Ready to give up (long)

Quinette

Quinette

New Member
Hello ladies.
I am still somewhat new here so many of you do not know me. I was a little disappointed today. I'd had my hair in braids for about a month and today I took them down to wash and redo (I have taken them down once before, 2 weeks ago.) Every month I take a picture of my hair to see if it has grown, well tonight I had my SO measure for me and take the pic's. HE told me that my hair had grown 1 1/2 inches, but when I checked myself I had only gained an inch. Now I have only been doing this for about 3 months but, I thought I should have gained more length.

Before I started coming here I was very hard on my hair, combing it with a fine tooth comb, making a very tight ponytail, and flat ironing everyday(unless I had it in braids.) I did wash once a week but, I didn't deep condition I just did hot oil treatments. I got my ends clipped every six weeks like I was told to do but, that was about it. Right before I found this site I went to the Beauty Salon and had my hair done for the first time in 7 years. She cut a good amount off because she said it was damaged. Well my hair looked great even though it was shorter than I would have liked, it has grown back with a little more but not much.

Since I've joined here, I wash my hair twice a week with CON (green label), I condition with Suave Humetecant, I deep condition with ORS replenishing pak and I put in Nexxus Humtress, Olive oil, Jojoba oil and Kemi oyl mixed with distilled water and Frizz Ease as my leave In's. I clarify every two weeks with Keracare 1st later.

My grandmother usually clips my ends for me but the last time I asked her which was about two weeks ago she said they were fine and they hadn't been cut for about a month. I wear a phony pony with the baggie method for my protective style and after I wash I just let my hair air dry with a scarf tied around my head to flatten out my new growth and I always sleep in a satin cap even when my hair is in braids.

I am 19 weeks post relaxer, which is the longest I've ever gone without wearing braids consistently ( I once wore braids for a year, before I got a relaxer, but I wasn't taken good care of my hair.) The relaxer I used was Dr.Miracles, I do not plan to relax again until March 07' as I was hoping this would help my growth.

Since around the age of 10 my hair has never been longer than shoulder length. I had a curl(Wave Nouveau) when I was about 7 and then my mom let a friend of hers put a relaxer on top of it and most of my hair came out. Once it grew back in, it stopped at shoulder length and I just won't budge.

Am I doing something wrong? I am ready to just give up and except the fact that my hair will never be any longer.
To all who read this rant. Thank you for taking the time to read my whining , I know it is very long but, I just needed to vent.:)
 
seems like you're doing everything right to me....and you should be grateful that you got an inch in 3 months, it takes me about 4 months at a 1/4 of an inch a month!!!!

HHG
 
Please stop beating yourself up.

Hair, on average, (keyword: average) grows 1/2 inch a month. People like me only grow 1/4 inch a month.

Hair grows slower in the fall and winter months.
 
Cosigning with Anky and Naturallovely!

My hair grows close to 1/4 of an inch a month, too. Be happy that your hair is growing :) Sounds like you have a good regime...persistence is key. If it ain't broke, don't fix it.

If you wanted to, maybe you could try adding a few other simple things like exercising more, drinking more water, and/or adding a multi-vitamin to your routine (forgive me if you already mentioned doing any of these).

Good luck and congrats on the growth!
 
I think we sometimes get so excited about a healthy haircare routine, that we set our hairgrowth expectations TOO high. When I first started, I didn't think it was unreasonable to believe that my hair could grow 2inches a month!! lol. But I quickly learned that patience is truly the key to this whole thing. It's easy to get frustrated, especially when it seems like everyone around you is excelling w/their progress - but know that you aren't alone in your frustrations.

Just continue doing what you're doing - and don't forget to have fun with it! Stress is killer on the tresses!
 
When I first started taking care of my hair, it was still breaking faster than it was growing so I didn't gain length right away. :nono: I personally believe you shouldn't started checking for length gains unless it's been at least 6-12 months.
 
Welcome Quinette!

