Newbie! Should I....

[Hair2there]

First, let me say that I've been lurking for a few days and I am so impress by the support that is offered. Thank goodness for this forum. I've learned more about hair from lurking here for a few days, than I have from going to salons for years.

Now with that said, let me tell you that I have 4a/4b hair. I stopped going to my stylist of a year when I started getting bald spots /images/graemlins/frown.giffrom her brushing my hair while washing it and bad realaxer). So I started going to this guy and he told me that my previous stylist was putting cheap relaxers in my hair and that my next relaxer needed to be pulled through. I was reluctant because he told me it would cost $100 for him to pull it through. So I opt to wait on that and had him just relax my new growth. After he was finished he pointed out to me the difference of his relaxer versus the old relaxer. Sure enough, the difference was extremely noticeable. My new growth was shiny, black and silky and my old relaxed hair was dull, dry and looked damaged. I continued to go to him for a few roller sets and one relaxer. After suffering from sexual harrassment /images/graemlins/shocked.gif , a horrible personality, me being in his shop for six hours just for a roller set and so on and so on. I'm sorry if I'm rambling but I've had so many bad experiences with salons /images/graemlins/frown.gif you wouldn't believe (I'm sure I'm not alone). Now I'm trying to take care of my own hair like most of you all. So, now I need to know if I should pull a realxer through my hair. Do you all think it would damage my hair even further?

 

[Ennyaa]

I don't think pulling it through would be a good idea. If your hair is already damaged I think that putting something on it that would break it down even more will make it anything but worse. You should look on the board for things that will help make your damaged ends look better while they grow out. Depending on how bad it is you may need to cut some off, but I hate telling people that. /images/graemlins/ohwell.gif I'm a big fan of not cutting until you've tried everything you can to make it better. And even then cutting a little at a time as it grows out.

 

[Hair2there]

Hi, Enyaa Thank you for responding.

I just wanted to point out that when my hair is straightened it doesn't look as damaged. I also wanted to point out that the beautician thought I was putting box perms (no-lye) in my head until I told him it was "professionally" put in. After, searching through this forum I've noticed that some ladies had the same problem as me using the no-lye relaxers. I read that they applied a corrective relaxer to condition the pervious relaxed hair and it helped. The only problem is that a "professional" put my relaxers in so how am I suppose to know if she actually put in a no-lye relaxer or if my hair is actually damaged. (I really hoped that made sense /images/graemlins/smirk.gif)
I just don't know where to go from here.

 

[Armyqt]

Welcome to the board. You have empowered yourself by taking responsibility for your hair and not letting someone tell you what should be done.

Now , could you please explain a little more about your hair's condition. What kind of damage? Is your hair breaking? How often do you relax? Is your hair colortreated? Answering some of these questions will allow the ladies here to give you better guidance. the more info you provide, the better feedback you will get.

As for the pull through relaxer, I read about it in the Shamboosie book and recently did it myself. I am NOT advocating that you do this however. This has to be a personal choice after much consideration and research. Personally I was tired of taking such good care of my hair and constantly be struggling with dry hair. When I made the decision to do this, I was mentally prepared to cut my hair off if need be. Then after all the stories I've read about people who relax every 4-5 weeks and pull through each time (not advocating this), I thought, this one time shouldn't hurt. So I took the plunge and did it myself with Motions lye regular relaxer. I left in on less than five minutes. I must say that I noticed a big difference in my hair after doing this. This is just my story. Like I said, it has to be a personal decision and you have to be mentally prepared to deal with the outcome. Sorry for being so long-winded and perhaps so dramatic. After all, our hair is our crowning glory and us girls around here take it very seriously. Good luck to you and I look forward to reading more posts from you! /images/graemlins/smile.gif

 

[pebbles]

Hi Hairtothere,

Welcome to the board! /images/graemlins/smile.gif
The hairdresser may have applied a no-lye relaxer. A lot of salons use them. If there is that much of a difference in the look of the two relaxers you had done, I would guess that's what you had earlier.

When I switched from no-lye to lye, after the relaxer was applied to my new growth, the relaxer was massaged into the length of my hair and left for 3-4 minutes. According to the famous Shamboosie, he recommends doing this to condition the hair previously relaxed with no-lye. It was fine for me. But it should only be done that first time. All other times the relaxer should only be applied to your new growth to avoid over processing, thinning and breakage.

Find yourself a good hairdresser that will apply a lye relaxer for you, or someone you trust and you know they can do it. After that, wash and deep condition your hair faithfully every week. I wash and condition every 3 days. Do what is good for you. When it comes to products, there are tons of excellent products you can try. If you read through a couple of posts you'll find some great suggestions. Good luck! /images/graemlins/smile.gif

 

[Nyambura]

Hi! Welcome!

You're in good hands here. The other members here have such great advice. I'd like to join ArmyQT in congratulating you for empowering yourself by choosing to take primary responsibility for your hair.

