Relax my virgin hair....

S

StylishNikki87

Active Member
My hair is almost waist length, and I am giving up the natural hair battle. I love to wear my hair straight because it really helps with the SSKs and just plain tangles.

I spent the summer babying my hair because i was straightening every few weeks last winter. By the time that summer came around i noticed that i was shedding everywhere and my ends were all messed up. So, I believe that the best option is to relax. This way i will not be using so much heat. I used to self-relax for about 6 years before i found LHCF and decided to give it up and try going natural to grow my hair.

However reading on here, I have seen plenty of posts advising people on here to go to a professional for relaxing virgin hair. I went to a few salons in my area, but i just dont trust any one else with my hair. I dont think that they understand the work that ive put into my hair for the past three years. I also dont feel like they will put up with me telling them exactly how i want them to do my hair (how to do their job).

I am thinking about conquering this monstrous task myself. So, can you please post me some tips, tricks and any advice before i do this? I am not planning on actually relaxing my hair until next Saturday.
 
I understand how heat usage can literally destroy the hair.

Have you tried stretching your hair using the thread method? See a tutorial here... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u3WvYqdCRgs&feature=plcp

That may help as the results look blwdried.. I did it when natural with success.

About relaxing your virgin hair... best to leave it to a professional BUT I had it done professionally and they jacked it up somewhat... IMO the only person that can care for your hair properly is you... If you are not ready to self-care/self-relax... then dont do it... cos its a big risk putting your life in the hands of a stylist..

Alternatively, find a friend who really cares about healthy hair... let them watch this video about how to virgin relax, and practice first on your head with conditioner like a thick cholesterol so you guys can practice the timing... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ddb9kM2BXD0

Also incorporate pre-parting the hair to make application much faster... Good luck!!
 
I self relaxed apl natural because I didn't trust a stylist not to undo all my hard work. I really underestimated how much hair I had and the fact that I'd be relaxing the entire strand. And of course you know time is of the essence when relaxing. My best advice is to relax your hair one quarter at a time. Look up the half and half relaxer method on YouTube. But because you have so much hair, I STRONGLY suggest you relax and neutralize your hair one quarter or even 1/6th at a time. Otherwise you will end up with part of your hair over processed and part under processed.

And buy way more relaxer than you think you'll need. You don't want to run out of relaxer before you finish - like I did!
 
StylishNikki87 Waist length natural hair? That is some achievement, you make me want to go back to natural hair, I was deliberating whether to BC, transition back to natural or have a really long stretch and give being relaxed a little bit longer. I decided to go with the latter, I can transition and then BC eventually when I get a decent length on my NG in a couple of years, I think it's good to give your hair and scalp a break from the relaxer, even though there's many ladies who have relaxed for years without a break and with no problems, it's just my opinion.

When I relaxed in 2009 after 7 years of being natural, I got my best friend to do it for me, she doesn't care much for hair but I knew I could trust her to do the job. I basically chose to relax for the same reason you're thinking about relaxing, I wanted straight hair more often and was damaging may hair by straightening it way too often, so I decided to take the plunge. Sometimes I'm glad I did other times I regret it! If you do decide to relax, I would suggest you find a reputable salon, or get someone you can REALLY trust on board. If you relax at home, make sure you get enough relaxer cream, that's a lot of hair you've got and you sure don't want to run out halfway through the job.

Good luck with whatever you decide, please post back to let us know what decision you make. With pics of course :yep:
 
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Go to YouTube!!!
I relaxed my apl virgin hair last month you'll probably need about 3 box relaxers or a a full tub if you use a lye professional brand. Start with your ends and the length of your hair they will take way longer to process than your roots,good luck and come back with pics:)
 
Thanks everyone, and judy4all for the videos.

I am now really scared to do it on my own. I didn't even think about the possibility of running out. Or really even think about how long it will take to apply it.

