Relaxed & Texlaxed ladies i am urgently in need of your help!!

[PureSilver]

So i went to get my hair assessed today by a stylist who was recommended to me by a very good friend of mine. I would like to texlax my hair at least 85%-90%. I called the stylist prior to going in and i really did not have to wait one i got through the door.

I told her my hair is virgin hair and gave her a bit of info about my hair, took off my wig and loosened my bun. Now these were my concerns and her responses as follows:

Me: My hair is very fine

Stylist: I can see that. She take a small portion from the front and runs her fingers down the hair from tip to roots.

Me: Is my hair breaking and is it in a healthy condition to be relaxed/texlaxed?

Stylist: No it's not breaking and your hair is in good shape and condition to be relaxed.

Me: Thinking, (the front is the only section she has checked) I told her. I would like my hair to be 80% relaxed but definitely not bone straight and i do not want a texturizer.

Stylist: She shakes her head saying yes like a kinky relaxer

Me: I said i would like some texture to remain and i don't want bone straight hair. I asked, would you use i fine tooth comb to comb through my hair?

Stylist: Yes and i would comb from tips to root starting at the front

Me: Looking confused as hellperplexed. I asked so, wouldn't you start applying the relaxer from the thickest part of my hair?

Me: She gives me a surprised confused look asking me what do i mean. By this time i asked her to go through the rest of my hair and i mentioned that again that my hair is fine and has different textures throughout.

Stylist; She says no.......

M: Ok but i will want you to start relaxing my hair from the middle since its the thickest part

Stylist: ok

I then asked a couple more questions and gave her some more info. I told her that my last protein treatment wash two weeks ago and that i protein treat my hair biweekly. I also mentioned that i do not want my hair to be cut or trimmed because i do that myself. I asked if it was possible to get a rinse the same day i relax or if i could go jet black using Bigen dye. I did mention to her that after she rinses the relaxer that i would like her to give me a protein treatment before she shampoos my hair (i may be wrong in all i told her and asked her) My last question was how soon can i come in to relax since i washed my hair last week friday and i did not do a protein treatment at that time; this was the responses to the rest of my questions and consultation with her.

Stylist remarks, you are giving your hair too much protein and you only need a protein treatment every 13-14 weeks......(huh, you fo real)?? In response to trimming she said she does not cut a client's hair unless they want it to be cut bet she will have to trim the ends after my relaxer....(I'm still scared and not trusting her with a scissors). She did say that a rinse was possible but not dyeing after a relaxer as my hair would break. Re the protein treatment after a relaxer before shampooing she said she could not do that because the protein treatment would revert my hair and the relaxer would bounce right off; she said all her protein treatments are not for same day relaxers and so she could not give me a protein treatment before shampooing me.
I know alot of other ladies mentioned that it was best to wait at least 4 days after washing to get a relaxer. The stylist told me all she needed was 72 hours after washing and my hair should be fine to relax. She told me her work days and hours and i told her i would call her prior to coming in.


Now relaxed & texlaxed Gurus and all knowledgeable ladies on relaxed hair care i need some feedback on my assessment and some suggestions.

I am considering to get another assessment/consultation by a different person before i relax/texlax my hair as i was not comfortable with what she told me based on LHCF standards and the little knowledge i myself have.

 

[RocStar]

With all of your requirements you might be better off just doing it yourself...seriously. That way it will get done the way you want it done.

 

[MileHighDiva]

Op, the stylists' hair philosophy is not jiving with you. So, I would find another stylist or DIY as the previous poster stated. Fine hair thrives on protein, I know mine does. You're probably using a light to medium protein treatment bi-weekly and she thinks you're doing a full blown hard protein tx too frequently. With fine hair I would be leery of of a stylist who doesn't do a mid step protein treatment, before neutralizing.

 

[*CherryPie*]

OP, I don't think you're going to find anyone that's going to go with all of your demands. Maybe if you look for a stylist on the hair boards they'll do it your way. You don't want to anger someone that's going to be relaxing and cutting your hair.

 

[metro_qt]

I know I have 5 textures of hair on my head... And good stylists who understand my hair know that they start on the left hand side of my head , proceed to the right, then do the middle etc...

Or else my hair will fry up.

I've never had a problem with *good* stylists understanding that...

If yours doesn't understand or want to understand your hair textures and how to approach relaxing your hair or any other things you'd like done,

Find a new stylist who knows, and will do your hair appropriately.

Don't come back here with a stylist horror story all because you settled for a stylist who didn't 'get' it..

 

[mshoneyfly]

OP, all the requirements you named are pretty much standard for relaxed ladies on this board (especially DIYers).

The first thing I wondered while reading your post was "what products does she use for relaxer, protein, poo, dc, etc". This way you could research, get reviews and see ingredients.

