New Member seeking haircare advise (long)

Hello all,

I'm a new member to this board even though I have been reading posts here for a few months now. And I am confused on what exactly to do with my hair. I don't want to cut it all off and start over but sometimes like this morning, just looking at it in the mirror disturbs me. It almost seems like my hair is crying for some kind of attention but I don't know excatly what! Here's some of the things I do to my hair right now and any advise will be greatly appreciated. Thanks in advance.

(these are the answers that I typed in to the new member questionnarie at blackhaircareandbody):
1. Do you have any specific problems or issues with your hair right
now?
Right now my hair seems to be "stuck" at one length (at lower neck,
almost chin on sides) for several years now and I would like to
change that. I am also experiencing a lot of breakage/shedding
everytime I comb my hair and slightly irritated scalp and extra dry
hair

2. Natural or relaxed?
Relaxed (last touch up on 6.7.03 with lye perm at salon even though
used no lye perms for the last several years)

3. How long is your hair now (if you don't know inches, say
shoulder, ear length, etc)? What is your goal length?
almost to the bottom of the neck in the back (but slightly thin in
that center kitchen area) and almost chin length on the sides (one
side is shorter than the other due to a bang cut in my hair a few
years ago)

4. How often do you wash your hair (daily, once per week, twice per
week or less frequently)? Which shampoo?
it depends on when my scalp get really irritated (if so then I will
rinse it and wash at least once a week)

5. How often do you use a moisturizing conditioner? Which one(s)?
every wash, Suave or VO5 (strawberries and cream)

6. How often do you use a deep conditioner? Which one(s)?
still looking for a deep conditioner

7. How often do you use a protein conditioner? Which one(s)?
every other week (LeKlair Cholersterol PLUS)

8. What do you currently use to moisturize your hair?
anything from EVOO (currently the most used), to wrapping
lotion/foam, to water

9. Do you use heat appliances (e.g., curling iron, blow dryer,
etc.)? If so, how often in a week?
yes, just started back flat ironing once a week but before didn't
use heating applicances until sepcial occasions

10. When was your last trim?
6.7.03 but I felt like more than 1/2" needed to be cut from my hair
since it has been overprocessed/ underprocessed/ very damaged with
split ends and anything inbetween

11. What is your usual trimming schedule, if any?
need to start one but hopefully to cut 1" off every 3-4 months on
ends all the way around

12. How do you wear your hair on a daily basis?
in a center low ponytail secured with rubber bands, or break free
elastics (the signature style that I am getting tired of wearing and
have been wearing for the past several years but don't know what
else protective style to do with it since it's only about 3" long
max in the center back that I have been having trouble with getting
up)

13. Please list any additional styling products here:
I have a cabinet full of products that used to work for me at one
time or another including, wild growth hair oil for unmanagable new
growth, t-reee growth creme, pink oil moisturizer, B&B wrapping
foam, tar oil hot, pink conditioning hairdress, pink glossifer,
ultra sheen (regular and herbal gro formulas), blue magic bergamont,
infusium 23 (moisturizing and regular formulas), profectiv line
products (root health, growth and heal, and long and healthy),
african royale braid spray and shampoo, s-curl activator, activator
gel (family dollar brand- blue duchess), pink conditioning control
gel (brown in color), protein styling gel (clear), sheenique freeze
hold gel (clear), water for when having a really bad hair day!


COLOR QUESTIONS:

14. Do you color your hair? If so, when was the last time?
yes. the last time I colored my hair was a couple of months ago

15. What kind color do you use (brand, semi-permanent, permanent)?
permanent on ocassion (1+ year space in between), last time I
colored with a rinse (clariol jazzing color in clear)

RELAXER QUESTIONS:

16. Are you relaxed? If so, are you using a lye or no lye relaxer?
used no-lye at home for almost 10 years then at salon visits used lye

17. How often are you getting a retouch?
I try to get a retouch every 2-3 months

18. Does your hairdresser treat your ends to prevent overlapping
when applying relaxer? no

19. Does your stylist apply the perm solution from roots to ends <font color="purple"> </font>
with each touch up? yes
 
19. Does your stylist apply the perm solution from roots to ends
with each touch up? Yes

Okay, the thing that jumped out at me is that your stylist applies relaxer to all of your hair. That is a HUGE no no. Relaxer should only be applied to the new growth, or that portion of that hair that has not been chemically treated. More than likely your hair is overprocessed and that is why it is so dry and only grows to a certain point before it breaks. I would strongly encourage you to find a new stylist who focus is on maintaining healthy hair.
 
ditto on what honey said about the overprocessing
also when you use permanent color on your hair, do you dye your whole head everytime?
I would say ease up on the gels as well... they can be really drying and break off your hair
 
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Okay, the thing that jumped out at me is that your stylist applies relaxer to all of your hair. That is a HUGE no no. Relaxer should only be applied to the new growth, or that portion of that hair that has not been chemically treated.

