Never going to reach my goal!

[BobbieDoll]

Ok so I have been doing this whole hair care thing for a while now and I have learned so much and came so far from where I used to be, there is only one problem. Every time I get close to reaching my goal of BSL something happens! First there was the time when I was less than 2 inches away and decided to get braids. When I took the braids out and went to the dominican salon to get my hair washed the chick did a terrible job of detangling my hair and had to get it cut because I lost so much hair and my ends looked terrible. Then there were a couple of times when I asked for a trim and left with 2 inches less hair. Am I the only one with this problem? I just feel like I'm never going to reach my goal ever

 

[Traycee]

It seems like other people are sabotaging your growth not you..You need to find a stylist who you can trust....

Don't give up your hair is beautiful

 

[Diya]

I agree with everything Traycee said, except I think maybe you should give up stylists totally for a while and take matters into your own hands at least until you've surpassed your goal. See... stylists may not be sensitive to your goals right now and it shows from your past experiences that this is only holding you back. If I were you, I'd learn how to style my own hair, protect it and keep it healthy until I got those last 2-3 inches and then go from there. That way I can't blame anyone but myself if I don't see progress. HTH and good luck to you!

 

[chicacanella]

Well, if you didn't comb out your hair before going to them, that could of been the reason your hair came out. I remember one time when I was washing my hair after taking out my braids but I forgot to detangle my hair, it was a horror. I lost alot of hair and will never ever make that mistake again.

Second thing is if you don't have a straight hair-type or a relaxer. Some people can't deal with natural-textured curly or kinky hair and will take it out. That is why I won't go to my stylist now that I am 6 months post-relaxer because he will thwart my progress.

 

[Nola Darling]

I agree with these ladies^^^^^ Seems like your hair is progressing and then some one comes to undo all your hard work!!! I'd love to have your hair, it's pretty!!! Don't give up!!!

 

[Alpha Female]

I know it's frustrating, but there are some things you can do, and you've admitted yourself that you're seeing progress. Stay away from braids. For some people, they work, but more often than not, people experience hairline loss, matting/tangling leading to hair loss, etc., such that in the end, it's not really worth it to do them. Stick to other types of protective styles like buns, up-dos, etc.

Just because a salon is Dominican doesn't mean they know what they're doing. If you're going to do the salon route (vs. doing it yourself at home), you need to find someone you can trust, and then you need to 'train' them in the way of doing your hair. If that means bringing your own products, do it. If that means stopping them while they're detangling and showing them how you want it to be done, do it. Going the salon route while trying to have long, thick, healthy hair is NOT for the meek & timid. This is YOUR hair, and you're the only one that can speak up in defense of it!

Most weeks, I do my own hair at home, but when I do go to the salon, like next Friday before I go home for the holidays, I will go in for a touch-up after my second stretch (10 weeks last time, made it to 15 this time). When I go in, I will be bringing some of my own products. Before she starts de-tangling, I always make sure she uses the big-tooth comb first, then she can smooth it out with the smaller-tooth comb as she sections off each piece to roller-set it. When I go in for trims, I tell her a dusting only, then I actually have her hold up the first piece before she trims it to show me exactly how much she is trimming. Trust me, after a few times of 'showing & correcting' them, any hairstylist worth going to will learn how you like your hair to be done, and will start doing so without you having to tell them all the time. But you continue to watch them closely to ensure they're doing what you want. You NEVER turn your attention from what the hairstylist is doing when they're trimming your hair! If you hadn't or had spoken up, she never would have gotten away with trimming 2 inches of your hair off! erplexed

Anyway, hang in there. The process can be slow & discouraging at times, but you ARE seeing progress, and will continue to do so if you get a little more diligent & defensive about who gets into your hair and how/what you let them do when they do get into your hair!

 

[SpyCats]

I totally understand where you are coming from. I was at bsl until last night when I gave myself a MUCH needed trim that put me at what seems to be a bit past apl. I must admit my hair desperately needed the trim and I was holding on to those raggedy ends for dear life, but I am back to the drawing board . I will be hitting the vitamins hard from here on out.

I'm sure you'll make it to your goal soon, your hair looks beautiful by the way.

 

[BobbieDoll]

Yeah I know that salons are my downfall, the stylist I have been to just don't care about other people's hair the way they should. The only reason I go to stylist is because it's convient for me with my schedule and they are way better at styling my hair than I am. I am very style challened and can't do anything with my hair besides put it in a bun. I guess that is going to have to do until I learn to do more with it. Thanks for the replies ladies.

