periods of non attraction

brg240

brg240

Well-Known Member
I was wondering ladies if you had periods when you are not attracted to anyone? If so how long? Is there a reason behind it.

I find people attractive but in an abstract kind of way. I think it's because I don't get to know more than handfuls of people. But anyway i realized i haven't really been attracted to someone in 8ish years and I don't think that's normal.
 
I am similar. I go through long periods of non attraction to anyone then BAM! I'm infatuated with someone unexpected. My last real attraction was 2007. I think its because I'm not meeting enough guys.

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Great topic. I was in a long period of non attraction and I would go out with people but it was annoying because I realized that dates really aren't fun if you're just going through the motions. I have recently become very, extremely attracted to someone and it startled me because I haven't felt that in awhile.
 
So this is what I'm experiencing?

There's a lot of great guys currently pursuing me and I'm not attracted to any of them. :ohwell: I was just asking one of my girlfriends if this feeling is suppose to happen sooner or later b/c I'm wondering do I just pick one and go with it and hope for the best? Or just keep waiting for the one that I'm into?

8yrs...that's too long I've been feeling this way for about 4months.
 
i'm going through this right now. i can't think of one person i'm attracted to. my periods don't last too long though.
 
*5+5 said:
So this is what I'm experiencing?

There's a lot of great guys currently pursuing me and I'm not attracted to any of them. :ohwell: I was just asking one of my girlfriends if this feeling is suppose to happen sooner or later b/c I'm wondering do I just pick one and go with it and hope for the best? Or just keep waiting for the one that I'm into?

8yrs...that's too long I've been feeling this way for about 4months.
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That's what I'm wondering too. On one hand, I don't want to settle on the attraction factor (ie. personality, chemistry, maybe looks help too somewhat, etc.), but at the same time, I don't want to be missing some great guys just because I'm not attracted to them.

ugh.... I feel like I'm between a rock and hard place! If I'm not really "excited" about someone, or at the very LEAST lukewarm about them, then you're right...it's not really FUN dating them, and I usually just end up putting the guy in the "friend" category...I'm sorry. :ohwell:

I want to feel that "feeling" that women feel when they're really INTO a guy, and the guy is into them and wanting to spend more time with them. I dont' want to be looking at my phone dreading when he calls/texts me, or looking around keeping my options open for the next guy that I'm REALLY into when I'm out with him. :look:

Can someone force themselves to like another individual?


I went through a brief period where I just wasn't interested/attracted to anyone in particular. Part of it was because I had just come out of a really BAD relationship experience, and I don't think my heart had completely healed yet. I didn't even want to entertain the thought of liking another guy who could potentially break my heart again. So, I think that sometimes you can lose attraction for the opposite sex briefly if deep down you know you're not ready yet for a serious relationship. But I think when you are *READY* all of a sudden a lot of guys will start to look really GOOD to you. :grin: You'll find that you feel more ready and open to date again. That's what happened to me. :yep:

And other times, you don't have any attraction to anyone simply because you haven't met that special someone that makes you FEEL that way! Maybe you should try getting out more and meeting new men.
 
Crystalicequeen123 said:
That's what I'm wondering too. On one hand, I don't want to settle on the attraction factor (ie. personality, chemistry, maybe looks help too somewhat, etc.), but at the same time, I don't want to be missing some great guys just because I'm not attracted to them.

ugh.... I feel like I'm between a rock and hard place! If I'm not really "excited" about someone, or at the very LEAST lukewarm about them, then you're right...it's not really FUN dating them, and I usually just end up putting the guy in the "friend" category...I'm sorry. :ohwell:

I want to feel that "feeling" that women feel when they're really INTO a guy, and the guy is into them and wanting to spend more time with them. I dont' want to be looking at my phone dreading when he calls/texts me, or looking around keeping my options open for the next guy that I'm REALLY into when I'm out with him. :look:

Can someone force themselves to like another individual?


I went through a brief period where I just wasn't interested/attracted to anyone in particular. Part of it was because I had just come out of a really BAD relationship experience, and I don't think my heart had completely healed yet. I didn't even want to entertain the thought of liking another guy who could potentially break my heart again. So, I think that sometimes you can lose attraction for the opposite sex briefly if deep down you know you're not ready yet for a serious relationship. But I think when you are *READY* all of a sudden a lot of guys will start to look really GOOD to you. :grin: You'll find that you feel more ready and open to date again. That's what happened to me. :yep:

And other times, you don't have any attraction to anyone simply because you haven't met that special someone that makes you FEEL that way! Maybe you should try getting out more and meeting new men.
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^^^Roster is full at the moment. I get out a lot but I have enough of guys to occupy my designated free time, I just need to meet that "one" guy that makes me feel like "WHOA, THIS IS IT"!

I agree it's no fun going on dates so I only hangout for big plans, this one guy I love the way he handles me, his gentlemen swag is on a 1000 :grin:

Dude is so chivalrous and all, we went to the Beach together for a day and I had a blast! He wanted to take me on a dinner day shortly after I was like hm, that's too romantic but didn't tell him that just kinda waddled out of it...he called me back later and asked if I wanted to go see Kevin Hart with him, I was like of course. So um, yea I can't do the intimate dates only the things were we can interact and be amongst people...strange I know.