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Ditto!

And you may want to try a different conditioner for your moisturizing treatments. And also a different daily moisturizer. You'll find thousands of suggestions on this board.

Welcome to the board!
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Hello Honey and thanks for replying to my post. This too (the relaxer being applied to the ends of my hair) I believe is making my hair break off. But the funny thing about this is that before I went to the salon (the last time I went to one was on 6.7.03) I used to let my grandmother do my relaxers and she would place the relaxer all the way to the ends of my hair. After I found out that this is what damaged my hair this badly I told her not to do that anymore and she listened. But by then (just this past year) it seems like it's too late. My hair seems beyond repair. So I took it upon myself to go to a salon (haven't been to one since I was 13 and I'm almost 20 now) and let a "professional." cut and relax my hair. I talked to her a couple of weeks before the actual appointment and she told me that she was going to relax the new growth and cut my hair. So when my appointment came up I went to the salon to get my first lye perm (in a long time) and cut and at first she applied the perm to my new growth only (it was really poofy) and smoothed, then after that she went on and applied it to the ends too and when I asked her why she did that she said that she did that so that the hair could be "less poofy looking" and to "remove the calcium hydroxide from my hair" that caused it to look "poofy."

Now please take into consideration before she did this I told her that the reason I was going to go to the salon again since that was the mistake before (applying the perm all the way to the ends of my hair) and I wanted to do things right this time. So after she relaxer my hair (my scalp is sensitive and I had some scalp burns), she trims about 1/4" off, wraps my hair, and sets me under the dryer. When all that is done she styles my hair in this bob and I go home somewhat satisfied.

But the next day my scalp had dried out so I washed it and applied olive oil to it to make it feel better. Remember this was on the 7th of this month. Since then I started washing it every 3-4 days with water and conditioner and it helps some but not completely.

Right now my hair is extemely dry due to all of this and I want it to be healither. It's kind of hard for me to explain...just looking at it in the mirror almost makes me want to cry since it's very damaged but then again I'm not sure what to do at this point. It's poofy when washed, has split ends, and is (or was for a few) seemed bone straight (which I don't prefer). I don't know should I cut so much off or just forget about it. But I truly miss my long hair that I had when I was a child and would really like to achieve it again since I am a teenager (19 going on 20 in Aug) and would like to feel like I am not a slave to my head..that it can be healthier and grow but I'm not sure where to start.

Please will someone give me a clue as to what would be the best thing to do right now? Thanks in advance.

PS- I ordered a instant weave (outre) the other day online since I wanted to do give my damaged hair a rest. I also have a digital camera and am willing to post pictures of my hair at its current state if it will be of any assistance to the memebers in solving my hair woes. Thanks again.
 
I am a little confused on what would be the best daily moisturizer for my hair at this moment (besides water which helps me a lot during this time but it dries out quickly) and conditoner. I admit that I have a lot of hair products but I don't think I have any reliable deep conditioning treatments.
 
It sounds like your stylist gave you a corrective relaxer to fix the underprocessed, no-lye hair... I had one a long time ago and it helped a lot with frizz and poofiness.

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I admit that I have a lot of hair products but I don't think I have any reliable deep conditioning treatments.


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You'll have plenty of ideas after spending a few minutes on this board!
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Since you wear you hair up most of the time, you may benefit from using S-Curl Spray as a moisturizer. That's right--jheri curl juice. But it works for a lot of ladies here! Do a search and you'll see.
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The one thing I would add is to give the ponytail a rest. It seems as if your hair in that area could not achieve lenght because that is where the contant stress is on the area day after day with the ponytail. Try putting the ponytail is little higher so it is not always in the same spot. Also stop using the rubberbands. Try using something a little more gentle instead.
 
Hi IWHH-

If your hair had been underprocessed, I can understand her applying the relaxer to the portion of the hair that was not straight. Hair that is dry, brittle, difficult to manage, will not hold a curl, dull, limp, lifeless and breaks easily is overprocessed.

As for what you can do now, there are several approaches that you can take.