 

[soonergirl]

Hang in there missbobbie!!!! We are all rooting for you... I get discouraged daily, so keep your head up... It seems like the 3 inches I need for bsl are never gonna get here!!!! whew! The only time i go to the stylist is for a relaxer and she know better than to try and trim as we have already had that discussion.... Her: Your ends are raggedy..
Me: Are they split?
Her: No, just raggedy not split...
Ok, so suffice it to say , she didnt trim.... I protective style all the time the ends will be alright...

 

[Leslie_C]

How about only going to a salon for a style or a relaxer but not letting them trim it until u get to your goal and even then u can show them exactly how much u want taken off? As far as ripping through your hair....maybe you should detangle it before you go. I have heard of people who actually wash and condition their own hair and go to the salon just to get it styled and the stylist charges them less money. Id love to find a stylist like that! At least then u could already have it detangled so even if they are a little rougher with your hair than u like....they wont be ripping your hair out trying to detangle from root to tip.

 

[Whimsy]

Don't let anyone trim your hair! Dust on your own if you need a trim.
And cut that negative nellie vibe out! Your hair is beautiful and BSL is on it's way!

 

[BobbieDoll]

Thanks Ladies, you all are the best I never thought of trimming my hair myself but it looks like I am going to have to start. Hopefully if I start taking my vitamins again and taking care of my hair on my own then I can readh my goal by my birthday in June. Thanks again and good luck to those of you that are on your own haircare journey.

 

[Leslie_C]

Thanks Ladies, you all are the best I never thought of trimming my hair myself but it looks like I am going to have to start. Hopefully if I start taking my vitamins again and taking care of my hair on my own then I can readh my goal by my birthday in June. Thanks again and good luck to those of you that are on your own haircare journey.

yeah chica, dusting your ends is easy, especially if you dont mind if they arent perfectly blunt. Even then there are tutorials floating around the web with easy methods to do it.

 

[freshlikemoi]

Detangling was key. I just took out a 7 week weave and I didnt detangle properly and lost a whole lot of hair...and it hurt sooo badly. I have another weave in and I pray that i dont make the same mistake twice. I'm like "braids are supposed to grow your hair, not take everything you've got"

 

[BobbieDoll]

Detangling was key. I just took out a 7 week weave and I didnt detangle properly and lost a whole lot of hair...and it hurt sooo badly. I have another weave in and I pray that i dont make the same mistake twice. I'm like "braids are supposed to grow your hair, not take everything you've got"

Yeah I was hurting really badly afterwards too. I guess it's just a lesson learned for me, it sucked because I was so close.

 

[HoneyA]

Ok so I have been doing this whole hair care thing for a while now and I have learned so much and came so far from where I used to be, there is only one problem. Every time I get close to reaching my goal of BSL something happens! First there was the time when I was less than 2 inches away and decided to get braids. When I took the braids out and went to the dominican salon to get my hair washed the chick did a terrible job of detangling my hair and had to get it cut because I lost so much hair and my ends looked terrible. Then there were a couple of times when I asked for a trim and left with 2 inches less hair. Am I the only one with this problem? I just feel like I'm never going to reach my goal ever

Only speak what you want. When you get close to BSL again (and you will!), do not experiment with anything, no new products, trims, cuts, styles like braids or weaves which IMO (from personal experience) do more harm than good; just leave your hair and let it grow past BSL so you can trim back to BSL. Oh... either don't trim at all until you get past your goal or do your own trims. Stick to what you already know, what got you from SL to APL will get you from APL to BSL and so on. No more experimenting until you get past BSL and by then you'll know enough to hit the next goal and you won't need to experiment...

 

[Nicole1976]

If you are like me and you still want to visit salons.

Make it Crysytal Clear as to what you want. I do such a good job of it...my stylist is very cautious about cutting my hair

 

[nicki6]

Ok so I have been doing this whole hair care thing for a while now and I have learned so much and came so far from where I used to be, there is only one problem. Every time I get close to reaching my goal of BSL something happens! First there was the time when I was less than 2 inches away and decided to get braids. When I took the braids out and went to the dominican salon to get my hair washed the chick did a terrible job of detangling my hair and had to get it cut because I lost so much hair and my ends looked terrible. Then there were a couple of times when I asked for a trim and left with 2 inches less hair. Am I the only one with this problem? I just feel like I'm never going to reach my goal ever

I feel your pain, Missbobbie

We've been in this 'game' about the same amount of time. I've been trying to grow the same 2 inches for more than months now and its so frustrating:walbash:

You must stay far, far away from the SHS and just put your hair up. Every time I consider doing something drastic I just remind myself of how far I've already come.

Keep your head up:wink2: