Not sure what to do with my natural hair! Retaining and Growth issues

L

Lute

Well-Known Member
Hi Ladies,

I seek your hair wisdom again. After seeing several fotkis of ladies who cut their hair around 2007. I realized I am doing something wrong with my hair.

I would say my hair type is more like a 4a/b natural. Unfortunately, I dont have a current picture of my hair because my hair is in cornrows. But I do know I need to trim my hair. Cause I see a lot of splits.

I set an appointment with a beautician at Salon Bohemia in Brooklyn NY. But I'm not sure if I should go to her, I havent had anyone cut my hair in years. So I'm confused on how to go about this.

They're charging 45 bucks for the hair trim. But I'm not sure what this entails (I should've asked huh?)

Also, everytime I go to get my hair braided, they always attack me with that blow dry attachment because they cant comb through my hair :( . The most recent visit, I know they gave me a hair cut with that small tooth comb and blow dry attachment pick.

I feel sad when I think about it.

I just want to be able to retain hair. But I seem to be making poor choices. :(
 
Have you tried being a DIY natural? you could avoid the blowdryer and you can give your hair the TLC it needs. Stylists often produce "cosmetic" hair. If your hair needs nuturing you may want to do that yourself.

and have you considered the S&D method for knocking out the splits? It is time consuming but worth it. A trim may be a good base and will tidy up your ends but if you do have a lot of splits you may want to nip those in the bud.

Also: 45 is way to much for a trim supercuts will get the job done for 15 to 20 bucks.

but do get a trim whether you do it, or it is done professionally

getting rid of all my spilt ends and mid strand splits really helped with my retention.
 
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I'm with PPG on this. I've found that nobody can treat my hair as gently as I can and that's the #1 key to retaining my soft, fragile hair

Definitely try doing your hair on your own. There's tons of great information here and YouTube to guide you all the way. Do you see little broken hairs when you attempt to style your hair?
 
hair tools, heat and not enough moisture can be the first cause of split ends that comes into my mind. I would trim my own hair and then I would baby it, seeing if there is something in my regimen I can change...
 
OP,

I understand your dilemma. I don't feel comfortable self cutting at all (and yes I watched all of the YT videos and read all the threads about it).

My only recommendation is to suggest that if you aren't FULLY happy with your previous stylist, try to find another. I was fortunate that I found a willing and capable stylist at an Aveda salon in Northern NJ. But before I settled on her, I considered going to a few places like Khamet Kinks in Brooklyn and a few other salons in Manhattan that specialize in natural hair.

With regards to the price, my personal feeling is that I am willing to pay a bit more for a stylist that will do exactly what I ask OR provide reasonable explanations of why it can't be done plus a path to move forward to help me reach my goal.

Since you realize that you need a TRIM and not a dusting, consider setting up a few consultations to hear what each stylist suggests is best to help you reach a goal of growing out your hair. Have them show you how much should be trimmed to get back to healthy hair (first goal) then how to style it to get it back on the path to growing out (second goal).

HHJ
 
Try prepping your own hair prior to getting braids...ellimate as much as possible their need to do anything but part n braid your hair. Have it in pre-stretched and detangled sections.
 
Lute said:
Hi Ladies,

I seek your hair wisdom again. After seeing several fotkis of ladies who cut their hair around 2007. I realized I am doing something wrong with my hair.

I would say my hair type is more like a 4a/b natural. Unfortunately, I dont have a current picture of my hair because my hair is in cornrows. But I do know I need to trim my hair. Cause I see a lot of splits.

I set an appointment with a beautician at Salon Bohemia in Brooklyn NY. But I'm not sure if I should go to her, I havent had anyone cut my hair in years. So I'm confused on how to go about this.

They're charging 45 bucks for the hair trim. But I'm not sure what this entails (I should've asked huh?)

Also, everytime I go to get my hair braided, they always attack me with that blow dry attachment because they cant comb through my hair :( . The most recent visit, I know they gave me a hair cut with that small tooth comb and blow dry attachment pick.

I feel sad when I think about it.

I just want to be able to retain hair. But I seem to be making poor choices. :(
Click to expand...

I know you are currently in cornrows but how do you normally care for your hair?

What is your regimen? What products do you use?

The ladies gave great advice. Do more research before you sit down in anyone's chair.

