No. But I Have A Friend.

[londontresses]

How do you set a guy up with someone else after they've shown an interest in you?

I don't fancy him, not my type and partly because he dated my friend in high school. But I think him and my other friend would make a cute couple.

How do I initiate this without offending either? Should I even bother?

Have you done it successfully or have a story?

Share

 

[PeaceFlow]

I wouldn't do it and just let him know I'm not interested.

There's a good chance your friend will end up in your shadow if he's really enamoured with you. I'm sure it can work sometimes but usually this situation makes me cringe because the guy doesn't stop holding a candle for the original friend and its sometimes obvious.

 

[londontresses]

I wouldn't do it and just let him know I'm not interested.

There's a good chance your friend will end up in your shadow if he's really enamoured with you. I'm sure it can work sometimes but usually this situation makes me cringe because the guy doesn't stop holding a candle for the original friend and its sometimes obvious.

Ok, thanks. I just thought they'd make a nice couple. He's not serious about me. We haven't spoken on the phone or anything.

But you're right. I'll leave it alone.

 

[okange76]

Don't do it. Tried with a guy who was so into me but I couldn't stand him. My SIL found him fascinating so I politely directed him towards her. He was so pissed off and felt highly insulted.

 

[londontresses]

Don't do it. Tried with a guy who was so into me but I couldn't stand him. My SIL found him fascinating so I politely directed him towards her. He was so pissed off and felt highly insulted.

Lol thank you.

 

[PretteePlease]

i'm always playing matchmaker i like it. i directed someone here to a site that she never would have visited otherwise and she got married in like a year

 

[londontresses]

i'm always playing matchmaker i like it. i directed someone here to a site that she never would have visited otherwise and she got married in like a year

and the site was caallllleeed...

 

[ElegantPearl17]

and the site was caallllleeed...

Exactly!!! Direct me too @PretteePlease

 

[Chocolate_Silk]

and the site was caallllleeed...

Helllllo

 

[candy1214]

I've done it a few times, the last time I did it they got married and now have 2 kids. It requires finesse and patience though, you can't just say "hey not into you, but my girl is fly you would like her." I maintain a friendship and go out w/ them from time to time and eventually make the connection.

 

[londontresses]

I maintain a friendship and go out w/ them from time to time and eventually make the connection.

Ok thanks! Break this bit down for me please?

 

[kandake]

My friend did this with me but we were in high school. she was dating her now husband so she wasn't into the guy. We all hung out one night and me and the dude ended up connecting. I later found out that she planned the whole thing. We dated for a while, he was my prom date, we broke up before going away to college.

 

[candy1214]

Ok thanks! Break this bit down for me please?

Sure. So let's say a man expresses interest in me and after one date or two I realize that there's no spark nor will there ever be, but he's cool and isn't the pushy type. So I reach out to catch up with them every once in awhile, either on the phone or go to get a drink. I'll ask them questions about their dating interests like if they are seeing anyone, why they think it isn't working out and what they are really looking for in a partner. I start asking questions that force them to be honest about their unrealistic expectations and/or negative traits that could be hindering their ability land a good woman and give them a little advice/correction in that area. Then they usually start reaching out and calling me to ask for advice about their dating prospects from time to time. Then I'll be like, yo I know someone I think would be a good match. I'll give them a description of the woman and it's usually specifics about her appearance and character - nice skin, dimples, hour glass shape and sweet and fun personality. By this time, they trust my judgement anyhow and they are usually game. So then I say let's just do happy hour next week. And it goes from there...

 

[londontresses]

Sure. So let's say a man expresses interest in me and after one date or two I realize that there's no spark nor will there ever be, but he's cool and isn't the pushy type. So I reach out to catch up with them every once in awhile, either on the phone or go to get a drink. I'll ask them questions about their dating interests like if they are seeing anyone, why they think it isn't working out and what they are really looking for in a partner. I start asking questions that force them to be honest about their unrealistic expectations and/or negative traits that could be hindering their ability land a good woman and give them a little advice/correction in that area. Then they usually start reaching out and calling me to ask for advice about their dating prospects from time to time. Then I'll be like, yo I know someone I think would be a good match. I'll give them a description of the woman and it's usually specifics about her appearance and character - nice skin, dimples, hour glass shape and sweet and fun personality. By this time, they trust my judgement anyhow and they are usually game. So then I say let's just do happy hour next week. And it goes from there...