1. You can either gradually trim the overprocessed hair off or get a more drastic cut that should eliminate the damaged hair (similar to Halle Berry)

2. Find a good moisturizing shampoo, moisturizing conditioner and protein conditioner that works well on your hair type. As for specific products I am currently rotating between Motions, Aubrey, Elasta QP and Kemi products. Both Aubrey &amp; Kemi are organic and do not contain any SLS (which can be very harsh and strip the hair), so those might be good options for you. I use Aphoghee for damaged hair as my protein conditioner.

3. Shampoo weekly and if possible do a conditioner wash (you can do a search to get more info about this) every few days. Deep condition with the moisturizng conditioner weekly. Use the protein conditioner once a month.

4. Moisturize, moisturize, moisturize your hair. The product you choose will be dependant upon how you were your hair. However, s-curl gets high marks in my book.

5. Wear a low-maintenance or protective hairstyle – if you go with the instant weave that should do the trick.

6. Tie your hair up with a silk/satin scarf every night.
 
Just my lil 2 cents...

5. How often do you use a moisturizing conditioner? Which one(s)?
every wash, Suave or VO5 (strawberries and cream)

IMO, these conditioners are fine for conditioner washings/rinses. However, cuz of your current "dry" issues, these conditioners are not gonna give your hair that much needed extra moisture that it's currently crying out for. Girl, u need a conditioner that's gonna give u a BLAST of moisuture IMMEDIATELY. I can only recommend Motions Moisture Plus cuz this is the only one I have used. Believe me, there's tons more that members are having success with. Once u have found that moisture balance then u can go back to Suave or VO5. But right now, give those a rest...your hair needs more moisture than those can provide.

That leads me to this... maybe you could benefit from a CO wash (conditioner wash). That'll help reduce the breakage while giving moisture at the same time.

For a blast of moisture... this is what I do...
1) I apply Motions Moisture Plus onto my "dry hair" for 30 mins.
2) Proceed to the shower where I massage the conditioner into the hair.
3) Rinse out
4) Again apply Motions Moisture Plus (mixed with EVOO), cover with a plastic cap, sit under a warm hooded dryer for 30 mins.
5) Rinse out, the proceed to Motions leave in, followed by Hot 6 oil.
6) AIR DRY

8. What do you currently use to moisturize your hair? anything from EVOO (currently the most used), to wrapping lotion/foam, to water

Be careful with using "wrapping lotion/foam" as a moisturizer. I've only had experience with one (Motions), &amp; it was VERY DRYING TO MY HAIR. U may want to try S-CURL as recommended... I loooove this moisturizer. I apply it heavily to my updos. It keeps them very moisturized for days.


6. How often do you use a deep conditioner? Which one(s)?
still looking for a deep conditioner

My "deep conditioner" is the same as my "moisturing conditioner", Motions Moisture Plus. For me, the difference is not the conditioner, it's what I do with the conditioner. For just "moisturizing", I apply the conditioner for say 15 mins then rinse. For "deep conditioning", I apply the conditioner for 30 or so min under a warm hooded dryer.

**** GET RID OF PINK OIL MOISTURIZER.... cuz you're having problems retaining moisture, this product is probably making the issue worse. My hair used to be very moisturized when applied, then it turned "brittle" like a dried out leaf by the next day.

I'm sure others have advice too, so I'm gonna stop here &amp; let others jump in.

My lil advice may not help your situation, then again, it just may
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The ladies gave you some wonderful advice. The only things I have to add is 1)have patience as it will take time; 2) be consistent in your product useage in order to see results; and 3) avoid set backs if possible. Best to you.
 
Hello to all who replied to my questions and thanks for your input. Earlier today (before I logged back into this site) I took my hair out of that ponytail that I am slowly starting to dislike, and placed an instant weave on my hair (left the hair out in front to blend). I did this cause before that I was starting to snip at the over/underprocessed hair and I didn't want to do something that I would later regret so I just stopped.

As far as the deep conditioners go, I am going to give the motions moisture plus a try and also get their lavish shampoo to go with it for my weekly washings. For the protein treatments, is the LeKlair cholesterol conditioner that I have good enough or is that another type of conditioner? As for the damaged hair, I think I will trim almost 1" off every 2-3 months until I cut it all away. And I would also like to know does anyone have any suggestions as to what protective/ low fuss hairstyles I can do when I am not or do not care to wear the instant piece? Thanks again for your help and now I feel like I can sleep a little better tonight knowing that I am on the start to a healthy, growing head of hair.
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Welcome,
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I agree w/ what all the ladies have said there's always good advice on this board. I would suggest If you're doing shampoing often and it's summer, just doing conditioner washes-which is just rinsing your hair, conditioning then rinsing again with NO SHAMPOO, and try to air dry and give up the heat appliances for a while so your hair can recoperate-this will help with dryness.
hth
 
Hi IWHH, for protein treatments, I really like Aubrey Organics GPB. It moisturizes while strengthening my hair. I believe it was created with chemically-damaged African American hair in mind. I got turned on to it by Jade21, who's got tailbone-length hair and whose advice has helped me *immensely.* She wrote an article on Aubrey Organics for hairboutique.com a while ago and she does a great job of explaining: article

Good luck!
 
