Really need some help my sister is going bald!!!!

[leona2025]

Okay ladies, my sister is more concerned about her hair and is trying to get it healthy. The problem is I don't know what to tell her to do for her head. Everything I do for mine I tell her, but her hair is fighting her tooth and nail like it wants to stay raggedy. She has a 2in wide 2 inch long bald spot at her nape. Then she only wants to use leave in products. She really doesn't want to do it if you have to wash it out. I mixed up some mega tek with oils for her to apply on that bald spot.
Her hair feels very coarse and greasy and dry. She puts like 5 greasy products in her hair every morning and thinks she has moisturized. We have tried several moisturizers and she heaps so much other stuff on I can't tell if they are working for her. Everytime she combs she gets a large fist full of broken hair falling out. I'm thinking she needs some hard protein, but I don't use hard protein myself and I'm really scared of that Aphogee 2 step.
Every product I have she has at her disposal, but I just don't what to do. I told her to dc with moisture and she does and she's been using Aphogee 2min, but we really need to stop that breakage before she is bald. I told her to start buning and stop combing everyday. I need any tips that can help. My hair wasn't in that kind of shape when I started my journey and I don't know how to help her.

 

[Nonie]

Maybe you should first see a doctor to figure out why she has a bald spot. Once you eliminate any disease that needs to be treated first (anemia, thyroid issues, seborrheic dermatitis, etc), then we can start trying to find topical ways to help her get her hair back to health. I think you're all trying too many things at the same time. But until you're sure it's not something internal causing these problems, I think you might be looking for a needle in a haystack.

 

[that_1_grrrl]

I don't know too much about this, but I think step 1 would be to get her to stop using so much stuff in her hair. Do you know what products she's heaping into her hair? Maybe you should list some of them, so that someone here can determine what's causing the damage.

Is she relaxed or natural?

 

[**SaSSy**]

Tell her to put that grease down, and pick up some water-based moisturizer! I had a similar bald spot in the back of my head that took me about 5 to 6 months to get it to what it is now: http://public.fotki.com/Sassyb4Classy/2008/nape-progress/
Tell her to moisture, moisture, protein, and moisture. Don't over do it with protein because that would cause more breakage. She should leave that area alone and just baby it with her MT and moisture products, and then seal with oils.

 

[Keen]

It sound like she's not up to the challenge. She says she wants to be help but is not willing to put in hard work. She needs to understand this will not be an easy Journey if she really wants result. There are plenty of ladies here who grew bald spot but from talking to one, it took a lot of TLC.

 

[praisedancer]

Nonie, I totally agree. Check with a dermatologist first. I hope it isn't alopecia.

 

[leona2025]

Maybe you should first see a doctor to figure out why she has a bald spot. Once you eliminate any disease that needs to be treated first (anemia, thyroid issues, seborrheic dermatitis, etc), then we can start trying to find topical ways to help her get her hair back to health. I think you're all trying too many things at the same time. But until you're sure it's not something internal causing these problems, I think you might be looking for a needle in a haystack.

The bald patch started as long as the rest of her hair, but when she decided to stop combing it, it knoted up and she broke off more with harsh handling. Then she got a relaxer and and she had a chemical burn there and she picked at it and pulled the hair out.

 

[leona2025]

bump bump bump

 

[MissNina]

Okay ladies, my sister is more concerned about her hair and is trying to get it healthy. The problem is I don't know what to tell her to do for her head. Everything I do for mine I tell her, but her hair is fighting her tooth and nail like it wants to stay raggedy. She has a 2in wide 2 inch long bald spot at her nape. Then she only wants to use leave in products. She really doesn't want to do it if you have to wash it out. I mixed up some mega tek with oils for her to apply on that bald spot.
Her hair feels very coarse and greasy and dry. She puts like 5 greasy products in her hair every morning and thinks she has moisturized. We have tried several moisturizers and she heaps so much other stuff on I can't tell if they are working for her. Everytime she combs she gets a large fist full of broken hair falling out. I'm thinking she needs some hard protein, but I don't use hard protein myself and I'm really scared of that Aphogee 2 step.
Every product I have she has at her disposal, but I just don't what to do. I told her to dc with moisture and she does and she's been using Aphogee 2min, but we really need to stop that breakage before she is bald. I told her to start buning and stop combing everyday. I need any tips that can help. My hair wasn't in that kind of shape when I started my journey and I don't know how to help her.

