Random Hair Thoughts/Thinking out loud

KinksAndInk said:
Doing an impromptu big chop in the morning. Got extremely lazy and wasn't caring for my hair as I should. Ended up with a large section that is matted and tangled. Have been working on it for days now and getting almost nowhere. Will be going from hip length to about 4 inches of hair or less. Getting box braids or kinky twists Friday...
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I’m so sorry to hear that.
 
Other than wearing lazy styles, I want to have long hair just to say that I have it. I don't actually want the maintenance that comes along with it. I'm not the type to do my hair often and I'm annoyed when I do have to do it because it takes a long time and I have to be super gentle in order to avoid breakage.
 
I will probably not be wearing my hair straightened again at my job for a while. I decided to use my second heat pass this year and really show off ALL of my length, and pretty much the entire closing staff lost their minds.

They hadn’t done it the last time, but the last time I wore my hair straightened it was only just brushing my belt in the back, so I guess it wasn’t as attention grabbing, since there’s about 5-6 other employees with reasonably long hair too. Today my hair was passed my back jean pockets since I’ve retained quite a bit of growth, and my more textured areas were completely straightened out as well, since I hadn’t worn it straight to work since last year or right around January.

I had received more compliments than I could count on both hands, and one of my favorite co-workers was just asking a question a minute on how my hair got this long. She’s so adorable and all around very nice to speak to. I had three managers also compliment me.

So I was feeling exceptionally well, and then....

I had three people just blatantly run their hands in my head. Two of which I know and speak to on a regular basis, but I don’t think they understood the notion of just not touching anything on anyone else without asking. Yes we are work friends, but still.

Only reason I didn’t move or curve their hand while in motion, is because they all touched it the same way: from the back, where I didn’t see them coming up behind me.

There was one co-worker, just ONE, who politely asked if she could touch my hair. I kindly declined because of the other encounters that kind of threw me off. And she respectfully nodded and still complimented me anyways. Everyone else kept their distance.

I’ve had a few other encounters like this when I was natural, but I’d always see them making an attempt and stop them before their hand even made it close enough to me because I could visibly see them.

But this is the first time where not one, but three different people just kind of....invaded my space. I hate to rain on my own parade because I had a really good work day, but idk...the way they touched my hair. It was so...rough and heavy handed. It’s almost like people transmit their intentions through how they touch. I’ve only ever had one other person touch my hair in the most gentle way ever, and that person is my husband. He touches my hair with this level of respect that I can’t really explain.

Maybe it’s just a societal thing? Idk. Maybe it’s some sort of ethnicity thing? Also don’t know. But I should mention that not a single one of the black ladies at my job touched my hair, despite complimenting me. It’s like we all have this unspoken collective of knowing that you can look , but just don’t touch.

If I didn’t know any better, the three women at my job might have some sort of unspoken jealousy? Maybe I’m reaching too far, but idk. Just...don’t touch people without asking.

Out of respect for my own crown, I will probably not do this again. I hate to say that, but it’s instances like these where I understand how irritating it is when people see a black woman with well kept hair, and all of a sudden it turns into an unwarranted petting zoo.

Rant over.
 
@PlanetCybertron

Wow.

Congratulations on reaching butt pocket length! That's amazingly wonderful! Love it!

And OMG at your coworkers!! After reading stories on here over the years, I've decided that I will only wear my fully straightened length when I'm out with my DH. He has learned a lot in the few years that we've been together and he helps shield me even though it's not necessary at this point. Also, I totally understand what you mean about the "respect" that he shows my hair when he does touch it. Maybe it's bc our SO's have a vested interest in us looking and feeling our best while others may not have good intentions.

I know you just spent all of that time straightening that LONG hair but I'm wondering if there's something you could rub through your hair to help "cleanse" it from that negative energy your coworkers transferred, knowingly or unknowingly.
 
