever switch?
Lye, always

On average, did you follow the instructions? or did you add stuff, leave it on longer, etc?
I followed the instructions and left it on for the amount of time recommended, or sometimes a few minutes longer, for my hair type when I was relaxing straight. Now that I'm fully texlaxed, I cut processing/smoothing time in half.

On average, was your hair in good shape? Were you dc'ing, sleeping in a silk scarf, doing all the right stuff?
Before the hair boards, my hair was in horrible shape...overprocessed, heat-damaged, dry, broken NL hair. DC?...what's that? I slept on 100% cotton pillowcases with uncovered hair.

Please share your horror stories, and what you think contributed to them.
No horror story. Before the boards, my hair was overprocessed because (out of ignorance) I relaxed the entire length of my hair...every time...because I wanted it very straight. Thank God, I've never had issues with my scalp or burning. I also abused the flat iron and curling iron.

What are you doing with your hair now?
Now, I am texlaxed and loving it soooo much. My hair is heathy and quickly approaching WL.

 

[melissa-bee]

Bump.......

 

[pattyr5]

What's your hair type?
3C/4A

When did you get your first perm?
I got my first relaxer at age 6.

Did you get it done by a professional (whether at home or the salon), or a family member/friend? If you chose the latter, were they familiar with the process?
A lady who ran a salon in a basement of an apartment building applied my first perm. I have no idea where she came from, but I remember only going to her once, after that my mother began doing them at home. My mother had NO CLUE about how to apply a relaxer or even what one was.

Lye or no-lye? Did you ever switch?
At first lye was used but I always cried, so my mom eventually switched to no-lye once she started to get advise from people with my hair texture.

On average, did you follow the instructions? or did you add stuff, leave it on longer, etc?
When I do my own I always read the instructions but even to this day find it very hard to apply it in the amount of time given. About 5 years ago I began to add Sensitive Scalp before I applied the relaxer.

On average, was your hair in good shape? Were you dc'ing, sleeping in a silk scarf, doing all the right stuff?
I never knew anything about maintenance until a few years ago. I always thought Deep conditioning was only done when there was a "problem".

Please share your horror stories, and what you think contributed to them.
The worse experience I ever had was in a salon. A stylist was applying a relaxer and she didn't base my scalp with anything. Now, I deal with psoriasis on my scalp so I always have some kind of irritation. This woman applied the relaxer with a fine tooth comb and kept on smoothing it in with that comb. I felt like she was scraping my scalp with razor blades. I told her to take it out and she didn't want to because she said it wouldnt take. It was only when her manager saw me clenching the chair with tears running down my face that they rinsed me out. My scalp was so raw and burned that EVERYTHING hurt....even the conditioner felt like they poured acid on my scalp. For 5 days I had red oozing spots on my scalp. Y'all know I never went there again!!!!