RELAXED OR MAXIGLIDED/ DOES IT REALLY MATTER

[MissYocairis]

I have seen so many negative comments about the ladies at nappturality lately. Ya'll are gonna have them coming up in here and startin some mess'! "LHCF vs. Nappturality Showdown" I don't think we want that erplexed

I would think that extremely unbecoming. It's not as though we've gone up on their site and started talking smack. We are at HOME and they can stay in THEIR HOME. I knew I was too through with them when I went to post a comment in a thread and saw that their software blocks out hairtyping codes (4a, 3c, etc) with asterisks*** as though hairtyping codes are curse words.The best thing about hairtyping is that it gives a way to identify what products work best and what techniques can work best.

 

[MissYocairis]

Yeah, we don't have a Rule #9.

Okay? I was too through with that. Like, "uh, WTH?" Talk about having a major CHIP on your shoulder?

 

[tropicexotic]

Some ppl, like me, are members of both boards...even tho I mostly lurk in either case. But I think it's a good time to realize that it can't be "us" and "them," when some people frequent both and consider both home. Anyhow, I agree that relaxed or natural it's more about your mentality than the state your hair is in...cuz it can be a hot mess in either instance lol.

 

[MissYocairis]

Not to single you out because this is not the first time I saw this but why does every negative feeling someone has about this site have to be geared towards Nappturality? I understand alot of people on here dont like thier views but its a view.... an opinion and I just hate to see other sistahs bashing other sistah sites. .

Well, let me just start off by saying there ARE no negative feelings of my own, nor do I believe, anywhere on LHCF about NATURAL HAIR. And, that is precisely why there ARE so many negative feelings toward nappiturality.com. Because it's a site expressly discouraging women who are not natural from participating and, furthermore, it is a site that continues to propagate the whole "natural vs. relaxed" CONFLICT between sisters.

It's not like Nappiturality.com EMBRACES all black women and does what it can to SQUASH that CONFLICT. They do the opposite. What if LHCF was a site that discouraged any natural or transitioning hair talk? On top of that, listed in their rules that you "will be banned"? And, what if they censored any comments for certain words like, "transitioning" or "natural" or "afro" or "TWA" or "BC" and replaced them with "*******"? Sure it's their right, but what effect does that have on us collectively as Black women?

It's not about the "freedom to be able to support and express what you want and if this site wants to do that yada yada yada"....for me, with Black people, because we ARE so divided and because we DO have so many ailments, in the interest of uniting and doing away with the silly things that divide us, I feel it's socially IRRESPONSIBLE for nappiturality.com to carry on in that fashion.

As someone stated earlier, sisters with relaxed hair are not going to EVER be seen as something other than BLACK. So, why continue to struggle to drive that wedge deeper and further between us when we are all the same and having the same experience in this country and world?

And, as someone commented earlier, apparently the very wise and regal and wonderful Black queens over at nappiturality.com are referring to the ladies over on LHCF as, "those poor unenlightened self hating souls on another hair board". (And, I am sure that is just the tip of the iceberg of what we have been called there).

As far as I'm concerned, LHCF is light years ahead in PROGRESSIVE THOUGHT because we are learning to deal with each other WITH our differences and learning to deal with our hair in various different states in order to stop the abuse of our hair regardless to its texture.

 

[beyondcute]

Well, let me just start off by saying there ARE no negative feelings of my own, nor do I believe, anywhere on LHCF about NATURAL HAIR. ****I never said that there was...**** And, that is precisely why there ARE so many negative feelings toward nappiturality.com. Because it's a site expressly discouraging women who are not natural from participating and, furthermore, it is a site that continues to propagate the whole "natural vs. relaxed" CONFLICT between sisters. ****Well I believe that they are promoting what they think is best, people here do not promote excessive cutting or excesisve abuse because its against LONG HAIR, they dont promote what they feel is against natural hair***

