Psa: Behind Every Great Woman Is A Gaggle Of Men

[Layluh]

Relationships: Behind Every Good Woman is a Gaggle of Men?
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ON MAY 23, 2013LATEST POSTS



By Staff Blogger

You have heard the phrase, “Behind every good man there is a good woman.” There is a flip side to this phrase. Maybe it should say, “Behind every good woman there is a gaggle of men.”

That’s right, a gaggle. A new study suggests that women should keep a vast group of men around in their lives so that they have choices for relationships instead of being around only one or two men as friends and feeling stuck. Don’t bother searching for Mr. Right, but instead surround yourself with a host of potential Mr. Rights.


Jessica Massa has written a book called Gaggle and also runs a website with a partner, Rebecca Wiegand, called WTF Is Up With My Life. They both say that every woman, whether she is single or involved, should have a gaggle of men around her. The men all play different roles. For example, one you may call when you have a problem, one you may call to go shopping with, one you may call to go to a baseball game. Whenever you need someone they are there.

Massa and Wiegand say that having a gaggle is a way of keeping your options open in the dating pool and could lead to a more fulfilling love life as you find out what that perfect match for you really is.

New York dating coach Terri Trespicio says that if you are single, enjoy being single and date a few men at once to see what possibilities are out there. She says that if you date one person you may feel more pressured to commit even if you aren’t particularly happy with that person. According to these women, marriage and the settled life isn’t always for everyone.

Do you agree that this is a healthy approach to relationships?

 

[Layluh]

Well? What do y'all think?

 

[silverbuttons]

 

[GreenEyedJen]

I don't know if it's healthy or not, but this has been my life for at least the last decade. I actually wish I had more women friends. I literally only have guys. I have four women that are friends and they all live hundreds if not thousands of miles away from me.

On the flip side, I don't remember the last time I paid for an activity.

 

[IronButterfly]

I knew a woman who used to do this and she was a miserable thing! She actually went to therapy because she couldn't find "the one", but she knew lots and lots of men. UE type of men, too. Had the nerve to make one of them "wait a year" (as she put it) and he still wouldn't put a ring on it.

 

[LiftedUp]

Do you agree that this is a healthy approach to relationships?

It's an opinion. Anyway what may work for some women may not work for all. I don't like male friends like that and I prefer quality over quantity. To find my version of quality in droves like that isn't that easy

 

[UniquelyDivine]

My mother has told me this for years.

 

[C@ssandr@]

Is that Wendy Raquel Robinson in the OP?

 

[JFK]

This only works well for a certain type of woman who won't fall into bed quickly with the men.

A weak and emotionally needy woman will play herself out quickly doing this because 98% of the male "friends" are waiting for the day you fall for them.

 

[ElegantPearl17]

This definitely doesn't apply to me. I have trouble keeping one much less a gaggle

 

[GetHappy2014]

I love the idea. But I find it hard to manage. I always get the guys who want to be exclusive. I see it as.... They want to take me off the market while we get acquainted. I prefer to continue dating others as I continue to learn more about them. Since I haven't learned how to say, "No, let's keep it casual." I find myself eventually ditching them and then disappointed that I wasted my time, focusing solely on them.

So, do we tell them about the 'gaggle' of men or not?

 

[qchelle]

Gaggle.....what a funny word lol

 

[ItsMeLilLucky]

Gaggle.....what a funny word lol

It's even funnier when you stare at it for a while lol.

 

[giigii613]

I love the idea. But I find it hard to manage. I always get the guys who want to be exclusive. I see it as.... They want to take me off the market while we get acquainted. I prefer to continue dating others as I continue to learn more about them. Since I haven't learned how to say, "No, let's keep it casual." I find myself eventually ditching them and then disappointed that I wasted my time, focusing solely on them.

So, do we tell them about the 'gaggle' of men or not?[/QUOTE]

In my opinion no to it depends. Don't show your hand just play your cards.

