Online Daters-What Turns You Off From A Profile?

[MizAvalon]

I have been doing the online dating thing for quite some time now. I date for a while, then I take little breaks. Just wondering, for online dating specifically, what turns you off when you look at a man's profile?

For me, there are several things.

1. Poor picture quality. It is unreal that in this day and age how common this is. I see so many blurry, "taken in the bathroom mirror" or grainy webcam pics. Seriously, how hard is it to put your digital camera in front of your face and press the button? That's what I do and my pictures are crystal clear.

I also don't care for far away pictures, group pictures where I can't tell who he is or pictures where he is wearing a hat or sunglasses. I want to see a CLEAR, CLOSEUP view of your face.

2. A negative profile. "No Drama or Games", "Only Real Women Need Apply", "Not Looking For A Goldigger". None of that makes me even remotely interested in learning more about you. It just makes you sound like a negative person that enjoys complaining.

3. Sexual references. If you have some sort of sexual username(LuvsBigBootys, LickUAllNite) or you talk about your lovemaking habits in your profile, that is an automatic deletion.

That's all I can think of offhand. How about you? What turns you off from a profile?

 

[caltron]

I always hated when dudes would try too hard to show off their bodies. I hate those weightlifting shots where the guys are flexing their muscles.

I also hated those shots where the dude is showing off a Mercedes (that may or may not be his). It's like they are automatically assuming that all women are shallow to be attracted by that.

Poor grammar is also a turn off. I'm not saying it has to be completely typo free, but at least make it seem like you put forth some sort of effort and have at least a G.E.D.

 

[Bunny77]

Piggybacking off #2...

Men who write, I'm just seeing what's out here/I can't believe I'm doing this/I just got divorced and trying to get back into the dating game.

Or, "Are there any good girls left?" and "Tired of the Bar Scene."

Why is your butt 36 years old and you're just now "tired of the bar scene?" Man, please.


Yeah, I really want to talk to you now... NEXT!

 

[simplertimes]

When they have pictures of them with other women in it. I don't care if it's their best friend. It's a turnoff!

 

[Ozma]

ITA with the above points, especially no-shirt pictures, EWWW!

Also, men who are like, I need a wife and mother for my children now. WTF? I guess because I'm in my 30s I get lots of older divorced dudes, but, um I'ma need you to slow it down bruh!

 

[SUPER SWEET]

Pictures with a person cut out and it's clearly a past relationship.The worse I've seen was a man's wedding photos!
A man that talks about his ex's in the profile
A grown man throwing up gang or mason signs erplexed
A man that states he's been on the site for years with no luck...
Any pictures where he is in the tub or bed

 

[MizAvalon]

^^^ His wedding photos?!

 

[kayte]

WEBCAM COMMUNICATIONS

:Run:​

what a surprise I once got..& I dont even have a webcam


and ..the elderly paunchy balding unnattractive...
not chic bald or shaved bald
has a skinny long greasy tail of hair and the rest
three plastered strands...across the dome forehead

who advertises

has ALL his teeth..
or has ....all his OWN teeth

and is GENEROUS

 

[Determined22]

*Poor spelling & punctuation. Don't send me a message that is one long run-on sentence. The Enter key and punctuation is your friend, and Firefox will spell-check for you.

*Misleading photos. I met a guy who had an attractive photo up, but when I met him I didn't even recognize him, because he was a good 50 pounds heavier than he was in the pic. I told him it was false advertising.

*Those half-naked pics. To me it comes off too desperate and "look at me".

*Saying they won't date a woman with kids but they have kids themselves.

*Tons of pictures of material things like fancy cars and homes but none or few of themselves

*Too many pics. Is this a dating site or your photo-sharing service?

*Personal messages that are way too long. A couple paragraphs is fine, but if its too long I get bored and move on to the next guy.

 

[Ivonnovi]

ITA with all the bolded!!!! MEGA DITTOS !!!

Also "Winks/Flirts/Messages sent by admirers that do not have a freak'n photo themselves!

And: Photos of themselves with their children or of themselves in a childlike enviornment such as Chuckee Cheese.

*Poor spelling & punctuation. Don't send me a message that is one long run-on sentence. The Enter key and punctuation is your friend, and Firefox will spell-check for you.

*Misleading photos. I met a guy who had an attractive photo up, but when I met him I didn't even recognize him, because he was a good 50 pounds heavier than he was in the pic. I told him it was false advertising.

*Those half-naked pics. To me it comes off too desperate and "look at me".

*Saying they won't date a woman with kids but they have kids themselves.

*Tons of pictures of material things like fancy cars and homes but none or few of themselves

*Too many pics. Is this a dating site or your photo-sharing service?