Ummm how old is your sister? If she is serious about getting her hair right, she will do what she can regardless if she has to wash it out or not. And heavy protein may not be the answer. . .it depends on what kind of "greasy products" she is putting on her hair. Heavy protein is great but it is nothing to play with. . .esp when you just start using it.

You're in Houston and that is a large area so maybe you can find a stylist from the salon section or PM a member from your area for a recommendation. That may be best. I know a lot of women on here are against stylists and stuff but, if you can find a good one, she/he may be your best bet for getting your hair back on track so you can handle it again. Her situation/case sounds really severe and you don't really wanna do trial and error stuff and make it worse. This is JMHO though. Good luck to you.

 

[TrustMeLove]

It doesn't seem like she is serious about getting her hair back on track. I dont' see how we can help.

 

[tallnomad]

Seems like she should be trying to use you as her inspiration. Sounds like you're a very good living example of one who is trying to achieve healthy thriving hair. You can only help those who really want to be helped. I would literally sit her down and ask her if she is serious about getting her hair healthy. Then, I would tell her that you will be her support as long as she is taking active steps toward healthy hair. I agree with the others, she should go see a doctor. I mean she has her own free will to choose what she thinks will work best for her, but if she is not willing to listen to any of your suggestions, I would leave it alone. Don't know if she is complaining a lot, but I would tell her that you cannot be her sounding board until she at least tries some of your suggestions.

I truly think internal health is the most important thing for healthy hair. I am doing the egg challenge with some other ladies--Bronzebomshell started it. Even though I am in braids, I can tell my hair is getting healthier. The drink is from a book or recipe entitled "How I stopped going bald and started growing hair" (something like that). It might be a bit radical and extreme, but that's just one of many options that women are taking for optimal health.
(the link is below)

http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=288413

 

[leona2025]

I thank you all for your comments and I have express my fustration with her over laziness. My sister is 23. For the most part we use to have the same texture hair and what products work for me I'm sure would work for her, but you guys are right. If she doesn't want to help herself I can't help her. I wanted her to go to get a really good trim, but she's trying her best to hold on to the broken damaged hair she has. In some areas it's nearly BSL and in others SL and NL. It's amazing because I seen the decline in her hair from the beginning. She started off with some what healthy BSL, but her focus has always been on style and not health. She never conditioned and shampoo, but I never did those things either and my hair was not on this damaged level as hers. I think it's it maybe because my hair is thick and can take a lot of bruising and hers is thin.

 

[heyfranz]

both dry and greasy? she needs some moisture. Also, there are stickies that can help with this. They have one for hair breakage.

 

[NYAmicas]

I'd check with a dermatologist and contemplate going natural.

 

[naturalgurl]

IA with previous posters on going to a doc and to stop using so much stuff. It truly takes patience in this hair game. Something we all don't want to pay, but trust me, patience is key. If you can talk her out of using so much stuff and stick to one, that would be great. In my honest opinion, I think that megatek is a little much for hair that is so damaged and especially since you don't know what's causing the breakage. Good luck! Try getting her to join here...once this thread is long buried! LOL!

 

[Prose Princess]

If her hair is dry and greasy, she probably needs to clarify and stop putting so much product on her hair between washes. If she insists on doing that, DON'T by any means tell her about co-washing, it will make matters worse...I know this from experience .

As for the bald spot, it's best for her to start taking care of it as soon as possible if it's the result of a chemical burn. If that's what it's from, a dermatologist visit will probably only result in them telling her whether the damage is permanent or not if it's not an internal problem, but if you feel you want to go that route then by all means, get her checked out. In the meantime try using some Bee Mine growth serum on that area since Mega-Tek has so much protein in it, but at the same time don't completely avoid protein because her hair needs to be rebuilt if it is heavily damaged.

As for her attitude, I don't know her, but if I had to guess I would say she's probably reluctant to accept advise from you because she's feeling like she's losing control over her hair, and not knowing how to take care of your own body can be a little embarrassing for some people. Plus, if you all have the same hair type and used to use the same hair practices but you ended up in a better place than she did for your starting point, she might feel like whatever works for your hair might not work for hers. If she doesn't want to accept your advice and let you help her, then you should probably just direct her to this site so that she can take matters into her own hands and give her more control. Hopefully she uses it wisely.