If you aren't wearing your hair in straightened styles, self trimming isn't that bad because you aren't trying to keep it even but get rid of the damage ends. You can always do a little at a time. But if you don't feel comfortable that's ok too.

As far as braids, you can do a lot to prepare your hair before you go. Shampoo, Condition and blow dry it or stretch it yourself. That way all they have to do is braid it.
 
When you take your hair out of the cornrows you need to cut your hair. If you don't the split ends will just cause more breakage. Also before I would get my hair braided I would always wash and blow dry my own hair and detangle it before I would go to the salon. Also I have learned to retain my length by not using direct heat expect when I blow dry my hair which is maybe every three months. I don't even flat iron my hair because it is too much work for me.
 
I agree with everyone. I like to braid my hair,too but even before my hair journey I never let the braiders blowdry my hair. They just keeping blowing it till its crispy fried straight.
 
So, this is going to be a long one.

PPGbubbles - I been doing DIY route since 2007, with the exception of when I get extensions done by the Hair Braiding shop thats close by me. But when I don't have extensions. I usually keep my hair in twists. But I noticed that the ends get tangled when I take them down.

But I defintely, plan to do a trim. But how often would you do a S&D.


alive - I totally agree on what you mean tat "no one can take care of your hair but"
I do recall when I tried to blow out my hair I did see broken hairs. :( I think I need to re-watch youtube videos.

ciccina - I havent touched heat in a while. I do know I have a very hard time holding moisture in my hair. If I used glycerine products. My hair has this filmy feeling which drives me nuts.

mzteaze - But you are right, I need to find a different hair braider. They always complain about not being able to comb through my hair. And they will attempt to blow it out with blow dry comb (yellow one). And to makes matters worse. I think the last time I got cornrows. She was detangling my ends with a small tooth comb :(

MyAngelEyez~C~U - Your right. I need to solidify my regime. Is hair suppose to be tangle free. Cause I always have tangles. But I feel that..I'm going to always have problems with the hair braiders. If my hair isn't straight.

More to come...
 
My answers are in bold

I know you are currently in cornrows but how do you normally care for your hair?

What is your regimen? What products do you use?

I dont really have a set regime. But I remembered what I did since January

Since December 18th - March 18th.

Before, I got my hair braided. I used Giovanni
My hair was twist extensions. Almost bi-weekly. I would wash my hair and condition. and oil my scalp with bee mine mango serum. I would usually spray my hair with the braid moisture spray. When I took my hair down. I think my ends got screwed because it was intertwined with the hair.

From March 18th - till the end of March. I got my hair done in a cornrow mohawk style. I went to Georgia's. Did a deep treatment. and style *sighs* It was nice. They were gentle. But I did see some little hairs on the floor when she was combing it "through. But when I asked about trims. They said "cut" and mentioned a price in the 100's . When I was in that hairstyle. I just sprayed it with Oyin Juice and Berries.

And in the month of April. I went-back to the hair-braider. Thats when she attacked me with the yellow blow out pick. I saw peices of my hair. I think it was a chunk I saw :( . And she braided my cornrows tight because I said I plan to keep it in for a month. *sigh*

The products I use.

Wash: I used to Giovanni: Smooth as Silk Shampoo
Conditioner : Aurbey Organics - Honey Suckle, While Camilla, Oyin Honey Hemp Conditioner

Leave in - :( I struggle with this. I think my hair likes glycerine, but it leaves an odd filmy feeling. So I dont use it. I think the last thing I used was the whipped pudding. Or the beautiful Curls cream and I think I put castor oil on it. (I think I put a dime size). My hair didnt feel moisturized.

:( I don't think my hair ever gets moisturized. And I even use porosity control and even constructors. :(

When my hair isn't in braids. I do my own twists. But when its time to take then down. My ends get tangled. I actually have to pull it apart. :(

The ladies gave great advice. Do more research before you sit down in anyone's chair.

I definitely, plan to. I was actually planning to keep my hair in crochet braids for a while. After I do the trim.

If you aren't wearing your hair in straightened styles, self trimming isn't that bad because you aren't trying to keep it even but get rid of the damage ends. You can always do a little at a time. But if you don't feel comfortable that's ok too.

As far as braids, you can do a lot to prepare your hair before you go. Shampoo, Condition and blow dry it or stretch it yourself. That way all they have to do is braid it.