I will just keep looking around my area to find a stylish that i feel comfortable with. In the meantime i will try the threading method to give me better stretch heat free.
 
What about examining your reggie and tweaking a few things to decrease your ssks and tangling? Get opinions from a few other long haired naturals and just try some new things. Unless you are certain that you want to be relaxed.
 
Thanks, that's a great idea. Im not sure who to ask. But if you have any suggestions please let me know. I will keep looking around the forum to try to find more tips that may help with my ssk problem.

Also, are there many people on here with WSL hair that is natural? I know before there weren't many. But as the seasons past more hair is growing.
 
StylishNikki87 - I'm not quite waist length (closer to MBL) and though I don't use heat, I keep my hair stretched 100% of the time these days which keeps the knots away. Stretching and sealing the ends on a daily basis, dusting, etc are some of the methods some of us longer haired naturals use to keep the knots and splits away. If you truly do want a relaxer for other reasons, that's fine too. You've gotten some really good advice so far.
 
There are tons of waist length and longer naturals on this board. Check out the ask a WL or longer a question thread, or any of the long length challenges for advice.

What works for me is sealing, encouraging my hair to work together (clumping), and lots of moisture.

I have to seal with a heavy gel. An oil alone doesn't smooth my strands and make them feel sealed. I partially air dry my hair in 4 or 5 big plaits on wash day to smooth and get the strands to work together ( this reduces ssks) I also refresh with a daily moisture spritz.

Through trial and error I learned that water based ingredients are best for my hair and that helped me immensely.

I'm confident that you can find your winning mix of techniques and product types.:yep:
 
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greenandchic KCCC is my holy grail gel. When I can't splurge, I use Ecostlyer (the clear one). I have also been playing around with flax seed gel recipes.

I'm looking for a cheaper all natural KCCC type gel if anyone knows of anything...

Do you have any faves??
 
classychic1908 does the gel make your hair hard, and do you use it for buns or wash n go's? I'd love any tips that will help me out.

I seriously have hated relaxers in the past. But, I just feel like I have no options. The longer my hair gets the more it takes. When it was SL, it was so easy. I could wash it, put some coconut oil on it, and I was done for the week. Every once in a while do a DC. It was so low maintenance. Now, I have to spend 20-30 minutes detangling. If I don't DC every other week my ends are all types of dry and frizzy. I have so much hair coming out on wash day that I am surprised that my hair is still so super duper thick. I think that I'm only thinking of resorting to a relaxer because I am looking for a quick fix, that I probably want out of in a few weeks. *done ranting*
 
StylishNikki87 said:
classychic1908 does the gel make your hair hard, and do you use it for buns or wash n go's? I'd love any tips that will help me out.

I seriously have hated relaxers in the past. But, I just feel like I have no options. The longer my hair gets the more it takes. When it was SL, it was so easy. I could wash it, put some coconut oil on it, and I was done for the week. Every once in a while do a DC. It was so low maintenance. Now, I have to spend 20-30 minutes detangling. If I don't DC every other week my ends are all types of dry and frizzy. I have so much hair coming out on wash day that I am surprised that my hair is still so super duper thick. I think that I'm only thinking of resorting to a relaxer because I am looking for a quick fix, that I probably want out of in a few weeks. *done ranting*
Click to expand...

Im a waist length natural. Have you tried henna? It stops almost all my shedding. Or think about a fomaldehyde free bkt. I'd try something temporary before a full relaxer.
 
I use eco gel for buns & wash & gos. Theres different strengths you can chose from so it doesnt necessarily have to make your hair hard, it can just add hold that makes your style last longer.
 
I use gel through my hair. I apply it in sections the same way I would apply conditioner or oil. I use castor oil under the gel and it keeps my hair from feeling hard, plus my moisture spritz (aloe juice and glycerin) will also get rid of any crunch. Really, my hair is not prone to getting hard when I use gel with some type of leave in under it. (My hair is coarse, low porosity)

What is your reggie and how would you describe your hair?
 
