filthyfresh
New Member
I had to get on here to vent because I am so frustrated with my family. Mainly my Mom & one of my aunts. They are so completely uneducated on black hair & so completely whitewashed that I can't stand it! 
My Mom consistently talks about how I need to do this and that with my hair. She asks my friends and my SO if they like my hair (while in front of me & if I leave the room) because she thinks my hair is ugly and that they're lying to me when they compliment me on it. She told me, "Your friends said they like your hair? They're lying to you. They're not your real friends. Don't listen to them. I'm your mother, I wouldn't lie to you because I love you."
But then a few days later she saw me after I had put some KCCC in my hair & had my coils popping & said "Ooh I wish I could get my hair to do that!" Really now, Mom? This is the same hair that I had the other day that you were trying to convince my SO & friends that was so ugly. GTFOH.
My aunt. Let's do a background on her. She's worn glued in tracks for as long as I've been alive. She hardly has no hair now. She wears wigs & IWs religiously. So now she's been attempting to grow her hair underneath. She calls me today out of the blue asking if I comb my hair. Now any natural head knows that you usually comb your hair when you co-wash. So I said not really, just when I wash it every other day or so. She goes, 'Oh NO! You need to comb your hair every day so that it doesn't lock up and get matted and then they'll have to cut it out." I'm like I wash my hair almost daily & if I comb thru it all the time I'll mess up my curl pattern. She replies, "What you have on your head are not curls. Those are naps. No you need to comb that mess every day." I was furious. She has only seen me once since I did the BC & when she saw me, my curls/coils were popping. What killed me the most was when she asked if I wanted her to take me [which really means me picking her up and driving her since she doesn't drive] to get a wig to wear for interviews. I just told her okay to get her off the phone but I didn't set a specific date, nor do I want to. What do I look like taking hair advice from someone who has messed theirs up for the past 20+ years?
Who are they to tell me anything about MY hair? They don't know anything about natural hair. NEITHER of them are natural nor have they probably ever been. I am so incredibly sick of these two ganging up on me about my hair. The rest of the world has NO problem with my hair. In fact everybody loves it. Including my Dad, who is one of the most critical men I've ever met in my life. He doesn't mince words & even he told me, "Oh wow, your hair looks cute! Different, but cute. It suits you. I like it." Men see me on the street & try to talk to me so much more now that I'm natural. My SO loves it to death & can't keep his hands out of it. My goodness, even my token White girl friend likes it! LOL. And most of all, I like it. I plan to be a teacher & a writer so I don't think my natural hair will get in the way of anybody hiring me. My slapping on a wig for an interview isn't going to help me at all. I'm going to be so self-conscious about wearing a wig that I probably won't be able to focus.
I apologize for the length of this vent but I had to get it out to people who would understand how I feel. I'm just tired of their mess. They need to learn how to be quiet and let me do me. Stop interfering and talking about something they know nothing about.
My Mom consistently talks about how I need to do this and that with my hair. She asks my friends and my SO if they like my hair (while in front of me & if I leave the room) because she thinks my hair is ugly and that they're lying to me when they compliment me on it. She told me, "Your friends said they like your hair? They're lying to you. They're not your real friends. Don't listen to them. I'm your mother, I wouldn't lie to you because I love you."
But then a few days later she saw me after I had put some KCCC in my hair & had my coils popping & said "Ooh I wish I could get my hair to do that!" Really now, Mom? This is the same hair that I had the other day that you were trying to convince my SO & friends that was so ugly. GTFOH. My aunt. Let's do a background on her. She's worn glued in tracks for as long as I've been alive. She hardly has no hair now. She wears wigs & IWs religiously. So now she's been attempting to grow her hair underneath. She calls me today out of the blue asking if I comb my hair. Now any natural head knows that you usually comb your hair when you co-wash. So I said not really, just when I wash it every other day or so. She goes, 'Oh NO! You need to comb your hair every day so that it doesn't lock up and get matted and then they'll have to cut it out." I'm like I wash my hair almost daily & if I comb thru it all the time I'll mess up my curl pattern. She replies, "What you have on your head are not curls. Those are naps. No you need to comb that mess every day." I was furious. She has only seen me once since I did the BC & when she saw me, my curls/coils were popping. What killed me the most was when she asked if I wanted her to take me [which really means me picking her up and driving her since she doesn't drive] to get a wig to wear for interviews. I just told her okay to get her off the phone but I didn't set a specific date, nor do I want to. What do I look like taking hair advice from someone who has messed theirs up for the past 20+ years?
Who are they to tell me anything about MY hair? They don't know anything about natural hair. NEITHER of them are natural nor have they probably ever been. I am so incredibly sick of these two ganging up on me about my hair. The rest of the world has NO problem with my hair. In fact everybody loves it. Including my Dad, who is one of the most critical men I've ever met in my life. He doesn't mince words & even he told me, "Oh wow, your hair looks cute! Different, but cute. It suits you. I like it." Men see me on the street & try to talk to me so much more now that I'm natural. My SO loves it to death & can't keep his hands out of it. My goodness, even my token White girl friend likes it! LOL. And most of all, I like it. I plan to be a teacher & a writer so I don't think my natural hair will get in the way of anybody hiring me. My slapping on a wig for an interview isn't going to help me at all. I'm going to be so self-conscious about wearing a wig that I probably won't be able to focus.
I apologize for the length of this vent but I had to get it out to people who would understand how I feel. I'm just tired of their mess. They need to learn how to be quiet and let me do me. Stop interfering and talking about something they know nothing about.
That's why you have us to vent to and talk about hair with. Sometimes you just need someone to talk to who understands the process. 
