Physical Attraction

Nah......I need to be at least somewhat attracted to you to date/sleep with you. Having other great qualities, chemistry, attachment will inevitably make you more attractive in my eyes, but there needs to be some level of physical attraction to begin with.

Sorry, not sorry
 
I did. Twice.
I was in my twenties and he was a loser and the peen was the hugest I had ever seen. It was fun. His nickname was 'ugly.' Horrible person I was.
The other, I was older and we're still friends. Nothing serious either. On and off.
So while I never was in a relationship relationship...I did smash them up.
The second one wasn't worth it though. But he's good people.
Wouldn't do that in a serious relationship or today at my age.

ETA- Let me clarify. They weren't handsome but they had sex appeal. Meaning something attracted me. So maybe my responses don't fit here.
 
Fine 4s said:
I did. Twice.
I was in my twenties and he was a loser and the peen was the hugest I had ever seen. It was fun. His nickname was 'ugly.' Horrible person I was.
The other, I was older and we're still friends. Nothing serious either. On and off.
So while I never was in a relationship relationship...I did smash them up.
The second one wasn't worth it though. But he's good people.
Wouldn't do that in a serious relationship or today at my age.

ETA- Let me clarify. They weren't handsome but they had sex appeal. Meaning something attracted me. So maybe my responses don't fit here.
Click to expand...

That balances out the ugly.
 
I also should add that I was dating so many guys I wasn't attracted to that I didn't really know how to communicate with the guys I was attracted to. I loved their adoration. Perhaps, it was a control thing. I was hurt early when I was a teenager.

I could be myself with a guy I wasn't attracted to. There was no risk of getting hurt, I could cut them out of my life with no heartache.
Even now, when I see a guy I am attracted to, I feel I don't have normal womanly responses to that man.
I can become paralyzed and sometimes immature in how I deal with that attraction. I am working on it.

My mother taught me absolutely NOTHING about being a woman, femininity, attraction, vulnerability, owning my sensuality/sexuality and how to choose a mate.
 
CurlyMoo said:
I also should add that I was dating so many guys I wasn't attracted to that I didn't really know how to communicate with the guys I was attracted to. I loved their adoration. Perhaps, it was a control thing. I was hurt early when I was a teenager.

I could be myself with a guy I wasn't attracted to. There was no risk of getting hurt, I could cut them out of my life with no heartache.
Even now, when I see a guy I am attracted to, I feel I don't have normal womanly responses to that man.
I can become paralyzed and sometimes immature in how I deal with that attraction. I am working on it.

My mother taught me absolutely NOTHING about being a woman, femininity, attraction, vulnerability, owning my sensuality/sexuality and how to choose a mate.
Click to expand...
I would suggest dating more! Or even just talking to strangers more often. Sit at a bar and talk to anyone left and right of you. Take an uber and talk. Just be comfortable around strangers in general because even if they are gorgeous you still need to YOU (because you are gorgeous too! And anyone worth a salt would love to get to know you, promise!)
I was shy at first until I saw first hand that ugly men have just mastered the art of being the "nice guy". And then they start screwing with you. Since all men are here to court you, just being a juberant spirit, speak graciously and only speak facts. (None of that stupid "I'm not like other women" garbage) but let them know why you are truly you. You want a man to love you for your best real self.
 
Thank so for the responses ladies.

I think my issue is somewhat similar to @CurlyMoo but I'm at a place now were somehow I just stopped caring and I can talk to any man, hot or not. Someone said something about believing every man wants you, that's tough for me. I'll be chatting/hanging out with a guy and when it's too late I realize he's trying to holla. I don't know how to shut him down without disappearing or being mean in hopes he'll get the point. Lol

Anyway, I asked the question because I have gone out with this guy a few times and I'm attracted to his wok ethic and values but I'm not attracted to him physically. I've tried before without much success and I don't like the person I became in that situation. I'm thinking I should end this before he tries to kiss me. :look:
 
Disclaimer, I believe attraction can grow over time. Meaning I've been friends with a guy, getting to know him and then one day I'm like "you're cute." With that said, yes I have dated men without physical attraction and I've vowed never to do it again. :nono: I need to feel something physical for the man I'm with. If not, it doesn't matter how good the conversation is, how much money he has or how nice he is, it's not going to happen.
 
frogkisses said:
I would suggest dating more! Or even just talking to strangers more often. Sit at a bar and talk to anyone left and right of you. Take an uber and talk. Just be comfortable around strangers in general because even if they are gorgeous you still need to YOU (because you are gorgeous too! And anyone worth a salt would love to get to know you, promise!)
I was shy at first until I saw first hand that ugly men have just mastered the art of being the "nice guy". And then they start screwing with you. Since all men are here to court you, just being a juberant spirit, speak graciously and only speak facts. (None of that stupid "I'm not like other women" garbage) but let them know why you are truly you. You want a man to love you for your best real self.
Click to expand...

Thank you for this! I haven't dated much and I also feel slightly awkward conversing with new guys who I find attractive.
 
No. It never even occurred to me to date anything less than what attracts me. I have always dated hot guys (in my eyes) and never had issues with it. I truly just dgaf.

Recently, however, I've learned to expand my idea of what hot is. Had a blind spot for a certain type of dude (light skinned :look: dont judge me :duck:!) and always blew them off/ignored them even though they might have been cute. No more. It's a brand new world :grin:
 
Yes and no.... At times he was downright fine to me and other times I was turned off by him because of how he dressed. When I'm truly attracted to someone it's usually because they have to whole package, nice dresser, smell good, handsome face, nice body etc
 
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