Relaxed Ladies! PLEASE help me help my sister!

[bluenude]

Since I have been transitioning/ natural I don't know exactly what to do to to help my sister.

She is so beautiful and is a skin care specialist. I know she is very self-concious about her hair. It has always been thin, prone to breakage and hard to grow in the back 'kitchen' area. Her hair is short, a little past her ears and is very thin and dry. I want to be able to help her but I don't know a thing about relaxed hair regimes.

What helped you ladies when you first started your hair care journey? Please tell me THE MOST important things about caring for relaxed hair and how to do them.

If she should stretch then how can she combat the breakage/shedding etc.

What is a good easy-to-find (sallys or walmart) conditioner for her? Moisturizing leave-in that will give shine?

She flat-irons but doesn't use a heat protectant or a serum and I think thats very bad right?

How often should she wash/condition a week? How often for a trim?

How can she healthily maintain her hair daily with little manipulation and low heat?

As you can see I know nothinig about how to care for relaxed hair which is why I had to finally cut it off! But I want to help her so badly. Thanks for any tips you all have.

Also if anyone wants to write out a 'makeshift beginners regime' for her I would appreciate it so much! Something that lists the steps - especially for applying products, like: condition, rinse, apply leave-in, wrap? airdry?, apply heat protectant, etc.

 

[uncutandgettinglonger]

I think that moisture is one of the most, if not THE most important thing for relaxed hair. One of the best ways to put moisture back into dry hair is through conditioner washing and deep conditioning. I would recomend a conditioner that is fortified with protein. (Pantene Pro V Relaxed and natural is good).

Conditoner only washing is washing your hair with conditioner only. I would recomend doing this 3 times a week (twice at the minimum).

Another way to get moisture into the hair is by applying a creamy moisturizer (such as shea butter) to the scalp and letting it 'greenhouse' under a shower cap.

It is my opinion that she should nix the direct heat, and settle for doing roller sets (although I don't know if she has enough hair to do that) under a hood (maybe bonnet, I can't remember the diff) dryer. I would even go as far as to say that she should wear a satin scarf until her next relaxer (and only styling when it is an absolute must)

 

[uncutandgettinglonger]

Makeshift Regimne

Products:

• Conditioner for dry or damaged hair
• creamy moisturizer (such as shea butter)
• shower comb (brand name: simply basic; can be found at walmart)
• bone comb (wide toothed), or a comb without rough seams (can be found at sally's I believe)
• boar bristle brush
• denman styling brush (found at sally's)
• shower cap
• spray bottle
• extra virgin olive oil

Routine:

Wash hair 3-5 times a week using conditioner only. Wear a shower cap over hair that is saturated with conditioner and sit under dryer for 15-30 minutes once a week (this is called deep conditioning).

After wash, comb through hair with the shower comb, starting at the tips and working up toward the roots. Apply creamy moisturizer to scalp and finger comb through hair. Let air dry**

I would recomend spraying moisturizer mixed with water on the scalp and letting it 'greenhouse' under a shower cap until the scalp is no longer dry. (she'll probably have to air/blow dry afterward). This can be done on days that aren't wash days or as needed.

use a little olive oil in the hair to moisturize the shaft and make hair shine.

Only manipulate with bone comb and denman brush. Use boar hair bristle brush to smooth hair.


**If it isn't possible for her to air dry, I would recomend her investing in an ionic hair dryer that has a large round diffuser, and multiple heat settings. The dryer that I have is the Remmington 1875 Ionic. I think that you get it at sally's. I use it on the lowest speed and the lowest heat, finger combing as I dry.

 

[KEIONI'S MOM]

Hi Blue -

Uncut gave you some excellent advice for your sister. My journey started one yr ago this past February the first thing I did was a protien treatment for my damaged hair. Second I cut down on the heat from everyday to once a week. I started doing Conditioner Washes every other day and instead of relaxing every six weeks I began to stretch my relaxers to every eleven or so weeks. These few things plus the products that I started too use helped me maintain my hair and it has grown from neck length too now almost armpit length. I haven't even trimmed my ends from last year and my hair is in GREAT shape. I'm almost finished with my personal challenge of stretching my relaxer to seventeen weeks which by the way ends next week. I wish you and your sister the best of luck and HHG.

 

[MizaniMami]

Blue, I would print out that sticky thread up top ^ that states " a newcomers guide to starting out."

 

[bluenude]

thank you all so much for your advice! i'll print out that newcomers guide - i don't know why i didn't think/notice that before.