 

[giigii613]

I agree with the sentiment behind the idea but it depends on your expectations as a woman. In my case I have a collection of men from just maneuvering through life where when we first met I would have considered dating but the longer we knew each other the more I saw how our relationship wouldn't work over the long term so I have no interest in dating, kissing much less sexing with them. So even though they are eligible men who look out for me I'm absolutely ok if they go off, get married and blow out whatever flame they may have for me. I guess a part of me is still hoping the knight and shining armor, butterflies in my stomach amazing chemistry dream comes true but if it doesn't at least I will have options to create a new reality.

 

[Crackers Phinn]

A new study suggests that women should keep a vast group of men around in their lives so that they have choices for relationships instead of being around only one or two men as friends and feeling stuck. Don’t bother searching for Mr. Right, but instead surround yourself with a host of potential Mr. Rights.

A host of potential Mr. Rights are going to be off the market quickly. Most women who attempt this are going to be surrounded by f-b0ys who reiterate what 'good men' they are waiting for a moment of weakness to smash.

 

[OhTall1]

Is that Wendy Raquel Robinson in the OP?

Yeah I was confused too. Here's a picture of Jessica Massa and Rebecca Wiegand.

 

[FemmeFatale]

Not my thing, I'm a quality over quantity, very specific type of girl all day everyday. When I wanted a Chanel, no amount LV bags were able to satisfy me, and it's the same with men.. I can't be bothered.

 

[silverbuttons]

A new study suggests that women should keep a vast group of men around in their lives so that they have choices for relationships instead of being around only one or two men as friends and feeling stuck. Don’t bother searching for Mr. Right, but instead surround yourself with a host of potential Mr. Rights.

A host of potential Mr. Rights are going to be off the market quickly. Most women who attempt this are going to be surrounded by f-b0ys who reiterate what 'good men' they are waiting for a moment of weakness to smash.

Unless you're 35 and up, I doubt you'd have that problem.

off the market = married, right?

 

[Crackers Phinn]

Unless you're 35 and up, I doubt you'd have that problem.

off the market = married, right?

Yep married or at very least in relationships with someone else.

 

[DarkJoy]

Unless you're 35 and up, I doubt you'd have that problem.

off the market = married, right?

Its not a problem for the 35 and up crowd either. Fbois are always a problem.

 

[caribeandiva]

Another way of saying: Have a rotation. I completely agree with that sentiment.

 

[DarkJoy]

Another way of saying: Have a rotation. I completely agree with that sentiment.

exactly!

the rotation, the roster and now the gaggle. these ww aint come up with anything new.

 

[silverbuttons]

Its not a problem for the 35 and up crowd either. Fbois are always a problem.

I meant the 'off the market men.'
The ratio of single good guys to fbois is better when you're younger.

 

[barbiesocialite]

This only works well for a certain type of woman who won't fall into bed quickly with the men.

A weak and emotionally needy woman will play herself out quickly doing this because 98% of the male "friends" are waiting for the day you fall for them.

I agree.

 

[MsSanz92]

This is my approach to dating. I have many men in my phone now who I know would love to date me exclusively, however they just don't make the cut. Many of these guys are good men, they're just not what I want or on my level. I'm looking for a specific kind of man to take me off the market, and while I've met several guys who I would want to be with exclusively, they either don't want the same, or I eventually realize things about their personality that make us incompatible. Granted I'm still in my 20s, so I have time to find Mr. Right, but keeping your options open is good, but not for anyone. I have friends who only talk to or date one guy at a time and I just couldn't. I would get so bored! Even if I have a "primary" guy who's at the top of my roster at the moment, I never drop everyone else just as soon as one guy begins to stand out, because they can (and have) quickly done things to get them removed from that primary spot. The only way I'll drop my roster is if I'm in an exclusive relationship.

 

[GeorginaSparks]

This is how i dated and i always had stuff to do, places to go. All very different men with a different purpose. Life was interesting and fun back then.

 

[Dposh167]

But the article states to keep a group of potential mr rights around you. I wouldnt bother keeping men who i dont see myself getting with around me. A waste of time. Ill try anything new. Obviously what ive been doing hasnt worked....so ill try this way out