It's not like Nappiturality.com EMBRACES all black women and does what it can to SQUASH that CONFLICT. They do the opposite. ***They promote conflict by doing what? Promoting what they believe in?***What if LHCF was a site that discouraged any natural or transitioning hair talk? On top of that, listed in their rules that you "will be banned"? ***Then this would be a place for relaxed hair care, there are some boards for that*** And, what if they censored any comments for certain words like, "transitioning" or "natural" or "afro" or "TWA" or "BC" and replaced them with "*******"? ***It would be thier right*** Sure it's their right, but what effect does that have on us collectively as Black women?
***None whatsoever to me. We still are a collective body and just because they have a different view on hair care does not make an us vs them mentality, they may believe that you arent doing what is considered by them to be the best for thier hair, but that doesnt mean their is hatred for peopel that relax***
It's not about the "freedom to be able to support and express what you want and if this site wants to do that yada yada yada"....for me, with Black people, because we ARE so divided and because we DO have so many ailments, in the interest of uniting and doing away with the silly things that divide us, I feel it's socially IRRESPONSIBLE for nappiturality.com to carry on in that fashion. ***Yes I believe so! I agree no one in the black community should create hostility amongst oursleves. We should all try to see from the others point of view and although we may not agree we should respect thier views. I wouldnt talk bad about my Muslim sisters just because Im Christian. Yes we have different views but that doesnt mean we should continue to driev the wedge deeper and bash and call names out.***

As someone stated earlier, sisters with relaxed hair are not going to EVER be seen as something other than BLACK. So, why continue to struggle to drive that wedge deeper and further between us when we are all the same and having the same experience in this country and world?
***Because we dont. A sister with relaxed air gets treated way differently than a sister with natural hair. Relaxed hair blends in and is viewed as conformity by alot of people. Afros have long been associated with "black power" and when I decided to transition I was met with all kinds of negativity Id never ewxperienced relaxed. For that much I think we shoudl respect the natural communtiy. Its hard to transition and relearn your hair, none the less have to defend it especially against other balck women who should have the most sympathy***

And, as someone commented earlier, apparently the very wise and regal and wonderful Black queens over at nappiturality.com are referring to the ladies over on LHCF as, "those poor unenlightened self hating souls on another hair board". (And, I am sure that is just the tip of the iceberg of what we have been called there). ***I didnt know you were suych an avid visitor there Yes soemtimes there is name calling but they dont SAY LHCF like some of us are quick to say NAPPTURALITY. But once again, doe sthat mean we shoudl continue to drive the wedge deeper and call names back? How childish is that? Who will be the bigger person and quit the petty name calling and stupid aparthied between these 2 wonderful groups?***


As far as I'm concerned, LHCF is light years ahead in PROGRESSIVE THOUGHT because we are learning to deal with each other WITH our differences and learning to deal with our hair in various different states in order to stop the abuse of our hair regardless to its texture.

***LHCF does have alot of ideas and the people on here are very open to alot of stuff. But being light years ahead on progressive thought is an opinion which you are entitled to (progresive means moving beyond right? liek moving beyond petty name calling....) But I feel like we should all just try to get along regardless of our views. There a far and few major black hair care sites. They provide useful information and so does LHCF. And for that we should have respect for that board.***

 

[beyondcute]

Some ppl, like me, are members of both boards...even tho I mostly lurk in either case. But I think it's a good time to realize that it can't be "us" and "them," when some people frequent both and consider both home. Anyhow, I agree that relaxed or natural it's more about your mentality than the state your hair is in...cuz it can be a hot mess in either instance lol.

ITA!!! Ive seen people say stuff like "I wanna go natural so I can have GOOD hair!" DUMB! Just as well Ive seen peopel say "I NEED a relaxer cuz I look ugly without one." As if htier hair was all that made them who they were. People can get real ignant about hair

 

[MissYocairis]

***LHCF does have alot of ideas and the people on here are very open to alot of stuff. But being light years ahead on progressive thought is an opinion which you are entitled to (progresive means moving beyond right? liek moving beyond petty name calling....) But I feel like we should all just try to get along regardless of our views. There a far and few major black hair care sites. They provide useful information and so does LHCF. And for that we should have respect for that board.***

And, the beauty of LHCF is, we are welcomed to agree to disagree, unlike the other site. It's more conducive to healing collectively when we can all be who we are without fear of inciting ire from the group. That can be done here. It cannot be done over there. As for the "petty name-calling", that comment should be reserved for your other hair board because it's not taking place over here. We mentioned the board by their given name. Not by referring to them in the way they've referred to us and, since they are so enlightened, I am sure they will receive your correction with love. Best to you. I love LHCF! Nothing like it.

