Ready to Give UP!!!!!

[acebooncoon]

Okay Ladies I think I am going to just shave all of my hair off!!! Currently my hair grazes the bottom of my neck. My problem is breakage. No matter what I seem to do it just keeps breaking off. At this point, I have identified so many possiable causes that my hair just seems doomed. For starters I can't do a decent roller set to save my life so I curl it every three or so days. I do wash and condition it every three of four days but I lose a ton of hair in the comb out. I am currently trying to extend my relaxer but it is just not working. I am at about 5 weeks and I can't do anything with it but at the same time my amount of new growth doesn't seem that impressive. My ends are always dry and it looks like someone chewed my hair. At this point, I think I need to cut it but should I go ahead and relax and cut it since I am having so many problems and just deep condition it with the strongest stuff possible twice a week and see how long I can extend my relaxer then. I do think that extending a relaxer is better for your hair but right now I think that battling two different texture and trying to repair your hair is just to diffcult to do. I guess what I am asking for is you advice and product recommendations. What would you do if you all were in my shoes. I am realistic as far as time for improvement goes. I would like to see if I can turn this problem around in the next three months. Please help /images/graemlins/whyme.gif and thanks again

 

[Cowgirl]

(((hugs))) don't give up.

I feel your pain. I have felt the same way so many times over the last 2 months. Hang in there. You will eventually find the right routine and combination of products that make your hair look & feel like a million bucks. I'm still searching myself but I know it's out there somewhere. /images/graemlins/sekret.gif

 

[acebooncoon]

Thanks!! /images/graemlins/smile.gif I really needed that. Sometimes it can just get so stressful especially when you have so many other things to do besides worry about hair.

 

[webby]

Ace, don't do anything drastic. You will regret it, and I'm talking from experience. First, of all…if you are experiencing breakage, you need to use appropriate products: Nexxus KerapHix, Nexxus Emergencee, Penetrait and Vita Tress. I myself am using these very products right now. I use Penetrait one week, KerahPix the next, back to Penetrait and then Emergencee (follow the instructions explicitly).

Others here can probably recommend some additional products; I’m just listing what has worked for me. I noticed an immediate difference after using KerapHix for the first time. You should also use moisturizers in your hair: Bone Marrow, Humectress, which is also great as a leave-in.

Also, the art of doing a good roller-set comes with practice. It actually took me years to get my sets Dominican Salon perfect, but after paying a professional to mess up my hair, I decided to keep practicing. Right now, with the damage, you should try to limit as much handling as possible. Long hair, is not always healthy hair. You should focus on revitalizing what you have, ensuring that your new growth is in optimal shape.

One more thing…don’t forget your trims. I prefer to get dustings, as it preserves length, but if hair is extremely damaged, you may need one good trim, maintaining it with dustings.

HTH

 

[KAddy]

Hi Ace,

I too am at week 5 post relaxer and my hair is getting a little trying. I do want to echo what webby said about Keraphix. Two weeks ago I started using it mixed with Humectress (also by Nexxus) because I was experiencing breakage and shedding and because I saw Candibaby said it was nice and works well. I am telling you that this does work. I have done it twice and have noticed substantial difference in breakage (meaning I don't hardly see any).

Another thing I decided to do to minimize the breakage is to not really comb my hair with a comb. After I wash and condition my hair I use a leave-in conditioner and a little oil and roller set. I know you said you aren't that good with setting, but keep trying practice makes perfect.

Once my hair is dry, I just pin curl it at night and finger comb in the morning. Our hair might be the smae length, or your might be longer than mine. But I just wear it curly and put a head band on in the front. It works well. So when the night comes I put a little of Carol's Daugther Some of Marguerite's Magic on my hair, pincurl and do it all over again.

