Incoming rant: apologies for how long it is.
So I’m only apart of two hair sites. Used to be three until Hairlista just ghosted us. I’m not too upset about that since none of us could get along over there anyways.
This site and The Long Hair Community are the only two sites I frequent daily.
I love my ladies over at TLHC, but darn it some of them irritate me with how blatantly careless they are about trying to understand hair texture differences. Not all of them. The majority of them are beyond understanding, and look at all textures as down right beautiful and unique. Those folks, I love talking to them. They’re down to earth.
BUT....and this is rather constant, but I’m always stumbling across someone blatantly proclaiming that certain hair practices are “damaging”. I made a comment a while back stating that I was intending on keeping my braids in for two weeks.
“That sounds damaging”. How? I boil it down to ignorance. And not the bad kind, just what it actually means to not know. Most if not all of us have hair textures that flourish when tucked away or twisted, or braided together to keep the individual strands protected. When they’re all teamed up, they’re stronger. I haven’t the slightest clue why this isn’t blatantly obvious to folks of other hair textures. All it takes is a quick google search.
Then someone mentioned how build up isn’t really a “thing”. For them probably not. Espeacially if we’re not using the same products. But for someone with silk-like, fine hair, that’s Afro textured, it’s a very real thing for me. They stated that using enough water should somehow combat buildup even when using mineral oil.
Wait...hold up, hold up....
Is your perspective that narrow? I don’t mind my hair being weighed down, espeacially if using stuff like Shea Butter or any other oil, but oils don’t moisturize. They seal. I can try to moisturize with water all I want, but if there’s a week’s worth of oil on my strands, it’s not going to let ANYTHING get through. Zip. Zero. Nada.
Then someone mentioned that if the comb or brush doesn’t flow through the hair without any resistance, there’s damage. That doesn’t mean that at all. It means some folks have hair that’s textured, coiled, kinky, or wavy enough to where the brush isn’t going to glide through in one go. That does not equal damage.
I’m just tired of folks saying down right stupid stuff.
If you don’t know, or haven’t even tried researching on customized hair practices for varying hair textures, why, on EARTH, do folks feel the need to make huge generalizations about hair and hair care, as if every last head of hair is even remotely similar to theirs?
My husband is straight up European/Irish ethnicity, and I’ve been helping him with hair since he’s decided to go it long. He’s about where BSL would be on a woman. What did I do first? I spent roughly 2-3 years researching how to care for hair of his texture, and just plain old getting a firm understanding of it. He’s got an oily scalp, Acute SD, fine strands like mine, and pin straight hair that’s blonde. Obviously I’m not going to try the LOC/LCO method on him or suggest the Shea Retention thing we do here. His hair does great with a daily Medicated sulphate shampoo, shampooing the entire length of hair from roots to tips, a small dab of conditioner of the ends, no oils, and put up in loose braid or bun.
Same thing with him spending the entire time we’ve been together and married understanding and researching my hair and it’s texture. He’s not going to suggest I shampoo my entire head. He’s not going to state that oils or butter are too heavy for my hair. He’s not going to say that keeping braids in for a Fortnite is “damaging”, because he took the time to understand that we have completely different textures that need completely different care. On the occasion I let him detangle my hair, above all else, he understands that the comb isn’t going to glide through my hair like his does. It doesn’t mean my hair is damaged, it means I have a different hair structure than his.
Only reason I’m irritated is because I would genuinely love to see people from all ethnicities come together and understand eachother’s Hair care and how unique and beautiful it is. There’s a bunch of methods I didn’t know worked for my hair, and I never would’ve known without going and straight up asking and finding out. I have a life long friend who lives in Maryland, and my mom taught her how to properly install cornrows, and she’s texted me a few times saying that she’s retained more length with cornrows than she does with buns. She’s of Latino ethnicity, and every time she comes down to visit she’s rocking her cornrows with a little flower clip. She gets a lot of breakage at the roots, so the cornrows keep all her hair together and free from tangling up at the roots.
I’ve learned a lot of washing methods and conditioning methods from TLHC, and I combine them with all of the methods I’ve picked up from lurking here at the LHCF before I joined. You never know what might work for you.
I know there’s a lot of tension in America going on with ethnical issues, and arguing, and misunderstanding, and this and that and more of that and this, but if i can start in small places like online hair care forums, I’d love more than anything to see people coming together and all of us swinging and swooshing our long hair all over the place.
But alas....I’m still met with people who just don’t care.
I’m rather kind-hearted when discussing things like this, or things I don’t agree on, but lately I’ve just been on no chill mode.
Rant over.