"PERMED HAIR IS PRETTY,NATURAL HaiR Is UGLY" rant!

F

Freespirit02

New Member
There is this lady at my job who ALWAYS has something negative to say about my hair ever since I went natural. It is never ending. One time she put me on blast in front of a white coworker.:nono:. She is a black Haitian lady..and she has been wearing a wig for the past six years. I haven't seen her hair EVER. She swings it around like it's hers. A part of me wishes it would fall off so I can play hot potato with my co workers.Here is her latest input
LADY(i use that term very loosely): What are you going to do to you hair for the holidays
Me: I don't know
LADY: why don't you perm it so it can look pretty
Me: Because I don't want to..i think natural hair is pretty
LADY: NO permed hair is pretty..natural hair is not
Me: well I like natural hair..and so does my husband..he doesn't like fake women..we don't think it is very attractive
LADY::look:

Oh I almost forgot..she was natural..and still claims to be. I just found out..that she gave in and permed her hair because "she couldn't take it anymore". Perhaps she is pissed that I have lasted..and I actually have the nerve to wear it out..
 
Well, if she can dish it she oughta' be able to take it so you can either go toe to toe, ignore her, or tell her to kiss your @$$ so she can leave you alone.

Other options:

A) Ask her where she got her wig from in the break room in front of everyone.
B) When she starts talking, immediately tell her "stop talking" very calmly and with a straight face.
C) Slide in behind her undetected and give a yank...just enough to noticeably shift it but not necessarily fall on the floor.
 
kmn1980 said:
Well, if she can dish it she oughta' be able to take it so you can either go toe to toe, ignore her, or tell her to kiss your @$$ so she can leave you alone.

Other options:

A) Ask her where she got her wig from in the break room in front of everyone.
B) When she starts talking, immediately tell her "stop talking" very calmly and with a straight face.
C) Slide in behind her undetected and give a yank...just enough to noticeably shift it but not necessarily fall on the floor.
Click to expand...

I like A and C..oh yes!
 
Sometimes I will be just doing my work or whatever..and she will touch my hair. It's like serious violation. If my hair is so nasty..why would she want to touch it??
 
loveurself84 said:
Sometimes I will be just doing my work or whatever..and she will touch my hair. It's like serious violation. If my hair is so nasty..why would she want to touch it??
Click to expand...

Swat her like a cat and say it was a reflex...you thought she was a giant spider.
 
loveurself84 said:
There is this lady at my job who ALWAYS has something negative to say about my hair ever since I went natural. It is never ending. One time she put me on blast in front of a white coworker.:nono:. She is a black Haitian lady..and she has been wearing a wig for the past six years. I haven't seen her hair EVER. She swings it around like it's hers. A part of me wishes it would fall off so I can play hot potato with my co workers.Here is her latest input
LADY(i use that term very loosely): What are you going to do to you hair for the holidays
Me: I don't know
LADY: why don't you perm it so it can look pretty
Me: Because I don't want to..i think natural hair is pretty
LADY: NO permed hair is pretty..natural hair is not
Me: well I like natural hair..and so does my husband..he doesn't like fake women..we don't think it is very attractive
LADY::look:

Oh I almost forgot..she was natural..and still claims to be. I just found out..that she gave in and permed her hair because "she couldn't take it anymore". Perhaps she is pissed that I have lasted..and I actually have the nerve to wear it out..
Click to expand...

:lachen: too funny
 
Ugh...I hate people like that. Most times they look a hot mess and have the nerve to tell someone what looks nice. and she touches your hair? I'd be nasty nice. If permed hair is so pretty why is she all around so ugly? Didn't help her any.
 
loveurself84 said:
Sometimes I will be just doing my work or whatever..and she will touch my hair. It's like serious violation. If my hair is so nasty..why would she want to touch it??
Click to expand...

she must have the idea that it's okay to touch you. once you go a lil crazy on some folks they leave you the hell alone. just like they leave me alone.
 
I don't even engage people in these discussions. I simply say "Oh Okay" or smirk and keep it moving. At the end of the day, they are still going to be ignorant and I'm still going to be nappy.