Some more ideas:
try braidouts
do your final rinses with distilled water (I have seen major softness from this as well as misting my hair daily with it)
definitely add a weekly hot oil treatment since dryness is a problem. I use VO5 or a homemade mix of coconut oil oil, castor oil and honey.
 
An instant weave is sort of like a wig, except it doesn't look so "wiggy". You leave out the front of your hair and put the instant weave on the crown of your head and blend the hair that you left out into the instant weave hair.

Instant Weave
 
That's why people ask other people if peoples long hair is there. Look at those instant weaves they look like that persons hair. Gee the world today.
 
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Thanks Crysdon
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Wow, those look sooo natural to me. I can not believe that those are weaves
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i love the weaves. peach do you think it is a fake ad? i am thinking of getting some of it!
 
Just a note Jade21 used to have knee or almost knee-length hair and she cut back to tailbone length, so anything IS possible.
hth
 
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[ QUOTE ]
Thanks Crysdon
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Wow, those look sooo natural to me. I can not believe that those are weaves
nono.gif
...



[/ QUOTE ]

i love the weaves. peach do you think it is a fake ad? i am thinking of getting some of it!

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I'm also tempted to get one, they look so good, and I could use them when I dont want to manipulate my whole head!
 
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[ QUOTE ]
Thanks Crysdon
cool.gif


Wow, those look sooo natural to me. I can not believe that those are weaves
nono.gif
...



[/ QUOTE ]

i love the weaves. peach do you think it is a fake ad? i am thinking of getting some of it!

[/ QUOTE ]

Nope, I don't think it's a "fake ad"... I'm just in awe that "fake" hair looks so incredible real as real hair. I've been trying to purchase a "phonytail" for months now, but I keep finding the ones that looks waaaayyy too "artificial"...or better yet, much too "silky" compared to my own hair. But those instant weaves look GREAT! They are totally believeable....nothing "artficial looking" about them. If there was a way for me to "cover up" my natural hair under the "instants", then I'll sport one those FOR SURE
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!!!!! Maybe there is... I need to look into this; this could be the "winter protection style" that I'm looking for.. or else the phonytail if I can find one that I like
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Question, how does the "instant weave" stay on the head
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... is it glued in
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... If so, then, oh well, it's not for me
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I thought about getting one, too. But they don't make kinky ones.
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I think they attach with combs. outrehair.com and sensationnel.com have step by step instructions on how to put them on. No glue required!
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The one thing I would add is to give the ponytail a rest. It seems as if your hair in that area could not achieve lenght because that is where the contant stress is on the area day after day with the ponytail. Try putting the ponytail is little higher so it is not always in the same spot. Also stop using the rubberbands. Try using something a little more gentle instead.

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Welcome! I'm gonna have to agree with this. I have been cutting back on the ponytails(I was wearing them loosley)...and I was still getting some breakage...not as much as before but still slightly. So I've decided to not do them at all. I've recently started doing a low loose braid at the base(not secured), then leave the length open. I braid about 3 'stiches', then stop. This is working really well so far.
 
Thanks again everyone for the advise. I would like to stop wearing the ponytail and switch to other protective hairstyles but I don't know which ones I could do for my hair length. I don't like wearing my hair down a lot since it's damaged. I did try to do a braid out a couple of weeks ago and it looked presentable...I think I will try to do another one of those this weekend and see how it goes. But is there any other hairstyles that I can wear where I won't have to wear my hair down and manipulate it much (besides braids)? Any suggestions will be greatly appreciated.
 
do you know how to do a french braid? I used to have my mom do mine until I learned. When I get to the bottom, I just tuck the ends under and secure with a bobby pin. I actually prefer that to a ponytail because of the breakage issue. You can actually do it the night before and cover your head with a satin scarf. In the morning you just lightly run a comb over it to smooth down any stray hairs. I noticed that if I do it on wet hair it comes out smoother and lasts longer. I can also leave my Pantene conditioner in it.
 
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