I wouldn't try Bkt . So many ppl come back complaining that it chewed up their hair and since they all have to cut to get rid of it,.. I'm thinking it's permanent. I know the box says its not, but I'm giving the box the side eye :/

I think relaxing virgin hair is a lot easier than touch ups because you don't have to worry about overlapping.

My advice:
1. Get a friend to help with the smoothing since u have a lot of hair.

2. Buy a big tub of relaxer.

3. With ur hair in its natural state examine the curl pattern and determine which areas are more coarse. Make about 6-9 sections.

4. If you have 4b hair I would lightly blow it out first and then Bantu knot the sections loosely.

5 apply relaxer to the most coarse areas first. If there is a big difference in coarseness then apply to the most coarse, wait 3 or so minutes, then apply to the least coarse.

- application need not be neat with virgin hair. You can apply it to a section like it was conditioner and press it in to make sure every strand is coated. Use a wide tooth shower comb at first to help you get it from root to tip. Repeat process with all sections applying it to most coarse first, then least.

- now that all is applied, go back with the help of a friend to start smoothing. Smooth most coarse sections, then least. Apply extra relaxer to areas that look like it could use more. Use comb to part thought sections ( don't scrape scalp) and smooth and apply additional relaxer.

- when all is straight wash out with a powerful stream of water. If ur unsure if ur hair is straight enough,... Wash it out anyways! U can always fix under processing, u can't fix over processing.

- use protein conditioner

- neutralizing shampoo

- moisturizing conditioner , let it sit for a few minutes, rinse

- leave in conditioner

- dry and style as you like.

- wether u do it urself or go to a salon I still think you need two ppl to smooth so much hair.

If by urself to the half and half method. The half that you are not doing.., put it in a ponytail and slick it with neutralizing shampoo and gobs of Vaseline so that if relaxer accidentally gets on it, it won't be a huge issue.

Good luck! Come back with pics!!
 
classychic1908 my reggie is changing due to the weather getting cold. But, pretty much I am oiling my hair with olive oil, then co-washing and detangling once a week. Then I am following that with coconut oil and putting my hair in a bun. A few hours later, after the majority is dry I take down the bun to let the middle dry. I then spritz the outside with a water/oil mix and put it back in a bun and leave it for the week.Then, the next week I will either deep condition, or use a homemade protein treatment and go through the process again.

The thing is that I noticed that if I straightened before bunning, the next week I would have alot less tangles, and I would notice less ssks. My hair has two different textures, in the middle it's really coarse and has a tight curl. Everywhere else is more like an s-curl and less coarse. I try to give the middle portion a bit of extra conditioning because it gets dry faster.
 
StylishNikki87 said:
classychic1908 my reggie is changing due to the weather getting cold. But, pretty much I am oiling my hair with olive oil, then co-washing and detangling once a week. Then I am following that with coconut oil and putting my hair in a bun. A few hours later, after the majority is dry I take down the bun to let the middle dry. I then spritz the outside with a water/oil mix and put it back in a bun and leave it for the week.Then, the next week I will either deep condition, or use a homemade protein treatment and go through the process again.

The thing is that I noticed that if I straightened before bunning, the next week I would have alot less tangles, and I would notice less ssks. My hair has two different textures, in the middle it's really coarse and has a tight curl. Everywhere else is more like an s-curl and less coarse. I try to give the middle portion a bit of extra conditioning because it gets dry faster.
Click to expand...

I think you need to add 1 more step. Apply a creamy moisturizer right after u cowash then apply a dab of coconut oil. U are pretty much using just water & oil but I think you may need a thicker richer moisturizer than that.

If I use just oil & water my hair gets kinda hard & very difficult to detangle.
 
