Old School Hello vs New School Hello

[tlbaby23]

Im only 22, single female, and back in February i went through a tough break up n im now getting back into the dating game n i feel like its different than what im use to. Im not looking for a relationship or a smash buddy, just a boo thang haha
Today at work i saw a HOT guy, tall, handsome, athletic build n we were both standing there waiting for something n made eye contact a couple of times. I can tell he wanted to say something but never did n I was thinking well maybe I should say something to him first but I chickened out n never said anything to him. As I was walking away I was like dammit I should go back n say something so about 10 mins later when I built my courage I went back to where he was but he was already gone I was upset cuz he was gorgeous !
But in my mind I feel like the guy should come up to the girl n if he doesn’t come up to you then maybes hes not interested but after talking to a lot of my male friends they say they usually wait till the girl comes up to them because it’s a turn on. Im just not use to that because im old school so i like the guy to come up to me
My questions:
1. Whats your opinion on it all?
2. How do you build up the courage to say something first without it being awkward
3. WHAT DO YOU SAY!? (as simple as it seems Its harder when ur actually there)

 

[Baggettcindy]

just say "hi...how is your day so far?"

 

[awhyley]

^^^ That's sweet, I'm going to use that. Thanks!

 

[stephluv]

I just smile and strike up a convo...i think i'm funny so i might add a little humor into it... but you gotta remember (I have 5brothers) that men put their pride on the line everyday and get rejected alot so anytime a female makes themselves more approachable just by being a lil more friendly It can be a big turn on

 

[tlbaby23]

I just smile and strike up a convo...i think i'm funny so i might add a little humor into it... but you gotta remember (I have 5brothers) that men put their pride on the line everyday and get rejected alot so anytime a female makes themselves more approachable just by being a lil more friendly It can be a big turn on

Yeah ur right I keep hearing that men love to be approach first but I'm just not use to the plus i have pride too! Lol

 

[tlbaby23]

just say "hi...how is your day so far?"

As simple as that is I didn't even think of that! Lol I gotta work on my intros lol

 

[Hairsnob]

I'm old fashioned and believe a man should approach the woman. However, I HAVE heard men say it's a turn on when women approach them. But I've heard some say it can come off as too forceful also because they like the chase.

So what I believe is best is to let a man know you're interested without having to make the first move. Just make sure you cross paths and speak and say hello or something and flirt if you can.

A good hello and a smile should be enough for any man to come talk to you if he's interested.

 

[hopeful]

I think you did the right thing. A smile and a hello is enough. A lot of ladies here say the men that don't approach are often taken. Also, if you approach first, it may be a turn on in the beginning but in the long run you might find yourself always initiating dates, getting together, etc. I wouldn't want the type of guy that's too shy or lazy and waits for the lady to approach, that's not very attractive to me.

 

[tlbaby23]

I think you did the right thing. A smile and a hello is enough. A lot of ladies here say the men that don't approach are often taken. Also, if you approach first, it may be a turn on in the beginning but in the long run you might find yourself always initiating dates, getting together, etc. I wouldn't want the type of guy that's too shy or lazy and waits for the lady to approach, that's not very attractive to me.

Wow that's a very good point. I took it as maybe he wasn't interested but he kept looking at me so he probably was taken =/ n yeah I hate when a guy expects me to do everything all the time

 

[kismettt]

smile, say hi, ask him how his day is/what dept he works in/just casual small talk and see where it goes from there.

i'm learning a lot of women don't LIKE to be approached randomly by men ("why can't i just be in public alone without having to deal with unwanted male attention" is something i've heard a few times lately.). so i think it's good for men to NOT approach every woman they like/see without invitation (body language or some other indicator).

if i see someone i could be interested in getting to know better, depending on the vibe, i may say hi. i am very good at reading people in general, so i try not to approach people who clearly don't want to deal with the public that day.

i don't really worry about whether a man sees it as a "turn on" or not. i do what works for me/what makes me comfortable. & all men are different, some men are into it, some aren't.

ETA: like all things in life, don't get thirsty. you ever meet someone who is blowing up your phone & you are Not Interested? (and i'm not even talking about in a romantic sense. i've had people try to be my friend that i'm just like, "...but i don't like you" ). so i'm all about balance period. i may show interest, then it's up to you.

& in general, i'm about meeting new people/learning about them (even if they are cute/i'd like to date them), so i think of it as getting to know someone vs "oo i wonder if he's into me. if i do XYZ will he like it or think i'm blahblahblah".

 

[FelaShrine]

I think you did the right thing. A smile and a hello is enough. A lot of ladies here say the men that don't approach are often taken. Also, if you approach first, it may be a turn on in the beginning but in the long run you might find yourself always initiating dates, getting together, etc. I wouldn't want the type of guy that's too shy or lazy and waits for the lady to approach, that's not very attractive to me.

Exactly. same ones will have no problem telling others how you went after him. No thank you

 

[yardyspice]

Men are hunters. Smile and let them do the hunting. You did the right thing and hopeful is right.