Don't give up, it takes patience to get to your goal and in the long run you will be happy that you didn't do anything drastic. /images/graemlins/smile.gif

 

[ubavka123]

Don't give up!! Whatever you are doing right now, that you didn't do before, keep doing! Remember that the hair that you mistreated is still on your head, but the hair that you are babying is emerging. If you abused your hair for a long time, it is not going to turn around just because you are treating it better. It will take time to reap the benefits, but please, wait and don't give up. You are not the only one waiting. /images/graemlins/smile.gif Time and eventually cutting the damaged hair is what will help. But don't do that just yet! And don't relax! If 5 weeks is stretching for you, you must have been used to more frequent relaxing, which might explain the condition of your hair. Try to make it three more weeks if you can. Also, don't comb your hair as much. It is amazing what you can do with your 10 fingers! I had to learn this, the hard way. I felt like I must comb my hair each day. I quickly got over that when I realized that too vigorous and frequent combing leads to excessive breaking. Also, focus on health! If your hair is healthy it will grow longer because it will break less. You are on the right track. Don't give up. Make sure you take some photos to chart the changes, because they creep at a snail's pace! When you look at pictures after several months, you will see the difference and your hard efforts will pay off! /images/graemlins/smile.gif I wrote this for myself just as much as for you! I have to tell myself this all the time!!! Good luck!

 

[Poohbear]

Acebooncoon,

what goals do you have for your hair? Set your goals and do what it takes to reach them. Don't shave all your hair off unless you feel comfortable doing that in order to achieve a healthy start with your hair.
HTH! /images/graemlins/kiss.gif

 

[kitchen_tician]

Acebooncoon, I don't have much advice, but don't give up! It takes time and patience. I'm sure you'll overcome your hair challenges. Oh, I do have one suggestion. Maybe the Nexxus Emergencee will help, because it's especially for breakage. Keep us posted and Keep the Faith!!! /images/graemlins/kiss.gif

 

[Carlie]

Acebooncoon, when you say you curl it every 3 days or so, did you mean w. a curling iron? If so this could be contributing to your problems if breakage is already an issue for you and you mentioned that your "ends are always dry and it looks like someone chewed my hair," then I would totally cut out the hot curling and after cutting those ends off, I would do a protein treatment, deep condition often, and just keep my hair/ends moisturized while wearing protective styles. Your hair sounds like it's long enough to wear in a bun, is it?

 

[sengschick]

Acebooncoon, please don't give up. You can do this. Is it possible for you to style your hair w/o using heat? If your ends are alreay suffering the last thing they need is heat. I'm not a bun fan either, but pinning your hair up after a braid-out or something of the sort may give you really beautiful results and increase your options. And above all it will allow you to get some moisture back in those ends.

 

[kitchen_tician]

ITA, the heat every "3 days or so" may be the problem. Maybe you could try wrapping it or try some satin rollers. /images/graemlins/smile.gif

My ends would like a mess /images/graemlins/antlers.gif if I hot curled them every 3 days or so. They would get dry, brittle and break off. /images/graemlins/frown.gif

 

[Faith]

Have you thought of braiding it up? Maybe do this emergencee treatment and then braid it up. My hair grows when I keep my hands out of it and it does have the tendency to be dry and break and split so I have been wearing it up 99% of the time with the ends moisturized and I DO NOT USE HEAT ANYMORE. Good luck to you. You can change your hair's health around BUT it does take time.

 

[Nyambura]

I think you've gotten excellent advice here. /images/graemlins/smile.gif

Especially with laying off the heat-styling, deep conditioning, and patience. I don't know about you, but the last one (patience) has been the hardest for me to learn. I won't repeat what the other ladies have so eloquently said but I would like to point out that you have 2 separate concerns.

1. retaining length - what you're doing to your relaxed hair: i.e., dry, brittle ends from hotcurling weekly and not protecting your ends;

- AND -

2. handling your new growth - e.g., losing a lot of hair during comb-outs: relaxed ends and virgin roots have two radically different tensile strengths - and when you get a tangle, guess which one is more likely to go first?

Extending relaxers doesn't work for everyone. There are women here with long hair who touchup approx every 8 weeks, while others can wait months on end. Do what's right for your hair.

For me, I handle the already-relaxed hair, my ends, differently than I do my un-chemically-relaxed roots - both are necessary to care for but for me require different techniques, which have already been laid out by the knowledgeable ladies in this thread.

Please don't give up! Good luck, and happy hair-growing, acebooncoon!