 

[Cheleigh]

Some ppl, like me, are members of both boards...even tho I mostly lurk in either case. But I think it's a good time to realize that it can't be "us" and "them," when some people frequent both and consider both home.

I'm a member of both boards as well--and I post in both cases.

I will say that I think that a bunch of the folks on np.com don't take the issue nearly as seriously as I've noticed lhcf people sometimes think they do.

 

[SocialWorker29]

Natual or Relaxed.....to "The Man" we are all black. So.....Yeah, I said it....We are black weather we are nappy or straight. We need to stick together. Maybe, someone should tell Nappturality, we are more than just hair and to let it go....man..Just let it gooooo...LMAO They are going to kick my *** You did not see me....

LOL...It's okay. Most of us have "dual" identities when we post over there anyways. Anyways you took the words right out of my mouth. As India Arie sings " I am not my hair".
And this is coming from someone who was nappy for almost 6 years. And will be nappy again when I'm ready to loc.

 

[kristina]

I'm a member of both boards as well--and I post in both cases.

I will say that I think that a bunch of the folks on np.com don't take the issue nearly as seriously as I've noticed lhcf people sometimes think they do.

I agree with this. I lurk mostly on NP but I love both sites. Both sites have their strengths and weaknesses. Besides I'm wondering how this turned into a discussion of np in the first place since anyone maxigliding would likely not be a 'militant natural' calling out relaxed women as sellouts in the first place since to the hardcore we're "partial nappies" anyway.

But I will say that my honest opinion is healthwise MY natural hair is far superior to my relaxed hair and it's sad that folks (like myself) have been conditioned to believe that relaxers are necessary beautifiers and that having "bad hair" is a curse that only baby draino can redeem. But that's not a judgment on others.

 

[beyondcute]

I agree with this. I lurk mostly on NP but I love both sites. Both sites have their strengths and weaknesses. Besides I'm wondering how this turned into a discussion of np in the first place since anyone maxigliding would likely not be a 'militant natural' calling out relaxed women as sellouts in the first place since to the hardcore we're "partial nappies" anyway.

But I will say that my honest opinion is healthwise MY natural hair is far superior to my relaxed hair and it's sad that folks (like myself) have been conditioned to believe that relaxers are necessary beautifiers and that having "bad hair" is a curse that only baby draino can redeem. But that's not a judgment on others.

Yeah Im a lurker there as well, for my own silly reasons I dont post there too much either. None the less I just think its wrong to put down another persons site. I think its just petty to talk about other sites period. The OP said nothing bout NP and all of a sudden the thread turned into a NP bash. ACTUALLY the OP felt like that about LHCF, and had never been to NP. *Very interesting though how P was bought into this...*

If people dont like the site then thats fine but I think its just silly to keep saying how militant and silly they are over there when over here the same sillyness goes on. We are all militant over our hair and anyone who tries to step in between us and out hair will def get it! I dont know anyone on a hair care board (any of them) that DOESNT care about their hair...

We all make too much fuss over hair and we are all product junkies and only want certain things for our hair . Ive seen way too many posts about NP over here and hardly any over there about LHCF and who knows if they are referring to LHCF? LHCF is not the only baord that talks abotu relaxing. So does naturallycurly, but no one ever thinks they aer referring to them, huh?

Assuming does nothing but cause problems. and even if they were to blatantly call out the name of LHCF why be childish and retort? If you dont like it over ther then done go there, and definitely dont talk about them, no need to bash another black website. It just seems like they are alwyas being called out and picked on.

 

[MissMarie]

Yeah Im a lurker there as well, for my own silly reasons I dont post there too much either. None the less I just think its wrong to put down another persons site. I think its just petty to talk about other sites period. The OP said nothing bout NP and all of a sudden the thread turned into a NP bash. ACTUALLY the OP felt like that about LHCF, and had never been to NP. *Very interesting though how P was bought into this...*

If people dont like the site then thats fine but I think its just silly to keep saying how militant and silly they are over there when over here the same sillyness goes on. We are all militant over our hair and anyone who tries to step in between us and out hair will def get it! I dont know anyone on a hair care board (any of them) that DOESNT care about their hair...