The convo is alot shorter and you're alot less stressed. However, you run the risk of being called an Okie Doke Black person by a natural nazi :look:but the trade off is well worth it:yep:.
 
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kmn1980 said:
Well, if she can dish it she oughta' be able to take it so you can either go toe to toe, ignore her, or tell her to kiss your @$$ so she can leave you alone.

Other options:

A) Ask her where she got her wig from in the break room in front of everyone.
B) When she starts talking, immediately tell her "stop talking" very calmly and with a straight face.
C) Slide in behind her undetected and give a yank...just enough to noticeably shift it but not necessarily fall on the floor.
Click to expand...

All funny...but C will get you fired I'm sure as you shouldn't physically touch another in a work space. Funny though!

I'd ad

D) Tell her you don't want to have to perm your hair, have it fall out, then have to wear a wig (blink).

---not that everyone's will....but hey she seems to be hiding something

or simply

E) I don't want to discuss my hair with you ever...we're at work. Get it together.
 
kmn1980 said:
Well, if she can dish it she oughta' be able to take it so you can either go toe to toe, ignore her, or tell her to kiss your @$$ so she can leave you alone.

Other options:

A) Ask her where she got her wig from in the break room in front of everyone.
B) When she starts talking, immediately tell her "stop talking" very calmly and with a straight face.
C) Slide in behind her undetected and give a yank...just enough to noticeably shift it but not necessarily fall on the floor.
Click to expand...

:evillaugh:
 
It would really irritate me if she were my co-worker, had the nerve to insinuate that my hair is ugly, then touched it without my permission. She'd pull back a nub in the name of self-defense.
 
loveurself84 said:
There is this lady at my job who ALWAYS has something negative to say about my hair ever since I went natural. It is never ending. One time she put me on blast in front of a white coworker.:nono:. She is a black Haitian lady..and she has been wearing a wig for the past six years. I haven't seen her hair EVER. She swings it around like it's hers. A part of me wishes it would fall off so I can play hot potato with my co workers.Here is her latest input
LADY(i use that term very loosely): What are you going to do to you hair for the holidays
Me: I don't know
LADY: why don't you perm it so it can look pretty
Me: Because I don't want to..i think natural hair is pretty
LADY: NO permed hair is pretty..natural hair is not
Me: well I like natural hair..and so does my husband..he doesn't like fake women..we don't think it is very attractive
LADY::look:

Oh I almost forgot..she was natural..and still claims to be. I just found out..that she gave in and permed her hair because "she couldn't take it anymore". Perhaps she is pissed that I have lasted..and I actually have the nerve to wear it out..
Click to expand...

Umm, a Nigerian guy was saying this to me yesterday too!

"Why don't you straighten your hair? You look like a totally different person when you straighten it. When's the next time you're going to straighten it? You should straighten your hair. You're pretty when you you straighten it."

WTF? I'm not interested in your opinion, which came out of the blue. You made yourself look dumb, and you made black community look dumb by talking that way in front of random Asians and Whites. And why does this guy have a small fro? SMH.

Don't sweat it girl! You've been given lots of tips. Just :yawn: whenever she comes around...
 
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I love the "ask her where her wig is from"!!!! :lachen: I would definitely pretend to be interested in wigs for the winter next time she asks me what I will do with my hair.
Just a side note regarding the Haitian community: I'm Haitian and I can tell you that she will not let go until you get rude with her or have a supervisor chat with her about it.
My FMIL used to ask me what I intend to do with my hair ALL THE TIME even though I would give her a thorough explanation as to why I refuse to perm my hair again. It got to the point where I told my fiance to talk to her before she starts saying I'm being rude to her... she stopped indeed, but she still hates it and calls my hair ropes because I have locs and compliments anybody who wears a wig or even a raggedy perm repeatedly in front of me. I stop her whenever she tries again by joking about the wigs that she even wears in the shower....just like your lady she likes to dish but can't take it.
All of that to say that you will have to embarrass her or make her listen to somebody from HR who will make her understand that this is the 21st century and that she's being discriminatory.