But once I'm attracted to a guy, IT'S ON! I'M ALL THE WAY IN...then I'll be trying to supress my excitement. :drunk:
 
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*5+5 said:
^^^Roster is full at the moment. I get out a lot but I have enough of guys to occupy my designated free time, I just need to meet that "one" guy that makes me feel like "WHOA, THIS IS IT"!

I agree it's no fun going on dates so I only hangout for big plans, this one guy I love the way he handles me, his gentlemen swag is on a 1000 :grin:

Dude is so chivalrous and all, we went to the Beach together for a day and I had a blast! He wanted to take me on a dinner day shortly after I was like hm, that's too romantic but didn't tell him that just kinda waddled out of it...he called me back later and asked if I wanted to go see Kevin Hart with him, I was like of course. So um, yea I can't do the intimate dates only the things were we can interact and be amongst people...strange I know.

But once I'm attracted to a guy, IT'S ON! I'M ALL THE WAY END...then I'll be trying to supress my excitement. :drunk:
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YESS!!! That's what I want! :yep: So far I have YET to find something "mutual". :look:

I know I will find it some day, but in the meantime, I don't want to settle. :nono:


Just out of curiosity, it sounds like you are actually at least lukewarm about this guy. Is there any reason in particular that you don't find yourself that attracted to him? :look:
 
Crystalicequeen123 said:
YESS!!! That's what I want! :yep: So far I have YET to find something "mutual". :look:

I know I will find it some day, but in the meantime, I don't want to settle. :nono:


Just out of curiosity, it sounds like you are actually at least lukewarm about this guy. Is there any reason in particular that you don't find yourself that attracted to him? :look:
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Yea I've yet to find something mutual as well. There's this one guy at work that use to try and pursue me when I was in a relationship and I would shut him down/show him no love. Now that I'm single it’s pretty basic, we still converse but no flirting really...I've been wondering what to do to get him to pursue me again. :lol:

The guy that I went to the beach with I know from high school and he has a reputation of dating Becky's...recently divorced Becky. Physically he's alright, when we were at this restaurant at the Beach the waiter asked him if we were a couple and he said "i wish".

I think this lukewarm attraction could be a lot stronger but he would have to put up a Gorilla-style chase for me to be with it, considering I'm not sure how I feel about the preference for Becky...he claims that's not the case tho...we'll see.
 
ive been through those periods..They last a couple of months or so... which is great for me because then i can really focus on my plans, my self and my life.... I'm not checking for anyone, and no one (interesting) is checking for me. Makes things very simple.

Then BAM! i see someone i like, and it's on!
 
Check this out, ladies...

http://www.stillettochick.com/gender-physics-article.html

Summary:

"For all the good that these energies may provide, though, they do more harm than good if taken alone. Excessive masculine energy without the counterbalance of feminine energy leads to mindless, risky action. We'll eat too much, spend too much, or work too much, without the introspective feminine impulse to ask why. Masculine energy also seeks to dominate the outside world; in the absence of the value system provided by feminine energy, this impulse can quickly lead to conflict and war.

An excess of feminine energy can result in co-dependency, as we become devoted to others at the expense of ourselves and follow their opinions without developing our own. This leaves us depleted and unable to make good decisions for ourselves regarding various aspects of our lives. Fear also comes with too much feminine energy, as our focus on cooperation leads us to believe that we need someone else to take care of us. Masculine energy also compliments feminine energy by providing that spark of action and decisiveness; without it, nothing gets done. I've often seen this in charitable organizations that are afraid to make any decisions for fear of offending donors and volunteers. "
 
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I am SOOOOO going through the same thing. It all depends on why this happens. In my case, I had a GREAT guy who raised the bar REALLY high to dump me back in 2009 and since I have just been going through the motions.

I have been trying to date (an relax my standards, NO ONE can measure up to him), but I haven't felt attraction to a man (or ACTED on it... if you get my drift), since December 2009.

The thing is, I am getting older and my biological clock is starting to tick. I know I need to start trying to leverage something into a relationship / marriage / sperm donor, but at this point it's just not happening.

There's nothing wrong with "doing you" in the meantime.
 
I'm going through a period of non attraction right now. It's happened before but this time it's different since I actually know what I'm like and am more likely to recognize attraction when I feel it. So I've gone from being indifferent to attraction to being drawn to it like white on rice.:drunk: My problem now is I'm rarely attracted to anyone :perplexed so when it happens I pounce lol!
 
*5+5 said:
I just need to meet that "one" guy that makes me feel like "WHOA, THIS IS IT"!

But once I'm attracted to a guy, IT'S ON! I'M ALL THE WAY IN...then I'll be trying to supress my excitement. :drunk:
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*5+5 I agree with your post. I recently realized that I'm not the "dating" type. I don't want or have a desire to date a number of guys. I just want the "one" because, like you, when I'm attracted to a guy, I tend to give my all. I rather give my all to the RIGHT guy for me.

Opster, I been on a five year drought of being attracted to a guy. I know exactly what I'm attracted to, but I haven't seen it yet.
 
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