We all make too much fuss over hair and we are all product junkies and only want certain things for our hair . Ive seen way too many posts about NP over here and hardly any over there about LHCF and who knows if they are referring to LHCF? LHCF is not the only baord that talks abotu relaxing. So does naturallycurly, but no one ever thinks they aer referring to them, huh?

Assuming does nothing but cause problems. and even if they were to blatantly call out the name of LHCF why be childish and retort? If you dont like it over ther then done go there, and definitely dont talk about them, no need to bash another black website. It just seems like they are alwyas being called out and picked on.

ITA
I also lurk on both boards and I'm surprised at times the negativity towards NP expressed by posters on this board (though in general I'd say its a very small minority on both sides thats cares to bash other boards).
If people don't like the atmosphere or mission of the site then just don't go there, why waste energy complaining about it. The site is aimed at naturals, who generally fall under the 4a4b category, who are interested in learning how to deal with their hair without altering its natural texture with heat or chemicals, and also interested in talking about hair issues they face as naturals with nappy, kinky hair. They don't talk about hair types in order to avoid "good hair/ bad hair" discussions because there have been arguments and hurt feelings over the hair hierarchy.
If this doesn't apply to you, why go over there and get mad that the board does not cater to your needs? What's the point in disrespecting the creator and owner of the site by ignoring her rules? Just go somewhere else, there are a number of other hair boards (2 of which are probably bigger targets for animosity than LHCF). There are many members of NP that use heat and whatnot on their hair, they just have the respect to bring it up somewhere other than that specific board.
If you want a board that deals with the issues of natural, texturized and relaxed hair then you're already here, why look anywhere else?

Another thing is people should really read the mission, rules and do some lurking before jumping in and posting so they get a better idea of how things work at a site, any site.

 

[MissYocairis]

Most people who don't agree with the site in question do not go there. In fact, it was by lurking and/or joining and then lurking that most/all got a feel for the climate. There are threads on LHCF on this very topic where many have explained how they came to experience the other site, etc.

I highly doubt anyone who went over and lurked or joined and realized it did not fit their idea of "hair support" still continues to go back over there. I am not even sure where that idea came from or why it's a recurring comment in everyone's post. It only took me one experience of visiting, lurking, reading, looking at the rules etc. to realize it wasn't for me and I have not visited since. I'm sure most who agree have a similar story.

I understand the "good hair/bad hair" comment and, just out of curiousity, since that is such a pervasive problem in our community, why do you think it is NOT a problem here on LHCF even though we DO use hair-typing lingo? Just curious.

 

[MissMarie]

I understand and respect that posters have visited other boards and decided they are not to their liking. What I don't understand is the need to complain about or "bash" other sites and how they operate. Instead of complaining about NP (which of all the other hairboards seems to be the main target of attack) why can't we just focus on what we like about LHCF. If one doesn't like the posters, atmosphere, mission of another board why keep harping on it. Just stay here and enjoy the posters, atmposhere and mission of this board.
And keep in mind that while one person may completely dislike another board there are multiple people on this site that are members, lurkers, contributors to other hair sites.

The hairtyping issues or "good/bad hair" thing probably doesn't come up so much here since the majority of the members are relaxed or texturized and a number of naturals straighten their hair often. The focus at LHCF isn't on embracing natural textures. Nor do we divide ourselves by hair type, everyone regardless of hair type gives and receives advice.
On other sites where the majority are natural/ transitioning there have been posters who were upset by the texture of their hair. I think its sad when someone relaxes or texturixes not as a styling option, but out of disappointment and shame because they found out their natural texture isn't as "good" as they wanted it to be.
Sometimes these divisions can lead to a hierarchy and hurt feelings. I see nothing wrong if someone, on their own site, wants to avoid all that.

 

[MissYocairis]

and, that's cool. I feel you on that, Miss Marie.

 

[Poohbear]

THANK'S FOR RESPONDING LADIES. REGARDING HAIRBOARDS, I HAVE ONLY BEEN A PART OF/KNOWN OF LHCF. REGARDING THE TOPIC AT HAND, IT'S NOTHING I LOOSE SLEEP OVER, TRUST ME! I ENJOY HAVING SO MANY LOOK'S, AND RELAXING MAKES IT EASIER FOR ME TO OBTAIN.