*Personal messages that are way too long. A couple paragraphs is fine, but if its too long I get bored and move on to the next guy.

 

[pisceschica]

I will NEVER EVER understand why some men put up pictures of themselves with other women. Example I was browsing through a dating sit yesterday and clicked a profile. Did you know that in one of his many pictures there was a picture of him lying next to another woman on a beach towel on the beach. They were kind of hugged up.

Poor grammar and slang. This is not an essay to a graduate school or something but still please present yourself well and that includes your writing.

Showing off. Showing off their body, homes, cars etc. ..and on top of that say they do not want superficial materialistic women who are going to use them.

Everyone's idea of what is average slim a little extra is different. But I for the life of me cannot understand how someone who has flab and rolls is considered average and in some dumbfounding cases athletic.

When there is not enough information about them or what they are looking for. They may have filled out A/S/L ethnicity, etc. but in the two areas where they talk about themselves or what they are looking for there is little to nothing.

People who complain about past relationships in their profile. I am not a therapist just tell me what you have to offer and what you are looking for. Take up those issues with a licensed professional.

One of my greatest pet peeves is when you are EXPLICITLY defined what you are looking for especially when it comes to race/ethnicity. I said single black male not anything else. I KNOW what I want don't think your body shot is going to help. I am looking for someone with at least a bachelors if you do not meet that requirement please move on.

 

[ThickHair]

Those long arse post that start off, that they are a simple guy or they like the simple things in life.

When I actually have to scroll even a little to read, your post it is too long.

Old pictures (when I see a Michael Jordan Chicago Bulls poster in the background, that picture is old)

Men with a lot of dogs.

 

[KEIONI'S MOM]

LOL you Ladies have me dying over here. ITA agree with EVERYTHING that was said but I would like too add:

All of your pictures are from the neck up not one single body shot

The wanna-be philosophy majors who want to analyze/catagorize all women negatively

Pictures in a dirty/messy house

Exaggerated job titles/incomes

 

[brownelovely]

I have been doing the online dating thing for quite some time now. I date for a while, then I take little breaks. Just wondering, for online dating specifically, what turns you off when you look at a man's profile?

For me, there are several things.

1. Poor picture quality. It is unreal that in this day and age how common this is. I see so many blurry, "taken in the bathroom mirror" or grainy webcam pics. Seriously, how hard is it to put your digital camera in front of your face and press the button? That's what I do and my pictures are crystal clear.

I also don't care for far away pictures, group pictures where I can't tell who he is or pictures where he is wearing a hat or sunglasses. I want to see a CLEAR, CLOSEUP view of your face.

2. A negative profile. "No Drama or Games", "Only Real Women Need Apply", "Not Looking For A Goldigger". None of that makes me even remotely interested in learning more about you. It just makes you sound like a negative person that enjoys complaining.

3. Sexual references. If you have some sort of sexual username(LuvsBigBootys, LickUAllNite) or you talk about your lovemaking habits in your profile, that is an automatic deletion.

That's all I can think of offhand. How about you? What turns you off from a profile?

This made me immediately when I saw it. SMH, some men are so clueless.

 

[brownelovely]

I don't do the dating anymore but when I did some years ago these were some pet peeves:

-guys leaving their phone numbers for anyone to call them

-w/above^^ along with that since they don't feel like filling out the "About Me" section they say call them if you want to know anything about them

-guys that send messages and ask you personal questions like is your booty bigger than _________, or ??? to that extent

-guys that pretend like they are affiliated with a celebrity

Ex: there was a guy that said he did PR for T.I.'s Grand Hustle yet when I asked him why he was on a dating site I never got a response back

-Older guys looking for young meat to raise their teenagers erplexed

 

[Determined22]

I don't do the dating anymore but when I did some years ago these were some pet peeves:

-guys leaving their phone numbers for anyone to call them

-w/above^^ along with that since they don't feel like filling out the "About Me" section they say call them if you want to know anything about them

-guys that send messages and ask you personal questions like is your booty bigger than _________, or ??? to that extent

-guys that pretend like they are affiliated with a celebrity

Ex: there was a guy that said he did PR for T.I.'s Grand Hustle yet when I asked him why he was on a dating site I never got a response back

-Older guys looking for young meat to raise their teenagers erplexed

I HATE THAT! (the bolded).

When I had a myspace page, I would get so many msgs from dudes asking me to call them?

Who gives their # out all crazy like that?

I said I was gonna start a blog and post all the numbers I got but I never did it

 

[calmsensual1]

One thing that turns me off is if they have "friends" or "hangout" as what they're looking for.