Sent from my HTC Evo using Long Hair Care Forum App
 
That just pisses me off. OP, I think you called it correctly. She's jealous that you are not only looking good with your natural hair, but that you have the confidence to rock it--both things she probably didn't feel she had. She's projecting all types of insecurities on to you. Her preoccupation with your hair screams this. If your hair is longer than hers (I'm sure it is), she's probably even more hurt.

Your choice is to understand that she's got deeper issues she needs to resolve within herself and kindly ask her to keep her comments to herself and just not mention your hair ever again, or to embarrass the hell outta her in one of the creative ways already listed. Since she's a grown arse woman, I'd probably opt for the latter. She probably does things like that to people she's jealous of all the time because no one steps up to her and gives her some of her own medicine.

If she has something else to say, let her know how ugly and obvious her wig is. Then again, you could just cut the stress down altogether and don't associate with her again and let her know to stay away or else.
 
empressri said:
she must have the idea that it's okay to touch you. once you go a lil crazy on some folks they leave you the hell alone. just like they leave me alone.
Click to expand...

Girl I luv u...Always on point and so funny..

OP--what I dont get is why does she care what u do what UR hair..she got ways too much time on her hair to worry about someone else..When she asks u what ur doin with ur hair, u should have asked her what she was doing with her face..cause hair can be fixed but UGLY is forever..
 
This lady obviously don't have a clue about what to do with her own hair. You should show her how versatile your natural hair is by going in with different styles example: one week wear a flat press, the next week wear a twist set, the following week wear a pin up. You get the picture, you don't have to say a word just keep rockin new styles with your natural hair until she shut up
 
It's interesting that the people who have the most negative things to say about natural hair always seem to have a busted head of hair themselves.
 
Reading this....I don't think that she is intentionally trying to be mean; she's just misguided.

Judging from the facts that a) she has tried to go natural and failed, b) she wears wigs constantly, c) she insists on saying negative things but keeps touching your hair, and d) she may be influenced by cultural attitudes, I think that she is just envious of you wearing your natural hair.

Be patient with her.
 
loveurself84 said:
There is this lady at my job who ALWAYS has something negative to say about my hair ever since I went natural. It is never ending. One time she put me on blast in front of a white coworker.:nono:. She is a black Haitian lady..and she has been wearing a wig for the past six years. I haven't seen her hair EVER. She swings it around like it's hers. A part of me wishes it would fall off so I can play hot potato with my co workers.Here is her latest input
LADY(i use that term very loosely): What are you going to do to you hair for the holidays
Me: I don't know
LADY: why don't you perm it so it can look pretty
Me: Because I don't want to..i think natural hair is pretty
LADY: NO permed hair is pretty..natural hair is not
Me: well I like natural hair..and so does my husband..he doesn't like fake women..we don't think it is very attractive
LADY::look:

Oh I almost forgot..she was natural..and still claims to be. I just found out..that she gave in and permed her hair because "she couldn't take it anymore". Perhaps she is pissed that I have lasted..and I actually have the nerve to wear it out..
Click to expand...

LMAO!! :evilbanana:
 
I hope OP doesn't take this the wrong way but this argument sounds like the school yard and not something that grown women need to be doing in the work place. The Haitian lady's opinion is her opinion - maybe someday it will change (black women change positions about hair all the time) maybe not but it doesn't matter either way. I would say if someone tries to bring this up on the job ignore them and change the subject.
 
I like the Bolded- Do a 'Sheree' on her, or ask her straight out why she all up on your grits, and there's always the "when I want your opinion, I will give it to you" option.
kmn1980 said:
Well, if she can dish it she oughta' be able to take it so you can either go toe to toe, ignore her, or tell her to kiss your @$$ so she can leave you alone.

Other options:

A) Ask her where she got her wig from in the break room in front of everyone.B) When she starts talking, immediately tell her "stop talking" very calmly and with a straight face.
C) Slide in behind her undetected and give a yank...just enough to noticeably shift it but not necessarily fall on the floor.
Click to expand...
 
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