I WAS LOOKING ON CURVE SALON WEBSITE AND SAW SOME GORGEOUS STYLES WITH NATURAL HAIR. I HAVE ACHEIVED SIMILAR STYLES BY STRAWSETTING OR TWIST. ONE LADY IN PARTICULAR HAD GOLDISH/BLONDE HIGHTLIGHT'S. SO THEN I WONDERED, IS HER HAIR STILL CONSIDERED NATURAL SINCE THE COLOR HAD BEEN CHANGED WITH CHEMICALS? I WOULD ANSWER YES, SO THAT'S WHEN I REALLY STARTING PONDERING WHY WOULD AN INDIVIDUAL FEEL LIKE RELAXED HAIR IS NOT REAL. JUST WONDERING, THAT'S WHEN I DECIDED TO POST MY THOUGHTS ON THIS, BUT I DON'T WANT IT TO GET HEATED, IT'S NOT THAT SERIOUS

BTW, I HOPE NO ONE GET'S OFFENDED BY THIS THREAD OR BY REPLY'S MADE. MY INTENTION WAS JUST TO SHARE AND ALSO GET SOME INSIGHT. THANKS LADIES

Hey mommatide, you've made a valid point! In contrast, I believe that natural hair is free of any kind of chemicals. I am also a member of LHCF and Nappturality... I currently lurk and post on both sites. I mainly visit NP since I'm natural. But one thing I do not understand about NP is how they can accept hair coloring but are against relaxers and heat. IMO, all three should not be taken into consideration when it comes to natural hair. Now that I am natural, I am against all that stuff, but I think its wrong for those people who do put down others who choose to use those things on their hair.

I think you should have started out with this post as your initial post. It seems like this thread is turning into (or trying to turn into) a 'bashing of boards' or 'relaxed vs. natural' deal. I haven't seen any "relaxed bashing" here on LHCF, shoot, most of the ladies here have relaxed hair! If someone does not like a certain board, thread, or post, ignore it or completely stay away from it. But it's okay to express opinions in a respectable manner.

 

[mommatide]

i can't control how people respond to a simple question check my original post. i don't know how it ever got to this, i personally did not know np.com even existed, so i won't take credit for any comment's on that.

where is rodney king when you need em

 

[Poohbear]

oh, i know you didn't know NP existed before you posted.

 

[so1913]

I don't agree with some of the points in the OP. But, I don't consider women that relax their hair sell outs. Unless you are perpetuating negative stereotypes like BLACK PEOPLE NEED to relax their hair. I also don't agree with the easier to manage clause. I once was relaxed and it was just a difficult as taking care of natural hair. Actually I would like to say its as difficult as you make it.

I personally really like nappturality.com. The site is specially for natural people so I guess one wouldn't feel comfortable as a relaxed person on a site made for natural people.

But, we only live life once so I say do what makes YOU happy. Cause you came here by yourself and you will leave by yourself.

ITA. Nothing else to add.

 

[hottopic]

Ok..Now you all lost me...What is OP,P, "you down with OPP man" yeah you know me!.....Please somebody pm me and let me know...??

Yeah Im a lurker there as well, for my own silly reasons I dont post there too much either. None the less I just think its wrong to put down another persons site. I think its just petty to talk about other sites period. The OP said nothing bout NP and all of a sudden the thread turned into a NP bash. ACTUALLY the OP felt like that about LHCF, and had never been to NP. *Very interesting though how P was bought into this...*

How did this thread turn into a bash?... I guess people had stuff to get off their chest. Still a good thread.

 

[sweetascocoa]

OP means original poster

 

[beyondcute]

Ok..Now you all lost me...What is OP,P, "you down with OPP man" yeah you know me!.....Please somebody pm me and let me know...??



How did this thread turn into a bash?... I guess people had stuff to get off their chest. Still a good thread.

OP is hte original poster and yeah, it went form a question posed by soemone that knew nothign of NP.com to a NP.com bashing Yeha I guess soem peopel did have some stuff to unload. But I didnt want peopel to think that it was okay or accepted here to bash other sites. And anywhere for that matter, just a lil web ettiqutte.