StylishNikki87 said:
I seriously have hated relaxers in the past. But, I just feel like I have no options. The longer my hair gets the more it takes. When it was SL, it was so easy. I could wash it, put some coconut oil on it, and I was done for the week. Every once in a while do a DC. It was so low maintenance. Now, I have to spend 20-30 minutes detangling. If I don't DC every other week my ends are all types of dry and frizzy. I have so much hair coming out on wash day that I am surprised that my hair is still so super duper thick. I think that I'm only thinking of resorting to a relaxer because I am looking for a quick fix, that I probably want out of in a few weeks. *done ranting*
Click to expand...

Do you detangle on wet or dry hair? I used to detangle on wet hair with lots of conditioner. I only wished it took me 30 minutes, the process was quite long. I now detangle on dry hair, preferably the day before. This results in a
much faster process the next day on wash day. It's a great relief. I'm not stating that I lose less hair. I only manipulate my hair (combing, detangling) on wash day so that's 7 days or more with no manipulation, of course, I'm going to have shed hair, but that's what the detangle is for, so that when I wash my hair, I'm washing my hair and not detangling and getting out shed hair.

StylishNikki87 said:
pretty much I am oiling my hair with olive oil, then co-washing and detangling once a week. Then I am following that with coconut oil and putting my hair in a bun. I then spritz the outside with a water/oil mix and put it back in a bun and leave it for the week.Then, the next week I will either deep condition, or use a homemade protein treatment and go through the process again.
The thing is that I noticed that if I straightened before bunning, the next week I would have alot less tangles, and I would notice less ssks.

How about not straightening but dry detangling and then re-bunning? I bet the next week you'll have less tangles, also. When you're straightening, all you're doing is manipulating it, stretching it and removing shed hair. Same thing you'd do if you'd detangle it, except with no heat.

Relaxing all of that hair is a huge commitment. Once you relax, you can't go back. Should you decide to relax, I would not attempt it at home. It's just that you have a lot of length. How about allowing a stylist to get familiar with your hair by washing/deep conditioning and blowing out/straightening for a few months and if that works out, discussing the relaxer. This way, neither of you are overwhelmed and you feel more comfortable with the stylists and the stylist isn't taken aback or overwhelmed with your request and actually knows how to work with your texture and your length.
Click to expand...
 
ManeStreet said:
I think you need to add 1 more step. Apply a creamy moisturizer right after u cowash then apply a dab of coconut oil. U are pretty much using just water & oil but I think you may need a thicker richer moisturizer than that.

If I use just oil & water my hair gets kinda hard & very difficult to detangle.
Click to expand...

ManeStreet I did used to use avocado butter on my hair and I loved it. I had this really great batch from From Nature With Love. But, when I ordered it again, it was so waxy that I decided not to try again, because it might be a waste of money.

Do you have any recommendations, or any ideas of where I could start looking?
 
kellistarr said:
Do you detangle on wet or dry hair? I used to detangle on wet hair with lots of conditioner. I only wished it took me 30 minutes, the process was quite long. I now detangle on dry hair, preferably the day before. This results in a
much faster process the next day on wash day. It's a great relief. I'm not stating that I lose less hair. I only manipulate my hair (combing, detangling) on wash day so that's 7 days or more with no manipulation, of course, I'm going to have shed hair, but that's what the detangle is for, so that when I wash my hair, I'm washing my hair and not detangling and getting out shed hair.

StylishNikki87 said:
pretty much I am oiling my hair with olive oil, then co-washing and detangling once a week. Then I am following that with coconut oil and putting my hair in a bun. I then spritz the outside with a water/oil mix and put it back in a bun and leave it for the week.Then, the next week I will either deep condition, or use a homemade protein treatment and go through the process again.
The thing is that I noticed that if I straightened before bunning, the next week I would have alot less tangles, and I would notice less ssks.
Click to expand...

How about not straightening but dry detangling and then re-bunning? I bet the next week you'll have less tangles, also. When you're straightening, all you're doing is manipulating it, stretching it and removing shed hair. Same thing you'd do if you'd detangle it, except with no heat.