However, in your post, you said something that is of SERIOUS concern to me - were you sexually harassed by this hair care "professional"?

 

[hairfanatic]

Hi Hair2there Welcome! /images/graemlins/wink.gif

You have definately come to the right place! /images/graemlins/grin.gif Don't worry, we will have you being a pro at doing your own hair /images/graemlins/smile.gif You should never pull the relaxer through the hair because yes, you will damage it. If you put the relaxer on and basically let it straighten on it's own, you will save yourself from a lot of hair damage. And...you want to leave some curl in the hair and not get it bone straight. Getting the hair bone straight is what causes the hair to break. Another suggestion try not to switch different relaxers if you find one that works, stick with it because switching will definately damage your hair.

By the way, what type of relaxer do you use? Is it lye or no lye? What do you use to wash and condition your hair with?

 

[Hair2there]

Thanks, everyone, for the warm welcome!

Armyqt, it sounds like you have no regrets about your transition. I'm glad it worked in your favor.

Here's a little information about my hair. It sheds normally, but I have experienced some breakage. It is not as bad as it has been in the past. I relax like every 8-10 weeks and I do not have any color in my hair. What bothers me the most about my hair is the way the old relaxer looks. Armyqt, when you stated that you was tired of taking care of dry hair and you were ready to accept cutting it off, that's exactly how I feel right now. I'm just a little uneasy. I think I might take that plunge. Everyone gave me some hope! Could someone tell me where I can purchase the Shamboosie book?

 

[Hair2there]

Hi Nyambura,

Girl, yeah he was a pervert /images/graemlins/shocked.gif. He also harassed my friend before. I left his shop feeling like eewww /images/graemlins/crazy.gif and then later I would get upset /images/graemlins/mad.gif. I just couldn't take it anymore. I would love to go into details but it might not be appropriate. Some haircare "professional" he was /images/graemlins/ohwell.gif.

 

[pebbles]

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
Girl, yeah he was a pervert . He also harassed my friend before. I left his shop feeling like eewww and then later I would get upset . I just couldn't take it anymore. I would love to go into details but it might not be appropriate. Some haircare "professional" he was .

[/ QUOTE ]

This guy is a pervert, and I'm glad you stopped going. /images/graemlins/smile.gif

 

[LondonDiva]

Welcome to the board.

You have come to the right place for all your hair care concerns. I'm glad you upped and left the pervert stylist. Some people /images/graemlins/nono.gif have no shame. I won't add to what a lot of the ladies have said already as they've given you great advice and I'd just be repeating it.

Good Luck on your hair journey.

BTW if I've skimmed over it, what is your hair length now and what is your ultimate hair goal.

 

[Armyqt]

Hair2there, the Shamboosie book can be purchased at Barnes and Noble. But wait, don't run right out and purchase just yet. Yes it was very informative, but I have gained much more useful knowledge on this board. Besides, many here, including me, have read it and would be happy to help guide you through your haircare. I suggest going to the bookstore and browsing through the book first before you decide to purchase.

Right now, what is your haircare regime? How often do you wash? What type of products do you use? Are u using heat and how often? Do you do hot oil treatments? I know this all seems like a lot, but knowing this information will help you in coming up with a good hair care regime.

The key point I would add here to healthy hair is moisture, moisture and more moisture! Whatever condition your hair is in, good or bad, this is a must. Protecting the ends of your hair, protective styles, and keeping the hair and scalp clean some things you need to consider when developing a regime. The important thing is finding what works for you so you can be consistent and simplicity. Don't worry, in no time your hair will be swanging!! /images/graemlins/grin.gif

 

[Hair2there]

Armyqt, I wash my hair like once every two weeks during the winter. I wash it once a week during the summer. When my hair gets washed, it hardly ever gets a hot oil treatment or deep conditioner. I'm not sure what type of shampoo and conditioner my former beautician used. But when I washed my own hair, I used creme of nature shampoo/cond and Alberto V05 split ends conditioner. I hope they are o.k. I do not use much heat on my hair at all. I probably blow dried my hair on the avg of 4x a year or less. In the past, my beautician always roller setted my hair so I never really dealt too much with it until now. I washed and conditioned my hair Sunday and then I braided it in little braids all over so it could air dry into a wavy pattern. Well, when I took the braids down, my hair was really frizzy and dry looking. So right now I'm rocking a relaxed Afro /images/graemlins/king.gif.

 

[Hair2there]

Hi, LondonDiva!

I have a bob-like style right now and my current length is 11 inches from front to side and my hair in the back is a little below my neck touching my back. My hair grows pretty fast, but my only problem is keeping the hair on my head. I almost reached bra srap length a couple of times before, but some mishap will always cause it to fall out. So right now my goal is to reach my bra strap by New Years next year. Do you think that's feasible?

 

[LondonDiva]

Are you talking about Jan 2004 as in next years New Years?

From where you are at now I'd say yes that's very feasible to achieve. Good Luck on your hair goals.