You weren't comfortable with her answers almost from the beginning so I would not use her as a stylist. Heck! You seemed to be more knowledgable than her!!

If you're determined to have someone else do your hair, you should find another stylist. By all means, shop around! Go to several consultations and ask to see some pics of their work. You know what healthy hair looks like so use that to help you make a decision.

I only know one who does the mid-protein step and she received the Mizani training. That salon only uses Mizani or Affirm (I hated Affirm but loved the Mizani BB). That might be a good indicator of someone who will do what you want.

Keep in mind that stylists are not trained to grow your hair, they are trained to make money from services rendered.

I know its easy to say, DIY but...you can do it!

 

[havilland]

I agree with other posters.

She doesn't seem like a bad stylist but at the end of the day, stylists are going to do what they are trained to do. She is not going to go against what she knows as a professional to suit your tastes.

Find someone else. Or DIY.

You have to be comfortable with your choice.

 

[Guinan]

She didnt seem to bad, just not properly informed of healthy hair practices. I think u can teach her how to do your hair b/c she seems receptive. The problem I see is the protein treatment. Maybe u can ask her if u can bring in your own protein DC & have her use it before neutralizing ur hair.

Another suggestions, like the other posters said, you could DIY. This year was the 1st time me self relaxing. It wasnt as bad as I thought, its just alot of work. I used utuber & fellow LHCF member jenichris23 method of self relaxing.

Good luck!

 

[Nazaneen]

I wouldn't trust anyone to apply chemicals to my hair. Only I know the ins and outs of my hair, the fragile parts, the parts that have a stronger curl pattern etc.
I say take some time to research, watch some Youtube tutorials on texlaxing or just relaxing and do it yourself...

 

[bklynbornNbred]

I think you need to be clearer when you are interviewing. Instead of asking would you use a fine tooth comb to go through my hair (as if its a test) just say you'd prefer if she doesn't use a comb at all given your experience with your fine hair. Its not a crime to do that on virgin hair - the problem with combing relaxers all the way through is during subsequent touchups. Doing this causes double processing of hair that is already done.

Instead of asking about applying relaxer from thickest part advise her again - my texture is different throughout my hair and in the past I've found best results when I do XYZ....it may not be her norm but if you state exactly why you are requesting these things you'd get a better idea of whether she is willing to work with you or not.

Also just speaking on protein she will think you are overdoing it. Were you specific regarding the products you are using? If you told her what you were doing her response may have been different. She may think you are doing full out treatments every time.

I just don't think you were clear with what you were asking for. A non LHCF stylist is not going to respond in LHCF lingo. There is also the chance that something you are doing is not right for your hair. If you are happy with how your friend's hair looks then maybe there is something you can learn from the stylist that will benefit your hair. No one can tell you whats best over the internet.

Not all sytlists are the enemy. I'm not saying run back and just jump in her chair but your questions were not clear at best. Stop asking things in question form when you are declaring what you want. More importantly get specific answers (such as brand/products would she be using). You may find that you are closer than you think regarding what you want and if not then at least you'll know how to interview the next person better.

 

[Saludable84]

You sound informative. You know what you want and how to do it. Don't waste your breathe with stylist. Not to hate on them, but finding a good stylist is 1 in a 1,000,000. Seriously. Go on YouTube and look up the half and half method. I've also blogged about it. My mother and sister recently texlaxed in which I had to teach my other sister how to relax my mothers hair and it came out very nice. I also made mother and sister do the half and half method.

You know what you want, your better off doing it yourself. Shoulda, Woulda, Coulda's are the speak of someone usually suffering a setback or at risk for one. Its really not as hard as it seems.

 

[SuchaLady]

Yeah you may as well do it yourself. I don't think anyone is going to complete all those steps for various reasons. And I don't think she is automatically a bad stylist either but you aren't requesting simple things here.

 

[SuchaLady]

Mid step protein treatments are not the norm with the relaxer process. I don't know of any relaxer systems that even have that step in them. It's something popular on the hair boards. Theoretically, that is irresponsible of her to do as a stylist anyway since it is not proper protocol.

Op, the stylists' hair philosophy is not jiving with you. So, I would find another stylist or DIY as the previous poster stated. Fine hair thrives on protein, I know mine does. You're probably using a light to medium protein treatment bi-weekly and she thinks you're doing a full blown hard protein tx too frequently. With fine hair I would be leery of of a stylist who doesn't do a mid step protein treatment, before neutralizing.

 

[PureSilver]

Thanks to everyone that responded i am very grateful. I have been contemplating doing it myself but I'm a Lil scared since it's virgin hair I'm working with. I will watch some YouTube videos and do it myself, I really did not like that the stylist did not assure me that my hair will be handled with care neither did she inform me of the products she will be using given my questions. I will research relaxers that may be best suited for my fine strands. I see coolsista-paris created a thread asking for relaxer suggestions for 4b fine strands. I too wanted to know this.