I'm not trying to be anyone's friend right now. I understand that friendship is the foundation. But most of these men who want to start off as friends or hanging out don't want anything more than that.

Hell, Im tryna find someone to mate with. I dont have time to be friends with someone forever.

 

[Bunny77]

Hell, Im tryna find someone to mate with. I dont have time to be friends with someone forever.

Just quoting this for emphasis.

 

[SUPER SWEET]

When he writes starting a business= I will be asking to borrow money

When a man has a photo with a bunch of people and you can't find him or have to look hard!

Today I was browsing and got a message from a man. I asked him why doesn't he have a current picture? He said because I should imagine him back in day, he was good-looking.Im just glad the site has block!

 

[MizAvalon]

When he writes starting a business= I will be asking to borrow money

When a man has a photo with a bunch of people and you can't find him or have to look hard!

Today I was browsing and got a message from a man. I asked him why doesn't he have a current picture? He said because I should imagine him back in day, he was good-looking.Im just glad the site has block!

OMG!!

Gotta love internet dating. You can weed out the losers practically immediately!

 

[BroadstreetBully]

Everyone's idea of what is average slim a little extra is different. But I for the life of me cannot understand how someone who has flab and rolls is considered average and in some dumbfounding cases athletic.

That's the unwritten rule of online dating! Athletic apparently equals more than a few extra pounds OR, out of shape but just hit the gym today.


Here are mine:
1. Guys who mention something about sex in their profile. I would see so many like 'I'm a very sexual being, and sex is VERY important in a relationship' or something like that. I mean, can't you talk about that on the phone/date or something? Why include that in the profile unless you have already stated that you're looking for a casual encounter and not a relationship?

2. Guys who put extra emphasis on looking for an INDEPENDENT woman. I know nowadays women have to have it going on in more ways than one, but some guys feel the need to focus on this too much in their profile. They'll have something like 'I want a woman who has her own and can take care of herself. She needs to have her own house and car. I am NOT here to pay your bills.' That's such a turn off. Makes you wonder what type of women they've been fooling with.

3. Fruity looking photos.

 

[cutenss]

When they want the opposite of what I want. If I say: I don't want kids, why does your profile say that you do? Its things like that, that make me think that you are 1) trying to change me or 2) you CAN"T READ!!!

 

[soulie]

Men who check ALL (or every single checkbox) on the "what type of woman are you seeking" box. They look too desperate. Come on, I know you aren't looking for a 4'2" 300+ pound, 70 year old who is a frequent-drinking devil worshipper!

 

[Bunny77]

When they want the opposite of what I want. If I say: I don't want kids, why does your profile say that you do? Its things like that, that make me think that you are 1) trying to change me or 2) you CAN"T READ!!!

I am convinced that 99.999999% of the men DON'T read the profile.

They see the picture and contact you. So that bugs me even more because I know that A. They didn't bother to see what I had to say, and/or B. They didn't care and thought they'd just "give it a try" anyway.

Which just reeks of narcissism.

 

[Bunny77]

2. Guys who put extra emphasis on looking for an INDEPENDENT woman. I know nowadays women have to have it going on in more ways than one, but some guys feel the need to focus on this too much in their profile. They'll have something like 'I want a woman who has her own and can take care of herself. She needs to have her own house and car. I am NOT here to pay your bills.' That's such a turn off. Makes you wonder what type of women they've been fooling with.

I had never seen this one until my recent go-round on line.

Basically, dude said that his ex-wife cleaned him out, so the new chick would need to be self-sufficient and pay her way.

His quote: "The Bank of Matt is closed!"

Like you said, it's fine to want a self-sufficient woman who can take care of herself, BUT to say from jump that you aren't gonna do **** in a financial sense means that you're either one of these punk-butt new age men that want a woman to take care of them OR you had bad judgment in picking women in the past who did this to you.

 

[MizAvalon]

OMG-I just received a message from someone and one of things in his profile says: "I bathe daily."


perplexederplexed

 

[Carrie A]

I am convinced that 99.999999% of the men DON'T read the profile.

They see the picture and contact you. So that bugs me even more because I know that A. They didn't bother to see what I had to say, and/or B. They didn't care and thought they'd just "give it a try" anyway.

Which just reeks of narcissism.

Right they don't read jack. Am I starting to sound irritated.
Also when they state an age which is clearly below the true age. Like I can't see that your a## is old.

All of these are really good.

 

[Ms Red]

Overemphasis on average things they think are exceptional:

Job, Benefits, Church-going, Attractive/In Shape, Financially Independent, Gentleman, hygeine, college-educated, and emotionally stable.

AVERAGE!