As everyone else said, please try not to get too frustrated. In my book, 1 inch to 1.5 inches in three months is really good! I'm glad to see all the other 1/4 inch a month girls chimed in, because that's where I am too :lol: . Just try to ignore what you may hear about 2 inches a month, because it's far from the norm (not knockin anyone, I'm just saying that for most of us, getting 5-6 inches a year is a chore on it's own). PATIENCE is the only pill for hair growth :cool:.

Your regimine sounds great to me! I would stick with it. Since you've been baggying and protecting your ends and you said you didn't NEED a trim, it sounds like your retaining length. Just focus on that for now--whatever you're doing is working and over time, that's going to accumulate. Additionally, your regimine has changed dramatically, so in a year's time I guarantee you'll see amazing progress.

I know how you feel though. I've known about this site for about a year and a half, and at first, I figured I'd have waistlength hair now :lol: . That's not really how it works though...it's definitely a process. The other day I looked over my progress and I said, well, I'm not waistlength, but my hair is healthy, and I'm doing the right things, so I'll get there eventually.

Just check out the progress of some of the ladies here with hair that you like. I'm sure you'll see that for many, it takes some time ;)
 
Most people feel the same way when they first start. I know I did. It takes time for your hair to grow. So relax and keep doing what you are doing. Everything you are doing sounds right on point. Happy hair growing. :)
 
yes, i agree with all of the other wonderful ladies here. don't set your goals and expectations too high.

also - i know how exciting starting a new healthy routine can be but try not to think about 'length' so much for a while. treat your hair well and check back and measure it every few months or so and you'll see better results. checking every month is too soon in my book because hair grows slowly. if you wait and then check results over a period of time you'll be surprised! good luck with your hair journey!

and remember- if your hair is healthy then eventually the length will come on its own.
 
sareca said:
When I first started taking care of my hair, it was still breaking faster than it was growing so I didn't gain length right away. :nono: I personally believe you shouldn't started checking for length gains unless it's been at least 6-12 months.
Click to expand...
This is true.

Don't worry about your hair too much, Quinette, it always grows when you're not looking. :Rose:
 
Chiming in and agreeing with everyone else. Enjoy your hair journey because it should be fun. Your hair sounds like its growing just fine. The routine you have sounds like its working for you, so I wouldn't change that either.

Hair growth really shouldn't be a race. Sure, its there's days when it gets on all of our nerves, but, please don't beat yourself up over any of it.

-A
 
sareca said:
When I first started taking care of my hair, it was still breaking faster than it was growing so I didn't gain length right away. :nono: I personally believe you shouldn't started checking for length gains unless it's been at least 6-12 months.
Click to expand...

This makes perfect sense! I had a similar problem too--I thought my hair was shoulder length when started, but it was so think and I had a tremendous amount of breakage. It had to fill in first before I started seeing some length. ITA though, once you get your hair in a healthy state (be it growing damaged areas or regaining thickness), then you should look look for length.
 
It has been stated before but I am too one of those 1/4 inches a month ladies. When I first started here I saw no results. But when I stopped doing my own relaxers and founding what works for me ( rollersetting and falls) is when I started seeing results. It takes time. I have decided to stop looking for lengh and just good with making my hair look nice and healthy every day. Lenght is coming. If you look at my album when I started and look at my avavator and signature pictures you will see what I am saying. Some people gets to their goals quicker than others but we can all reach our goals.
 
The previous posters are so right. I have stopped :ohwell: sighing when I see others with long hair, curled or straight, hanging down their backs at work, on the streets, wherever. Many wear their hair out, no matter the weather, the wind velocity. I take a closer look at some then notice their flyaways, tangles, the splits, the thinning areas, the unhealthy appearance. The saddest are those with extra long, locked hair with balding scalps and crowns. I observe what others are buying at the BSS, mostly mineral oil products, hair grease or weaving hair. The products I want are usually in good supply.
I get so many silly comments at work such as "Why are you looking like Aunt Jemima, {or an old woman} with that scarf on your head" or "It's not that cold, why are you all covered up like that with a scarf on your head and around your neck?" Others simply laugh. I no longer comment nor explain my efforts for hair health. The funniest is when someone stands close behind me, :look: scrutinizing my french rolled or bunned do. Probably thinking I've lost my hair or have something to hide since they never see my hair out anymore. I come home, undo my bun, re-moisturize and oil, smile at the healthy ends, the lustrous glow and the new growth which was once thinned out.
Keep up your efforts, the visible payment will come.
 
