Please help my Bestie (RELAXER TROUBLES)

[BiRacialBarbie]

My best friend who lives in another state needs help. She is very VERY fine VERY thin 4a, neck length/some pieces touching shoulders. Her hair is shorter in the front and middle of her hair, with the sides and back being longer. She relaxes every 4 weeks with a box relaxer. She does not get regular trims. As you all know, her hair is probably breaking off from all the chemicals. She usually wears a sew in for 3-4 weeks, sometimes wearing a weave ponytail. When she flat irons her hair she does not put any oils in it, nor does she use a ceramic iron. I dont believe she DCs. I do not know what her washing reggie is, but its a max of 1 shampoo a week. She told me her hair stops growing at her shoulders (lies!)

I have seen the progress alot of you 4a ladies have made, and i know that it is possible. I would love to help her out, but i dont know anything about relaxers, damaged hair, chemical breakage, transititioning, and just 4a hair period. Can SOMEONE pleaseeee write her a reggie? Or maybe just some things i can tell her to do? She is in tears over her hair. Shes had relaxers since a very young age (so probably 12 years at the least). If you have any questions regarding to her hair, i will be glad to answer them in this thread.

TIA!!!

 

[soulie]

1. Reduce the frequency of the relaxers - see if she can start by going 8 weeks then working up to 12.
2. Reduce the use of heat
3. Moisturize daily
4. Shampoo once a week
5. Deep condition 2x a week

These are very general; but 1-2 can be done immediately. 3-5 will require selecting products. I know many others will come in with more specifics.

 

[lovenharmony]

I won't write a reggie, but I can offer advice. First of all....tell her to STOP RELAXING EVERY 4 WEEKS!!! 6 to 8 weeks is the preferred time to relax new growth - 12 is better. Personally I would tell her to wait until her natural hair hair grows in and BC (big chop) since her hair is so damaged, but I know that's not for everyone. I would also ask her to minimize the amount of heat she uses to once a week. Her best bet is to trim away the uneven, damaged ends off and start taking care of her hair with deep conditioning, maintaining a protein / moisture balance, and protective styling. The sew in weaves she wears is a form of protective styling, but she has to remember not to neglect her real hair underneath. There are many ladies on this hair board who have worn or who presently wear sew ins and are successful in growing their hair out long and strong. You can do a search for those threads as well - just search for "sew in weaves grow hair".

Does she cover her hair at night? If she doesn't, I suggest that she do so with a satin or silk scarf / bonnet. Either that or invest in silk or satin pillowcases. HTH

 

[Mook's hair]

Agreeing with soulie and adding:
It is important that the first thing she do is change to relaxing every other month.
She will probably try to fight and complain about doing this and you might hear her say things like "I can't my hair needs to be touched up sooner than that." Call BullSh' when she says these things.

Also, with this type of relaxer frequency, whe needs to do a protein treatment. I think once a month should be enough. She should always follow her relaxer with a protein treatment. apHoGee is a popular one, KPak too or she can just mix up raw egg, mayo & olive oil and add some conditioner to it.

She needs to let her hair rest after taking down her sew ins. I suspect that she takes them out and relaxes right away....This is a bad idea since her hair is already damaged and not thriving. After removing a sew in, she should deep condition for an hour under a hood dryer and wait at least 6 or 7 days before she does her touch up.

Also, after doing a touchup, she should wait 2 or 3 days (at least before installing the next sew in.
She's just putting so much stress on me hair.

When she does her box relaxer, she may want to add a few teaspoons of olive oil to it.

Also, she should coat the previously relaxed hair with something to help prevent overprocessing those areas from the run off.
Most use some neutralizing poo or some olive oil.

Hope this helps.

Tell her that it will be ok, but it will take work to see the improvement.

 

[BiRacialBarbie]

thank you guys so much im about to but her *** in bootcamp

 

[soulie]

thank you guys so much im about to but her *** in bootcamp

Good luck! Let us know how it goes.

 

[JayAnn0513]

You are a good friend.