The last time I tried to stretch my hair. I did the African Braiding, Which worked. But my hair didnt feel moisturized.
After you stretch your hair, is it good to blow it out.

I was thinking about doing it, but my hair gets so dry after blowing out. I can never seem to hold moisture in my hair
 
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I don't have much to add, as the ladies have all given you great advice. I just wanted to say that I also have issues with removing twists because of tangling. I've found that if I add a little cheapie conditioner to the ends prior to removing them, I don't get the tangles nearly so often. If necessary, I'll comb through just the ends after I put the conditioner on prior to removing. It helps tremendously :yep:.
 
Since your hair likes Giovanni, this could be an idea that works for me everytime
- wash your hair (I use Giovanni 50:50)
- deep condition with one of your AO conditioners, maybe a little olive oil added
- then try Giovanni 50:50 conditioner as a leave in and seal the whole length with a little sunflower oil.

This is a humectant free regimen so it works in any weather (i.e. castor makes my hair dry), the olive oil penetrates and adds moisture, the sunflower has ceramides and helps with moisture retention and knots/ ends and the Giovanni 50:50 is a great thick leave in that works in any weather. I like the 50:50 shampoo because it clarifies without drying out my hair. Glycerin leaves a film on my hair too, I have hard water so I need something chelating/ clarifying if I use it.

Avocado butter is very moisturizing as well, totally different than shea, good for sealing and deep conditioning.
Oil rinsing is another thing that works for me.
 
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Lute said:
My answers are in bold

I dont really have a set regime. But I remembered what I did since January

Leave in - :( I struggle with this. I think my hair likes glycerine, but it leaves an odd filmy feeling. So I dont use it. I think the last thing I used was the whipped pudding. Or the beautiful Curls cream and I think I put castor oil on it. (I think I put a dime size). My hair didnt feel moisturized.

:( I don't think my hair ever gets moisturized. And I even use porosity control and even constructors. :(

When my hair isn't in braids. I do my own twists. But when its time to take then down. My ends get tangled. I actually have to pull it apart. :(

The ladies gave great advice. Do more research before you sit down in anyone's chair.

I definitely, plan to. I was actually planning to keep my hair in crochet braids for a while. After I do the trim.

The last time I tried to stretch my hair. I did the African Braiding, Which worked. But my hair didnt feel moisturized.
After you stretch your hair, is it good to blow it out.

I was thinking about doing it, but my hair gets so dry after blowing out. I can never seem to hold moisture in my hair
Click to expand...

It sounds like you are having a similar experience to mine last year. I wore my hair in extensions so much I didn't know my hair. I wore cornrows and kinky twists for almost 9 months. My hair grew but when I went to do something to it, it was dry and the ends were rough. So I set out on a journey to learn my hair and I am preventing myself from putting my hair into extensions until I have a regimen in place.

That said... Even if you decide to continue with the braids, take some time in between and start to learn what your hair likes, so when it does get to the length you want you can enjoy it.

If you have a lot of SSKs and raggedy ends, your twists will tangle up at the bottom. Even if you get your moisture and seal down, the mangled ends will keep strangling each other. So get those cut off.

Make sure you are keeping your hair moisturized in the braids especially your ends.

Keeping the hair moisturized is a learning experience. This will come with you spending more time with your hair. If you can learn how to keep it moisturized on your shampoo/cowash day that is half the battle. People can give you suggestions but you will have to start somewhere and try a few things.

--Some hair likes to be sealed soaking wet; some on damp
--Some hair likes a water based product followed by an oil based product
--etc.

ex. If my hair is extremely wet adding any product is a waste of time because it slides off with the excess water. Applying product to damp hair works best for me. Water based products on wet hair is a waste for me. After many products, my hair simply likes damp hair sealed with sunflower oil and then I can put whatever I want on that.

As far as blowing out the hair, I don't know. I've never blown my hair out since natural. I don't actually own a blow dryer or a flat iron. :ohwell:

Short List
1. Trim your ends
2. Learn your hair (regimen)
3. Keep your braids moisturized
4. Say no to crazy stylists
 
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Lute I S&D fairly often.

I keep a pair of scissors with me each time I detangle and snip off any splits I see. Usually I only see like 5 or so.

but I notice that I see a lot more splits if I blow dry or flat iron. which ulitmately led to my decision to cut back on heat styles.
 
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