I agree with the other posters. I think you're being waaay too hard on yourself. It sounds like you're making awesome progress and your regime seems on point.

I know it seems like your hair isn't growing the way you would like it to but sometimes its hard to notice a difference in length in your own hair. For the longest time I swore up and down that I had barely shoulder length hair, I though anyone who told me any different was exaggerating. It wasn't until I started taking the progress photos that I started to believe what others were telling me.

Just keep at it and you'll have the length you desire before you know it.
 
Once you keep good moisture inyour hair...you do not have to clip them every six weeks. You can stretch that time and make sure it is a dusting rather than a 1/2 inch of clipping. That could be a factor in shoulder length hair. A dusting is just the very, very ends of your hair strands.
 
I agree with everyone, I think they is a great amount of length. Girl, just think how much you would have by the end of the year, and that is not including any growth spurts you might get.
 
I think you are doing good! Not to mention you are 19 weeks post...I really didnt see the length until I relaxed my hair after stretching. Maybe you can consider measuring less often. Its really difficult to see any difference in growth if you are checking so often IMO. You will be pleasantly surprised if you wait a while.
 
Wow! Your post sounds like mine a couple of months ago! As the other ladies said...be patient. GIrl, I was checking every week for growth when I first started. Someone else had to tell me my hair was longer than it was a few months ago b/c I had looked at it so much I did not see progress. I bet you will be generally surprised when you straighten your hair out and do a progress check. Your regimen sounds great. Keep that up and remember...

The race is not given to the swift or the strong...but to the one who endures to the end. HHG!
 
Don't give up my dear. You are just overwhelmed at the moment - many of us as newbies were right where you are. We wanted it NOW!! The only advice I can give you is that you should try to make your hair routine as simple as possible because your routine is here for the long haul. Sometimes when we do TOO much, we expect result right away, which is extremely disappointing when it doesn't happen. It might take one head 6 months to see significant improvement and it might take another head more time. If you stick with a simple and sensible haircare routine, stop measuring, leave your hair alone and ignore the PJ growth aid hypes, eventually you will see VERY big improvement. If you give up now, your hair might not get to the health you are seeking so. Just hang in there and have patience. Don't rush it.
 
Thanks so much ladies for all your support. I guess I got so excited about finding you guys and this site that I let my expectations go a little wild. I had been looking for help for a while and like a lot of you said once I found it I became impatient. Again thanks for all the support and proper discipline:lachen: on not giving up.
 
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i didnt read all of the threads but i wouldnt bother checking the length
too much in the winter thats the slow growth season for most folks
 
I am very new also... It looks like you have great routines. When I found this forum, I was looking for tips on getting my hair healthy and filling in my top. I have never put a tape measure to my hair only because I dont want to focus primarily on lenghth. I equate that to jumping on the scale to check my weight. So...I have what I want, healthier hair with my bald spots filling in. I feel sooo lucky considering what my hair did look like before.

KEEP your head UP. With patience and time, you should see your rewards.
 
tsiporah said:
Once you keep good moisture inyour hair...you do not have to clip them every six weeks. You can stretch that time and make sure it is a dusting rather than a 1/2 inch of clipping. That could be a factor in shoulder length hair. A dusting is just the very, very ends of your hair strands.
Click to expand...
i am SO glad someone said this!
i, too, have yet to experience a milestone growth...however, my hair has gotten so much stronger - no more shedding when i blowdry (which i am SO thankful for) and it always feels as if i've gotten it done at a salon.

i haven't been doing everything religiously and i still have much healthier hair than i could've possibly imagined after having joined this site.
 
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