Relaxing all of that hair is a huge commitment. Once you relax, you can't go back. Should you decide to relax, I would not attempt it at home. It's just that you have a lot of length. How about allowing a stylist to get familiar with your hair by washing/deep conditioning and blowing out/straightening for a few months and if that works out, discussing the relaxer. This way, neither of you are overwhelmed and you feel more comfortable with the stylists and the stylist isn't taken aback or overwhelmed with your request and actually knows how to work with your texture and your length.
Click to expand...


I haven't tried dry detangling on non-straightened in a very long time. I would be very hesitant to try it. Because I don't know if I do it wrong or if it's normal. But, everytime I try to dry detangle I hear the snaps of death. I don't know if there is a way to do it without some of my ends snapping off.
 
*CHUPTZ*...I'm just gonna say what most folks are thinking :) You have put all this effort into WL natural hair and now you gon perm it? *CHUPTZ* but by all means do you! I look forward to seeing your new and awesome swaaaaang!
 
I relaxed my virgin hair in September. I heard all kinds of horror stories and people telling me to go to a stylist etc.. I did it myself and did it exactly the way I used to do it a long time ago before I became natural. My hair is fine and strong. You already know what to do, you just have to have confidence to do it. Most professionals scare you to death about doing it yourself and then when you go to them, they do it exactly the way you would have. Have confidence in yourself and go for it. Also, if you still do not want to do it yourself. There is a thread here that will tell you the good salons in your area. Just type your city and state in the search bar.. the threads will come up. good luck!!
 
greenandchic said:
@StylishNikki87 - I'm not quite waist length (closer to MBL) and though I don't use heat, I keep my hair stretched 100% of the time these days which keeps the knots away. Stretching and sealing the ends on a daily basis, dusting, etc are some of the methods some of us longer haired naturals use to keep the knots and splits away. If you truly do want a relaxer for other reasons, that's fine too. You've gotten some really good advice so far.
Click to expand...

greenandchic, I was MLBish (cut this weekend), now BSLish and our hair types look similar. I also don't use heat. How are you stretching? Basically, I just keep my hair in flat twists and i'm looking for a change.

Sorry OP for the hi-jack!
 
curlicarib said:
greenandchic, I was MLBish (cut this weekend), now BSLish and our hair types look similar. I also don't use heat. How are you stretching? Basically, I just keep my hair in flat twists and i'm looking for a change.

Sorry OP for the hi-jack!
Click to expand...

curlicarib - So far all I do is flat twists (too lazy to experiment with anything else right now). YT Naptural85 did a video some months back on how to make a stretched twist out. She basically twisted the hair while slightly damp (several day old hair) and would pin it across her head to keep the twists stretched while it dried. I use that method on freshly washed hair these days. It works pretty well for me and keeps my hair stretched while I sleep. https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=ruRGEe3DfOY#!
 
StylishNikki87
It looks like you may need to add some type of moisturizing leave in to your reggie. Remember that oils and butters, in general, should not be considered moisturizers. I like Aubrey Organics white camelia as a leave in. Kinky Curly knot today is another good leave in product.

How does your hair respond to the oils that you are using? It may be worth trying some others, if you aren't sure if those are perfect for you. I like castor oil because of it's humectant properties... pretty much no other oils or butters work for my hair in it's natural state.

Drying your hair in plaits or twists before bunning may help reduce ssks. A different moisturizing spritz, would be a good idea as well. I like humectants, so I love aloe juice and glycerin in a spray bottle (about a 60 40 mix) after my hair has dried from the wash and as necessary until wash day.

I'm not saying that my reggie will work for you. I just wanted to share, and hopefully some others will share what works for them as well. It takes some trial and error, but I know you will find what works for you.

Also protein treatments every other week, may be too much for your natural hair. I would suggest you reduce protein to every 6-8 weeks and see how your hair responds.

What conditioners are you using to cowash and dc?
 
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