 

[danysedai]

Mid step protein treatments are not the norm with the relaxer process. I don't know of any relaxer systems that even have that step in them. It's something popular on the hair boards. Theoretically, that is irresponsible of her to do as a stylist anyway since it is not proper protocol.

Affirm has that mid step in their instructions to stylists and on their bottles and pots (step 1 Protecto, Step 2 relaxer, step 4 Reconstructor and step 5 Neutralizing shampoo).

http://www.avlon.com/affirm-products/

I don't know if other relaxer systems have it as I only use Affirm.

OP, you did well in having a consultation first as I've always maintained that it is essential with relaxers. It seems that she would not be offering what you want, so keep looking or learn how to DIY (I did) as others have stated. There are a lot of threads for DIY relaxers.

Like I said above, I use Affirm and used to bring it to the salon with me. I had found a good stylist but I also had a consultation first. If she hadn't agreed to do it my way(mid step reconstructor, several rinses with neutralizing shampoo,etc), I would have thanked her and kept on looking.

 

[MileHighDiva]

Mid step protein treatments are not the norm with the relaxer process. I don't know of any relaxer systems that even have that step in them. It's something popular on the hair boards. Theoretically, that is irresponsible of her to do as a stylist anyway since it is not proper protocol.

SuchaLady, Mid step protein treatments are not just from "hair board culture."
In fact Dr. Ali Syed, created the mid step process with his Affirm 5 n 1 relaxer system. Step 3 is the reconstructor.

Step 3. Affirm 5 In 1 Reconstructor is for damaged or fine, limp hair. Incorporates a unique blend of micro-and macrofibrous conditioners that normalizes hair as part of Affirm Conditioning Relaxing Treatment. Repairs damage, minimizes breakage and shedding.

Benefits

• Re-aligns, seals and smooths cuticles.
• Minimizes porosity and restores hair to normal pH.
• Electronically repairs damaged areas within and along hairshaft by attachingto negatively charged (damaged) areas.
• Minimizes breakage and shedding.
• Minimizes porosity and smooths cuticles.
• Detangles hair.
• Imparts body and volume to fine, limp hair while adding shine.

I'm thinking what's happening is that stylists don't want to purchase the 3rd step, because it will cut into their profits. No shade intended towards any stylists on the board. Someone, correct me if I'm wrong, but haven't other relaxer systems followed in Affirm's footsteps?

 

[SuchaLady]

I see what you are saying MileHighDiva but if the stylist does not use a relaxer system that has a midstep protein treatment it's probably best she does not do one. All the ladies on the board do not use Affirm anyway. They add their preferred treatment so yeah it is more popular here. I'd give a bigger side eye to a stylist that easily obliged to do whatever I asked before neutralizing than one that refused to do a step that is not a common practice during the relaxer process.

 

[Saludable84]

I see what you are saying MileHighDiva but if the stylist does not use a relaxer system that has a midstep protein treatment it's probably best she does not do one. All the ladies on the board do not use Affirm anyway. They add their preferred treatment so yeah it is more popular here. I'd give a bigger side eye to a stylist that easily obliged to do whatever I asked before neutralizing than one that refused to do a step that is not a common practice during the relaxer process.

This makes a lot of sense. The only time I had a stylist do a mid protein step is when I used a neutralizing conditioner. Otherwise, if it is not with a system and I think Mizani, Affirm and Linange only lines have these steps IF you know the products and use the systems. The MPS is too much of a risk for a stylist to take. Even though using protein can bring the pH of a relaxer down and we understand its purpose, it can also damage and over process the hair. Thats something we don't understand and something we have to understand that stylist do not know, understand or cannot afford to do. I had a stylist tell me she wouldn't use my shampoo until my hair was properly neutralized. I didn't get it, just gave her a shrug.

 

[SuchaLady]

This makes a lot of sense. The only time I had a stylist do a mid protein step is when I used a neutralizing conditioner. Otherwise, if it is not with a system and I think Mizani, Affirm and Linange only lines have these steps IF you know the products and use the systems. The MPS is too much of a risk for a stylist to take. Even though using protein can bring the pH of a relaxer down and we understand its purpose, it can also damage and over process the hair. Thats something we don't understand and something we have to understand that stylist do not know, understand or cannot afford to do. I had a stylist tell me she wouldn't use my shampoo until my hair was properly neutralized. I didn't get it, just gave her a shrug.

That's what I was saying. I would never be angry at a stylist for not doing a step that is not part of traditional relaxer protocol. That is extremely risky as your hair is still relaxing until neutralized.