GettingKinky said:
This is how I squish to condish- but I don’t think I do it 100% correctly
- I make sure my hair is SOAKING wet
- I add a LOT of conditioner - my hair feels slippery
- I finger detangle and detangle with a wide tooth comb
- I make a cup with my hands and get water from the shower
- I add that water to my hair and squeeze it in
- I keep doing this until I hear a “squishing sound” and my hair stops dripping
- I do this to my hair in 4 sections

Make sure you use a LOT of conditioner and that your hair is completely drenched.

When I’m done my hair is unbelievably wet, but it doesn’t drip at all. It feels very heavy from all of the water. At this point you are supposed to continue with your hair routine without rinsing out the rest of the conditioner, but I rinse the conditioner and then add my leave-in. At some point I’m going to skip this last rinsing step.

There are lots of videos on YouTube of the process. Lots of people flip their head upside down to do it, but that seems like it would cause too many tangles for me.

I hope it works for you, it’s been like magic for me.
Click to expand...
This is how I usually condition, because my hair is in twists when I wash and I don't want to take it out of the twists to condition. I'm just trying to save time.
 
MzSwift said:
@PlanetCybertron

Wow.

Congratulations on reaching butt pocket length! That's amazingly wonderful! Love it!

And OMG at your coworkers!! After reading stories on here over the years, I've decided that I will only wear my fully straightened length when I'm out with my DH. He has learned a lot in the few years that we've been together and he helps shield me even though it's not necessary at this point. Also, I totally understand what you mean about the "respect" that he shows my hair when he does touch it. Maybe it's bc our SO's have a vested interest in us looking and feeling our best while others may not have good intentions.

I know you just spent all of that time straightening that LONG hair but I'm wondering if there's something you could rub through your hair to help "cleanse" it from that negative energy your coworkers transferred, knowingly or unknowingly.
Click to expand...
She can probably sage her hair, or use Pelo Santo. Imho, Pelo Santo smells better lol
 
water_n_oil said:
@PlanetCybertron Nnice job on the retention but ugh @ those people. Idk if it can even be called a race thing because in my case it was always other black people who touched my hair. I will never understand why anyone thinks it's ok to touch any part of someone without their permission.
Click to expand...

I was expecting the same thing when I came to work yesterday. To my surprise though, all the brothers and sistas I guess knew what was up lol
 
MzSwift said:
@PlanetCybertron

Wow.

Congratulations on reaching butt pocket length! That's amazingly wonderful! Love it!

And OMG at your coworkers!! After reading stories on here over the years, I've decided that I will only wear my fully straightened length when I'm out with my DH. He has learned a lot in the few years that we've been together and he helps shield me even though it's not necessary at this point. Also, I totally understand what you mean about the "respect" that he shows my hair when he does touch it. Maybe it's bc our SO's have a vested interest in us looking and feeling our best while others may not have good intentions.

I know you just spent all of that time straightening that LONG hair but I'm wondering if there's something you could rub through your hair to help "cleanse" it from that negative energy your coworkers transferred, knowingly or unknowingly.
Click to expand...

Thank you!

I think I’ll also just reserve the showing off for date night. Complete strangers tend to not even think twice about being in someone’s personal space.

I guess it’s also because my co-workers are comfortable around me, but still. No touchy! Lol
 
GettingKinky said:
@PlanetCybertron Do you have any pictures? I would love to see your butt length hair.
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This is the only picture I took after straightening. I was getting ready for work that morning so excuse me being in my underwear lol. I also took the picture with the smallest mirror I have lol, but I can’t stand my bathroom mirror. Crappy picture quality.

via Imgflip Meme Generator
 
ItsMeLilLucky said:
She can probably sage her hair, or use Pelo Santo. Imho, Pelo Santo smells better lol
Click to expand...

There YOU go, cuz. Trying to get me buy more stuff and I'm not even a PJ!

tenor.gif


*goes off to Google Pelo Santo*
 
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