This is awesome. The long game... thanks for the advice

 

[Elnahna]

@candy1214, You're good.

 

[lux10023]

Very simple any eligible single man I meet know I'm married but if I think theyre a good caliber guy I will invite them to an event that my friend and I will attend
Exchanging business cards

I always look out for my sistahs in that way...bringing two people together via a location is simple

What happens thereafter is up to the two ppl

 

[Bunnyhaslonghair]

Girl, don't do this. You would be doing a disservice to your friend. No one wants to feel like the second pick.

 

[londontresses]

Very simple any eligible single man I meet know I'm married but if I think theyre a good caliber guy I will invite them to an event that my friend and I will attend
Exchanging business cards

I always look out for my sistahs in that way...bringing two people together via a location is simple

What happens thereafter is up to the two ppl

This is how I feel. But honestly I think it would be a bit different if I were married.

 

[lux10023]

For me the guy has to be like somewhat of a game changer so to speak as I am not out as often anymore -and regular guys I wouldn't connect as my girls meet regular guys Im talking ya know that guy!! Moreso

the guy has to be someone dh or I could do business with as well.

The contact has to be beneficial to my homegirl, dh or if I'm inviting him to meet us anywhere.

The caliber is the caveat here. I meet tons of men in business or professional settings, but I want whoever I connect my friend to, to be someone who would change her life and add value in a major way think CEO or owner of a business, celeb etc.

Someone she wouldn't normally have access to...

This is how I feel. But honestly I think it would be a bit different if I were married.

 

[topsyturvy86]

Don't do it... I tried this once and the guy ended up hurt and felt somewhat insulted which made me feel bad as I cared about him really, just not in that way

He's into you for I would imagine lots of reasons, he's probably not just looking for someone to fancy so you can't just point him in another direction

 

[FemmeFatale]

For me the guy has to be like somewhat of a game changer so to speak as I am not out as often anymore -and regular guys I wouldn't connect as my girls meet regular guys Im talking ya know that guy!! Moreso

the guy has to be someone dh or I could do business with as well.

The contact has to be beneficial to my homegirl, dh or if I'm inviting him to meet us anywhere.

The caliber is the caveat here. I meet tons of men in business or professional settings, but I want whoever I connect my friend to, to be someone who would change her life and add value in a major way think CEO or owner of a business, celeb etc.

Someone she wouldn't normally have access to...

Wow, you're a great friend there's not too many women out here like that.

 

[PhonyBaloney500]

Sure. So let's say a man expresses interest in me and after one date or two I realize that there's no spark nor will there ever be, but he's cool and isn't the pushy type. So I reach out to catch up with them every once in awhile, either on the phone or go to get a drink. I'll ask them questions about their dating interests like if they are seeing anyone, why they think it isn't working out and what they are really looking for in a partner. I start asking questions that force them to be honest about their unrealistic expectations and/or negative traits that could be hindering their ability land a good woman and give them a little advice/correction in that area. Then they usually start reaching out and calling me to ask for advice about their dating prospects from time to time. Then I'll be like, yo I know someone I think would be a good match. I'll give them a description of the woman and it's usually specifics about her appearance and character - nice skin, dimples, hour glass shape and sweet and fun personality. By this time, they trust my judgement anyhow and they are usually game. So then I say let's just do happy hour next week. And it goes from there...

And you let the guy know "hey you're cool and all we just don't have the spark" or the like?

 

[lux10023]

Honestly I just want all my diva amigas to be in wonderful relationships
When everyone is winning and happy
The energy of the friend group is great
We can all build and share and enjoy our black love.... Equals black family and that is what we need, each other.

Wow, you're a great friend there's not too many women out here like that.